Au Where When Darth Vader Declares That He’s Luke’s Father Luke Comes To The (entirely Reasonable)

au where when darth vader declares that he’s Luke’s father Luke comes to the (entirely reasonable) conclusion that darth vader and anakin skywalker were married

I would like you to consider a reveal scenario in which Adrien learns that Ladybug is Marinette,

and PANICS.

Because Ladybug? On a good day, he can almost believe that Chat Noir has a shot with Ladybug. She’s dazzling and incredible, sure, but she’s stubborn and she laughs at his dumb jokes and he’s seen her faceplant into the Seine. She’s a superhero, okay, but he’s ALSO a superhero, they can balance that? Maybe???

But Marinette Dupain-Cheng?! THERE IS NO WAY THAT ADRIEN IS COOL ENOUGH FOR MARINETTE DUPAIN-CHENG.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng is objectively the most popular girl in his grade. Everyone has had a crush on her at least once. Adrien breaks out into a cold sweat.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng is also tough as nails??? She stands up for what’s right in every situation, she’s faced down akumas without the suit, she even confronts CHLOE. Oh god.

Without a doubt, Marinette Dupain-Cheng is definitely the most talented person in the school. She has a million passions and wins every contest she enters, whether it’s for fashion design or video games or student council. OH GOD.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng designed an album cover for JAGGED STONE when she was THIRTEEN YEARS OLD. Adrien asked for her AUTOGRAPH. OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD

“Plagg. Plagg, she’s even more incredible without the suit, what do I do, I don’t stand a chance – Plagg! Plagg why are you laughing!!!! THIS IS A CRISIS PLAGG HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THAT THIS IS A CRISIS, I’M”

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goddessofspunk

4 years ago

God I really wish carrying stuffed animals around with you was socially acceptable

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goddessofspunk

5 years ago

Adrichat Craziness plus Miraculous/Batfam Crossover

In light of this new trend I had an urge to do this. This is a Miraculous/Batfam crossover. I'm sorry.

Imagine Damian, Marinette, and Adrien are friends.

How they met and all that backstory stuff is up to you.

Maybe Damian was sent in on a League mission or maybe it was an exchange program.

Maybe Adrien went to a gala with his father or Marinette's parents was catering a party in Gotham or something.

The important part is that they know eachother.

They could all be in a poly, just friends, cult members, secret relatives, a couple and a third wheeler, whatever.

Oh! And they know eachother's identities.

That's important too.

The great thing about this relationship is that no one knows about it except for the tree of them.

It's been hard hiding it from their family and other friends but they already have secret identities.

Lying and making excuses is easy for them.

They have weekly video chats, online movie nights, group chats, revenge plans, black mail, all that good stuff.

They know eachother better then they know themselves at this point.

So one day Damian is at Gotham Academy just scrolling through Tumblr when he finds this gem on #1 trending.

Adrichat.

There are adrichat memes, adrichat fanfics, adrichat comics, ADRICHAT.

The reaction is instant.

He bursts out in laughter, scaring everyone in the vicinity.

The Ice Prince LAUGHING?!?

Either the world is ending or it's the Joker.

Cue the panic and screaming.

Everyone is either running out, looking for places to hide, frozen in fear, or something else along those lines.

After a bit everyone has calmed down a bit and their has masks on they start to notice things.

Wait, where's the henchmen? The rumbling ground? The crazed laughter?

The only laughing that can be heard is Damian's.

Now as they look around they realize that there's no gas seeping out from the windows, under the doors, or through the walls either.

What is happening??

The Batfam arrives and observes from the shadows for a bit.

The cafeteria is full of people but non of them are really reacting like they normally do in some sort of villain attack.

Wait, why is everything just standing around awkward? Where's the henchmen, the guns, the JOKER?!

After a few minutes they come out and start questioning people.

The students and staff just sorta point to a corner of the cafeteria where they are greeted at the sight of a hysterical Damian on the floor.

After the shock of seeing Damian LAUGHING wore off, Nightwing instantly went into panicking mother hen mode and gave him the Joker laugh gas antidote.

It didn't work.

He's still laughing.

WHY IS HE STILL LAUGHING!?!??

At this point the rest of the fam snaps out of it and tries to figure out why the antidote isn't working while panicking. (Well they weren't outwardly showing it so that the civilians could see but they were.)

Through his laughter and tears-wait. TEARS?! Damian tells them to get his phone and call someone called Angel?

Confused Red Robin picked up his phone from off the floor (he dropped and kicked it away during his fit) and looks through Damian's contacts.

As he scrolls through he sees them, Jon, and someone called 'Banana Sunshine Boi' before coming across "Scary Pastry Angel".

He calls them, puts them on speaker, and is surprised when he hears a accented tired female voice say "Dove? *groan* Why in the kwami are you calling me in 2 in the flipping morning?"

From where he is on the floor clutching his stomach, he makes a grabbing motion with one of his hands.

Once the phone is passed to him and he brings it to his ear he wheezes out "M-Mari."

Now panicked Marinette says "Omg are you crying?! Or are you laughing? It's hard to tell?"

"It's b-both actually. But t-that's not what's imp-portant here. Have you *wheeze* c-checked tumblr y-yet?"

"No? I literally just woke up. Wait, Lemme jussstttt......."

After that there was a long pause.

They thought maybe he accidentally hung up when the mystery person whispers through the phone.

"I... I can't... is this for real?"

"Yep."

"........... Heh.... Hhehe. Ehheeheheh. HehEHWHHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAH!"

Slowly the voice on the other side delves into uncontrollable laughter, triggering Damian to laugh harder as well.

He drops the phone again only for it to be caught by Red Hood before it hit the ground.

"What the hell are we supposed to do now? What even HaPpEnEd?!" Asked the anti-hero as he turned to his brothers.

They all just sorta look at eachother before Damian tells them to add Banana to the call.

"Excuse me. WHO?!?" Asked Jason before the phone was snatched out of his hand by Tim.

He does as Damian tells him to and after a few rings another tired accented but now male voice is heard.

"Guys why are mew calling me so early?What's happeting? Mew know I have a furto shoot in the meowning."

'Even half asleep he's still punning.' thinks Damian as Marinette answers his question.

"We c-called because ppttt C-can you check t-tumblr please. I-It's important."

"Umm. Okay?" Was the reply.

They all waited for a few moments before Adrien's voice was heard again.

"Is this real?"

"Correct."

"So I'm actually trending on Tumblr?"

"*wheeze* y-yeah?"

"And hundreds of people are writing fanfics, making memes, and drawing comics about me dating myself?"

"Yep."

"........."

"Dang. I never though about me and Chat like that but I guess we do make a cute couple. After all, the dashing royal and the smooth knight has always been one of my favorite tropes."

"bwahahWHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAH!"

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goddessofspunk

3 years ago

every day i am percieved™️

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goddessofspunk

4 years ago

Part 21! Close but no cigar…

First Prev Next

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goddessofspunk

5 years ago

Sometimes good posts are made by annoying people so I’ll help out

These are Safe Shorts. They were made by Sandra Seilz after someone attempted to rape her. If the fabric is torn, an alarm will be sounded.

This is the Rape-aXe, invented by a South African doctor by the name of Sonnet Ehlers. After interviewing a rape victim who wished she had teeth down there, she made this. If someone’s penis is inserted and pulled back out, the teeth will sink in, and can only be removed by a doctor.

The Killer Tampon (couldn’t find a site for it), made by retired anaesthetist Jaap Haumann. When penetration takes place, the sharp end will slice the offending appendage.

The Anti-Rape Belt (also couldn’t find a site), made by a group of Swedish teenagers led by Nadja Björk. It requires two hands to undo.

Anti-Rape Underwear/Bra (once again), as made by a group of Indian students. Will deliver an electric shock when met with unwanted advances, as well as sounding an alarm.

Undercover Colours. Made by 4 male undergraduates at North Carolina U, they change colours when in contact with chemicals or drugs that cause unconsciousness. Used in case you’re wary that your drink has been roofied.

These are just tools to help, but in addition to being mindful of your situations and staying safe, they can help when the worst happens.

Stay safe.

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goddessofspunk

4 years ago

Don’t Let It Happen.

Mayor Bourgeoisie orders all the schools in the city to reopen.

Chloe, of course, will be staying home.

(Sabrina? Not so lucky.)

Adrien? Will also be staying home.

So will, it should be noted, every child of every rich family or

government official. (and let’s be honest–all the government officials are rich, and let’s be honest, every one of them is corrupt)

The rest of the children?

Expendable.

Ladybug stands up and calls for the Mayor to rescind his decision, to look at the facts, to face the facts. If the schools reopen now, in the middle of the pandemic, children will die. Their teachers will die. Their families will die.

The poor will die.

The Mayor refuses, and condemns Ladybug for her speech.

She’s expecting to have an ally in Chat Noir, but to her shock and dismay–

He’s on the mayor’s side.

He wants the schools to reopen. He insists that keeping kids at home is cruel and unfair. That kids should be in school with their friends.

Ladybug tries to make him see sense–

But he doesn’t believe her. He doesn’t believe that Covid19 is as dangerous as people say. No one in his family has been affected, no one that he knows has been affected.

Ladybug tells him, in tears, that her grandmother got it, and died just a week ago.

And Chat Noir, isntead of showing sympathy, just scoffs.

“She didn’t die of Covid19,” he says scathingly, “She probably had an underlying problem? Right? That’s what killed her, not the coronavirus. No one has died from the corona virus. Hospitals are lying about how many people are dying from it so they can get more money. It’s not lethal, more people die of the flu than this. More people die from car accidents than this. The schools need to reopen. It’s important for kids to be in real schools with their friends. Kids don’t get the virus, they’ll be fine.”

And all Marinette can do is just stare at her partner, the person she thought she knew, the person she thought she could trust.

Chat Noir publicly stands against her, stands with the mayor, stands with all the people who don’t care about anyone but themselves. With all the people who would like to see the poor children sick and dying if it means the parents are free to go back to work.

Chat Noir would rather see Marinette and all her friends forced into classrooms too small to social distance in, into hallways cramped and crowded and not well enough ventilated, he would rather they die and watch their friends die and their teachers die and their family members die, all because it’s ‘good for them’ to be with their friends, it’s ‘better than being stuck at home with no human interaction’.

Being dead is better than being home-schooled, as far as Chat Noir is concerned. And he’s pushing this ideology onto everyone. Forcing everyone to face the possibility of death, because as far as he is concerned, the corona virus isn’t fake, exactly, but it’s being blown out of proportion. It’s harmless. No one has died from the corona virus.

It doesn’t matter that Marinette tried to argue with him, tried to explain that if she pushed someone off a building, yes, it would be hitting the ground that killed them, but that doesn’t change the fact that if she hadn’t pushed them they wouldn’t have died.

Chat Noir doesn’t care that her grandmother died in the hospital, doesn’t care that she and her family haven’t even been able to hold a funeral for her, he doesn’t care.

He doesn’t care about anyone but himself.

But Marinette does. She care about her friends. She cares about her teachers. She cares about everyone that would be at risk if the schools are allowed to reopen.

So she does everything in her power to stop it from happening.

As Ladybug, she gives speeches, she goes on the Ladyblog, she goes on every news station that will take her, she goes on the radio, she tells everyone not to listen to the Mayor. She tells everyone to keep their kids home, where they are safe, she tells the teachers and principals and janitors and secretaries and every single person involved in the running of schools to shut the schools down before they can open.

As Marinette, she talks to her friends, she shares the videos and recordings of her speeches as Ladybug, she and her parents hang banners from every inch of their house, and they get a giant flag to fly on Marinette’s balcony, and Marinette creates face masks that she gives away for free with slogans like “don’t stay in school” and “reopen the government before schools” and “if it’s safe for me, why isn’t it safe for Mayor Bourgeoisie?”

With the combined charisma and leadership skills of her civilian identity and her hero identity, she manages to get almost everyone in her school organized through social media, and as a protest, they all refuse to sign in to any of their online courses for a week straight.

Including many of the teachers.

This is just a preview of what will happen if the schools are reopened.

This is just a preview of the strike that is to come if they are forced by their government that doesn’t care whether they live or die only if they can be exploited for profit to return to cramped, underfunded buildings that will guarantee a tragedy.

If the schools reopen, none of them will go.

If the schools reopen, it will just be an empty building.

If the schools reopen, none of them will return.

Some of the students and teachers refuse to be a part of the protest. Adrien is one of them, and he’s sent Marientte several private messages trying to convince her to stop, to change her mind, to realize how irrational she’s being.

She tells him about her grandmother, and outlines what is going to happen if all of the children in the city are forced into tiny buildings and tinier classrooms together.

And his response is almost identical to the response Chat Noir gave her. The same science-denying, compassionless refrain of ‘no one has died from the coronavirus, hospitals are lying so they can weasel extra money, she had underlying causes, she would have died anyways’.

She sends screenshots of the conversation to first Alya and Nino, and then to the rest of the class.

She blocks Adrien from all of her social media, and whatever feelings she had for him are smothered by the pit of black rage that boils in her blood whenever she remembers what he said, whenever she remembers what Chat Noir said, whenever she remembers what the Mayor said, whenever she remembers what anyone who is downplaying and laughing about the pandemic has said.

They only care about themselves.

They only care about money.

The Mayor presses forwards. Threatens the schools with retaliation if they don’t open. Mr. Damocles makes an announcement that the school will be reopening on shedule, and that masks will be provided to students.

Marinette’s parents receive in the mail, a waiver, declaring that, with their signature, they will place no blame on the school or the city of Marinette contracts Covid19 and gets sick or died.

Her father wants to tear it to pieces, but her mother stops him. And she calls up every news station that Ladybug has appears on. And she sends them pictures of the waiver, she tells them exactly what the schools are doing. Her father calls the parents of all of Marinette’s friends and tells them not to sign the waiver, he tells them not to give in to the threats from the school or the government.

The protest, which was supposed to lask a week, extends to two.

Marinette gets her hands on the waiver, and brings it up to her room so she and Tikki can read it together.

And the pit of rage deepens with every word she reads.

Marinette lives right across the street from her school.

Tikki is the one to say the words, “Let’s go, Marinette.”

And Marinette replies, “Tikki, spots on!”

And they go out.

As Ladybug.

First to Marinette’s school.

They make sure no one is inside.

They use her Lucky Charm, and get a vacuum. She turns it on.

And then they destroy the school.

Use the yoyo the slice through the concrete like it’s butter, like the yoyo is a lightsaber. They use her supernatural strength to turn that concrete into dust.

Every square inch of the building is reduced, very quickly, into dust. Dust which gets sucked up the instant it’s small enough into the Lucky Charm vacuum, so that it can’t get blown around by the wind and pose a danger to anyone or anything.

By the time she is done, there is nothing except different colored patches of tiled flooring to show that a building ever stood where her school used to be.

She turns the vacuum off.

She goes back to her house to detransform and retransform beore her timer counts down, and now that she is retransformed and Tikki re-fueled, they have no timer, though the Lucky Charm remains.

Then she moves onto the next school, a few blocks away.

Chat Noir shows up to stop her, enraged far beyond anything she would think reasonable or deserved, and it doesn’t take any effort at all to subdue him. She’s fought him too many times to ever lose to him. And without her there to stop him from making mistakes, he’s brash and bullheaded and wouldn’t know strategy if it hit him over the head. She tied him up with her yoyo and snaps his baton in half within thirty seconds flat.

And after thinking about it for a second, she reaches for his Miraculous.

Because Chat Noir is not the sort of person she can trust to help her, and this latest stunt is the straw the breaks the camel’s back. She could handle it when it was just her being affected, but now he’s putting the lives of everyone at risk, more blatantly than ever before, and that, that she cannot take.

For once in his life, Chat Noir does something intelligent.

Before she can grab his Miraculous to take it from him, he casts Cataclysm.

But unlike him, she isn’t on a timer. And he has no way of escaping.

It takes exactly five minutes for him to be forcibly transformed back, and yes, she’s surprised to see Adrien, but not as surprised or distress as she would have been if he hadn’t already shown his true colors. If all her friendly feelings towards him hadn’t already turned to burning hatred.

She takes the ring with ease, though he puts up a struggle, and the exhausted Plagg disappears into wherever Kwami go when their Miraculous isn’t being powered by a human soul.

She puts the ring in her yoyo rather than equipping it. Plagg deserves a chance to rest.

She leaves Adrien, crying, shouting, raging, there, in the ruins of a school whose name she doesn’t know, the sort of deathtrap he would sentence her and all of her friends and millions more kids they will never meet to, while he and his only friend, Chloe, had the privileged of staying home safe.

And she moves on to the next school.

And she doesn’t stop until every school in Paris is destroyed. And the only reason she stops when she gets to the invisible boundaries separating Paris from other nearby cities is that the sun is rising, and she’s tired, and she’s hungry.

She has time to go back home and sleep and eat.

The schools aren’t set to reopen for another three months.

The next day, there’s nothing to stop her from going out of Paris and destroying every school building she comes across, still with that first Lucky Charm, still with the ability to reset everything back to the way it was. But not yet.

And she finds, when she reaches the next city, that people have watched her, and taken her example to heart.

The civilians are already destroying the schools, so that they cannot be reopened. So that their children cannot be sacrificed and their blood used to oil the machine that is capitalism.

And it doesn’t take long before other cities, other countries, start doing the same.

Because buildings can be rebuilt.

But you cannot bring people back from the dead.

The only way to fix a tragedy is to prevent it from happening in the first place.

If schools are reopened before it is actually safe, children will die. Teachers will die. Children will infect their families. Everything will get worse.

Do not send your children to school.

Do not allow your school to be opened.

Do not go to school.

Don’t let it happen.

Protest. Strike. Graffiti the walls with inappropriate things that must be removed before the building can reopen. Throw every wrench you can into the cogs.

Do not sign the waiver they send you that says you will not hold the school or the city accountable if your child gets sick or dies.

Hold them accountable.

And don’t let it happen at all.

Do not get in the car when your parents try to drive you to school.

Do not get on the bus.

They can punish you, but you will be alive.

Organize with your friends, you classmates. Stage walk-outs. Refuse to enter the building.

Do not let the schools reopen in the middle of this fucking pandemic. If you are a teacher, principle, secretary, nurse, JANITOR, strike. If you are a student, protest. If you are a parent, keep your kids home.

WE have the power to stop this tragedy from happening.

All we have to do is use it.

Do what is right. Even if it’s scary. Even if you’ll get in trouble.

The alternative is worse.

We don’t have a superhero to save us. We only have ourselves. And we can stop it if we work together.

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goddessofspunk

4 years ago

Maribat Masterlist

It is past time that I made a masterlist of all of my Maribat fics, so here we are. I’ll try to update it regularly, and please let me know if the links don’t work.

Daminette December:

Just a Friend Blind Date Decorating Gaming Fire Tree Dancer AU Robin Hood AU Soulmate AU Fluff Snow Animals Death Power Swap AU If Only Hogwarts AU Baking Hot Chocolate Mistletoe Coffee Shop AU Damian’s Birthday Wedding Detectives AU Presents Christmas Domestic Hibernation Childhood Friends AU Children Rivals AU New Years Eve

Let the Sunshine In:

Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five

I didn’t so much fall in love - It kicked me in the face:

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five

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