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Reckless Rescuer

I literally just came up with this idea at midnight last night when I was just starting to go into fever dream mode so... This will be interesting. You asked to be tagged so here you go @justconfusedperiod!

Imagine that Marinette never became Ladybug.

Master Fu chose actual adults to go save Paris while Sabine and Tom gave Marinette combat training.

Despite not being a hero Marinette was still caught up in a lot of akuma attacks (Because Hawkmoth is a bitter ass) so she learned how to use everything and anything to her advantage.

Even though she's crafty Marinette still dies in akuma attacks and gets revived by the Miraculous Cure at the end of the day.

As sad as it is, she becomes used to dying.

That doesn't mean that she TRIES to get hurt during attacks, it just means that she expects her life to end one day because of an akuma or something and for her to not come back, so dying isn't a fear for her anymore.

She also builds a tolerance for pain during attacks where she doesn't die, but still gets very injured.

It's amazing how trauma can practically destroy someone's life while others are just so desensitized that it doesn't affect them anymore.

One day the Dupain-Chengs move to Gotham to both expand their business, and to get away from a certain magic fueled fashion disaster.

I mean, seriously.

You're supposed to be a designer but here you are walking around looking like a cardboard candy cane beige toothpick of a man.

Don't get me started on what the heck happened with Hawkmoth's costume.

What is that?

Are you wearing a silver condom on your head or what??

Anyways, Marinette attends Damian's school and they bond over being the only one's not overly worried about danger in certain situations.

At one point Damian thought that she might have been a hero or something but threw that thought away when he witnessed her somehow fall UP a staircase. (I've actually done this before. Surprisingly it's pretty fun.)

All was fine and dandy until one afternoon when they were walking to Neti's place after school to work on a project.

They were walking through a less populated part of the city and were passing a shoe store when two thugs held them at a gunpoint demanding for their cash.

The youngest Wayne was fully prepared to attack the men when Marinette started scolding them for being rude?

Marinette: Hey! You can't just do that! Do you know how rude it is to interrupt someone's conversation?! Apologize right and leave us alone right now OR ELSE.

The two men just looked at her for a moment before doubling over and bursting out in laughter.

After all, what can this tiny school girl do to hurt them?

The first guy calmed down and was about to threaten them again when all of a sudden a pink flat was thrown at his face.

Because of he was unprepared and because of the force behind the flying shoe, he was knocked over and fell to the floor with a thud.

The second guys turned to look at the girl who just threw her shoe at his partner when he was suddenly wacked in the face as well.

So there they were.

Two teenagers, one with no shoes on, in front of a show store with two thugs at their feet.

Truly a sight to behold.

Marinette turns to Damian and asks him for his shoes.

When he doesn't respond (he's in shock) Marinette just shrugs, turns around, and SMASHES HER ARM THROUGH THE GLASS WINDOW OF THE SHOE STORE TO GRAB A CROC AND CHUCK IT AT THE FIRST GUY AGAIN BECAUSE HE WAS GETTING UP.

She then turns to the second dude who was on his knees and says in a dark tone, "You better go and leave us alone before I get my hands on a pair of iceskates. Got it?"

He nods his head and scrambles to run away from the short girl with pigtails that just single handedly smashed her arm through glass and was somehow not wincing in pain from her many bleeding cuts and she threw shoes at them.

His partner frantically got to his feet and followed him.

After making sure that the two would-be-muggers are far away Mari turns to Damian and waves her still bleeding hand in front of his face.

"Heelllooooo? Anybody home?"

She then shakes his shoulders a bit.

Damian, now no longer in shock, starts freaking out about her injuries.

"oh...my...gosh....oh my gosh... oH MY GOSH YOU'RE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE!! OHMYGOSH THAT WAS SO RECKLESS OF YOU, YOU COULD HAVE DIED AND OH NO YOU JUST STRAIGHT UP BROKE A GLASS WINDOW WITH YOUR BARE HANDS!! YOU FUCKING IDIOT YOU'RE HURT! WE NEED TO GETYOUFIRSTAIDOHMYGOSH!!!"

She tries to get him to calm down but that honestly makes him freak out even more.

"HOW ARE YOU NOT REACTING TO THE PAIN OF CUTTING YOUR ARM WITH MULTIPLE PIECES OF GLASS?!? YOU FREAKING THREW SHOES AT THEM! SHOES! WHAT IF YOU FREAKING DIED FROM THAT?!?"

"Well that would make it the 2615th time."

"...."

"....."

"Excuse me but wHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT WOULD'VE BEEN THE 2615TH TIME YOU DIED?!??!??"

Marinette was trying to get him to breathe since he was almost on the verge of a panic attack when the owner of the shoe store came out with a first aid kit.

The elderly woman proceeded to patch up Marinette's arm while thanking her for scaring away the muggers.

"Those two just keep scaring the customers away so I cannot thank you dearie enough!"

"Oh, it was no problem ma'am. They really needed to learn some manners anyways!"

"They really are so rude aren't they. And there we go! Your arm is all bandaged up. I would be careful with it if I were you."

She old lady then turns to Damian who has calmed down a bit now that Marinette's arm is bandaged.

"You've got quite a wild girlfriend here. Be sure to watch out for her safety or else you're gonna lose her."

That causes the two teens faces to burn red.

"Oh no you've got it wrong. She's not my girlfriend although I do agree that I should start looking out far her health more." He turns to Marinette as he says the last bit.

She just replies with a sheepish smile and a shrug.

"She's definitely going to give me gray hairs early."

The store owner gave Marinette and Damian a knowing look before sending the two on their way.

On the walk to Marinette's house Damian kept scolding her for her brash decisions and worrying over her arm at the same time.

At one point Damian asked her if she could actually feel the pain from her cuts or not and she just replied with "I got injured a lot when I lived in Paris so I have a high pain tolerance. This isn't even the worst wound I've ever gotten."

Needless to say, that did not reassure Damian at all.

When they did reach their destination they ended up deciding to finish the project on another day to let Marinette's arm heal a bit.

He calls Alfred to pick him up and when faced with the butler's questioning stare he just replies with "Too much excitement for today."

Before the limo drove off Marinette ran outside to the car and handed Damian a bag full of pastries.

"Consider this an apology for making you freak out so much."

He nodded and took the bag but still told her "You're an idiot you know right?"

"Haha. Or so I've been told." She shrugs. "See you tomorrow in class if you're not too traumatized!"

"Tt. We live in Gotham. It's gonna take more than that to truly scar me. Although I have to say, that's the closest someone's gotten in a long time. Don't do it again."

"No promises!" Marinette yells as the limo drives off.

That night Damian got a nightmare filled with shoes.

Marinette is now known and feared throughout the more amateur criminal community.

True to her word, Marinette tried to reduce the amount of risky choices that she took.

I mean, there was that incident with the llamas, trumpets, and skateboards but we don't talk about that.

Her safety streak ended when Damian was kidnapped.

And by the Joker no less.

Ya, no.

She's not just gonna stand by while her friend litteraly gets kidnapped by a clown man thing when she could do something about it.

The Joker called the Waynes through a video chat and threatens the dump Damian into a pool filled with unidentified and possibly contaminated water until they give him half a million dollars.

And because it's a two way video chat and all of the Waynes (except Damian) are there they can't 'call the batfam' to save him.

Because they were all so busy panicking and Joker was busy laughing, no one but Damian noticed a dark silhouette sneaking around in the shadows.

The moment he saw them he immediately knew who it was.

'Oh no. ThaT'S MY IDIOT!!'

Marinette noticed Damian's panicked stare on her and just, gave him a thumbs up? Before going back into the darkness.

'Oh no oh no ohnoohnononono what's she doing?!' He thought to himself as he heard quiet shuffling in the shadows.

Going back to the screen, Bruce was about to send the money when all of a sudden a bright light was turned on from behind the Joker to the left.

And they weren't expecting what they saw.

There under the light was someone in a Barney the Dinosaur costume sitting in a rainbow bumper car with a radio and a bag filled with something strapped in the passenger side.

TrULy RaDiAnT.

The purple dino turned on the radio, (which was playing the Barney theme song) made eye contact with the clown, and promptly said "Beep beep bitch." in a robotic voice (there was a voice changer in the costume) before driving full speed at him.

At first the Joker tried to run away from the vehicle but for some reason the bumper car was extremely fast and RAN HIM OVER before turning around,

AND FUCKING DOING IT AGAIN!!

Double oof.

They did this around 12 times before the Joker managed to push up from under the bumper car at the perfect time.

Marinette did a backflip (dramatics are guaranteed) as she jumped out of the rainbow ride while simultaneously throwing the radio at the Joker at full force.

The Joker, not expecting that, was thrown against the base of a wall.

He got up just in time to see his attacker pull out a shoe from the bag and chuck it at his nuts.

*cue everyone either laughing at his pain or wincing in sympathy*

The Barney pulls out a sandal from the bag and throws it at his face and uses a black stiletto to pin the clown's arm tO THE FRIGGING WALL when he reaches to touch where the flip flop hit him.

(Is there a difference between sandals and flip flops?)

She then uses another stiletto (a red one this time) to pin his other arm and pulls out YET ANOTHER SHOE (a rainboot) to hit his face.

...again....

This time he gets knocked out though so there's that.

...

....

.....

The power of FOOTWEAR!!

The purple and green dinosaur goes to untie Damian while his family just watch through the screen with their jaws on the floor, still processing what the actual heck just happened.

They get snapped out of their shock when the youngest Wayne launches himself into the Barney's arms and starts rambling about how worried he was and did the store owner give you all those shoes and why the heck did you follow me here.

They don't know what they were expecting the person under the Barney costume to look like but they definitely weren't expecting a young girl with pigtails wearing stilts to come out.

Apparently she needed them to fit into the suit.

Damian: How did you even know I was in trouble?

Marinette: I sorta have a six sense for this kind of stuff. It's disappointing that I didn't get to use all of my amo though :(

Damian: Wait. You brought MORE shoes?

Marinette: Yep! And a couple other things as well. Like this trumpet case, and this bowling ball, and this duck themed alarm clock (I have one lol), and oh! Wait a moment would ya?

*walks over to the pool and dumps around 30 bath bombs in*

Marinette: There! Now this place will smell super nice!

Damian: Did you just dump a ton of bath bombs into a pool of unidentified liquid?

Marinette: Yep!

Damian: Let me rephrase that. Did you just dump a ton of bath bombs into a pool of possibly chemically contaminated water which could possibly have a bad reaction to the bath bombs which could possibly explode or just generally be the death of us?

Marinette: ........

Damian: ........

Marinette: ......

Damian: ........

Marinette: ....well it wouldn't be the FIRST time I-

Damian close to tears: yEs I KnOw PLeaSe StOp ReMinDiNg mE.

Ya so this was just a random idea I had and that I will probably not be adding to but y'all reading this are more than welcome to! If you do continue or make your own little spins on this please tag me! I would love to read them :D

Fuck. I’m Gay.

I’ve been reading a lot of ml salt fics lately (mainly @unmaskedagain which is a literal goldmine of saltiness). And getting into the Damienette ship. Marinette really does deserves better (Fuck Canon) but so does Adrien. He is not a “sidekick”. Chat Noir and Ladybug are partners = equals. So I decided why not write a fic where Adrien gets his own happy ending in the form of a grumpy assassin-turned-vigilante that loves animals more than people. 

Somewhat of a crack writing where creative liberties were definitely taken. 

.

.

.

Lila Rossi is a bitch and everyone knew it. Well, by everyone, Adrien means himself, his good-amazing-make-pastries-for-him friend Marinette, his maybe-not-really-sure friend Chloe and his-not-that-close-really-classmate Nathaniel. 

Yeah. It was a small number. 

But Lila is still a bitch. 

Keep reading

Check Out These Maribat Ideas Inspired Works!

So I know I've said multiple times to feel free to write any of the ideas in this book as long as you tell me when you publish it along with giving me credit. I also know many of you want to see these ides being written so I would like to draw your attention to other works inspired by this one!

On Wattpad we have "Maribat one shots" by ravenfrey, "The cat family of Paris/Gotham" by HiyafolksUvU and "Maribat One-Shots" by justnxncy.

On Ao3 there's "Random Oneshots" by Cindyquil_love.

Check them out!!

masterpost

My headcannon master list

Check out my Maribats Ideas story on Wattpad! It has all my headcannons in it! Also Maribats ideas is also on Ao3 here! Thanks everyone for the support! Like seriously I didn’t check tumblr for 3 days and I had over 100 notifications!

1 Damian’s Big Sister

2 My Big Brother Verse

3 Tim meets MDC

4 Diana in Paris

5 Audrey Bourgeois’s Intern

6  Pen Pals

7  Paris meet Selina Kyle

8 Hostage Situation

9 Catfamily (Part 2 of Paris meet Selina Kyle)

Also thanks @g-arya @novicevoice and @trashystar420 I promise to add you in Audrey Bourgeois Interns part 2!

Edit: Also feel free to use all ideas for stories fan art etc. Please do give me links because I want to see some of these things as stories! I take request too!

Check Out These Maribat Ideas Inspired Works!

Reblog if you actually give a shit about anyone who’s suicidal or depressed.

No one should scroll past this

Please reblog this. This legislation is horrifying.

Here is a petition you can sign. https://actionnetwork.org/petitions/tell-congress-dont-threaten-streamers-with-prison-time-keep-sopapipa-like-copyright-provisions-out-of-the-must-pass-spending-bill

actionnetwork.org

Tell Congress: don’t threaten streamers with prison time

A dangerous new bill could see streamers fined up to $30,000 and charged with felonies for posting memes or videos with copyrighted content.

Just had my nth conversation with someone about mask-wearing today - yet another well-intentioned moron who was like 

‘But the virus is gone now’ (it isn’t) 

‘But the mask is uncomfortable’ (ventilators are worse)

‘But you’re young, you won’t die’ (having this thing could impact my health for decades to come + it’s my responsability to protect those who’re more vulnerable than I am because that’s how society works)

‘But are you going to live in fear for the rest of your life’ (taking concrete safety measures actually helps me feel more in control and less worried)

‘But are you going to give up everything and stay inside like a rat’ (no, but I’m definitely going to decide what’s worth risking my health for, and shopping for bread rolls is not very high on my list of literally-to-die-for activities)

‘But what if they never find a vaccine’ (then we’ll get used to the situation just like we got used to a thousand other things like seat belts, bike helmets, and increasingly weird true crime podcasts). 

I know it’s tiring to have people call you paranoid all the time - but you’re right and they’re wrong. Check the news, keep a safe distance from others whenever possible and keep wearing your mask!

(Btw that thread is full of interesting stuff.)

Someone twisted this Jewish family’s menorah into the shape of a swastika

Naomi Ellis and her her husband Seth spent Friday morning — the morning after the sixth night of Hanukkah — trying to explain to their three young sons why someone had vandalized the menorah the family had put out on their yard by twisting the metal pieces into the shape of a swastika.

The Ellis family had only built the 7-foot-tall menorah on the front lawn of their home in Chandler, Arizona, because their sons, ages 5, 7 and 9, had asked their parents if the family could decorate their home like the neighbors did for Christmas, the Washington Post reported. Read more.

Master of Death (In Training)  Part 2

Sirius didn’t know what he was expecting when the suggestion was first made. The very air had held its breath as the Order voted, each nervously looking around, to see who had raised their hands in favor of summoning Death.

He hadn’t wanted to do it. After growing up with a dark family, and at the mercy of his mother’s ill-temper hexes, Sirius knew that trying this method would only cost them more than be able to help them. But Albus- it was so weird to now be old enough to call the headmaster by his first name. A part of him still felt like a Hogwarts student overstepping despite the fact he graduated three years ago- had insisted it was the best course of action.

With every new day, the Death Eaters rose in power and it was rapidly approaching a point where they could not be stopped. Already regular civilians were hiding away, slowly bowing to the control and the fear, and it wouldn’t be a far stretch to think no one would try to stop them.

People knew not to even use the name of the Death Eater’s leader, because any who did, died not long after.  That wasn’t a fear that could easily be overcome. The people were losing hope, and once it was all gone, the war would be over.

The Death Eaters will win.

What’s worse, was that Albus had claimed a prophecy had been made, which strongly indicated to his unborn grandson or the unborn child of his friends being the only thing to stop Voldemort. 

If they didn’t do the summons James, Lily, Frank, and Alice would have to go into hiding for who knows how many years. There wasn’t even a guarantee they will survive.   This plan could save them from such a fate, could allow their kids to grow up in a world of peace. 

Sirius knew this. He understood it. But he still didn’t want to summon Death, it was desperate and it may not even work.

But whatever the Order did, they did it together. The majority had ruled, and the summons took place a week later. 

The moment the being arrived it was quite clear it wasn’t human. Dressed in a metallic green cloak that hid half it’s facing, and body through human-shaped- and rather nicely too. Sirius could admit the being was fit. If it was a regular bloke he would climb him like a tree- seemed almost otherworldly, that its mere presence had Padfoot’s instincts screaming at him to run. 

Alice’s soft gasp of “What have we done” echoed every thought in Sirius’s head even as he leveled his wand in order to protect Lily. It was alarming that the first thing Death did upon arriving was single out the two pregnant ladies and even if they couldn’t see its eyes, Sirius knew it was looking right at the round stomachs.

His stomach was rolling so terribly he almost missed Albus offering his soul to Greater Power, who stood there with its arms filled with objects and could almost be called awkward if it wasn’t scaring the living daylights out of everything in the room. 

The outfit was sort of badass he could admit.

But the voice. Oh, the voice. 

It echoed as if though it spoke from some deep cave, and it overlapped with other voices. To his ears, he could pick up different baritones, as if though he wandered into a male bathroom and everyone choose to speak at once. It was the one real sign that whatever stood before him wasn’t a human. 

That’s why he, like an idiot, got the things attention when it pulled such a baffling action of checking its employee manual.

Thankfully it didn’t take offense and after a few flipped pages it names the price. 

Now here he was handing over his black socks to the being that was smiling wildly at them all. It’s perfectly white teeth gleaming in the darkened room, as it thanks everyone politely for their socks, making more than one person uneasy.

Albus had truely seen pained to part with his pair, more so then his own soul, and that made no sense at all to Sirius until Death frown when it touched them. “Oh, these were the last thing your sister gave you, her last “I love you” that she made with her own two hands. I’m sorry for taking them.” 

And it really did sound apologetic, but it made Albus tense like a wooden board and back away rapidly from the Great Power.

The being even folded all the socks with great care, leaving the objects it held hanging in the air as it casually did some quick laundry. Once the Order had handed over their clothing, it flipped through the silver binder again, visibly mouthing the words it read before it reached out a black-gloved hand to pat the socks, sending them away to who knows where.

Around him, a few of his friends gasp, and it wasn’t until Sirius’ socks vanished did he realize it was because they, like he, sense a deal with Death be sealed. As if his very soul had been stamped. He felt dirty, Sirius really wanted to take a bath.

“Alright.” Death said, placing his hands on its hips and spreading its stand. For a moment it seemed young, and though Sirius could not tell what age it actually was, he got the feeling it was somewhere between late teens, early twenties. Wasn’t it just bizarre to think he is almost the same-physical at least- age as Death?

 “So it says here, that you all hear me differently? To not be confusing my pronouns are he/him and you can call me Harry.”

Sirius’s brain melted. “James?”

“Yeah?”

“Did Death just tell me its preferred pronouns and call itself Harry?”

“Yeah.” James at least sound just as confused as he was so Sirius didn’t feel too bad about not understanding what in the world was going on with this summon.

Harry-actual- Death frowns at them  “What’s wrong with my name?”

“Nothing’s wrong with it” Lily is quick to assure, though she is most likely reconsidering the name she had picked out for his unborn godson. “It’s a lovely name.” 

Harry-Actual-Death smiled at her, it could have been a friendly one if it didn’t feel like his life candle was about to be blown out. Sirius shifted to put himself beside James and have Lily safely behind him. On his right, Remus quickly fell into formation blocking the redhead woman more, while Peter shifted to Lily’s side with a whimper.  “Thank you. I’m named after my grandpa on my mother’s side.”

No one knew what to say to that. 

It was Fabian, in a fit of madness or brilliance who knows, that managed to get words out of his mouth. “I’m sure he’s very proud his grandson took over the family business?”

Harry-Actual-Death looked stumped, looking like someone just tried to pull down his trousers or something then he beamed. “No one’s ever said something like that to me. Thank you.” 

Then he turns his head back to his binder flipping through it and reading a bit more. With a snap of its finger’s Fabian stumbled backward with a loud pain gasp turning deathly pale. Everyone froze while his brother bristled “What did you do to him!?”

Harry-Actual-Death turned its unseen eyes onto Gideon, who stood his ground despite the slight shake of his knees and smiled  “I took away the Dragon Pox in his lungs. Until our contract is terminated I can heal you all within some limitations. He would have died in a year and I don’t want to make Mrs. Weasley sad.”

 “My chest doesn’t hurt anymore.” Fabian breathes rubbing at his upper torso. He looks down at it with wonder in his eyes. “It’s…it’s been hurting for so long…I just…”

“Yeah about that.” Harry-Actual-Death jumps in. The rest of the Order swing their heads between the two groups unsure of who to look at, though none of them lower their wands. “I don’t understand why you didn’t get that checked out. If it hurt to take breathes you really should have gone to a healer.”

Gideon looks beyond pained “You were sick and you didn’t tell me?”

“We…we’re at war. I didn’t want to worry you more then you needed to when I realize I wasn’t going to live through it.” Fabian admits. Sirius is quite sure he is not the only one that wants to beat the idiot’s head in. How could he not have said anything!? His condition could have made everything that much more dangerous, what if he was in the middle of a fight and had an attack? He could have gotten himself and his brother killed!

 The twins suddenly freeze, as they do that weird thing they do when both of them think the same thoughts and then jerk their heads to Harry-Actual-Death. “Wait, what does Molly have to do with this? She’s not part of the Order, she didn’t sign a contract with you!”

Sirius could understand their worried, a new fear of what that hinted at, meant that his baby brother could have just been unwillingly added to the contract. He hadn’t talked to Regulus in a few years but that didn’t mean he wanted his brother in Death’s hand!

Harry-Actual-Death shifts around on his feet awkwardly, almost as if embarrassed. “She’s really nice, she gives warm hugs and she gave me cookies once.”

At the while Order’s wide eye bafflement Death says defensively.  “I was a kid back then and she didn’t know how much it meant to me. Plus she can be kind of scary when angry. I just don’t like seeing her upset.”

Sirius really, really, wanted to sleep now. Apparently, literal Death was scared of Molly Weasley. Tiny, plump, and motherly Molly Weasley. Also apparently being a grim reaper was a family business and Death could age while running around the mortal world in its childhood visiting people which made no sense whatsoever and- oh.

“You just inherited your position then?” Sirus asks forgetting himself.  “That’s why you’re a trainee. You really are new on the job.”

Harry-Actual-Death nods “Yes” 

“Then how are we supposed to win a war!” He doesn’t mean to sound so frustrated but Merlin’s beard they summoned Death, they were willing to give up their souls and they may have crossed more than one line, to end up with not prepared baby Death! 

Harry-Actual-Death smiles at him, in a way that makes ice settle inside of his whole body and Sirius’s frustration disappears for full out mind-numbing terror. It’s a little crocked but it weary and confident with just the touch of non-human that gives it that extra fear-inducing touch.  “Oh not to worry Sirius, I’ve killed enough. I can get the job done. The Death Eaters won’t win. You can’t cheat Death.”

The room falls into a tense silence everyone now more aware of what they have really done. A few minutes ago, Harry-Actual-Death, almost felt….well almost felt like a person, but now, they were once again reminded that this was a Great Power, the end. 

Death. 

“Y-you know my name” He manages to gasp out.

He gets a weary smile.  “Yes. I know every living thing’s name because I know when they stop living.”

Well, what the flying fuck do you say to that?  “That’s kind of hot”

Harry-Actual-Death’s face turns red. It’s hard to say if it’s from anger or flustered.  “Excuse me!?”

Sirius swings wild eyes to Remus begging for rescue all while cursing his loose tongue. He didn’t mean to say that, it was a reflex, born of years of sassing people and flirting with attractive blokes. His friend is quick to step forward.  “Should we focus on how to stop the Death Eaters now?”

“Um, yeah, ugh sure” Harry-Actual-Death stutters in that strange multiple voices “Death Eaters. Got to go and….Death them. Yup.”

He moves it cloaked head to the whole room asking at large.  “You all just wanted that right? Stopping the war, beat Voldemort, and making sure Neville and Harry grow up safe?”

Alice and Lily jerk in shock at mention of their kids but everyone nods or mumble agreement. Harry-Actual-Death accepts this with shuffling feet, grabbing the floating items and hastily bids them a farewell.

He bleeds into shadows that race across the room and disappears. But Sirius did not miss how he could feel Harry-Actual-Death’s gaze on him, his face a healthy red, and shy nervous little shifts on his feet right before he departed and he thinks with one startling moment of what that could mean.

As always James, his best mate who knows what he is always thinking figures it out and blurts. “Padfoot I think Death has a crush on you. How do you feel about that?”

“I….I’m a little flattered actually.”  How metal is it to say Death has a crush on you?  “Also scared Prongs. Very, very, scared.”

Broke : Alfred was Duusu's former user.

Woke : Alfred was Sass's former user.

Just hear me out.

Isn't it suspicious, how Alfred just seems to know everything.

How he predicts the outcome of a situation before it happens.

How he's always so intuitive about every single thing?

If Marinette gets extremely cold in the winter and Adrian can purr, Alfred can be a fricking half pychic. f i g h t m e