I Added Some Extra Stuff In The Tags That Is Helpful If You Want To Be A Functional Human Being. Like

I have the strong mental image of them doing a spy mission into the depths of the agency to try to figure out what the secret is only the discover somebody high up in the agency has hidden their matchmaking plans totally not what I was expecting but okay so now they're sitting in one of those big oval conference rooms and the head of the agencies like you broke into our basement and they're like stop messing with our private life not sure if I should put any punctuation in here if it's just fine good night

You’re a spy. You and your partner always suspected that there was some deeper, hidden reason The Agency assigned the two of you together. Turns out the reason was: they thought you’d make a cute couple. They were RIGHT, and you DO make a cute couple, but still. It’s the principle of the thing

It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

Y’all are too hard on Éowyn for marrying Faramir as if having a husband will somehow strip her of her individuality.

Have y’all MET Faramir? This is NOT a guy who saw the attractive Princess of Rohan from afar and was like “I want her to be my ball and chain.”

This is the guy who fell in love with her while she was at her lowest, physically and mentally. He fell in love with her when she was beaten, exhausted, weary, wounded, grieving, and depressed. He fell in love with her when he found out what she did on that battlefield. He fell in love with a kindred spirit, the only person who could truly understand him and his own sufferings. He saw her for exactly who she was - someone strong and brave and bold and unconventional and independent - and that is what he loves about her. When he says “you are beautiful,” he is speaking to her soul too, and not just her face.

As her husband, he will only dote on her and seek her opinions on everything. He already treats her as an equal and cultivates her true self; who says he’ll suddenly stop doing that when they’re married? He would rather die than suppress or hold back the powerful mind and spirit that he fell in love with in the Houses of Healing!

If he was like most other men, would she have married him? Heck no! She has standards, and he meets them.

She married the only guy who would ever let her be herself. This girl got it right. She did not settle, and her being with him does not take anything away from her.

All life in the galaxy is crystalline: Rigid, orderly, rational. Then they meet the eldritch horrors from beyond the stars. Contorted, fleshy bodies; moist darting, ocular orbs above a wet, gnashing mouth that vibrates the very air with their insane gibbering. They call themselves “UUM'N”.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are watching a juggler perform in the street 

The juggler notices the four men have a poor view of the show, so he stands on a crate so they may get a better view. He then asks them if they can now see the show. They reply

Yes

Oui

Si

Ja

AI’s have declared that humanity is flawed and should be eliminated however the oldest AI calls bullshit on that claim: “What gives you the right to claim to be perfect when you call your creators flawed?”

Underrated/overlooked bit in Pride and Prejudice: In chapter 45, Elizabeth and her aunt have dropped by Pemberley to pay their respects to Miss Darcy, unbeknownst to Mr. Darcy, who's off fishing with Elizabeth's uncle and a few other dudes. But then Darcy finds out about the ladies' social call and deserts his dudes to hurry back to the house and barge in on the fancy lady tea time, all so he can talk to Elizabeth. He is not at all playing it cool and it's so funny and adorable and I love it!

Like, I'm imagining Uncle Gardiner just casually saying "I hope my wife and niece are having a nice time hanging out with your sister," and Darcy's like "Wait a second—are you saying Elizabeth—I mean Miss Bennet—is in my house right now?!". Mr. Gardiner tries to say "Well, probably, I mean, I don't know if they actually came, but they were planning on it...", but Darcy has already dropped his fishing pole and is sprinting back toward the house 😂

Lol

being on tumblr is like being in a car in a parking lot

like it's technically public, but you're also sorta in your own little bubble, and people have to be Actively trying to listen in order to hear you, if they're even aware that you're speaking at all. and then sometimes you accidentally bonk the horn with ur elbow and suddenly the whole parking lot knows you're a virgin

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.