When the Ao3 addiction gets so bad you start dreaming of fics getting updates π
(In your mortal radi au) Does pk miss the white lady, did he go to the garden to see/serch her ?
I know that she isn't the most important character but still....
Does he even love her anymore ?
These are some good questions, and they actually got me thinking a lot. I didn't really include the White Lady in my story or touch on her much. I did have one comic idea with her but it got cut to keep the story from veering off track.
Now that I'm done, though.... This is a very fascinating question.
(5 days later)
Slams paper on table
I am ill for weeks after I am pulled back into reality. Something about all my pieces not quite being together means I take longer to recover than She did. She tells me that it is fine, that I need to recover my strength so I can work. We still have many graves yet to dig. She will shoulder the burden for this little while.
I am told my children are informed of my new existence, though none have visited. And I do not leave to visit them. Two of them terrify me, though for vastly different reasons, and the thought of meeting again with my daughter troubles me.
When I can finally get out of bed without assistance, I do not go see her, however. I go see my Lady.
It is hard navigating without being everywhere at once. I know the path to my Lady's garden intimately, but the path is far more difficult than I recall. Greenpath, surely, has had no caretakers, so runs rampant with overgrowth. The thorns catch on my robe and tear at my skin.
I bleed something dark and smokey.
I try not to think about it too much.
My Lady's branches spill out above the entrance to her hideaway. The corpse of brave Dryya. Once a friend, now only a carcass decorating my Lady's garden. Old blood coats her blade and shell. Even in death, she seems stalwart.
I am stalling.
The White Lady stirs as I enter her chamber. Her eyes, once the purest blue eyes I have ever seen, are clouded now. She wears age like a shawl, it weighs on her shoulders and bunches up around her neck. Her face, once pale and youthful, now is tired and wrinkled. Yet, there is a beauty there of which I could never seem to word. A thousand poets could never do her justice. I should know, I have had them try.
"Child? Is that you again?" Her voice is as I recalled, and a sharp pain creases my soul. I will never again be able to call back to her.
She has bound herself, so I move forward until I am right under her. Still, her cloudy eyes do not recognize me at first, and I cannot blame her for it. Not for the first time, I wish the vessel had left me my voice. There are so many things I could say to her, so many words that now I will never be able to reach.
My Lady's eyes finally find my hollow sockets, and she gasps. It is a small thing, barely audible, but in the silence of our meeting I know to look for it. There is a moment between us of unspeakable agony.
"You." The Pale Queen finally breathes the world, and it breaks the aching quiet.
I put a hand on her bindings, 'Me' I wish I could say.
There are so many words I wish I could say. There is so much between us. Good and bad in equal measure. It has been years since we have been face to face, and I thought it would never again happen. I find myself unprepared for this moment.
She does not need my reply. My Lady knows me better than I know myself sometimes. She smiles, though it never quite reaches her eyes.
"You are smaller than I remember."
I laugh, as best I can laugh anyways. I point to her, and gesture that it is perhaps she who has grown taller. It takes her a moment to understand, but the chuckle I earn fills what is left of my soul with joy.
"Perhaps." She concedes, "I have grown much, and still have much to grow still."
Her eyes dim suddenly at that, and she looks around.
"Where is our child?" She asks at last, voice soft and weathered.
I tell her, as best I can, that I do not know. That I came to see her. I expect this to lift her spirits. It does not.
"Did you see this outcome?" She asks.
I pause for a moment. There is much to that question that I do not know. In part, it is hard to remember what it was like. How did I describe it to my daughter? Like a great root that I scuttled across, observing paths unseen to most.
I shake my head. It is too slow and uncertain for my own liking. But it is as much of the truth as I can muster.
There is a long silence that follows. I have gotten used to those, especially with Her. She rarely talks to me at all. So I wait for my Lady's response with all the patience that I have learned.
"Was it worth it?"
Her voice is so soft when she speaks, like it could crack under the gentlest of touches. Delicate, and heartbroken. With four words I can feel what little ground we shared start to shatter.
"Was any of this worth it, I wonder?" She continues, "I do not think I know anymore."
And there is a gap between us. An aching maw of a chasm that threatens to swallow us whole. I want to cross it. I want to reassure her that we had done our best, that we were not to blame.
Yet the words I was once so masterful with are gone now. The voice I would use to soothe and heal her pain now is no more. So there is silence.
Anything I would say to her would be a lie, anyways.
Have some looooooooooooong art π
He is now in my house! How do I get rid of him? I think I saw his pupil move...
Beetlejuice pls π
Me begging u to say my name (3 times)
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Little pale boy caught on fire
Just a little heads up of what my blog will look like in the next few days
Little bit of a gamer (hollow Knight my beloved)Please be patient with my writings, I am French and i have dyslexia.He/they/it
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