Man Therapy Isn’t Enough. I Need To Crash Out Like Fitz Vacker Does.

midwestern pope before gta 6

Regarding the Funtime Blueprints

I saw the blueprints first with the understanding of what the intention was, but if you did not have context, what would it look like to you? I'm really struggling to figure out my own, so I wanted to see what others thought.

I hope all the fucks were funny as intended and not aggressive sounding.

Me when

dropping this INSANE piece of personal trauma mid-convo and then not elaborating???? is he crazy

I think Ford and I would get along like a house on fire, but I just like Stanley's good heart more than Stanford's intelligence

Ford is bright and quick but Stan is soft and warm

Reblog for sample size and also tell me why in the tags. I want violence. I want discourse. I want bloodshed

So so SO fucking obsessed with Unwound Future from Claire's perspective (spoilers for all of this game):

Imagine you're a scientist. You have a wonderful dorky boyfriend who's recently been appointed professor of archeology, you have an ass kicking job at figuring out time travel and you decide to give your boyfriend a bit of a fancy silk hat to celebrate his achievement, because you think it's appropriate for his new fancy position.

You go to work, today you're testing out the the time machine, but things go wrong. Despite that fact, you're transported through time before the explosion can hit you... To ten years in the future.

This is AMAZING at first. The time machine worked, your team's work achieved something previously thought impossible––

And then you discover you're dead. Not only are you dead, your death messed up several people's lives SO BAD that they've never gotten over it. One of those people is the guy you worked with in the lab who had a crush on you. He's built an entire fake version of london underneath the real one in order to trick scientists to think they're in the future JUST so he can get them to build a time machine to go back in time to save you.

You talk to him, reveal who you are, and BEG him to fucking stop, but this only makes him more determined. Shit.

He also discovers you will eventually return back to the time of the explosion, so you have to very quickly make peace with your own death.

You ALSO discover that Dimitri kidnapped your other ex-lab partner to here (who became the prime minister in the meantime somehow???) Since apparently the guy had been pushing to test the time machine so much because he'd made a deal with a powerful company and decided to risk your life over not having results to show them.

You feel... betrayed. But you still don't think it was right to exact this revenge.

Also also, this guy who was a kid when the explosion happened and lost his parents is here and is suspiciously funding everything while smirking evilly, and you really don't trust him even if Dimitri does.

Then you discover, not only are they tricking those scientists into thinking they're in the future, they're also tricking YOUR BOYFRIEND into thinking he's in the future, some future where an evil version of him is creating the time machine; because YES, he's here, and he's somehow found himself at the center of solving this entire mystery.

You discover several new things about your boyfriend:

He's some sort of detective on the side now apparently. Everyone keeps talking about all those mysteries he solved and he's weirdly familiar with the officer from scotland yard who is also here for some reason.

He has kids now? One of them is a boy called Luke and that suspicious guy is pretending to be a future version of him. The other is a girl named flora. They both look nothing like him and are above the age of nine so you assume they're adopted.

He has very much taken your comment about being a gentleman to heart because he lives by it, despite it just being a suggestion you made in the moment. You realize Luke isn't his kid but just his apprentice who's there to learn about how to become a gentleman too. Everything about it is as heartwarming as it concerns you.

He hasn't taken that hat off. Basically ever. And it's also in pristine condition. Which is pretty cute, because he was so hesitant about wearing it at first, but it also kind of HURTS how much he cares. It's almost painful to think about the fact he spent ten years in your absence living exactly how he thinks you would want him to.

He's definitely incredibly traumatized by your death. You can tell, because between the two times you walk past him and his apprentice, he freezes up like your mere presence alone is causing him flashbacks. You decide to maybe not tell him you're you when push comes to shove and you need his help.

He has an archnemesis? Apparently Paul from university also had a crush on you and was so mad about you dating Hershel he swore vengeance. He's also a master of disguise now. You have to reevaluate your own self image and start wondering how many more people had crushes on you you didn't know about.

Eventually you help your boyfriend escape from being gunned down and he asks who you are and you just make up something about being your own estranged sister Celeste who you never told him about. He somehow buys it, and you get the feeling he's had to accept much stranger facts.

You two meet back at The Thames Arms, and within a couple of minutes he relays everything he's discovered about the truth of the matter to everyone in the room. You're starting to understand that thing about the mystery-solving a little more.

That suspicious guy (his real name is Clive) kidnaps your boyfriend's adopted daughter with him onto a gigantic moving fortress he's been building and of course your boyfriend is gonna want to rescue her. Him and his apprentice drive up there in his car, and you somehow manage to convince Paul to let you use his helicopter to follow them.

He breaks out his daughter, you meet him and head to the heart of the fortress to shut it down but the prime minister's heartbeat is attached to it and if it stops the fortress self-destructs. You replace him with the pocket watch your boyfriend gave you (you make up something about finding it amongst your sister's old possessions when he looks at you weird) and all of you haul ass out of there with the prime minister.

Clive is close to dying though, and you convince your boyfriend to let you go back for him because you feel terrible about the experiment you partook in taking his family from him. It was a big mistake to try and mess with the flow of time, in the end.

Everyone is brought back to safety. It's over, finally... No more suffering in your name.

Just in time, too. You can feel the minutes you have left slipping away.

Your boyfriend is informed that you are, in fact, you, and you can barely hold yourself together.

The two of you move to somewhere less crowded and you're forced to explain to him that you can't stay, and kiss him before you say goodbye.

Your boyfriend, in a move that stuns you quite thoroughly, ABSOLUTELY refuses to say goodbye to you. In fact, he yells that he won't fucking do it. You have never seen him this passionate or broken up about anything, and it dawns on you that he's pushed all of this down for years. It also dawns on you just HOW much he loves you. You can barely hold back your tears but you want to be strong for him, you don't want his last memory of you to be of you bawling. The both of you grieve the future together you lost for a few moments longer, and you try to encourage him as much as you can before eventually your time is up.

You turn the corner so he isn't forced to see it happen.

Inspector Grosky. Then we'd adopt Emmy.

If you had to marry a professor layton character who would it be?

*Holds him gently*

Hunting a cult? Eh. Hunting a cult for generations? I'm invested now!

Playing the Last Specter(!!!!!) and I am so concerned for Brock. Buddy? It's gonna be okay? But also please go to therapy because laughing hysterically like this isn't healthy, bud.

Star Wars prompt: Rebels with nothing to lose.

Rebel/Group of Rebels get caught in a fight with Darth Vader. Considering the casualty rates of the Emperor's right hand man (100% dead), they start pulling things outta their ass. Yeah, they're shooting at him, but also one guy just hauls ass and throws a flash-bang at Vader. Another guy comes up from behind and YANKS on Vader's cape (Edna Mode: NO CAPES). One manages to get the cape snagged on a chain on a speeder and puts a brick on the gas pedal. Someone finds a Star Wars Taser and shoots.

These guys know they are already dead, so why not throw everything they got? Throw helmets, throw boots, who cares? not them.

Bonus points if somehow, something works, and the Rebels are able to live another day. This comes at a cost with a high-ass bounty on their head, but they very much get to keep their heads that day, so who cares?

Bonus-bonus points if Luke/Leia are in the group, pre or post anyone (Luke, Leia, Vader) finding out. I think the funniest combo is Luke not knowing and Vader knowing. Dude gets whaled on by his son and can hardly do shit about it.