Sometimes I Think Ive Made Peace With Being Permanently Disabled & Feel Like Even Tho It Sucks I Can

I could not agree more! You get it. Sometimes (often I feel) being disabled does make you a burden and that's okay. There should be nothing wrong or shameful about that - it is simply stating facts and acknowledging reality.

as much as i appreciate the intent of the “being disabled doesn’t make you a burden” type posts, i don’t really agree. a lot of times being disabled DOES make you a burden

& i think that maybe we should try to shift focus to the fact that even if you’re a huge burden on society and can contribute absolutely nothing, you’re still a human being who deserves to exist.

like. there’s nothing morally wrong with being a burden on other people. you aren’t a bad person for needing to rely on others. you’re allowed to be a burden & disabled people who are burdens on others, i love you

pick your fighter

ukraine: edgy vampire sets whole stage on fire

spain: 3 month anniversary date singing to all of europe

solvenia: pink hair and her gal pals

lithuania: no please no not a ballad

austria: mmmmm heart eyes #bae

estonia: opera? really? okay rainbow dress, they did get the memo after all!

norway: not fairytale (2009)

portugal: they're gay and in love for sure

uk: british katy perry, got sabotaged, liked her more because of it

serbia: cult leader and sister wives feat. Albert Einstein on the pipe

germany: ballad but forgivable because its totes emosh

albania: adam lambert is that you? tattoos so good, china banned them

france: je suis bored

czech republic: backpack boy, sounds like talk dirty to me?

denmark: this viking ballad got me sailing straight to valhalla

australia: shE DOESNT EVEN GO HERE

finland: third time lucky saara?

bulgaria: washed up boyband???

moldova: no led staging? moldova don't need it

sweden: red lights I think? I skipped out for a toilet break lol

hungary: screaming into the void #mood

israel: the birdie song but new and improved (feat. body positivity)

netherlands: america? what are you doing here?

ireland: beautiful gay love story, don't hate us cause you ain't us China xox

cyprus: absolute banger, looks like Queen Bey

italy: absolute tune, powerful lyrics, anti-terrorist

Witch Of The Ocean Deep’s Teensy Giveaway!

Hello, everyone! In order to give back, I’m hosting a little sea-witch-y giveaway in time for Samhain! Everything in it is super small so I thought this would be really fun. 

This includes: 

Little Book of Crystals

Witchy Kidrobot Enamel Pin

Moon Phases Patch (also could be used as a bookmark)

Four White Scalloped Seashells

Three Pretty Pointy Seashells

One Tumbled Rose Quartz

One Tumbled Amethyst

One Raw Amethyst

One Broken-Off Piece of a Sand Dollar

Three Raw Black Tourmaline

Two Clear Quartz

Two Pieces of Sea Glass

Three Lovely Sea-Toned Rocks

One Blue Wire-Wrapped Pendulum

Four Tiny Jars

One Small Jar of 100% Pure Bee Pollen (If you have any allergies to bees, please research this product before use in spells and do not ingest. Using gloves would be a good idea.)

Here’s the rules!

You must be following me.

No giveaway blogs, please.

Only 16 years and up. Any minors need their parent’s permission first!

You must be comfortable with giving me your name and address. 

Only reblogs count.  Do not tag this as ‘giveaway’.

Type 110808 in the tags so I know you read the rules.

If you have a bee allergy, re-read the italics.

Have fun! 

I will contact the winner on Samhain or October 31st! Good luck, everyone! 

It's crazy how you have to choose to be different and then once you do it's not even over - you have to choose it again and again forever and yes one day it will feel so natural you don't even notice it anymore but there is no short cut to there, just willpower and repetition

Just made an account on Medium so I could read this. Made it about 1/3 through and I'm absolutely hooked and excited to finish it!! But first, time for a nap.

For the longest time, I have had trouble understanding FND - specifically whether it's just a shitty diagnosis made up by the medical system to gaslight people or if it's a genuine medical condition. This essay is rly helpful and has already broadened my understanding. It's incredibly well written, particularly bc of the extremely thorough research it's a result of

Medium

Cadenza for Fractured Consciousness

A Personal History of the World’s Most Misunderstood Illness

I am one of the most medically examined people in North America. For over a decade, no one could explain why I lost my ability to walk, speak, and use my hands. Why the lightning-like headaches? Why the ringing in my ears? Test after test came back negative. Doctors thought I might have a genetic abnormality no one's ever seen before, or a condition so rare that it had previously escaped medical classification. Then I got accepted to the top undiagnosed disease research program in the world, and they told me the only diagnosis I was unprepared to hear: it was Functional Neurological Disorder (FND), a much-misunderstood condition which was once known as Conversion Disorder, and before that, as Hysteria. And that was only the beginning of things getting weird. The essay above is the product of three years of research into the history, neuroscience, and politics of FND. It touches on the many medical failures that define the history of the disorder, the pervasive sexism and lazy mind-body dualism that prevented scholars from seeing it clearly, and why - finally - a better understanding may be at hand, with revolutionary implications for how we understand human consciousness and the experience of having a body.

FND fucked my life up. This is my reply. Thanks for reading.

TW sleep deprivation, derealisation, depersonalisation, hallucinations, suicidal thoughts

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Can we talk about the effects of spending all of your formative years dealing with chronic pain? About what comes with it besides "just" the pain?

I used to routinely go days without sleeping. And I don't mean the way some people say they "didn't sleep at all last night" when actually they did sleep 2 hours. I mean no sleep at all for 3-4 ish days, I'm not sure bc my memories from that time are fuzzy (wonder why). The pain kept me up night after night. And it wasn't until the overwhelming urge to sleep finally won over the pain that I would be able to sleep.

Do you know what happens when you go without sleep for too long?

At first, you're just more tired than usual, it gets harder to concentrate, you get snappy easier. Then it'll feel like everything is too loud or slightly shushed like you're in a bubble, it's hard to focus your eyes properly, the ground and the walls get squiggly. Obviously, the pain you already have gets exponentially worse but also different, heavier.

If you are awake still, you'll start to have micro sleeps. That's when your brain shuts down briefly for a micro second while you're awake bc it fucking needs to sleep. Time feels weird, stretching and shrinking in on itself. It won't feel real. You won't feel real. You'll forget basic shit like your own name.

It varies from person to person how long you have to go without sleep before the visual and auditory hallucinations start. But if you're awake for long enough, they will start. Whispers of your name when you're alone, songs playing when there's no music on, shadow people in your peripheral vision.

Maybe you'll think about killing yourself just to make it stop. Maybe you don't even think killing yourself would mean death, but instead you belive you'll wake up and everything will be back to normal. Your ability to reason, to think logically will twist.

Eventually, the urge to sleep will be greater than the pain and finally you will get to rest.

I understand all too well why sleep deprivation is used as torture.

In what universe does experiencing this countless of times when you're a literal teenager not affect you when you're an adult. Even when it doesn't happen anymore bc of semi proper pain management and meds to sleep. It haunts me. Still.

Elaborate fantasies of owning a wheelchair save me.

Elaborate fantasies of owning a wheelchair?

Save me elaborate fantasies of owning a wheelchair.