Cant Stop Thinking About This

taking your own advice is so hard. it’s “make bad art” this and “kill your perfectionism” that until i sit down with an idea i like. the i have to execute it perfectly Or Else

How does this keep happening to me

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me, 1992

dir. David Lynch

May I add, I always found weird equalling the RCM with (what I assume is) the American police system, because such an analogy undermines the colonial aspect that pervades the writing of Disco Elysium. The RCM serves as a police body, of course, but it is still in its foundation a Citizens Militia, an (ostensibly) local organization that emerges in the category 5 catasthrope that is the occupation of Revachol by foreign forces. The RCM is formed because no one, (and could be argued, as is done in Disco Elysium!!! not even the RCM itself), can restore a modicum of order in Revachol. It is not a police body that emerges out of a state machinery with the highest security expenditure in the world.

I’ve always disliked the ACAB in the context of DE discourse because I feel it obfuscates motivations of characters like Kim, who voluntarily choose to join the RCM. A man who wears bomber jackets relics of a revolutionary past, yet sympathizes with moralist rhethoric. Kim is not only proudly Revacholian, he also believes in the RCM despite its multiple shortcomings. At the same time Kim suffers more than most the chauvinistic discrimination that usually pervades police bodies. Such contradictory allegiances only make sense in the context of the colonial condition of Kim and of the city of Revachol.

“ACAB”, “the only happy ending should be leaving the RMC”, “you’re a terrible person if you draw/write these characters enjoying the sort of corrupt cop stuff that they canonically do in-game” discourse is killing meeee

God forbid you don’t performatively remind everyone that you do hate cops, actually; and god forbid that you don’t find that True Healing and Happiness for them can only be achieved by leaving the force.

Metas could be written about how Kim and Harry are actually deeply flawed people who enjoy wielding some form of authority in a way that they actually feel best working as cops

(is it healthy? no. is it Good™? no. Is it true to their character? this is where media interpretation comes in)

Metas could be written about how that doesn’t mean ACAB isn’t real, that just means they’re the kind of shitheads (that we, the players, still love) who enjoy being cops

Metas could be written questioning the amount they’d have to change to adapt to a life as civilians, how much and what kind of a push they’d need to go for it,  if it’s change they could even manage, if they could financially survive it, if they could find fulfillment in any other career, at their age

But no. Why waste time on that instead of easy slogans. I mean, we like them, these characters, and we don’t want to feel guilty for liking them, because what does it say about us, then, that we like flawed cops?

(nothing it says nothing it says we played a good nuanced extremely well-written game that skillfully made us like the sort of character whose past actions include sequestering some woman and beating a dude into disability. that’s what it says. i’d even argue that discomfort is part of the point)

GIRLS IN MY PHONE. WE CAN DO IT

pitter patter putter patter *you look down and see this*

i really want to go on a bender with whoever wrote that scene in Su-zakana

i think this is precisely why 'fire walk with me is so powerful':

"Your Laura has dissapeared. It's just me now" we see a her whisper tearfully to James Hurley. She knows. She knows she's fizzling out, not like a match blowing off, but like a supernova, Laura is screaming, blowing up into the void with incandescent fury, but she's too far from us to see. Like a dying star, the light that reaches us is no longer tied to it's source, it's vanished, we're only left with the remains

laura palmer is such an insane character it’s like her absence is more important than her presence and she doesn’t exist it’s only this reflection of her that other people tell and the person that they want her to be the person she’s incapable of being like there is no story without her but there is no story with her either