Jackie’s Box Fandom Never Rests

Rating band names based on their accuracy:

(I keep updating this list so check back later)

The Beatles: 3/10. None of these people are beetles, they’re just a bunch of fruity guys from Liverpool with matching haircuts

(Edit: changed from 0/10 to 3/10 because John Lennon beat his wife)

Pink Floyd: 4/10. There is not a single person named Floyd in the band, but some of the members do arguably look kinda pink

Nirvana: 10/10. Getting high and listening to Nirvana is roughly what I imagine actual nirvana to be like

Foo Fighters: either 0/10 or 10/10. I have never seen foo in real life so either they’re pretending to fight a problem that doesn’t exist or they’re doing an absolutely fantastic job of fighting it

The Eagles: 0/10. Same as the Beatles, there is not a single eagle in this band. The name is misleading and we have all been lied to

Queen: 6/10. Partial points for Freddie Mercury

Led Zeppelin: 0/10. I don’t think any of these guys have ever even seen a zeppelin, let alone one made of lead. A lead balloon would crash faster than my hopes and dreams

The Rolling Stones: 3/10. There is not a single stone in this band. Some points added because I’m pretty sure they rolled quite a few

U2: 0/10. Despite what the name says, I am not a member of this band

Metallica: 9/10. Naming a metal band “Metallica” is like naming your dog “doggy”

Red Hot Chili Peppers: 2/10. These guys are not chili peppers. They’re not even that hot, let alone red hot

Guns N’ Roses: 0/10. How the fuck could a gun or a flower play music

Backstreet Boys: ?/10. Depends entirely on their current given location

Simon and Garfunkel: 10/10. No notes

The Doors: 1/10. Jim Morrison is kinda shaped like a door tho

Chicago: 4/10. The number of people in this band does not come even remotely close to the population of Chicago. Points added because it originated in Chicago

Earth, wind, and fire: 2/10. This is even more innacurate than Chicago. Points added because wind instruments were often used

Def Leppard: 3/10. There is not a single leopard in this band. Some of the members are probably kinda deaf by now tho

The Beach Boys: ?/10. Accuracy depends entirely on location

The Black Eyed Peas: 6/10. Not sure what the hell an ‘eyed pea’ is but the black part is pretty accurate

Imagine Dragons: ?/10. Depends entirely on whether or not they’re thinking about dragons.

Cage the Elephant: 1/10. Why would you do that. Let the elephant go

Green Day: 0/10. They’re not even green

The Police: 0/10. There is not a single cop in this band

KISS: 5/10. I’m sure they probably kissed sometimes

The Monkees: 0/10. Are you fucking kidding me

We Butter the Bread with Butter: 8/10. I can’t verify this but I have no reason to suspect that they’d lie. Butter seems like the most logical thing to butter bread with

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard: 0/10. I got really excited about the concept of a lizard wizard only to be let down. My disappointment is immeasurable

They Might Be Giants: 5/10. I googled everyone in this band’s height, the tallest guy’s only 6’1 so I wouldn’t exactly consider him a giant. Then again, I can’t really argue because the claim was only that they MIGHT be giants

The Presidents of the United States of America: 2/10. None of these people are Joe Biden nor are any of them former presidents. This is incredibly misleading. I’m pretty sure “Lump” was written about my first girlfriend tho so I’ll give them a point or two

Gorillaz: 2/10 Not quite but we’re kinda close genetically so I’ll give them partial credit

The Killers: ?/10. I have no way of verifying if they’ve actually killed before but the fact that they’re not in prison tells me probably not

The Offspring: 10/10. These guys are definitely somebody’s offspring

Arctic Monkeys: 1/10. They are neither monkeys nor are they from the arctic

Thirty Seconds to Mars: 1/10. It takes WAY longer to get to mars than that

Beastie Boys: 8/10. They’re pretty beast on the guitar

Jimmy Eat World: 1/10. Slow the fuck down Jimmy, you’re biting off way more than you can chew

Hole: 9/10. One point deducted because I’m pretty sure they had more than one hole

Rage Against the Machine: 10/10. They did exactly that

Alice In Chains: 0/10. This is illegal. Let Alice go

The Band: 10/10. This could not possibly be more accurate

Nine Inch Nails: 1/10. I can’t find any good pictures of their feet but from what I can tell their fingernails definitely aren’t nine inches long

Bush: ?/10. Not quite sure about this one, felt uncomfortable asking

The Who: 2/10. I’m not dealing with this “Who’s On First” bullshit

Radiohead: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a radio for a head

Queens of the Stone Age: 0/10. This band should be called “five random dudes from the modern era” but FRDFTMA is a bit of a mouthful

Soundgarden: 2/10. Sound does not grow in the garden

Sonic Youth: 5/10. They’re not exactly youth anymore but the sonic part checks out

Talking heads: 8/10. There’s more to the band than just a bunch of disembodied heads but the heads do tend to talk

The Cranberries: 0/10. Decent music but I only added them so that the Beatles and Freddie Mercury weren’t the only fruits on this list

The Wiggles: 8/10. They do tend to wiggle a lot

Blue Man Group: 10/10. Yep!

Weezer: 5/10. They all look like they definitely have asthma

Limp Bizkit: 3/10. While the visual image of baked goods playing the guitar is hilarious, Fred durst is not a biscuit. Points added because he probably has erectile dysfunction

Stone Temple Pilots: 0/10. None of these people are accredited as being licensed to pilot anything, much less an entire stone temple. Stone temples don’t need pilots anyways

Wasted Youth: 8/10. I guess it really kinda depends on how you frame it but yeah, they probably wasted a lot of it

Them Crooked Vultures: 3/10. These are people and not birds but Dave Grohl’s posture is kinda bad and John Paul Jones is so old that his neck kinda looks like a vulture’s so I added some points

Audioslave: 0/10. Slavery is illegal

Traveling Wilburys: 4/10. Sure, they traveled a lot but not a single one of those lying bastards was named Wilbury

D12: 6/12. There were only 6 people in this band

NWA: 10/10. I’m a little too white to safely comment on this one but I’d say they nailed it

Jet: 1/10. A real jet would be way too loud

Goldfinger: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a finger made out of gold

No Doubt: ?/10. I can’t really be too sure how Gwen Stefani felt but I think it’s probably a safe assumption that she had some doubts

The White Stripes: 3/10. I bet if you stripped them down naked and made them stand shoulder to shoulder and squinted really hard they’d probably look more like white stripes

Screaming trees: 3/10. They scream occasionally

Garbage: 2/10. I think they’re being a little harsh on themselves, their music isn’t THAT bad

Butthole Surfers: 5/10. Not even gonna touch this one

Megadeth: 3/10. To be fair, some of the former members are dead but only a little amount of death, not mega death

Dead Kennedys: 2/10. Last I checked Kennedy was still dead but neither he nor his clones are members of this band

Cake: 0/10. The cake is a lie

Cracker: 8/10. Most of them are

Tool: 7/10. I don’t know much about their music but they sure look like tools

Counting Crows: ?/10. Is this what emo kids do instead of counting sheep? Accuracy depends on whatever bird they happen to be counting at the moment

Dave Matthews Band: 10/10. It certainly is

Oasis: 1/10. Their music is the opposite of an oasis

Blur: 2/10. They are not that fast

Barenaked Ladies: 0/10. If I wanted to be this disappointed I’d reestablish a connection with my biological father instead

Meat Puppets: 10/10. Technically, aren’t we all?

Live: 8/10. Apparently they still do live shows but I deducted some points because I’ve only ever heard their music on Spotify

ABBA: 9/10. I’m still not giving any points to Guns N’ Roses but that’s mostly out of spite

5 Finger Death Punch: 8/10 I guess it probably depends on how hard you hit them but this seems to be the usual amount of fingers to punch somebody with

All American Rejects: 9/10. They’re all rejects from America so I don’t really see any issue with this

T. Rex: 0/10. Even if any of these people WAS a T. Rex I don’t think their arms would be long enough to play their instruments

Free: 0/10. Unless you steal their music, in which case it becomes a 10/10

The Strokes: 3/10. To my knowledge, none of them have had a stroke but I still added a few points because the name was probably accurate for other reasons

The Smashing Pumpkins ?/10. Another thing I have no way of verifying but this seems like a waste of perfectly good pumpkins

Therapy?: ?/10. The hell are they asking me for? I don’t know their medical history

Twenty One Pilots. 0/10. There’s only two of them and neither is a licensed pilot

Finger Eleven: 0/10. Leave the poor Stranger Things girl out of this

Fall Out Boy: 9/10. I conferred with an expert on this one who confirmed that they are in fact boys who had a falling out

Cream: 8/10. Considering this was the OG supergroup I’m sure a lot of people did in fact cream when their music came out

Edit: humans aren’t fucking monkeys. Stop saying we are

TWO KEPLERS

if anyone was wondering how daveclan is doing, we’re now 260 cats and going strong

Spill 🪴

This piece is from 2021, I added some simple animations to it 🦋

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we were off to an archipelago to cure two party members loup-garou lycanthropy, which one of them (teifling) strongly denied. a ship with 2 vampires and humans stole all our food.

when we defeated them we took their ship and there was a little gnome with playing cards. teifling played with him and got a natural 20 and won immediately. the adrenaline turned him into a loup-garou, and kills the gnome immediately. the other diseased party member (thrikreen) goes over to this absolute beast and resists us trying to pull him away, thrikreen tells him to snap out of it. teifling is forced to reduce thrikreen to 0 hp. thrikreen accepts his fate and pinky promises dm. (thrikreen doesn’t die.)

teifling sees his friend dead and everyone else on the party rolls persuasion and finally snaps out of it.

i shit you not my shoes untied themselves during this game. no exaggeration.

NO MORE FIGHTING! PEACE AND LOVE ON TUMBLR DOT COM!!!

“im not gay” ok romulus

Okay I’m gonna talk about it more actually. I am disabled.

the key I think to writing better disabled rep in warrior cats (assuming you’re not going the route of making the clans actively ableist and having to get rid of those ideologies) is Choice and Variety. Just like… the simple change of a warrior not having to do EVERY warrior duty would be huge, because “this character is useless and can’t do shit” and “this character ACTUALLY can contribute to society in a way I approve of and is therefore a Good Disabled” are both ableist ideas.

Jayfeather is a big one for me- Cinderpelt voluntarily choosing the medicine cat path after her injury wouldn’t feel like an ableist writing decision if other cats had had more choice and been shown to have varying roles. If Jayfeather realised he couldn’t fight because he’s at his best when he has time to use all his senses and be aware, he could’ve been given several possible options!!

Training to be a warrior but focusing on hunting, which he’d still be capable of

becoming a medicine cat If He So Chose because it’s a way of serving his clan without having to fight

Training to be a full warrior but having a much longer training time than other apprentices and specifically working to develop strategies suitable for a blind cat in battle

all of these involve accomodations being made, him not just being written off as incapable but also not being expected to be just like other cats despite his disability and not feeding into the “overcoming” your disability narratives. Alderheart would’ve been similar, he could’ve had specialised mentoring to help him with his anxiety or he could’ve chosen the medicine den because it would allow him to still do something without placing him in stressful situations. Basically the things any au confronting ableism in the clans needs to do are:

Allow the character to choose their own path according to their individual needs

not treat the character as useless or a liability or helpless BUT ALSO

understand that a person’s worth is not determined by their ability to function to society’s standards and that they’re worthy of respect regardless of how much or little they can do for you

This post is kinda messy but I really wanted to get my thoughts out in one place. As a bonus, here’s some roles a disabled cat might take on depending on their disability

Full warrior, with allowances for their struggles if needed eg a chronically ill cat still hunting and patrolling but doing it less than others, having rest days to receive treatment and not overwork themselves.

partial warrior, focusing on either hunting or patrolling/fighting depending on what better suits their needs

if a cat needs to be confined to camp, for example because they’re immunocompromised or otherwise at risk, they could do a dustpelt and be someone who builds dens/otherwise helps out, maybe doing apprentice style duties like gathering moss and helping the elders (you would however have to throw out the idea that these tasks are demeaning, which in my opinion should probably just be done anyway because there’s nothing demeaning about helping people but I digress)

permaqueen/nursery helper! It’s a super important role that doesn’t require any hunting or fighting, and if a cat wouldn’t be suited to medicine because they can’t memorise herbs and treatments but is still kindhearted and caring this could be a great option

related, add a role that’s the equivalent to a nurse. Brightheart learning about herbs without being a full medicine cat is a huge asset and I honestly don’t know why they don’t expect more warriors to have some of that knowledge- but anyway a cat could help the main medicine cat to gather herbs, mix treatments, check on other cats, etc

becoming a medicine cat as their own choice. If it weren’t such a strong trend in the books there would be nothing wrong with disabled cats becoming medicine cats

also, joining the elders. Again, if a cat feels it would risk their health/be unsuitable to take on warrior or medicine cat duties, they shouldn’t have to. Also the elders always seem like they like having the company

TLDR- the most important thing for how you write a disabled character is not specifically what they’re capable of doing but rather letting them choose their own path and not be treated as lesser for what they can’t do while also not being underestimated about what they can do

Redesign Your Logo but Neil never stops listing the demographics so at some point he will just describe every single person on the planet

Grian "All My Friends Are Dead" Minecraft

why don’t people who want deities to answer their players just @ them