Fungi And Flora~

yes to all three

reblog if you are ASEXUAL, support ASEXUAL PEOPLE, or SECRETLY A DRAGON IN HUMAN FORM

lord the peasants are so loud today

Due to a misspelling on my part while writing down a wish I wanted the djinni to grant me, I have been transported back in time and turned into a servant of the king of England, Denmark, and Norway

A QUEEN

Gomez and Morticia Addams got divorced. I woke up mortified and with a sense of inexplicable dread.

Happy Kill Your Local Dictator Day!!

Grab your favorite knife and 59 of your closest friends and have fun!

Here are some helpful tips to keep in mind while you celebrate:

1) Dull knives are more dangerous (to you) than sharp ones.

2) If someone stabs you leave the knife in, if you are stabbing someone take the knife OUT

3) Try and get a dagger with an appropriate guard, as the impact of stabbing someone can make your hand slip up onto the blade and slice into you without one

Happy Ides everyone! I hope everyone gets the chance to take a stab at this time honored today!

what if i *remembers that making suicide jokes is not conducive with my goal of improving the wellbeing of myself and everyone around me* transform into an oyster

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

"ohhh wahhh the problem with building out america's rail network is that nobody wants to live next to train tracks-" I DO BITCH!!!!!!!! #I<3INDUSTRIALNOISES #SEXWITHATRAIN