This Is Basically An Advertisement For Piracy

Mark Osmundsen

I need everyone to know that the ship Götheborg, the world's largest ocean-going wooden sailing ship, answered a distress call the other day.

Imagine waiting for the coast guard or whatever to show up and instead a replica of 18th century merchant ship pulls up and tows you to the coast.

one of the cited threats of another Trump presidency is that more people will feel safe to be openly racist and its crazy that libs are proving this fear to be completely correct by personally sending death threats and deportation fantasies to racial minorities online for saying they don’t support genocide

Steph: I don’t think Jason likes me very much.

Duke: Huh? What makes you say that?

Steph: He cut my grapple line, just cause I tried to pass over Crime Alley!!

Tim: Eh. Jason doesn’t really like anyone. I wouldn’t take it personal. Just be glad he didn’t shoot at you.

Duke: Are we thinking of the same Jason right now?

Tim: Is there some other Jason we should know about?

Duke: Look, I’m not saying I don’t believe you guys, it’s just hard to picture. Look, here he comes now.

Jason, dapping Duke up: Narrows! You coming to book club tomorrow?

Duke: Wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Jason: Glad to hear it, and don’t be afraid to bring your own work, too. I’ve seen your writing, it’s powerful. Really. I’ve gotta bounce, but you think about it, alright?

Duke: Yeah, yeah…See you, Park Row.

Tim:

Steph:

Tim & Steph: Hey What The Fuck.

Addition: I need to get laid FASTER.

I need to get laid. That's all, goodnight.

Parents when the ADHD starts attention deficit-ing: what the fuck

I am sooooo close to starting an only fans/joining p-hub, you have no idea. My calling may be being an online whore, I feel like it's least likely to ruin my joints...

Reasons Why Bruce Wayne Refuses to Take a Break:

1. Why should he?

2. Because fuck you, that's why.

3. He's scared that if he ever actually stops to take a break, completely relax, and fully drop his guard, something horrible will happen to Gotham and/or the people he cares about and he won't be able to stop it because he wasn't prepared OR the years and years of burn out and physical/emotional pain will finally catch up to him (because he stopped running from it) and it'll hit him so hard that he'll finally have to face the trauma he endured as a child when he saw his parents die (which he is not physically capable of coping with, because the event fractured his identity into Batman, a man with childish morals and an inability to make exceptions [such as not killing a petty crook OR a mass murderer and thinking they should be dealt with the same way] and a childish sense of justice that cannot exist without him blocking out his trauma [so if he had to face that trauma his very identity would cease to exist]) therefore his mental health would be destroyed to such an extent that he'd be unable to even pretend he was alright, which in turn will make the people he cares about worry about him, and because he hates when people worry about him it'll cause him to lash out which will further isolate him from the world and from any form of human connection, leaving him sitting broken at an empty table in an empty mansion on an empty island just like he did when he was a mere, insignificant, hurt, orphaned eight year old who hadn't yet made his mark on the world-

4. He doesn't wanna >:[

Little spoon so I can feel the rising of their chest in my back as I rest and feel the consistent stream of their breath behind my ear

Pinning their wrists together with my hand so I can check their pulse with my thumb while fucking them

Missionary so I can press my ear against their chest and listen to their heart beat while they're fucking me

Sucking hickeys into their throat so I can feel the flow of blood pumping into the carotid artery under my lips

best depiction of the batfam will always be "You grew up to be the person who would have saved you" but it applies to them each respectively and that's why none of them can see eye to eye and also get up their own asses about things and go to such great lengths to defend their personal brand of justice. Because they can never stop trying to save themselves from their own history.