Not “Only My Reading Of Canon Is Correct” Or “Interpretations Are Subjective And All Valid” But

Okay but what does “Grayson is too handsome” EVEN MEAN?

Like does he mean dick doesn’t know how to flirt bc he’s good looking? Or has never asked someone out bc he gets asked out? Or? Gets away with more bc he’s good looking??

SOMEONE OLZ explain

This genuinely bothers me more than Jason rizzless Todd getting bitches and Steph being too female?

Hell would freeze before Damian going for advice to Tim, especially when Dick exists and he would be so much better on dating advice.

Also, Stephanie is "too female"? What the hell is that sexist bullshit supposed to mean?

Damian would go to Stephanie for advice before going to Tim. He used to be close to her but DC writers are forgetting it.

YES YES YES THIS EXACTLY THIS!!!

Also people forget that when you fuck with Dick Grayson he doesn’t just take the hits and go well they’re family I love them.

He leaves

Not permanently, never permanently.

But if you lash out at him he’ll bow out of your story.

Quintessentially he’s a character who exists to fill in flaws or missed edges (Robin was literally invented to keep Batman talking so comic books would be more interesting) and Dick is also a performer at heart

He knows when he’s losing the audience and when to go for intermission.

And the people he works with know he’s always right there if they need him urgently but that subtle support he provides will be absent until his wounds are sufficiently licked.

And give me a story where the characters know deep in their bones he will always answer their calls even if they no longer speak but not wanting to use it outside of an urgent situation because they understand how he works and are trying to respect that he will always come when called even if he really really needs to be away from them.

Like a respect for his autonomy as a person as well as a hero.

And only the brutality aspect it always annoys me as a lover of both canon and fanon when in fanfictions people will have Dick bring out Red Hood as a way to scare criminals.

I feel like this did bleed into Tom Taylor’s canon story but now that Dan Watters is writing again… yeah no

Mr “I’m putting my foot down better hope it doesn’t land on your neck” Grayson doesn’t need his little brother to come in and scare his cities criminals.

I genuinely love how in batfam fanfics….

Dick is like: little D (Damian), Timmy Tim, little wing (Jason) I’m on my way my baby bros!!!

And then in canon….

Dick: *perpetually perturbed by his codependent siblings but knows he’ll never not answer cause who else is gonna pull their dumbassses out the gutter*

I’ll give you Battinson! Bruce listening to those bands or even absolute Batman

however if we are doing 40yr old man Bruce I fear you’ll only get a mullet rock agreement from me. I’m talking

-Kansas

-Asia

-Van Halen

-Scorpions

-Survivor

As for the R&B (so based on what I like 90s Selina would like)

I’ll give you

-Mary J Blige

-Whitney Houston (my beloved)

- and while I hold that this is more rap than R&B Lauryn Hill

- (if we were to go into 80s or 2000s I’d add The Bee Gees and Amy Winehouse)

As for Jason, hes a bastard (also my beloved) so id say he listens to most music but he has strong favorites. However, Jason’s the type of dude who has cried to Taylor swift drunk and he refuses to admit it to anyone. (Both Dick and Roy were there and they have so many recordings)

And his favorite outside of the rap genre is Celine Dion. No he will not admit it without a gun to his head, actually not even then.

Every single member of the Batfamily lies about their taste in music

Damian will claim that he only listens to classical music and that everything else is beneath him.

Damian will unironically listen to trashy Arab pop and the absolute worst Bollywood songs known to man (Dick introduced him to them and he hates the fact that sometimes he gets Sheila Ki Jawani stuck in his head during missions)

Tim will put on the most ear grating hyper pop you've ever heard and claim with full chest that these is the peak of humanities capabilities with music (Damian, Jason and Steph have all tried to kill him for this take) He will also play stuff like the living tombstones and sing it obnoxiously loud when he's working on the computer.

Tim however loves his 90s grunge and it's all that's playing in his headphones. (think nirvana, pearl Jam, Melvins, Alice in Chains etc) He has tracked down so many shirts and concert posters and watched every bit of content from the older shows.

Jason will claim he only listens to east coast rap, biggie, Nas, Jay etc and maybe some older metal. He will fight you on east vs west coast music, there will be weaponry involved.

Jason likes rap music... he unfortunately prefers west coast rap and has listened to no vaseline like 500 times. He will deny this till the day he dies...again. (Dick knows and threatens to tell Steph)

Steph will steal the aux and play Taylor Swifts greatest hits until one of the Boys threatens mutiny. Every single one of the bats has had style stuck in their heads during a stakeout at least twice. She will claim that the only rap song she can tolerate in Eminem and the 7/11 is Beyoncés best song.

Steph is an underground fan, think the dude selling mixtapes on the subway type shit. She also unlike Jason genuinely loves East Coast Rap music more than anything and knows every single wu-tang clan song by heart, same with Biggie. Not only does she love the music she also spends any free time binging those "history of rap and its consequences" videos and has been a firm believer that P.Diddy had a hand in a lot of the Death row records well...deaths.

Cass, well everyone thinks Cass has really good taste bc its Cass and she has zero flaws (don't @ me) she never takes the aux and will usually listen to her music while she's chilling or doing stretches. None of them have heard or seen a single one of her playlists except Duke.

its all 2010s top 40s pop music and like the trashy kind too, Beauty and the Beat, Kesha, Katy Perry. It's her turning of her brain time and she will be straight vibing to Rude! by magic or Boom Clap or Shower. she has shown this to Duke, smirked and told him that even if he tried to tell anyone they wouldn't believe him.

Duke is the only one who doesn't... lie. He just hides a few things. Lies of omission don't count as lies when the bats will lie to you about what they had for breakfast, while they are visibly eating breakfast. Duke says he listens to everything and he does. Literally everything. His patrol Jam is offensive bc it with start with Norwegian death metal and immediately switches to "like a G6" followed by kendrick Lamar and then descendants Disney channel movie music.

Bruce... Bruce is just weird, everyone asks him and gets a different answer. Bc he doesn't... like music. Like at all. It's all noise, his mother played instruments so he learned like 14 and he hates how they all sound. He just like vague batwings fluttering in dead silence.

Dick Grayson will obnoxiously play top 40 and radio music religiously around the bats. He claims it's the best music for rhythmic acrobatics and trapeze work and that true! Jason hates this kind of music the most, it's formulaic and holds no substance and drives him insane.

But Dick only listens to that music when he's moving, flipping doing high energy stuff. When he just wants to chill? This man has the most depressing music taste you've ever seen. You know that sad song from ur favorite artist that you can't listen to without crying. Yeah that's his bread and butter. Every single song is just flat out tear inducing, some of these bands have like 100 listeners and he is one of them and it's just their saddest song that reads like suicide note. The titans have conducted an intervention bc its just... concerning. He just thinks it's neat!

friend: so i heard you like batman

me:

me: are you sure you’re ready for this conversation

Who the fuck forgot to tell me that humanities and social sciences are fun??? Like I decided to take gender studies for funsies as an elective. YALL?? This shit is so accessible?? And nice???

Like they explain the theories to you in the same book and have references and citations are simple and I don’t need to Google to understand???

They don’t make memorize 500 brain areas and randomly critique capitalism as if it’s like a normal fucking thing that is known and okay and not out there I love you social sciences.

wtf do you mean academia can be accessible and fun and I don’t need to be on 60 milligrams of Ritalin to pass an exam bc my brain can’t focus this is PEAK

Fuck stem this is unfair

I am suddenly hyperfixating on Harry Potter? This was an unforeseen and unpleasant experience

Dick Grayson was so abnormal as a child but so normal as an adult which leads me to believe he’s a liar.

Like 8yro dick stared into the abyss (Bruce Wayne’s entire personality as viewed through the windows of one’s eyes to the soul bc he’s a creepy 8 yr old ofc he can tell ur life story from the amount of light reflected in your eyes don’t be dumb) and instead of running away screaming he just nodded like that made complete sense and then went

I need to look like a traffic light to fight crime bc the big guy is into thematics and that all makes perfect sense to me

And Dick as an adults is like

“What are you doing?” *pinches no bridge* “no that’s stupid don’t be stupid”

“No I don’t think dead bodies are a healthy escalation”

“Idk man when I’m sad I call Clancy ya know my therapist I don’t traumatize random strangers?”

Like yeah sure he has anger issues I would also have them if I had his life

And he’s like suffered hallucinations sometimes (after living in Gotham who wouldn’t?)

But he has like friends and hobbies and seems like the type of dude who’d wear flannel and take you to a dog friendly farmers market for organic lavender honey but also the best pulled pork sandwich of your life for a first date.

Like normal guy with quirks

Vs

Might be the anti Christ

So he’s lying

(But it’s also funny to think that Dick accidentally developed himself into being a normal dude and then him and Bruce fought bc Dick no longer matched is insane- I disagree with this bc no they just can’t communicate also nothing in Dicks internal monologue bodes well for his mental health)

Like 1000% lying

Like he still does the creepy giggle to scare criminals when no other hero’s are around

He definitely does like ventriloquy stuff where he’ll make people think there are children’s ghosts trapped inside cargo

Like he absolutely has made the riddler cry out of sheer wtf

in case anyone’s interested, I made a collage of every time Dick and Kory are cuddling during a Titans meeting. seriously

roy’s whole pitch to dick at the start of outsiders is so fucking funny when you actually think about it. bc it’s like:

dick: I can’t be on a team again, I won’t lead friends and family into danger anymore!

roy: cool cool of course man, no problem! it’ll just be strangers and coworkers this time. no deep emotional bonds, I promise! ignore the fact that you’re one of the people I love most in the world and we’ve been family to each other for half our lives and I’m creating this team specifically to help and support you

dick: seems legit, I’m in

Baby