I Need In My Life Tim Drake Who Does Rely On Adults But Really Only One And Bruce Is Jealous As Fuck

Batkids parenting

Dick: Dick treats his kids like they’re adults in terms of how he speaks to them. He’ll hold his 2 year old in his arms at the museum and calmly explain the systems that are in place to create rainfall. He answers literally every question with extreme patience that “why, why, why?” Toddler era would mean he started prepping to leave the house 3 hours early because he needs time to explain things to his kids and he won’t do the “because I said so thing” even if it kills him. It also means his toddlers are insanely advanced and can by the time they’re 5-6 they can do complex physics equations while swinging upside down on the monkey bars.

Jason: spoils his kids rotten, like violently rotten. There isn’t a single thing they want that he won’t get them. Goes on patrol later to read them bedtime stories. He’s a professional helicopter parent. His kids somehow turn out extremely sweet and humble despite the fact they have never been told no. He avoids the PTA like the plague

Tim: any child Tim has is an identical copy of him and he suffers. Bc why is his four year old trying to follow out of the house. Child powernaps through life the exact same way Tim refuses to have a full eight hours no he’ll have 30 power naps tho. Which means getting any children to sleep through the night is hellish. The children are hellions and whenever he complains to Dick about them Dick just cackles and goes. YOU SEE THATS HOW WE FELT ABOUT YOU. The worst part is, they’re perfect little angels to everyone else so no one except for the people who were around to see Tim grow up believes him when he complains.

Damian: Damian’s children end up feral not because of Damian Nono they’re like Robin Dick Grayson type of feral. They have the cutest lil noses and the biggest eyes and the most angelic faces and now they’re climbing the walls. See Dicks kids do this because dick has no bones and walked on his hands before his feet, Damian’s kids do this because their older cousins are their prime baby sitters. Damian comes home one day and his 7 year old is on the chandelier and it’s a perfect match of 30 years ago when Bruce came home to Dick chilling on his vintage 18th century chandelier. Naturally he freaks and tries to yell at his nieces and nephews who see nothing wrong with this because why wouldn’t you climb walls? Dad does it all the time??? Why would you have objects high up if the goal wasn’t to sit on them. Damian might look like Talia but he feels exactly how his father did all those years ago.

In terms of behavior

Jason’s are the most well behaved in general

Tim’s are the most well behaved in public

Damian’s are little menaces but they grow out of this (somewhat)

Dicks kids are a combination of him and his partner and judging by Dicks taste and general demeanor means they never have any chill… like ever.

See the issue with being a multi shipper for ur fave is

Dick x Roy yes

Dick x Wally yes

Dick x Garth yes

Dick x Kori yes

Dick x Joey yes

Dick x Red X (TT reference but I fear? Sure)

Dick x Harley formerly no but someone recommended me a fic and you know what fuck it

Dick x Babs sure

Dick x midniter yes

Dick x tiger yes

Dick x huntress yes

Dick x Donna no

Dick x zatanna yes

Dick x Constantine yes

Dick x Slade for ship no for fucked up trauma inducing plot yes (I’m sorry that TT Apprentice arc was too good I will never get over it)

Dick x Kara sure

Dick x various other characters that I’m sure folks will leave in the reblogs. Honestly yeah why the fuck not

However at the same time, Dick doesn’t sleep around in my head like AT ALL. Like I firmly think this man is demisexual and has had like 3 important relationships in his life. But also he has dated every single one of these people?

These two things are canon and can exist at the same place and time without being a contradiction shut up.

Current Bruce Wayne meeting All Star Batman and robing Bruce Wayne

C! BW: …im- im sorry I must’ve misheard you bound to happen with the cowl… do you mind repeating what you said

ASBAR! BW: I don’t let Robin upstairs and make him hunt rats and bats for food in the cave

C!BW suddenly understanding why Jason kills people: … do. You. Now

ASBAR! Bat: yeah why?

C! BW about to turn into Joe chill and end that world’s Wayne’s:…. I see

Or

ASBAR! BW: I’m sorry what?? Did?? You?? Say??

C!BW: I gave Dick a hug and told him? I was proud of him

“He would not fucking say that” is a Schrodinger’s phrase when it comes to Batman. There is probably Batman run where he would say that. There is also probably a run where Batman would kill the other Batman for saying that.

Question?

We talk about how Tim, Jason and Damian’s parents raised them pre Bruce but why don’t we talk about Dick Graysons.

Bc even before all of the court of the owls shit the way that man was raised was wild.

So remember Dick was a member and active participant of a circus as a child. A trapeze act without a net who was expected to pull his weight since he could walk.

That means that despite what everyone thinks John and Mary Grayson absolutely could not afford to gentle parent their child.

At all.

Dick had to know how dangerous his life was forever. He has to be perfect because if he fails him or his parents die. They die with a mistake. Don’t stretch your hand out far enough and someone falls.

And despite the fact that the Romani aspect of his character was born out of a writers need for fetish content. I still find it interesting to explore.

And since I am European! Halys circus truther

It gets more interesting because the anti-Romani sentiment in Europe is vile, obvious and violent. (And I say this as a poc who grew up outside of Europe and moved here for college. Like you’d never imagine the type of shit they say about a group of people with no shame before turning around and commenting about how crazy it is that poc are treated poorly in the rest of the world.) Now imagine your child is working a dangerous gig while being part of a hated minority and you have to go and advertise your whole families location because you are the centerpiece of a show.

Yall think Mary and John Grayson didn’t teach their kid to lie? To fit in with any group humanly possible.

You think Mary and John didn’t teach dick to switch from, mama to mom to Daj. To switch accents and tones and languages since before he could walk on his hands?

You think that this kid who grew up traveling everywhere wouldn’t know how to integrate himself so fully into the society he’s in that he’s invisible as an outsider?

When Dick talks to Bruce in Juvie right before hes taken in as a ward he has an American accent. A Gotham accent and not the ones the other kids has no Dick has a Bristol accent. When he first meets Alfred he has a charming softly British accent, the kind that isn’t immediately noticeable unless you share the accent. The softening of the vowels and heavy central consonants. Think kids who went to British schools abroad and learned English from people with British accents.

Bruce notices this but doesn’t think much of it I mean kids can adapt to their environments startlingly quick maybe the kid just kinda picks up accents.

But then Dick becomes robin and he’s horrifically good at it from the get go.

Which sends alarm bells in Alfred’s head because he raised Bruce at that age. He taught Bruce to defend himself at that age. Bruce wouldn’t be about to do 1/10 of what this kid can do.

No eight year old should be able to throw items with that sort of precision even a child as good at gymnastics as dick. No child should be that comfortable with a knife in his hand.

And of course dick always had an excuse, he grew up around fire breathers and knife throwers of course he’s good.

And Bruce notices when Dick goes out as Robin and begins to help people because for the first few months, he never speaks first.

He’ll save someone and when they thank him, he’ll reply in their exact accent.

The crime alley rougher tones

The high class smarmy Bristol accent

The open vowel Jersey accent

When he meets Superman there’s the barest edges of midwestern twang in his every word.

And it’s just unnerving

He flickers between cultures like their clothes in his wardrobe, accents like they’re a new set of perfectly fit shoes.

He’s just good at it.

And it’s a game to him.

He sees how close he can get to your accent without coming off as suspicious.

By the time he’s being doing the Robin shtick for a while and knows the areas he just immediately switches to the most common accent there even if there aren’t any people around.

His facial expressions and hand gestures change as well.

It adds to the myth of the Batman because the gcpd for a long while believes any Robin reportings to be a myth because one minute someone is reporting a Jersey accent the next genial Californian, or a tv safe reporter tone, one minute the kid is conversing in perfect Russian the next he’s speaking Spanish like he grew up in Mexico.

When he wants to get away with a mistake his voice switches to one indistinguishable from a scared child, with a mild stutter, overgramarization and the scared world slurring children do that makes your heart soft

When he wants people to listen to him his he’s eloquent and enunciating perfectly. He sounds far older than his years.

And everyone thinks they’re hearing the real Dick Grayson speak and it makes their hearts happy because look at how he puts on a show for everyone but trusts me enough to talk without lying.

Without ever realizing that they’re one of the people watching the show.

….4…. I don’t wanna talk about it

y’all expose yourselves and take this fanfic test i was just forced to by an irl so now i’m making you too

Me when some of yall post about Dick Grayson and Roy Harper angst unprompted on a regular Tuesday

Tumblr already has a personalization algorithm it's called my beloved mutuals who have great taste and only wish to psychologically damage me sometimes

Part 2 of my boy! And the phenomenal writing in the new Nightwing run!! (Thank you so much to everyone who worked on this comic I’m in love with you have forehead kisses)

Omg look at how cute my baby and his dad are!!! The re so cute?!? Look at how worried Bruce is??? My babies??? How shocked and confused dick is???? Ughhhh my baby

Nightwing graduated from the Batman school of randomly appearing and the Deadpool school of superhero landings. And it’s peak BRO JUST SHOWS UP???

Brightwing

Lightwing!

I just think it’s neat!!!

No other reason :D

Oh look a reminder that chemo happened :D

My poor boy

AYO??? DID HE PICK UP A PEICE OF BUILDING AND BEATING ASS??? WHOOPING ASS??? MY K I N G :D

He’s so perfect!!!!

In summary: EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS RUN :D HES PERFECT NO FLAWS AT ALL!!! (Ignores all flaws)

I’m so sorry are we calling the shit with mirage?? And Catalina??? Cheating? Like in NTT when she KIDNAPS Kori and disguises herself as her and then sleeps with him only to reveal it in front of his team to which he vehemently states that he loves Kori.

OR that time with Catalina when he was engaged to babs and she left him to figure herself out and he was forced into sex while having a mental breakdown on a rooftop? Ya know after watching people who mattered to him as well as people who just met him DIE? After sleeping on a fireescape bc his apartment blew up? Where during the scene he desperately apologizes to Catalina and has a full on psychotic breakdown?

OR was it the decanonized wedding story that everyone and their mother has argued stated and agreed is staunchly out of character for him? Oh yeah also even for most of the decanonized stuff he was being mind manipulated by brother blood? Come on?? The raven storyline??? Don’t even start with me

Wanna talk about him being flaky? Fine?

Wanna talk about the fact he’s too stuck to the bats he can’t actually handle the aspects of a relationship and ends up neglecting his partner yeah canon fine

Wanna talk about him being a manipulative shit yeah okay

BUT CHEATING??

Nah fuck offff with that noise

Also I make jokes about Tim being toxic

Bc I am a Steph Stan and YEAH HE WAS

My brother in Christ, what comics are you reading???

I understand the part about defending Tim about being someone who constantly cheats on his partners (I defended him too), but that gratuitous attack on Dick???

And I'm sorry to tell you that Tim wasn't a big fan of Jason-

"read the comics" "people who don't read comics are so annoying" "fans don't even read comics" dude be so fr you're not better at all

Dick in TT: manipulates his friends

Dick in YG: manipulates his friends

Dick in New teen titans: manipulates his friends and also villains

Dick in solo run: manipulates enemies

Dick in team up runs: manipulates team

Everyone canonically when dick is manipulative: 😮

Us the readers when Dick is manipulative: 😮

Us the reader when Dick is trying to be manipulative but fails and ends up manipulated: 😮😮😮

"I headcannon Dick as manipulative" you and the writers of Nightwing babe

Jason: pfft, no rest for the wicked? What a lie. I’m wicked and I rest plenty. I rested so hard I slipped into an eternal rest. I take offence to that false statement.

Dick, concussed and glaring pointedly at the time: and if you don’t get out of my apartment in the next five minutes, you’ll be resting in the medbay until next week