Listen The ‘Bruce Brought Dick In To Stop Him Killing Zucco” Is Fun

Okay but I have questions?

Is it Arabic coffee or Turkish coffee?

And if it’s Arabic coffee with or without cardamom???

Talia is definitely a Turkish coffee person she also does the thing where she flips it over, swirls it and reads the meaning.

I think Ras would be an Arabic coffee drinker but he’s one of the puritans who likes his coffee light, kinda how they serve it in Saudi. Like the pale green one with a small plate of dates.

But there’s one thing I think is really funny

Listen Arabs don’t… really drink coffee alone in a full house? It’s just not really done.

You also don’t drink coffee quickly

Coffee is a period of time where you sit down and get all the gossip from your family members if you’re a matriarch (I’m talking elopements, marriages, divorces, cheating scandals with the Al ghuls probably all of that + murders, assassination attempts and or plans etc)

Can you imagine Damian moving to the manor and seeing Alfred the eldest member of the household serving people tea and then …. Leaving?

Or taking his tea by himself for a well earned break?

Personally if I was 10? It would freak me the hell out if my grandma was sitting alone having her coffee when my mom and various aunts and uncles were in the house.

Or my GREAT grandma omg no that’s just eerie

He’d be so confused?? Like wtf are you doing?? Or like how people have coffee with breakfast here instead of after??? Like you don’t move to the sitting room and have coffee with tiny bite sized desserts or dates? Are you okay? Why are you having a pot of coffee with your oatmeal?

In my Arab region (I can't speak for the others, but I'm pretty sure they have similar things. Add your stuff if you do!) Coffee time is kind of sacred and is tightly regulated with heavy traditional rules. Especially so for the male populace.

Coffee makes the man! (Literally, I can't stress this enough)

Men and women alike are trained from a very young age on how to make and serve their coffee. A coffee with a good colour is a bright sign for your guests, and the way you serve is very telling of you.

Doors are ALWAYS open for guests, and HUGE halls are prepared to accommodate them (they can reach hundreds, depending on your dad's popularity). A household's head is a very blessed man when he has children/grandchildren because he can brag about them by showing their serving skills off. Those children will be scrutinised and judged according to their coffee serving manners. It's a very integral part of a charming character's traits for us. So, parents, especially fathers, are very strict about this.

Aside from guests, families have daily coffee time for themselves, too! It's very respectful to serve your mom and dad coffee. So it's expected from you.

Considering Ra's personality, serving him coffee as a grandson would be a nightmare.

Imagine Damian refilling the finjaan again and again in front of an elegantly sitting Ra's until he gets it right? Imagine him waiting (while standing, maybe for an hour or so) for Ra's to finish his finjaan so he can refill it again? Imagine how LIVID Ra's would be when Damian accidentally fills the finjaan to the top (a message that says, are you satisfied, yet? Get out! In my region) imagine Ra's asking Damian to serve coffee for his villain allies?!! Arabs and non?? And imagine people getting to know and hear about him from his coffee serving, like a good Arab son, before they know him from his sword?

Also, when he finally lives in the manor and sunset arrives and Batman is sitting by the batcomputer, deeply focused, and then is surprised by a finjaan presented to him because it's coffee time?

Damian would be very confident and proud of his coffee making and serving skills he would expect from Bruce nothing but sipping and asking for a refill, because his father should know his manners.

Bruce would know nothing about this but would, of course, sip (not drink! Drinking bad!!!) without question, and will continue to accept and sip every. Single. Day before patrol without knowing what is happening but going along with it because he's pretty sure this is Damian's way of bonding.

Which is not really true because Damian is only performing his duty as a son. He never really understood the core meaning behind this tradition because for a long time now, the art of Arabian Coffee was only a skill that was expected from him and a part of showing good grace. But as days pass and the number of people being served coffee increases and coffee time becomes a routine before each patrol for the whole family, when dates and snacks and small talk and occasional laughter join in, the very meaning behind this tradition clicks with him, and he serves it with a smile.

I love when I’m reading fanfiction about dick going thru it and everyone hating him and what not.

And then the author is like

Yeah yeah everyone hates him except Donna Donna would never hate him, but she’s busy and he doesn’t wanna fuck up her relationships despite the fact he knows she wouldn’t mind

Bc yes even in a premise as stupid as “everyone wakes up and hates dick Grayson” is we ALL collectively agree that there is no universe where Dick and Donna arent completely out of their minds with adoration for the other

Thank you to everyone who remembers that DONNA TROY WOULD NEVER

I think the only time I have ever called my brother akhi is as a joke.

However I will say I am a stereotype and habibi, hubi, albi, hayati all leave my mouth when I am talking to loved ones (familial, platonic and romantic) but

Damian can’t really use these because not only are they sugar sweet

My love, my heart, my life (translations)

But also because they’re usually used from older to younger in a family context it’s not an explicit thing but with sibling relationships it’s very rare for the younger sibling to use these terms even in formal situations.

However do I believe that Dick would absolutely call Damian random pet names bc he thinks it’s funny how Damian flushes- yeah absolutely

DAMIAN HOWEVER would use Arabic to say shit that you cannot get away with in English

And he’d be fucking visceral

“عقل يخرا، و طيز تفكِّر" your brain shits and your ass thinks

‘I wanna hang your mothers pussy on a laundry rack and let it rain dicks’ is one we as a society do not use enough ‘بدي إنشر كس إمك عحبل الغسيل و خلي الدنيا تشتّي إيورة’

Tell me he wouldn’t???

Also Talia would absolutely call Damian Ya Rouhi instead of like habibi

And yeah mama, would absolutely come before ibny

This is just a mini info dump from an Arab batfamily fan because I find Damian calling his siblings Akhi... adorable (for me as a native speaker watching a writer use Arab words) and, not painful, just... itchy, it URGES me to make a pptx with 300 slides and just? Talk about Arabic?

So... أخي, Akhi, Brother.

It's not incorrect. The word is used in the right place and delivers its intended meaning. Other Arab speakers might not find a problem with it. They'd feel odd like I did but will likely go "eh" and carry on. But I'm an Arabic enthusiast, so...

Like with every language with geographically widespread users, the Arabic tongue kind of- deviated from its roots. The language has naturally branched out into so many dialects I myself can't keep track of.

Arabs from different regions can understand each other. They use the same words but for different purposes and with different pronunciations.

The original root language that holds them all (Quranic Arabic) was simplified into an easier, standard version that is used for formal speeches and as a communication bridge (seeing that you can't, say, translate something to Arabic and say it's for all Arabs if you use a certain dialect. Because an Arabic dialect is an identity at this point, tell me somebody is Syrian, and I know them already)

Now, with the fun part.

See, no Arab calls any sibling of theirs Akhi, I myself would burst laughing if mine did.

Yakhoi يَخوي (nonstandard, everyday Arabic for o, brother) , maybe, if I'm calling a stranger from the streets or an offender I'm going to give a piece of my mind.

Or, hold your breaths, my brother is crying, and the lights are out and I NEED to use the tenderest, most loving, most adoring, most revering tone I could muster so he just knows he is loved and family. Y'know? This specific situation.

And other Arabs might just say, no, I use it when, I use it when, I don't use it, etc.

The point is, nobody will mention Akhi. Because it's a Standard Arabic word, a formal word, and a word used in translated texts and stories when a foreign character we don't consider part of us call their brother. It's weird, it's devoid of emotions, and it's like watching a robot trying to be emotional, but it's a translated text. That's what translated texts use, and it's fine.

It is fine, Standard Arabic has been used for stories so much that nobody questions its influence on a character's characterisation.

I'm not saying Standard Arabic shouldn't be used for story writing, quite the opposite, in fact. I'm just saying that if Arabic is used to represent an Arab, its usage should also consider an everyday Arab experience and manners.

Now to Damian.

Akhi is robotic. Damian's personality does allow him to fall under that category. If for his well refined manners and polite, formal speech.

But even the King wouldn't call his brother Akhi.

He'd call him by his name. For my community (and most, I'm sure) siblings are called by their names, and if we look up historic Quranic (Root) Arabic speakers, they, too, call their siblings by their name. Yes, even the Sultan.

If not by actual name, then either endearing or demeaning names.

Arabs LOVE endearing names, but they're dipped in a pool of honey I don't think Damian would like to dive in.

Talia, on the other hand, would most certainly call Damian Mama. Arab parents call their kids by their own titles. It's the ultimate expression of parental love of all times, in my opinion.

(Don't make Batman call him Papa, though. Pretty sure Damian would malfunction)

-

Well, I said all that, but watching writers include Arabic words in his vocabulary is still sweet. Tt is not even a word, but it's such an Arab thing it's my favourite.

If only I could make subtitles of everyday Arab talk and show you, their speech is heavy with, excuse my English, word softeners, it's like they're talking in a TV drama and not the real world.

Watching Damian adopting it would be interesting :D

The "everyone was at the Circus" joke is kinda hilarious not gonna lie ... So just don't think about the fact that the first tragedy of Dick's life was also a performance and watched by an audience.

He has been performing (and working) since he was probably a toddler and he can't stop.

Everyone witnessed his tragedy and I don't know, I'm just sad about Dick.

Donna Troy cradling Dick Graysons face between her hands; I would die for you

Dick: I would die for you

Donna: I know hon, but it doesn’t mean the same thing coming from you

Dick, vaguely offended: hey!

Donna: Dickie baby, you’d die for a torn up piece or paper or something much less valuable like Bruce Wayne.

Donna: let’s face it, you dying for something/someone isn’t exactly a compliment, it means they’re breathing (optional)

Dick: …… I mean you’re not…. Wrong but i really don’t want to admit that

Donna now patting both sides of his face: dw I know you love me, even if you have a martyr complex

it's so wild to me that you absolutely cannot force a hyperfixation to happen. like you'll watch the most perfectly tailor-made-for-you content that everyone says you'll love and feel absolutely nothing, and then the thing you watch on a whim to fill time will reach through the screen and put its damn fingers in your brain and start rearranging the neurons right in front of you and every single time you're like THIS??? THIS??????? and this happens like every 6-12 months forever

Dick Grayson ships in order of how toxic you should write them as adults in an established relationship imo (no batcest and we can discuss the harem at a later time)

Least

Dick X Wally: this is the quintessential friends to lovers story it’s adorable. Naturally a lil bit of toxicity bc nightwing is not a healthy person but still the ratio is 99% cute and 1% angst as adults. Feel free to angst away with the Robin/KF thing

Worlds where this is cute: young justice, earth prime pre Wally meeting Linda.

Dick X Kori: listen to me, if you ignore all the shitty writing (yes the babs wedding thing) they r perfect <3. The only person who I believe can be the lights light ya know. The broke up because they both took hits they couldn’t recover from but they still love each other and they’re my favorite canon pairing they should get back together and have a kid and be a cute lil family.

Worlds where this is cute: TT, Earth prime, DCAU, injustice, titans tomorrow, Lego Batman (every single earth actually)

Dick X Zatanna: cute, childhood crush turned sweethearts turned friends nothing to say here I just don’t think it would be toxic

Worlds where this is cute: young justice

Worlds where this should never happen: all the rest (she dated his dad)

Dick X Joey: I love them so I’m biased their relationship is on par with Dick and Wally taking field trips in the 80s. Also this is joeys most popular ship and that makes me laugh. BUT ANYWAY they’re just very homoerotic and I feel like they respect each other enough the toxicity would be on the lower side.

Worlds where this is cute: literally anytime before he possesses his dad’s body.

Times this is concerning: post possessing nightwings body (anyone remember that happening I just ignore it now, cuz I hate the whole evil Joey thing but if you wanna take this ship from 30% toxic to 140% write it post possession with the dude who had autonomy issues)

Dick x Kara: I just feel like the hero worship would get in the way a little bit

Worlds where this is cute: worlds finest

Worlds where this isn’t: the rest

Dick x Roy: I love them sm ur honor (despite how low I’m putting this, it’s one one my top ships) listen Dick and Roy adore each other and would die for each other, but the baggage?? The years of expectations?? The fights??? The fact that Dick gets more and more closed off when he’s mad usually but him and Roy in the same room and fists fly?? But the only people who can talk to Dick when he’s spiraling are Roy and Donna. Like ROY HARPER is one of Dick people!! You don’t understand how much I love how they can hurt each other while loving each other so so so much. They cause me pain. I don’t believe they’d ever mellow out Dick and Wally tho bc they’re whole relationship is heated they have never had a chill emotion about each other in their history of being characters that exist in the same space.

Worlds where this is cute: literally any world where the titans exist/have existed with speedy and Robin as core members

Worlds where no?: new 52 (I hate new 52 and ignore it tho so no universe sucks bc new 52 isn’t real and can’t hurt me)

Dick X Harley Quinn: see I hated this ship and I hate it in canon but I once read a fic that was good enough I now ship it on the dl and think it would be good for Harley to be with someone who can be a safety net. But like this is AU rare pair type shit and it’s low bc I literally cannot picture a canon universe where this isn’t the most toxic thing ever.

Worlds where yes: DCAU (AU) not even the canon one like the AU of the AU that is the DCAU (take a shot Everytime I say AU)

Dick X Shawn Tsang: I’m sorry yall Shawn was such a boring character I forgot she existed but I remember that she broke up with him after he lost his memory cuz she thought he was ghosting her and like not only does it feel like she just existed to give dick a love interest. Also this comic featured the character death wing and so it’s so low not bc the ship sucks except it does bc why dick?? Are you dating someone who hates heroes?? Why r u like this??? Stopppp but also bc imo the ship has a white bread type of content that is toxic to me personally and that’s more important.

Dick x Bea Bennet: I loved them sm in the beginning, best part of the Ric Grayson arc and then they added the spyral ties and made her a pirate and tbh that ruined it for me. Dick and Bea only work as a cute relationship if Bea is a way out or a window into the outside world like something to ground the man who is always trying to get his feet off the ground. It would be interesting. But now she’s just another another relationship where he didn’t know who he was dating and tbh I don’t think he’d be down for that post literally everything that’s ever happened to him romantically after the age of 16

Dick Babs: yes it’s this low, no I will not change it. It should be lower but I used to ship this so it’s only my fond memories keeping it this high. Babs slept with his father after dating him in at least 2 universes. Dick left Gotham for freedom and she quite literally drags him back Everytime they’re together it feels like about 30 years of Dicks character development is erased. And let’s not talk about Barbara used to be a congress woman Gordon. They deaged her to make her a decent love interest for someone who was a kid when she was running for congress. And because of the fact their characters don’t naturally balance out the way some of his other canon ships do (Bea, Shawn, KORI(the best canon ship imo), hell even Helena) it leads to the characters becoming flanderizations of themselves. Dick is a loveable himbo whose only defining characteristic is his ass and I hate to say it Barbara Gordon literally just turns into female Bruce and I hate it so much but genuinely read though some of their older stuff it’s like..ugh. Anyway I hate this ship I think it’s bad for both of them and while I’m not babs biggest fan I still like her and she and Dick should be best friends who get drunk on weekends and shit talk the bats and their respective teams (titans, birds of pray)

Dick X Helena bertinelli: yall wtf is this ship, if this is your main ship? Why? Tell me? Like what?? Helena??? Esp prime earth Helena?? He has more chemistry with midnighter than her (but we are not discussing the harem so I will remain silent)

Now the most toxic ship that isn’t incestuous is so obvious bc no one has ever pictured this ship with a modicum of health in it except its creator (derogatory) I’m 99% sure every single fic tagged this also has the domestic violence tag

Dick X Catalina Flores. Yeah no a billion times no this shit is so toxic the jack Napier fell into it and became the joker. This shit so toxic it only serves as a trauma boat for another person to swoop in and get him out I hate this so much.

Now dick is an old character so he has about a billion other relationships. But these are either the recent ones (Shawn, Bea) or the ones that have a lot of ao3 clout (birdflash) or something that makes my heart soft (dick and Joey) plus his most iconic 2 pairing I will not be getting into characters like Daphne, Clancy or Betty or anything else or the creepy ones like the fact he’s had shit with both catwoman and taila.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

But also my favorite thing to do is incorporate Dicks fanon character into his canon one

Because he would

Dick, despite being one of the most competent, well known and respected members of the hero community

He Is famously easy to underestimate

Like cartoonishly so to the point where the people who do feel like idiots to us

He’s so easy to underestimate that people who are aware of his skill either by direct combat or receiving a file on it will proceed to violently underestimate his abilities.

The first 2 instances that come to mind are

-the fact that deathstroke let him train Rose because slade knows how good Dick is but somehow doesn’t clock that the man that he’s been fighting for I believe it was at least 4 years (depending on timelines and when you believe the blockbuster storyline happened in relation to Judas contract) would be capable of manipulating his daughter into turning against him

Spryal. There is literally a scene where Dick collects DNA evidence in front of Helena because he’s cracking jokes and using a lollipop to do it. Not only is it in front of Helena it’s also INFRONT OF MINOS.

he’s canonically so good and making you see things that aren’t there and not see things right in front of you that he was a prodigy with the Hypnos facial tech.

There are more I’m sure but those are the most memorable ones in my brain.

But it’s also pretty prominent in his dialogue vs internal monologue

Where is dialogue is very wise-cracking and punny (let’s not talk about the term nightwinging it) his internal monologue is far more analytical and if it isn’t it falls more along self critical or caustic sarcasm.

Dick Grayson is the character who is most likely to play into that fanon characterization of him anytime he is not in a position where he needs to be in charge.

Like Dick does use the fact that he has a pretty face and a nice smile and a strong moral viewing of right and wrong to trick people into thinking he’s naive and not definitelyyyy not outwitting them.

He’s talked about how he’s the nice bat and the friendly one who will stop for a chat but when he puts his foot down it better not be in your neck.

And he absolutely would play up technical incompetence and being poor at life skills if it made him easier to talk to giving him more access to information.

Especially among the more anti hero and broader hero communities.

I mean Dick is canonically talked about as the one you go to with your problems when he literally told people he has files on how to take them down and then proceeded to SHARE the files.

That’s how much trust he’s built up in his community.

Anyway that’s not the reason that the fanon characterization exists but it’s a reason I find it very interesting in general.

Like there is a TikTok series where the canon and fanon bats meet and I genuinely if Canon Dick met Fanon Dick he would absolutely steal some of those lines and use them next time he needs a morally ambiguous older man who understands he might be a challenge but seriously how big of a threat could nightwing be to underestimate him.

I’m about to ruin your guys day. Let’s talk about canon and fanon. Dick Grayson edition. I’ve realized that some people don’t actually know what’s canon and what’s fanon. (It’s okay to like what’s fanon more than what’s canon, but I want to clear some things up)

Cooking: Dick can actually cook! Literally everyone says that he can’t cook, but he can! He has cooked for his younger brother (Tim Drake) numerous times! I’m pretty sure he’s cooked with the Titans too.

Singing: Dick is one of the only batfam member’s who can sing. In fact Dick is good at literally everything. (Not EVERYTHING but he can do most things)

Kindness: Don’t get me wrong Dick is a sweetheart but some people make it seem like he’s sweet, in a very dumb way. My point is that he’s nice, but not to the extent people make it out to be.

Brothers: This has to do with Dick and Tim, but I still want to add it. Most people think that Tim’s favorite brother is Jason. This is not the case. Tim is the closest with Dick. After Jason died, whatever Dick didn’t do for Jason, he did for Tim. He even trained Tim.

Ps: Tim even grew up with Dick as Robin.

Plz my friends actually stopped finding me annoying since I can talk about something other than Dick Grayson

Let me get it out

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

I’ve seen a lot of people talk about jump b4 looking Grayson vs meticulously planning everything Grayson

And my final conclusion is

If dick is reeling from a loss (Donna, Bruce) he becomes callous and scarifies shit to the mission

If Dick is the main one in charge he is meticulously planning everything to make sure everyone is okay

If hes alone (not solo like alone, there is no one who gives enough of a fuck to catch him) he’s gonna rely on the spontaneity

.. Approved? Disapproved?

Discuss