Yes I'm The Party Healer, Yeah They All Use Me As A Fleshlight, No None Of Them Ever Ask Permission And

911 chats part idk

REBLOG IF NAZIS OFFEND YOU MORE THAN NIPPLES.

The Crows are to the Grishaverse as the Guardians of the Galaxy are to Marvel. Like all the avengers and shadow and bone characters are like “ahh the weight of world is on our shoulders” but all the crows and the guardians just want their goddamn money

I have too much time on my hands and I wanted to prove my point, so enjoy these guardians quotes replaced by the crows characters

Van Eck: [insert long villain monologue here]

Kaz: yeah, blah blah blah but WE’D LIKE TO GET PAID

Inej: The contact is making me wait.

Kaz: That’s just a negotiation tactic - trust me, this is my speciality. Whereas yours is more… stab, stab, stab

Nina: I have no need of the money

Kaz: Well great, more money for the rest of us!

Jesper: What’s that?

Wylan: Don’t touch that, it’s a bomb

Jesper: AND YOU JUST LEAVE IT LYING AROUND!???

Wylan: … well I was gonna put it in a box

Matthias: I’m a warrior, an assassin. I don’t dance.

Nina: Really? Well, in my country we have a legend about people like you. It’s called Footloose. And a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city of people with sticks up their butts that, dancing, well it’s the greatest thing there is.

Matthias: Who put the sticks up their butts? That is cruel.

Stiles: I've been really into cryptid currency lately.

Scott: You mean cryptocurrency?

Stiles: Um, no? *makes grabby hands*

Derek: *rolling his eyes while handing Stiles a 50*

4 /glimpse / 79 words

@jegulus-microfic

Regulus was so pathetic, standing behind the locker rooms after a quidditch match he didn’t play — just to catch a glimpse of James Potter.

He felt like he had been standing outside forever, crouched behind the building as every single player cleared out of the locker room except for James.

Regulus was about to give up, about to walk back to the castle himself, when a couple things happened at once. There was a sudden sound of water spraying from the showers, followed by the one sentence that had him finally running inside:

“You gonna join me, Black, or just keep standing out there?”

Pictures used for these Gifs are from this interesting little clips that some of you may already know. Here's the link...

My current aesthetic is twink!jared getting fucked by Jensen, a renowned Hollywood actor, for the first time on set, and literally seeing Jensen bulging out of his stomach

((how did you know I have a belly bulge kink???))

But, yes. Y e s. Jensen being this 50-year-old actor that’s known everywhere in Hollywood, and Jared, still in his teens, trying to make a name for himself but struggling to. 

Jensen so graciously accepts to mentor him, which Jay is over the moon for. He thinks Jensen see’s potential in him to be a great actor (and he does, to an extent), but all Jensen’s been dreaming of since he met the boy is how pretty the lanky boy would look down in his knees and with his mouth stretched out impossibly wide to fit in Jensen’s thick length down his throat. 

Little does Jensen know, that Jared’s a man-killer. A heartbreaker and a siren all in one. Jensen nearly cries when Jared beautifully sinks his lubed up cunt onto Jensen’s thickness. It’s better than any pussy he’s ever had, and Jared knows the look Jensen has as he pounds up hard and fast into teenage-pussy. It’s the face of an addict. Jensen’s done for from the very first fuck. 

Jensen loves how skinny Jared is, and how flexible he is. When he shifts at just the right angle, Jensen’s cock bulges through Jay’s belly. Jared loved watched his stomach extend. Looking Jensen in the eyes, Jared says:

“It looks like you got me pregnant, you dirty old man.”

💞🍒💞

I imagine Jay being a sex spoiled brat who gets everything he wants from his daddy, after a while. Jensen does everything for him, because the sex is so good, and he’d do anything for Jared if it means he gets to keep fucking into his cunt day after day. Poor Jensen is forever pussy-drunk. 

Imagine Jared kitten licking at Jensen’s cock slit and asking him to get him a big acting gig and Jensen saying yes, yes, yes because he knows Jay won’t continue if he denies him. Spoiled sugar baby Jared is a dream 🍭

Sirius: The only rule is no dating my brother

James: Got it

*Sirius finds out about Jegulus*

Sirius: I TOLD YOU NOT TO DATE MY BROTHER

James: You never said anything about your cousin

People always talk about the Kaz and Wylan parrells but have we ACTUALLY went in and talked about them??

They both lost their parents around the exact same time. In the books Kaz is one year older then Wylan and his dad died when he was nine. Marya had "died" whenever Wylan was eight years old. Both had their lives flipped upside for the worst in the SAME YEAR.

Both of them had their lives ruined by a man they put all their trust in and fought to get revenge for. With they BOTH did.

Kaz only fought back because he wanted revenge for Jordie. Jordie was his sole purpose for ticking and going after Pekka. Wylan's was Marya. His mother. Throughout the first book despite wanting to get back at his father, he still feels guilt and is more afraid of him then revengeful. But after he learns his mother is alive?? After he learns what his father did to her? That is his motive. That is what kept Wylan going. And Kaz knew that.

PWATER WATER WATER DORNWING REBIRTHING SO MANY PARALLELS OH MY GOD

Both Kaz and Wylan were rebirthed from the water. Kaz states that the child he used to be had died, and for Wylan's sake its the same. Wylan Van Eck died that night just like Kaz Retived did. The only difference was that Wylan didn't kill who he was. He just pushed him down.

(Fun fact to note that Wylan has his own scheming face as well others point out)

And the show does not hold back on these parallels as well but also shows how opposite these two are. Both of them hid so much of themselves from the person they loved and they BOTH admitted it in a momment of trust. Wylan asking Jepser what his passport says, and Kaz telling Inej about how pekka killed his brother. And even then they both still hide the full truth. But unlike Kaz, Wylan doesn't pull away from Jesper. Even if he doesn't tell him that he is a Van Eck. Wylan accepts the key. Kaz keeps his armor on.

Wylan had every chance to become Kaz, and Kaz had every chance to become Wylan.