My Sweet Teddy Bear. I Woke Him From A Nap In This Picture, Oops.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

You have reached the required conditions for acquiring your first familiar.

HOWEVER... There is a slight issue...

You gots no money. You know what that means, right?

You gotta go to the discount familiar store. Beggars can't be choosers, so it's basically up to chance which one you'll end up with...

Whichever familiar happens to be on the CLEARANCE_RACK at the time is what you'll end up with.

Once you've selected your familiar, you must now pick a stylish getup for them! Actually, a whole outfit would be expensive, let's just choose one singular accessory instead:

ok kids repeat after me

vinegar and bleach makes chlorine gas, which is highly toxic

ammonia and bleach makes chloramine, which is highly toxic

rubbing alcohol and bleach makes chloroform, which is highly toxic

hydrogen peroxide and vinegar makes peracetic/peroxyacetic acid, which can be highly corrosive

be careful about your cleaning products and dont get yourself injured or potentially killed ok

my spotify playlist masterlist for all your quarantine needs

for lazy hazy afternoons

for when it’s past midnight and you need to dance to something trashy and pop

for when you can’t remember why you are still here

for rainy nights where you think too deeply

for when you’re only fifty percent human and the other fifty percent is something more feral and monstrous

for anxiety attacks and breakdowns

for when you only want to listen to sad white men singing about sad things

for when you’re drinking soda and the bubbles make your nose tingle

for feeling weightless

for when you’re walking on an uneven pavement and the sun is beating down your neck

for simultaneous crying and bopping

for when one more sad song might make you scream

for your bruised and tender soul

for pretending you’re in an upbeat indie electropop band with your three best friends and you’re all gay

for unconventional alternative love songs

for when you need a reminder of what living feels like because everything feels grey

for pretending you can afford all the things you added to your cart on sephora

for when you’re breaking your own heart

for drifting off into another world at night

for when you’re feeling stuck but also hopeful but also tired but also excited

for when you need your heartbeat to slow back down

for believing in love again

for daydreaming on a hillside under a soft sunset

for when you realize she has the most beautiful smile and looking at it hurts

for when you need the warmest coziest hug

for feeling as small as dust and as infinite as the universe, all at once

for when your heart needs to feel soft and easy and happy

for seeing the person you’re in love with and realizing you need to let them go and start moving on

for when you feel like you’ve been set on fire

for putting on makeup in the morning even though it feels like there’s no point but also you just want to look really fucking cute for no reason

for when you need to be eased into pulling yourself together

for summer days laying outside on your front lawn daydreaming about lemonade

for pretending you’re a depressed mermaid who lives in the arctic ocean

for when you’re daydreaming about the future so that you can forget for a moment how unhappy you are

for being transported back to 2012 when you were trashy and emo and cringey as hell

for staring in the mirror in the dark and thinking about the experience of womanhood

for punching walls and smashing people’s heads in

for cutting fruit to make into a cobbler because fuck you want to eat something cozy and comforting then

for when things are … not going quite how you thought they would

for when your life feels like an actual movie and you need to soundtrack it

for unwinding from a stressful day

for when you feel like a ghost running through a forest while it’s raining and foggy

for when you actually yell back for the first time and the adrenaline pumps through your blood

for when it’s raining outside and you’re staring out the window longing to run in the rain but instead you’re stuck inside

for feeling like you’re right inside of a black hole

for when you’re anxiety says something stupid to you and for once you know it’s wrong and you fight back

for when you need to feel bigger than what you are in that moment

for when you put your trust in someone and you’re terrified

for feeling inexplicably sad and upset and lonely

for knowing it’s okay to cry

for when it’s late at night and you can’t stop thinking about him

for haunting unholy songs that help you pretend that you’re a demon

for breathing properly, just when it feels like you’ll never be able to again

for feeling unformed and unfinished and unknown

for almost being at peace but something is nagging at you

for just really needing to hear james blake’s voice

for when you love someone so much but you can’t talk to them because the words don’t come out

for being a teenager at the fucking-things-up-and-breaking-rules stage of a coming-of-age film

Oh gosh, I hate these things, but I’m not taking any chances.

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

So I either want to eat cookies in space, or I want to eat cookies MADE out of space.

your url shows what you want most in life

REBLOG IF YOU ARE MUSICAL TRASH

Nothing can tell u how trash i am for musicals

Readers, make sure you have all your favourite Ao3 fics downloaded.

Writers, make sure you have copies of all the fics you have posted on Ao3.

I don’t want to be alarming, but things could get really bad really fast. OTW shared this today on Twitter, and I'm a bit worried about it 😅

Ao3 is a non-profit organisation. If they have to start paying taxes, I have no idea what will happen.