G3nd3rflu1db1tch - Untitled

Your fifth most recent emoji is what your soulmate thinks about you

Having schizophrenia but being aware of when I’m hallucinating is such a fucking trip because just because I know I’m hallucinating doesn’t make the hallucinations any less horrifying.

The faces in the hydrangea bushes still make me sprint the rest of the way to my door. The calls, and whistles, and whispers still having my turning my headphones all the way up.

And currently the man standing in front of my bedroom door staring both directly into my soul and yet 1000 years away still makes me fear for my life as he would if he were real. But he isn’t, and I know he would either dissipate as I got closer to him or I would simply be able to reach though him and open the door if I so wished. But in my mind and in my heart I feel like if I tried to get up to go upstairs that he would stand, staring, his body and unmoving object in my path that I could do nothing about.

I know he is not real, but still he is there, and still I am scared.

Team SSS on Day 420

The sad part about my mom not posting on social media or really doing anything on it is that so many people are missing out on the absolute CUNT the woman serves on the daily.

Not like in the way she dresses but in like the way she ACTS. She is so sassy and it’s is so amazing. I’ll add more to this post as time goes on but right now there is one main thing in my mind that I just HAVE to put out there.

So I have a job. Which mean I make money. And my parents singed me up for a debit card. The plan was originally gonne be getting me a card with a limit of how much I can put on it, like a refillable visa gift card or something along those lines but they singed me up for a debit card instead because they didn’t really communicate beforehand.

So I have bad spending habits because of impulsivity and the fact that I have access to online shopping now. So over the span of three days I received 4 packages. I was in the car with my mom when we stopped at the mailbox and pulled one of them out and my response was very quickly “I don’t even remember what I bought” because I genuinely didn’t remember.

My mother reaction, no hesitation, was “you aren’t allowed to go online after taking your meds anymore” (referring to the very high power sleep meds I take because of chronic insomnia). I know reading it over text might not be as impactful to you guys but I was absolutely DYING laughing.

It got even better when the next day I got another package that I once again didn’t remember ordering and I SAID “yeah no I’m gonna start turning off my phone when I take my meds”

(Again you guys might not find this funny but I think it’s absolutely hilarious)

gay_irl

"you are one of gods strongest soldiers" i say, not even believing in either of those institutions

ah, the eternal dilemma.

((idk what I’m talking about 😃))

reblog if you think sign language should be taught as a language in schools.