The Fearmongering Around Medical Transition For Transmascs Will Never Not Be Upsetting To Me.

The fearmongering around medical transition for transmascs will never not be upsetting to me.

“you’re gonna look ugly as a man” “but you’re such a pretty girl, don’t change that” Wrong. You will look different after T, but you will look happy. You will probably grow hair and gain weight and look pretty different, and none of that is bad or makes you less desirable. You are going to look like you and that’s all that matters.

“T makes you angry” “you’re gonna be a scary man i won’t feel safe around you” Wrong. Testosterone does not “make” you angry. Messing with your hormones will mess with your emotions for sure, but you will not immediately become some scary predator when you start T. Being a man/masculine does not make you a threat, a predator, or inherently angry. That’s radfem shit.

“bottom growth is gross” “no one will want you with bottom growth” Wrong. Bottom growth is cool and a LOT of guys end up loving theirs a lot more than they thought they would. For a lot of people it is a desirable trait, there are people who find bottom growth hot and attractive. And! If you’re sure you don’t want it there’s things you can do to work around that, just talk to your provider.

“bottom surgery is super painful and not worth it” First off, call it phalloplasty, because that’s what you’re talking about. Second, yes it’s painful, it’s surgery. There are risks to it and complications can happen, but that’s true of any surgery. Phallo might not be for you, but it is life saving care for other folks. It is beautiful and should be talked about as life saving care and not as some afterthought thing that no one actually does.

Being transmasculine is a beautiful thing. Transitioning medically is not something every trans person wants, but if you notice yourself holding back for the reasons i’ve listed above (or similar) maybe reconsider.

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this isn't something that exclusively affects nonbinary people, but for reasons i'm gonna get into, we're disproportionately and the most obviously affected by this.

whether we'd like to admit it or not: the trans community has a problem with bioessentialism and is at times just as obsessed over genitals at birth as cis people are.

it becomes really obvious when you look at how nonbinary people are grouped into amab and afab, transmasc or transfem. for trans men, everyone assumes they were born with a vagina, for trans women, everyone assumes they were born with a penis. with those terms, it's easy for people to make assumptions about "where they came from", i.e. what genitals they were born with. of course in these ideas, there is no room for intersex experiences.

nonbinary is more vague and doesn't have "built-in" assumptions about AGAB or genitals at birth. and people hate that. i believe it's one of the main reasons why people are obsessed with dividing us into amab and afab.

but many people have realised that this isn't a good look, so instead they divide us into transmasc and transfem. if trans men are assumed to all be afab and have vaginas at birth, then so are all transmascs. of transfems are assumed to all be amab and have penises at birth, then so are all transfems. (note: this is not at all about people self-identifying as transmasc or transfem, but rather about people using them as collective descriptors.) nonbinary people are constantly confronted with questions like "are you transmasc or transfem?" by other trans people, trying to figure out "where we came from". nonbinary people confuse most people, and most people can't sit with that at all. transmasc and transfem as collective terms like this are considered less bad than amab and afab, because at least they don't refer to agab anymore, so we're not allowed to say anything. ignore the fact that these terms are misgendering many of us and painting a linear picture of the gender spectrum.

i'm very sure that this is also why people hate afab transfems and amab transmascs so much. if transmasc no longer automatically means afab, and transfem no longer automatically means amab, then these terms have supposedly "lost all meaning", because whatever will i do if i don't know what genitals someone was born with.

because let's be real, that's what the obsession with AGAB comes down to. you were born with either a vagina or a penis and that will shape all of your trans experiences. once again ignoring intersex people or any sort of diversity in people's upbringing. it's bioessentialism.

and because nonbinary as a label is free from agab assumptions, we're called by these extra terms that we may or may not identify with way more often. not only are we reduced to our bodies, we're also misgendered and/or consistently related back to our agab in the process.

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