What Is Up Y’all; Happy New Year! I Would Like To Make This Message Towards All The People In The OC/SI

““This world is far more complicated, rich and full of mystery than people think.””

— - homeless artist (Zettai Shonen)

Okay hear me out on this one

Cosplay your f/o

No seriously, cosplay them

Because then you’ll have their clothes to wear when you feel like you need them, maybe your f/o wears a necklace? You can wear it everyday! Do you imagine your f/o wearing a certain perfume or aftershave? Spray a tiny bit of it on the part of the costume you’re wearing (just be careful not to use too much)!

Seriously, choosing to cosplay my f/o was probably the best thing I did because it’s so comforting, trust me and try it out if you can!

Fandom: Oh my god! Character A and Character B are such a perfect ship! How can anyone not ship them together!?! uwu

Me, a self shipper who prefers shipping myself with Character A:

What's your take on 19 year olds trick of treating?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I’ll hand out candy to an uncostumed 48 year old man. i don’t give a single shit. i love halloween and want everyone to have a good time lmao.

imagine your f/o kissing your fingertips

PSA:

There is absolutely nothing wrong with going “screw canon!” and changing a thing that canon did that you don’t like in the universe where your s/i exists

what community is right for you?

hello! i thought this might be a good place to get started for resources. in my experience there are three large communities oriented toward a love of fictional characters, but it’s hard to tell where you might fit in best without more information. some people may fit in all three, and some may be drawn to only one.

the three communities i’m referring to are the selfship, fictoromantic/fictosexual and waifuist communities. they’ve all got their own internal sets of values and community culture. i’ve been involved in all three, so here’s what i’ve learned! this post will be updated with corrections as necessary.

selfshippers comprise a huge amount of those in relationships with fictional characters. the selfship community is very large, with the greatest portion of its presence on tumblr and deviantart. however, you’ll find selfshippers on many social media platforms.

selfship culture is a very nebulous thing because of the size of the selfship community. in general, selfshippers tend to treat their fictional relationships as media ships, and it varies from person to person AND ship to ship how serious any given commitment is. there are a good deal of minors in the community, as well as adults in their early and mid twenties. people older than that seem to be drawn to other communities, but obviously exceptions abound. there aren’t rules against polyamory.

fictoromantic/fictosexual communities are very different. in my experience the fict community is smaller and comprised of more adults, many over 25. fict communities usually treat these affections as an orientation rather than a lifestyle choice, in contrast to the other communities listed here. it seems many terms are shared with the selfship community (such as “fictional other”) but not always other things. ficts tend to be more serious about relationships to fictional characters, but that seriousness still varies from person to person, as there isn’t one accepted relationship model. there aren’t rules against polyamory, but some ficts do take offense to adults being interested in minor-age characters. the fict community is probably the smallest of the three, or at least has a very small tumblr presence.

waifuism is a little like selfship in that multiple people who consider themselves waifuists will inevitably disagree on a great deal. there are rules, and in my time i found rules are a very large part of any waifuist’s community experience, but they vary according to what community you’re in. because waifuism is usually perceived as a branch of anime culture, it tends to be pretty different from selfship OR fict communities. there are nearly no shared terms. attitudes about “3D” people range wildly, but such attitudes are generally a fair amount of discussion. the largest social media presences for waifuism are on reddit and on 4chan type boards. i only have experience with the two largest subreddits. polyamory is hotly debated here, as are many rules. depending on what particular community you’re in, people may be committed to the point of IRL celibacy or simply joking about a favorite character.

there’s certainly a lot going on when it comes to how people express their love and how they form communities. i’ve been deeply involved in these communities for about a year and a half, and i still get things wrong, so feel free to tell me about anything i should add or correct here. thanks for reading, and i hope it’s a helpful post!

In case you motherfuckers forgot, Tina Weymouth is one of the best bassists of all time and nobody gives her enough respect.

While watching some little kids, I discovered a kid-sized play structure that had a game with a roster of sapient characters but only in a parallel dimension where it was just me and the game, and the characters told me they existed as a way to bring joy to children through this game (which I'd never seen before), and they usually just talked with each other to pass the time.

hey! it’s been a while since i’ve written any resource posts, and this is a little more of a positivity post than a resource, but hopefully it will be helpful.

i’ve seen a lot of selfshippers/fictos talking about why and when these practices are acceptable and when they “cross the line.” in my opinion, i think some of these statements can create an uncomfortable or even implicitly hostile environment for certain mentally ill selfshippers and fictos, as well as reinforce ideas the community is trying to fight. these statements, even given various nuances, boil down to a few core ideas a number of people in the community seem to hold. the idea seems to be that “selfship is OK because it is just for fun/a coping mechanism, and selfshippers can still date in real life. because selfship is just for fun/a coping mechanism, taking it too seriously inherently means a loss of touch with reality, which is a personal fault.”

my greatest concern with this has been that it is potentially rather dismissive of the feelings of mentally ill selfshippers who experience psychosis. such people DO have a loss of touch with reality, through no fault of their own - and for many, this is something they cannot “fix,” even with medication or therapy. if one’s psychosis influences them to believe in or experience something that isn’t objectively real, but this belief or experience does not cause them distress or even improves their quality of life, it is not the responsibility of individuals without the condition to denigrate their experiences or urge them to “fix” their psychosis. in a community which is vocally supportive of mentally ill people, it is the responsibility of the members of that community to support the experiences of all mentally ill people. selfshippers and fictos with psychotic conditions are just as valid in their feelings as any of the rest of us, even if their conditions cause them to experience their f/os in a way we do not.

in addition, it isn’t fair to assert that selfship is okay because it’s “just” a coping mechanism, “just” for fun, or because all fictos/selfshippers prefer (and will abandon the practice for) a “real partner.” if it improves one’s quality of life and harms no one, there is no need for further justification, regardless of whether or not it fits with what outsiders consider “normal.” selfship (and fictosexuality) is not only okay when it’s easy to justify to outsiders. appealing to standards of “normalcy” only creates acceptable targets - “we are okay because we are normal, but those people who disagree with us are not normal, and therefore not okay.” that, ironically enough, is the exact logic on which “cringe culture” operates. you do not have to be “normal” to be worthy of respect and understanding, ever.

please be open to respecting experiences you may not understand, particularly for those whose experiences are already highly stigmatized. to all the “weird” selfshippers and fictos - those of you with psychosis, those of you who take it “too seriously,” those of you who never want a real life partner - you are just fine the way you are, and you don’t need to change for anyone. as long as you’re happy and your selfships/ficto relationships make you happy, you have nothing to worry about and no one here to answer to. live your life according to your own needs and standards.