Latest Posts by frogbirb - Page 6
Surrounded by incompetents. You are the only one who has not tested my ire.
Guy who’s just been arrested for multiple counts of theft: i must ensure the people of Facebook know of my crimes
Shout out professor rj lupin for not flipping absolute shit when he sees harry with the marauders map in the hallway that night. i seriously cant stop laughing he could have gone oh FUUUUUCKK?!?!!? but hes got like plus 15 repression and a proficiency in Bullshitting so he just says ‘hmm yes yes oh is this a? a zonkos? haha cool.’ Legend.
BONUS:
“Ten points to Dumbledore!”
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Now that I have your attention I would like to recommend you guys one of the most talented Jily writers I’ve ever read (and i read a lot of Jily), @petals-to-fish . Read Petals’ stuff, you can thank me later!
Really... such an amazing writer 💕
Preparing for trouble ✨
harry potter fancied cedric diggory reblog if you agree
james: knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. but wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
sirius: philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie.
remus:
remus: common sense is knowing that ketchup isn’t a damn smoothie you twat
Police: You're under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.
Sirius: Wait, what do you mean THREE?
Police: Yes...Three.
Sirius: Oh, my God-- What the fuck!?
Police: Sir?
Sirius: JAMES FUCKING FELL OFF.
Good Omens and the Forbidden book chap 5
Welcome to Herbology class by Mr Crowley
Previous chap
jasper looked at bella like this every time she turned to stare at the cullens in the lunchroom. tell me i’m wrong
Sometimes when I’m sad I like to imagine what would happen in a crossover universe between Discworld and Harry Potter, and what Granny Weatherwax would make of their style of magic.
But then I think about more important things, like what would have happened if Granny Weatherwax ever met Albus Dumbledore, and I can’t help but feel a whole lot of shit could have been avoided if he’d had a good clip round the ear and a strong talking to about the whole “my hands are tied” bullshit that enabled years of abuse and suffering at the hands of adults in a position of authority over young, vulnerable people.
Like oh, this spell requires the bond of blood to keep him safe, all right. So that just means we’re not going to hold these adults accountable for their torment and abuse? I think the entire fuck not, Albus.
Snape is a double agent who is actually working for the greater good. All right, but that doesn’t stop him from being an absolute fucking shit weasel who shouldn’t be around children until he learns to control himself and works out his issues in a safe and sane manner, what the fuck, Albus.
You have an entire school system that ascribes to ideas of inherent morality when in fact this is a thing that needs to be taught? Well no wonder there’s one house in particular that keeps going off the rails, you keep telling them they’re evil. Tell people something for long enough they’ll start to believe you. There’s nothing wrong with being selfish and cunning, sometimes that’s what it takes to survive. Teach them how to use those traits for good. As strength. My land, my home, my people (not my daughter, you bitch) how dare you try to hurt them. Teach them, Albus, you have to bloody teach them and realize that evil isn’t born. It’s made. In a thousand small deplorable ways. And it starts with treating people like things and I cannot be having with this.
Of course there’s also the other flipside to this thought process, which is imagining Gytha “Nanny” Ogg shouting “watcher Molly” as she thumps Bellatrix Lestrange on the back of the head with a cauldron, and drops her like a fucking stone. Later they’ll sit together and grieve, later there will be time to pick up the pieces and mourn. But for now there are things to fight for, people to keep alive. And people to keep from doing what they shouldn’t ever have to do, so you find a way to do it for them, by hook, crook or blunt force trauma.
And because my head wont let go of this thought:
“You always was a right little miss,” she said, taking a puff from her pipe and resettling her weight with a hefty bounce as the younger witch struggled to get out from under Nanny’s considerable girth. “Giving yourself airs and graces and such. Pretending you was too good to scrub a pot. Well, let me tell you something, Mistress Lestrange, you ain’t fit for nothing no more except maybe a noose. And if I had my way that might be the end of it. But we don’t do things like that no more, we don’t rule by blood.”
“Then you’re weak,” Lestrange shot back, still struggling to claw her way free. “A weak, old woman with nothing left but tricks up your fat sleeve.”
Nanny puffed in silence for a few more moments, then reached up her sleeve. “And your wand, dearie. Walnut is it? With a dragon heartstring core? Very nice, painting it black was a bit much, but you always were fond of your dramatics.”
She pulled out her own wand, holding it out under Bellatrix’s nose, whose face went cross eyed and then wide with panic.
“You know, I’ve only ever heard of Priori Incantatem,” she said, puffing on the end of her pipe until the pit glowed cherry red then white hot and she exhaled smoke like a dragon, “but I wasn’t about to risk it, not in front of all those kiddies. But I reckon now might be a good time…”
the books vs the films
Sirius’s cave in Goblet of Fire
More like GRIFT-indor amirite 🦁 Also this week on the Patreon comic we have Kevin paying a visit to the kitchen elves, sign up for $1 to read it: www.patreon.com/emilyscartoons https://www.instagram.com/p/B9d-lRMntb4/?igshid=qxsmp24dngnj
I mean, he did get the job he wanted………………from a certain point of view.
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The Marauders
(For my favourite Marauders birthday)
Shaun of the Dead is literally the current British reaction to the coronavirus.
Good morning everyone
This show is wild as fuck
The (un)holy trinity of rock songs that sound like cartoon characters:
I saw the future. There were so few bees left that they cross-bred beekeepers with them so they could better connect with them.
I was taking a test to identify plants (I won because some dude thought pineapples were berries) and after that I met a beekeeper who worked inside of a giant glass beehive and had little antennas and a dope ass beard.
I’m v offended I haven’t seen some of those in the rip vine videos so I made my own
The bigger your shoes the bigger your dick, the bigger your car the smaller your dick. No wonder people are so afraid of clowns.
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