They Held Hands

After months, the villain finds the hero, but upon arriving at his home, he discovers the hero in a stained robe, baby food splattered, huge dark circles under his eyes, and a non-stop crying baby. The only thing the hero says is, “My wife left me.”

Dude I regret taking intro to business. Teacher showed a PowerPoint and look at this silly ass emoji

Ridiculous "Metropolis" AU where throughout the plot Joh Fredersen is having a real-time meltdown on the social media platform he bought.

Anytime i see a bunch of pride flags i have to restrain myself from saying "where mexico" bc i doubt anyone will know I'm referencing this

This is possibly one of the most cursed things I will post here..

How did this happen? I was talking about how much I liked Mort by Terry Pratchett and one of my discord friends thought I was talking about Mort from the Madagascar movies/shows.

I present to you king Julian as Death and Mort as Mort

I'm only posting this because discord is broken and isn't letting me send images.

Wanted to add Albert but couldn't find a good reference and my faceblind ass can't just figure out his face so yeah

Also enjoy my addition to the chaos

society could be built on selecting random women to be put in a blender and pulverized monthly and tiktok would be like “how to SLAY the blender look! if you don’t want to get blended you’re just a pick me. getting blended is an act of rebellion in our society. how to dress more blendercore. trans women will never know what it feels like to be worried about getting selected for the blender every month (even though trans women get blended more often than cis women). trans men are traitors because they don’t get selected for the blender anymore (even though they do). actually women are more biologically suited to be blended because our soft frail bodies are easier on the blades and our brains are full of goopy feminine emotions and fluff so there is nothing of value lost when they’re crushed into a chunky red liquid. it is an act of divine femininity to be blended.”

“oh yes, i am very reasonable and normal about this subject!!”

*proceeds to mass reblog any related content*

Gah, me too

He had found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him with a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea. The way it functioned was very interesting. When the Drink button was pressed it made an instant but highly detailed examination of the subject’s taste buds, a spectroscopic analysis of the subject’s metabolism and then sent tiny experimental signals down the neural pathways to the taste centres of the subject’s brain to see what was likely to go down well. However, no one knew quite why it did this because it invariably delivered a cupful of liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea. The Nutri-Matic was designed and manufactured by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation whose complaints department now covers all the major landmasses of the first three planets in the Sirius Tau Star system.

ah, the not-quite-tea saga. my favourite.