How To Make Your Writing Sound Less Stiff Part 2

How to make your writing sound less stiff part 2

Part 1

Again, just suggestions that shouldn’t have to compromise your author voice, as I sit here doing my own edits for a WIP.

1. Crutch words

Specifically when you have your narrator taking an action instead of just… writing that action. Examples:

Character wonders/imagines/thinks/realizes

Character sees/smells/feels

Now not all of these need to be cut. There’s a difference between:

Elias stops. He realizes they’re going in the wrong direction.

And

Elias takes far too long to realize that it’s not horribly dark wherever they are

Crutch words are words that don’t add anything to the sentence and the sentence can carry on with the exact same meaning even if you delete it. Thus:

Elias stops. They’re going in the wrong direction.

I need a word in the second example, whether it’s realizes, understands, or notices, unless I rework the entire sentence. The “realization” is implied by the hard cut to the next sentence in the first example.

2. Creating your own “author voice”

Unless the tone of the scene demands otherwise, my writing style is very conversational. I have a lot of sentence fragments to reflect my characters’ scatterbrained thoughts. I let them be sarcastic and sassy within the narration. I leave in instances of “just” (another crutch word) when I think it helps the sentence. Example:

…but it’s just another cave to Elias.

Deleting the “just” wouldn’t hit as hard or read as dismissive and resigned.

I may be writing in 3rd person limited, but I still let the personalities of my characters flavor everything from the syntax to metaphor choices. It’s up to you how you want to write your “voice”.

I’ll let dialogue cut off narration, like:

Not that he wouldn’t. However, “You can’t expect me to believe that.”

Sure it’s ~grammatically incorrect~ but you get more leeway in fiction. This isn’t an essay written in MLA or APA format. It’s okay to break a few rules, they’re more like guidelines anyway.

3. Metaphor, allegory, and simile

There is a time and a place to abandon this and shoot straight because oftentimes you might not realize you’re using these at all. It’s the difference between:

Blinding sunlight reflects off the window sill

And

Sunlight bounces like high-beams off the window sill

It’s up to you and what best fits the scene.

Sometimes there’s more power in not being poetic, just bluntly explicit. Situations like describing a character’s battle wounds (whatever kind of battle they might be from, whether it be war or abuse) don’t need flowery prose and if your manuscript is metaphor-heavy, suddenly dropping them in a serious situation will help with the mood and tonal shift, even if your readers can’t quite pick up on why immediately.

Whatever the case is, pick a metaphor that fits the narrator. If my narrator is comparing a shade of red to something, pick a comparison that makes sense.

Red like the clouds at sunset might make sense for a character that would appreciate sunsets. It’s romantic but not sensual, it’s warm and comforting.

Red like lipstick stains on a wine glass hints at a very different image and tone.

Metaphor can also either water down the impact of something, or make it so much worse so pay attention to what you want your reader to feel when they read it. Are you trying to shield them from the horror or dig it in deep?

4. Paragraph formatting

Nothing sticks out on a page quite like a line of narrative all by itself. Abusing this tactic will lessen its effect so save single sentence paragraphs for lines you want to hammer your audiences with. Lines like romantic revelations, or shocking twists, or characters giving up, giving in. Or just a badass line that deserves a whole paragraph to itself.

I do it all the time just like this.

Your writing style might not feature a bunch of chunky paragraphs to emphasize smaller lines of text (or if you’re writing a fic on A03, the size of the screen makes many paragraphs one line), but if yours does, slapping a zinger between two beefy paragraphs helps with immersion.

5. Polysyndeton and Asyndeton

Not gibberish! These, like single-sentence paragraphs, mix up the usual flow of the narrative that are lists of concepts with or without conjunctions.

Asyndeton: We came. We saw. We conquered. It was cold, grey, lifeless.

Polysyndeton: And the birds are out and the sun is shining and it might rain later but right now I am going to enjoy the blue sky and the puffy white clouds like cotton balls. They stand and they clap and they sing.

Both are for emphasis. Asyndeton tends to be "colder" and more blunt, because the sentence is blunt. Polysyntedon tends to be more exciting, overwhelming.

We came and we saw and we conquered.

The original is rather grim. This version is almost uplifting, like it's celebrating as opposed to taunting, depending on how you look at it.

—

All of these are highly situational, but if you’re stuck, maybe try some out and see what happens.

*italicized quotes are from ENNS, the rest I made up on the spot save for the Veni Vidi Vici.

Writing Prompt #2949

"We...we survived?"

"What the fuck do we do now? I really thought we were going to end up in the die trying part."

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freakinfiction

10 months ago

Show, Don't Tell (Unless You Want to Sound Like Me): A How-To and How-Not-To Guide

Hey, my cute little Muses! It's your favorite (or maybe not) self-proclaimed advice-giver who still can’t get her own writing life together. Today, we’re tackling the age-old advice: “Show, don’t tell.” A rule that’s as confusing as trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions. I mean, who needs those, right?

Why "Show, Don’t Tell" is Like the Holy Grail (and Why You Keep Dropping It)

"Show, don’t tell" is like that elusive treasure we all chase in our writing journeys. It’s supposed to make our stories vivid, our characters relatable, and our readers engaged. Instead, it often leaves us feeling like we’re playing literary Twister with our brains. So, let’s dive into this mess, shall we?

When to Show (Because Apparently, Descriptions Are Fun)

Imagine your character is sad. (No, not just because they’re reading my blog.) Instead of saying, “John was sad,” you could show it:

- Tell: John was sad.

- Show: John slumped on the park bench, staring at the ground as if the answers to life’s miseries were etched in the cracks of the sidewalk.

See? Now, John’s sadness is palpable. You can almost feel the weight of his despair. Or maybe you just feel the weight of your own struggles trying to craft such sentences. Either way, it's a win-win.

When to Tell (Because Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That)

Sometimes, you just need to get to the point. Not every moment needs to be a cinematic masterpiece. Here’s a hint: if you’re bogging down your story with endless details, you might be overdoing it.

- Tell: It was a cold night.

- Show: The icy wind howled through the leafless trees, its chill biting at the skin like a thousand tiny needles, making every breath visible in the frosty air.

Yeah, I know. The second one sounds fancy, but do we really need a weather report? Unless your character is battling the elements, a simple “It was a cold night” will do. Save your energy for the scenes that matter. Like the one where your protagonist has an existential crisis (which, let’s be honest, is probably inspired by your own).

The Balance (Or How I Pretend to Know What I’m Doing)

Finding the balance between showing and telling is like finding the perfect coffee-to-milk ratio. Too much milk and it’s bland; too little, and it’s just bitter. The trick is knowing when to be a barista of words and when to just dump the coffee and move on.

Here’s a worthy example (and by worthy, I mean it won’t make you want to claw your eyes out):

- Show: The corners of her mouth twitched upward as she watched the puppy stumble over its own feet, a laugh bubbling up from her chest.

- Tell: She was amused.

Both have their place. Use the first when you want the reader to be in the moment with the character. Use the second when you just need to convey information quickly and get on with your life (and your story).

The Overuse and Underuse (Because Moderation is for the Weak)

Let’s be real. We all either overuse or underuse this rule. Some writers show everything, turning their stories into long-winded epics that make "War and Peace" look like a quick read. Others tell everything, creating a narrative that’s as exciting as a grocery list.

Final Thoughts (Aka My Rambling Conclusion)

“Show, don’t tell” is crucial, but like most writing advice, it’s not a one-size-fits-all. Understand it, play with it, and most importantly, don’t stress over it. Remember, even Shakespeare probably had days where he was like, “To show, or not to show, that is the question.”

So, go forth, write brilliantly, and remember: if all else fails, you can always come back here for more advice (or just to feel better about your own writing skills by comparison).Happy writing!

Until next time,

Muse Advice Corner (a.k.a. the person who has way too many notebooks)

P.S. If this post didn’t help, at least you can say you survived reading it. That’s an achievement in itself.

Your feedback on my blog would mean the world to me! If my posts make you smile, why not fuel my caffeine addiction? Any support is super appreciated, even a comment too. Got any topics you want me to dive into? Just holler. Need some custom writing prompts? Hit me up anytime! :⁠-⁠) Also I'm thinking of starting a writing community do tell me what you think about it (⁠◠⁠‿⁠◕⁠)

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freakinfiction

7 months ago

50 Worldbuilding Setting ideas for your fantasy book

Cities and Settlements

1. Capital City - The central hub of political power and culture in the realm.

2. Harbor Town - A bustling port city crucial for trade and naval activities.

3. Elf Village - A serene settlement hidden within a forest, home to elven inhabitants.

4. Dwarven Mines - An underground city where dwarves mine precious metals and gems.

5. Nomad Camp - A temporary settlement for wandering tribes and traders.

6. Market Square - The commercial heart of any major city, filled with vendors and artisans.

7. Sky City - A floating metropolis held aloft by magic or advanced technology.

Natural and Enchanted Locations

8. Mystic Forest - A dense, magical woodland filled with ancient trees and mythical creatures.

9. Enchanted Lake - A serene body of water with mystical properties.

10. Secret Cave - A hidden cavern that might contain treasure or danger.

11. Dark Swamp - A treacherous wetland often home to dark magic and creatures.

12. Forbidden Desert - A vast, arid expanse known for its harsh conditions and ancient secrets.

13. Floating Island - A landmass suspended in the sky, often home to unique flora and fauna.

14. Hidden Valley - A secluded, fertile valley protected from the outside world.

15. Charmed Meadows - Peaceful fields imbued with protective enchantments.

Magical and Supernatural Places

16. Wizard’s Tower - The abode of powerful sorcerers, filled with arcane knowledge.

17. Sacred Temple - A place of worship and spiritual significance, often protected by divine magic.

18. Haunted Castle - An ancient fortress inhabited by ghosts or malevolent spirits.

19. Necromancer’s Crypt - The lair of a dark sorcerer who practices necromancy.

20. Oracle’s Sanctuary - A holy site where oracles deliver prophecies and visions.

21. Magical Academy - An institution where young sorcerers learn the art of magic.

22. Alchemist’s Workshop - A place where alchemists experiment and create potions and elixirs.

23. Time Portal - A gateway to different eras, allowing travel through time.

Dangerous and Uncharted Areas

24. Ancient Ruins - The remnants of a once-great civilization, often hiding secrets or dangers.

25. Dragon’s Lair - The home of a fearsome dragon, filled with treasure and peril.

26. Cursed Forest - A dark, haunted woodland where malevolent forces dwell.

27. Battlefield - The site of a significant past conflict, often haunted by the spirits of the fallen.

28. Volcanic Wasteland - A desolate, fiery landscape wrought with volcanic activity.

29. Giant’s Keep - A massive fortress built and inhabited by giants.

30. Pirate Cove - A hidden inlet where pirates gather to plan their exploits.

31. Shadow Realm - A dark, parallel dimension filled with malevolent entities.

32. Frosty Tundra - A vast, icy wasteland where few dare to venture.

Cultural and Social Hubs

33. Royal Palace - The lavish residence of the ruling monarch and their court.

34. Thieves’ Guild - A secretive organization of thieves and rogues.

35. Warrior’s Training Grounds - A facility where soldiers and heroes train for battle.

36. Arena of Champions - A grand coliseum where warriors compete in combat.

37. Goblin Market - A chaotic and colorful marketplace run by goblins, offering exotic goods.

38. Hermit’s Hut - The secluded home of a wise hermit, often sought for advice.

39. Secret Hideout - A concealed refuge used by rebels or outlaws.

Mystical and Legendary Sites

40. Ethereal Gardens - Magical gardens with rare plants and enchanting beauty.

41. Celestial Observatory - A tower dedicated to studying the stars and celestial events.

42. Sanctuary of Lost Knowledge - A hidden library containing ancient and forbidden texts.

43. Sunken Ruins - The underwater remnants of a lost civilization.

44. Gryphon Nesting Grounds - A mountainous area where gryphons make their nests.

45. Spiral Staircase - An enigmatic, seemingly endless staircase leading to unknown depths.

46. Giant’s Keep - A colossal fortress built and inhabited by giants.

47. Protean Plains - A region where the landscape constantly changes, reshaped by powerful magic or ancient curses.

Adventurous and Explorative Spots

48. Treasure Hunter’s Camp - A gathering spot for explorers seeking lost relics.

49. Relic Seeker’s Cave - A cave rumored to contain powerful artifacts.

50. Explorer’s Outpost - A base for adventurers preparing for expeditions into unknown territories.

***

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50 Worldbuilding Setting Ideas For Your Fantasy Book

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freakinfiction

7 months ago

Writing Reference: A Historical Menu

Still Life with Nuts, Candy and Flowers (detail)
Clara Peeters
1611

Origin — Food — Drink

1900 — tacos, quiche, schwarma, pizza, osso bucco, paella, tuna, goulash, hamburger, mousse, borscht, grapefruit, éclair, chips, bouillabaisse, mayonnaise, ravioli, crêpes, consommé — Coca Cola, soda water, riesling

1800 — spaghetti, soufflé, bechamel, ice cream, kipper, chowder, sandwich, jam, meringue, hors d‘oeuvre, welsh rabbit — tequila, seltzer, whisky

1700 — avocado, paté, muffin, vanilla, mincemeat, pasta, salmagundi, yoghurt, kedgeree — gin, port, champagne, brandy, sherbet

1600 — omelette, litchi, tomato, curry, chocolate, banana, macaroni, caviar, pilav, anchovy, maize, potato, turkey, artichoke, scone — tea, sherry, coffee, sillabub

1500 — marchpane (marzipan), whiting, offal, melon, pineapple, mushroom, salmon, partridge

Middle English — venison, pheasant, crisp, cream, bacon, biscuit, oyster, toast, pastry, jelly, ham, veal, mustard, beef, mutton, brawn, sauce, potage, broth, herring, meat, cheese — muscatel, rhenish (rhine wine), claret, ale

Old English — cucumber, mussel, butter, fish, bread — beer, wine, water

The evolution of terms for food and drink is an interesting reflection of the history of cultural contact between English-speaking countries and the rest of the world (G. Hughes, 1988).

Source ⚜ Food History ⚜ Writing Notes & References ⚜ Word Lists

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freakinfiction

3 weeks ago

Many years after the evil overlord was deafeated by the forces of the light, there are whispers rumors that the evil overlord has secretly returned to his citadel. You know immediately it could only be an imposter, as you are in fact the evil overlord, living a peaceful simple life in exile.

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freakinfiction

6 months ago

hot artists don't gatekeep

I've been resource gathering for YEARS so now I am going to share my dragons hoard

Floorplanner. Design and furnish a house for you to use for having a consistent background in your comic or anything! Free, you need an account, easy to use, and you can save multiple houses.

Comparing Heights. Input the heights of characters to see what the different is between them. Great for keeping consistency. Free.

Magma. Draw online with friends in real time. Great for practice or hanging out. Free, paid plan available, account preferred.

Smithsonian Open Access. Loads of free images. Free.

SketchDaily. Lots of pose references, massive library, is set on a timer so you can practice quick figure drawing. Free.

SculptGL. A sculpting tool which I am yet to master, but you should be able to make whatever 3d object you like with it. free.

Pexels. Free stock images. And the search engine is actually pretty good at pulling up what you want.

Figurosity. Great pose references, diverse body types, lots of "how to draw" videos directly on the site, the models are 3d and you can rotate the angle, but you can't make custom poses or edit body proportions. Free, account option, paid plans available.

Line of Action. More drawing references, this one also has a focus on expressions, hands/feet, animals, landscapes. Free.

Animal Photo. You pose a 3d skull model and select an animal species, and they give you a bunch of photo references for that animal at that angle. Super handy. Free.

Height Weight Chart. You ever see an OC listed as having a certain weight but then they look Wildly different than the number suggests? Well here's a site to avoid that! It shows real people at different weights and heights to give you a better idea of what these abstract numbers all look like. Free to use.

312K notes View Post

freakinfiction

1 year ago

You run a café on the edge of life and death. Souls who have been departed from their bodies temporarily, such as in comas or near-death experiences, can relax in your quaint cafe for as long as they need before they can either return to their bodies or begin their journey to the afterlife.

23K notes View Post

freakinfiction

5 years ago