What I Think Each Batfamily Member Eats In A Day:

What I think each Batfamily member eats in a day:

Bruce: anything Alfred prepares. Something super dense in protein and fats that follows his detailed nutrition plan to support his vigilante activities. Taste is secondary. He burnt off his tastebuds years ago during a training exercise.

Jason: Diners or takeout. Balances it with a fruit. He knows the best places in Gotham where it's cheap and filling where he can eat his weight's worth of food and no one is glancing at his laptop where he is definitely NOT orchestrating any illegal activities. He does know how to cook a few basic things like eggs but he's got things to do and he'll cook when he has peace. Except. It's him so he doesn't do peace. Now if you throw him in the tundra or a difficult terrain? He'll be able to find something and grill it to cook it properly but otherwise, he's not going to bother.

Tim: he lives in a houseboat. He never considered the kitchen in his renovation and now the stove got replaced with a Bunsen burner to test samples he found on a crime site so he has no place to cook anymore. The cupboards are just makeshift armory and have like first aid kits, menus for takeout even though the delivery driver has sworn not to waddle in the middle of the marina with Tim's noisy neighbors and Tim's sketchy house that just looks slightly off to a civilian but Tim tips well so what can the poor lad do. There's only one cupboard dedicated to food and it's Zesti cans, Dick's nutrition drinks because Dick swears by them, and dog treats for strays and to bribe Titus. I don't think he ever learnt how to cook but he will figure it out if ever ends up in that situation where he needs to.

Stephanie: ramen with veggies and eggs thrown in for nutrition, Mac and cheese, anything basic with a skillet. She had to take care of herself when Crystal couldn't and her father didn't. She is highly self sufficient so she learns by watching Barbara or any YouTube tutorials for nutrition packed foods that taste good and are easy to make.

Cass: a pan to her is better as weapon to take down a mob. Food though is a rare indulgence she gets to keep so she goes to different places to try out different dishes. She doesn't cook but she likes to watch Steph hum while she's cooking and her body sways-dances contentedly to 90s punk rock.

Dick: whenever he gets time, he meal preps the quickest meals ever. Stuffs everything he made in the freezer for like three-six months if not longer because he'll forget. Is it probably expired? Maybe, but his stomach has withstood much worse. He'll have a bunch of nutrition bars and those meal replacement nutrition drinks stocked. He's used to cooking in bulk and the lesson in cooking is: if it tastes bad, you aren't adding enough herbs and spices. Luckily for him, he can store dried herbs and spices in airtight containers and use them for months.

Duke: home cooked meals with food that ISN'T seasoned by a former MI6 British butler. These are family meals made with love and care. He is living his life.

Damian: when he first came to Gotham, he ate whatever Alfred made though he did complain like a fussy kid. He still eats everything and values the high nutrition density but he will sneak in extra pepper and salt and make requests occasionally for halwa to sate his sweet tooth.

Barbara: no one taught her how to cook and she and her father ate takeout while he went through his case files and she listened on the police scanner and called in the tip lines to help solve cases pre-batgirl. She learnt how to cook during college because surviving on a diet of just pizza and ramen wasn't sustainable as Batgirl and she values being able to do things for herself. After becoming Oracle, she pushed harder to learn how to cook very well but even if she knows how to cook now, she is still bad at avoiding takeout (if she's not forgetting meals in favor of working that is).

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after patrolling, unwinding in a diner somewhere ...

throw the man a bone batman geez

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Are YOU keeping your chicks warm through the winter? Why we should take notes from Bats on childcare

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fractalflowers

1 month ago

Oh man I gotta do a fic about this

that alternate ending version of Under the Red Hood (2010) where Talia gives Damian to Jason for some ungodly reason always makes me laugh because Jason is like. I'm going to turn Bruce's son into something horrible just to spite him and says this while holding an infant that can't be more than a month old, like. no, Jay, you're gonna get two days into surrogate fatherhood before your instincts take over and you're finding a better safe house in a better neighborhood so you can build a proper nursery and get Damian into a proper pre-K when he's older. the pit can't erase the fact you died trying to save the mother who gave you up or the fact that a mother has just given up her son to you. and by the time any of that gets through your red fiberglass skull, you'll find yourself standing in the grocery store deciding whether you should buy Dami a bat stuffie just to be funny

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fractalflowers

3 weeks ago

this is the baby they insisted was a threat :(

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fractalflowers

1 month ago

Robin #67

Peak brotherism

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fractalflowers

3 weeks ago

Just To Make A Point, Every Time I Finished A Panel Of This I Would Export It As A PNG On The Perceptual

Just to make a point, every time I finished a panel of this I would export it as a PNG on the perceptual setting and use it as a color reference for the next panel

IT'S BAD

PLEASE CHECK YOUR COLOR SETTINGS

EDIT: If you're still having problems, it might help to switch from "Save/Save as" to "Export (as a) Single Layer". Just. Make SURE the box labeled "Expression Color" is set to RGB. I've been messing with this all day, and it looks like this combination of settings will allow exported PNGs to maintain their colors perfectly. To you. So far both Discord and Toyhouse still only display desaturated images and I cannot for the life of me figure out why

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fractalflowers

2 weeks ago

I always wonder if Clark has accidentally called Bruce by a Midwestern pet name without realizing

Bruce: Superman

Clark working on something: yes darlin

Bruce*burning bright red*: uhmm.... M-Mission reports

Clark, oblivious: what's that doll?

Bruce gay panic Wayne: nothing.... doesn't matter

*Smoke bombs away*

Clark finally turn around: weird. what was that about

Later that night in bed Clark wakes up in a cold sweat realizing what he's done.

Clark: Oh no. He's gonna kill me

_____

Bruce still on the floor 6hrs later: you don't understand Alfred. That midwest charm. It's psychological warfare.

Alfred so done with this gay shit: I only asked if you want tea, Master Wayne. However I now realize that nothing can quite quench your thirst

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fractalflowers

3 weeks ago

Help choose a pairing!

Monsters at Heart/Under Star Filled Skies fans, I'm stuck. Please let me know, should I give Tim one very sweet love interest or three all working together to support him? I can't decide and it's delaying the chapter

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fractalflowers

1 month ago

I ship it so hard

Even older Timkon art

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fractalflowers

1 month ago

Oh no my heart 💔💔💔

Magic is a fickle thing, so when the things go down the hill for the Batfamily, and they accidentally (temporarily) regain a copy of little Jason in his Robin era, they both delighted and confused.

Naturally, no one really minds getting Jaybin for a day - Bruce, Alfred, Dick and Barbara all circle around the lost child, talking, offering anything and everything, hugging and kissing his freckled cheeks. Those family members who didn't know him before are no less enamoured. He is polite, nothing like a brash boy they always imagined him to be. He listens to Tim curiously, legs tucked under his chin, happily calls Cass and Steph his big sisters, helps Damian with taking care of animals, and endlessly giggles at Duke's jokes.

Everything is so... nice. What they are worried about, is their Jason's reaction. For the most of it, they expect him to be mad. Offended. Maybe frustrated.

When Jason stumbles inside the Batcave, freezing on the doorstep at the sight of himself, much younger and bubblier, everyone is silent. Dick coughs awkwardly, almost imagining what could happen, and tries to soften a blow:

"Little Wing--"

But there is no need for that. Not really.

Because their Jason stares at little Robin with delight. In awe, even. His whole face softens, and he slowly steps closer, reaching out for a kid.

"Hey, kiddo."

The sheer vulnerability in his voice, confuses others even more.

Jason stares at a kid as if he sees something so dear and lost, and it is strangely baffling. His smiles grow wider when the Second Robin shyly waves at him.

"Come here," Jason encourages him. Once the kid climbs in his arms, he whispers in the crown of his head: "Welcome home, little hero."

And suddenly, it all makes sense.

Because, of course, Jason loves and loved this child.

After all, it is the same one, who he spent protecting from the evil tongues of his own family for years.

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