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Get To Know Me Better: Last/Current

Tagged: @the-ever-chaos-collective (Thank you~ ☺️ 💞💕)

Last song: Gesaffelstein - OPR I’ve been obsessed with this one ever since I heard the experience of listening to it described as “exactly what it feels like to drive to 7-Eleven for cigarettes and gas at, like, 3:30 in the morning when you have clinical anxiety” lmao... Is it? I wouldn’t know. But it IS a Certified Banger™ imho. 😩👏

Last movie: White Palace What can I say? I have a weakness for 90′s James Spader romances. 😏

Currently watching: Northern Exposure Speaking of my 90′s-era weaknesses.

Currently reading: Dragon Age: Asunder by David Gaider. I’m working my way back and forth between the novels and the lorebooks in a roundabout attempt to make them last me the winter.

Currently craving: A slice of homemade Earl grey cake, from this recipe specifically. Luckily my partner’s mother’s birthday is in about a week, so I have a good excuse to make it soon. 😌👌 🍰 (If you want my advice, though, do not attempt the accompanying honey buttercream frosting. It melts at room temperature, which I learned—you guessed it—the hard way. Go with something sturdier like this instead.)

Tagging: @5lazarus @proudofmyanger @jellydishes @levikra @jarakrisafis (But only if you’d like~ 🎼📖🎞️✨)

Jobasha, of Jobasha's Rare Books, if you please?

i want to draw something

give me a name of a Morrowind character and I’ll try to draw them

Gather around, baby aces, and I shall tell you a tale of ye olde days of 2011

Keep reading

Dear LGBT community members who don’t think asexuality should be allowed “in”:

I’m biologically female, and I’m not attracted to men. Society told me I was supposed to be, but it never happened, and I spent years of my life feeling broken and wrong. The other option presented to me when I was young was being attracted to women. I watched girls closely, trying to figure it out, but that wasn’t working for me, either. Wanting to be sexually close to another person just baffled me. I swore everyone else was making those feelings up. But they weren’t, and I got older, I realized that and it sunk in that I was just one big weirdo. I was in college when I learned the word for it, and had a breakdown of panic and relief. I can’t begin to put into words how it felt to discover I wasn’t broken–that I was a part of a group of people who felt in their hearts and souls the way I did.

Then came the process of coming out. My friends were a mixed bag, but friends you can pick and choose from if they aren’t supportive.The vast majority of my friends were cool about it, even if they didn’t quite understand. There were assholes, and one suggested “showing me” I was wrong (creepy creepy creepy), but mostly my friends were neutral to positive.

After some select friends, I came out to my family.

My parents told me I was wrong.

It was like being run over by a truck. To this day, I can’t talk about my asexuality around those I love most. It caused one of the only serious arguments I’ve ever had with my parents (I love them and they’re wonderful about 99.9% of the things in my life, but this is one place they weren’t). I was told I just had to find the “right person”, and I would change. That I was too young to understand my feelings (I was in my 20s) towards boys. That I shouldn’t put labels on myself that would make men not want to date me. Because god forbid men not find me attractive! Because clearly, from my conversation with them, what I wanted most of all was to find a man who wanted to get in my pants! Yeah!

Yeah.

It’s not really their fault. We live in a world where happiness is defined as falling in love, getting married, etc. Not wanting another person in your life as your “other half” is an alien concept. Media is flooded with messages of heterosexual normalcy, and now in very small pockets (hopefully growing, because it should! <3), a homosexual option for partnered normalcy. It’s shoved in our faces CONSTANTLY. Our society and government have even set things up to benefit couples financially. Which is fun now that I’m in my 30s and trying to save up for a future family, all by myself. And thankfully, even though they still avoid the word, over a decade later my parents do seem on board with the fact that I’m not pursuing relationships and are supportive of my life choices to save for a family by myself.

Listen. I am by no means saying that I am oppressed as a person the way people attracted to same-gendered people are. I’m not saying I’m oppressed the way the trans community is. I’m not saying any of that. But I AM dealing with a world where who I am is just not “okay”. Where who I am is wrong, where who I am needs to be fixed. Or, in many cases (most cases), where who I am DOES NOT EXIST. I don’t belong in the heterosexual world. I’m an outsider to it. But I’m also an outsider to any world that involves sex and attraction. And as a youth, I had NO WORD to use to describe who I was!

So when asexuals advocate for asexual inclusion in the LGBT community, it’s not because we want to weirdly steal thunder from anyone in your community, or because we want false pity for oppression we haven’t faced the way you have. It’s because we don’t want others to have to grow up the way we did.

We don’t want the world to continue not knowing about our existence. We want asexuality recognized publicly–both so asexuals can learn about themselves in an honest way, and so non-aces see us as legitimate humans. The LGBT world seemed like the natural place for us to go to to ask for inclusion. The place where others might understand what it’s like to grow up in a heterosexual world, as someone who is not. It’s who I first turned to when I discovered the word for myself, only to find immediate pain, rejection, and even mockery. I was horrified.

But I didn’t give up. I couldn’t give up. In 2005, I was in college and gave a talk at my university’s LGBT club. They had never heard of asexuality before, despite being part of a huge liberal university. It was the scariest thing I’d ever done in my life. I had to introduce the concept, and represent the entire community. And then answer a barrage of questions. Personal, personal questions, about my body, my life experiences, everything. And at the end, there was a long period silence. Until one brave person said:

“Wow. You have gone through the same things as us. You said you had some pamphlets about it? Can we put them in our office? People need to know about this. I can’t imagine growing up not knowing about homosexuality. As scary as it was for me, at least I had a word for it.”

I broke down crying and gave them all the pamphlets I had ordered. Many of them started crying, too. We became a blubbering mess in that meeting room. In that moment, I thought I had found a community who understood after all.

Did I? I suppose that’s up to you. But please, take some of this into consideration before you say that asexuals shouldn’t have a letter in your acronym, or should make their “own, separate” community. We’re unknown and invisible in so many ways, but nevertheless hurting in ways I think many of you can sympathize with and understand. It’s not that we’re attracted to the “wrong” sex or gender. It’s that we’re not attracted to the “right” one. And holy crap, the world just isn’t super friendly or understanding to people like that. Like us.

Thank you.

i told my boyfriend i was demisexual so i had to expalin to him that demisexual is the kind of people who feel sexual attraction to someone with an emotional bond, and he said "yeah just like everyone else"... how i am supposed to react to that? i told him that no, because lot of people is alright with one night stands, but he was insisting everyone was like this..

This is a hard one that I’ve struggled with too, because as demisexuals we know that our experience is fundamentally different, but often times harder to pin down than saying we’re strictly asexual. Here’s how I explained it to my mom. I’m not sure how useful this is, especially since it’s about how *I* experience demisexuality, which might be different than how you or others do, but maybe it’ll help.So imagine that sex is coffee right? People love coffee. Coffee is everywhere. There’s a Starbucks on every corner, coffee drinkers in every TV show and movie, and billboards and ad spots about coffee all the time. People who like coffee might be peculiar about how they want their coffee— maybe they like it with sugar or soy milk, or only in the mornings before 10, or only when they’re studying, only from Starbucks or only from their local coffee house, etc. Or they might not care— they might like coffee no matter when or how it’s made. They’ll buy it from anyone and take it in whatever form because they really like coffee. But they all agree that in general they like coffee.

And then there are people who don’t like coffee at all. They can’t stand it. They don’t want coffee at any point of the day, no matter how it’s made or who makes it. Nothing you can do makes coffee in any way appealing to them. Coffee lovers are generally baffled by this, and some might insist that people who don’t like coffee just haven’t had the right cup, but the fact is that people who don’t like coffee simply just don’t like coffee.

And then there are people like us: we don’t generally like coffee, and we wouldn’t choose to have coffee on our own. Like the people who don’t like coffee, we can go years without a cup of coffee and it doesn’t bother us at all.

But we have a friend who loves coffee, and we love that friend. And the longer we’re friends, the more we want to have coffee with them. Not because coffee has suddenly become our favorite drink, but because we love our coffee-drinking friend and THEY make us want coffee. So we go out for coffee with them, and we enjoy having coffee because we’re having coffee with them. If we weren’t with them, we wouldn’t want coffee.

"But everybody feels that way" isn’t true. Coffee lovers still want coffee even when their conditions for having coffee aren’t met. Just because they’re not drinking coffee right now, or because they might have preferences for when & how they drink coffee, doesn’t mean they stop liking coffee. But for people like us, if we’re not having coffee with that specific person, then we don’t care about coffee. It holds absolutely no appeal or value. We have to have that connection before we ever want coffee. Coffee lovers might want that connection when they have coffee too, but they also generally want coffee as a thing in itself.

That’s the difference between being demisexual and being an allosexual who likes to have emotional connections with their partners. An allosexual person still likes and wants sex as a thing itself, even if the conditions for having sex aren’t being met. They think about and desire sex outside of the conditions they set for engaging in the actual act. A demisexual person doesn’t care about sex as a thing in itself, because sex is inherently tied to emotional bonding for them. We don’t think about sex as an act involving us unless it’s under those conditions.

That may or may not be the worst analogy ever, I honestly don’t know, sorry. It seemed to work for my mom, but that might be because she really likes coffee *shrugs*

If anyone following this blog has any resources on how to respond to that type of response they’d like to direct the anon to, please let me know so I can post them!

Hope that helps!

Anyone want a tarot or rune reading?

Send me $5 with a note that includes your email address and the word “tarot” or “runes” somewhere in it and I’ll email you a single-card reading. If you forget to specify tarot or runes, it’s dealer’s choice and I’ll pick whichever I feel like.

CashApp: $renn13queer

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"Welcome to Night Vale" style angel #2

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day 1 - parvati holcomb, the outer worlds happy pride month of 2020!

Tagged: @the-ever-chaos-collective (Thank you~ 😘👉 ❤️)

slow burn or love at first sight // fake dating or secret dating // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt-comfort or amnesia // fantasy AU or modern AU // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut or fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it// reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi chapter // kid fic or road trip fic// arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or middle aged romance // time travel or isolated together // neighbours or roommates // sci-fi AU or magic AU // body swap or gender bend // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane

Tagging: @the-horae @host-of-chthon @pedlimwen @amervalk @springacres @nivjolteon (But only if you’d like~ 📚 📖✨)

You said for mutuals to tag you and it looked fun so @baronvonriktenstein

slow burn or love at first sight // fake dating or secret dating // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt-comfort or amnesia // fantasy AU or modern AU // mutual pining(I write too much mutual pining) or domestic bliss // smut or fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it(like every mass effect fic ever)// reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi chapter // kid fic or road trip fic// arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or middle aged romance // time travel or isolated together // neighbors(I actually wrote an au like that) roommates // sci-fi AU or magic AU // body swap or gender bend // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane

I’ll tag @crqstalite @confundere @the-ever-chaos-collective