(link)

I saw this magazine in a grocery store and I immediately started freaking out. I have no idea what the article is about, because I was leaving checkout and had to rush out of there, but just knowing that asexuals are spotlighted in one that’s carried in stores makes me very happy.

Reblog if you recognize pan/poly/demi/gray/asexual as legitimate sexualities

feel free to add more but i’m proving a point for the less recognized people

Parvati Holcomb: The Unaccountably Happy Face of the Unreliable

The Outer Worlds, the new space RPG courtesy of Obsidian, helpfully provides your player character with exactly the sort of ragtag gang of misfits which you are probably expecting in such a game. Today, we’re going to talk about the most important of them. 

Parvati Holcomb, likely the first companion you meet and definitely the first companion you can recruit, is a well-written female-character. Her talents for engineering and her incredibly positive and cheerful outlook quickly draw comparison with the character of Kaylee from Firefly (allegedly one of the main inspirations for the character), but there is one very clear difference between the two. 

Parvati Holcomb is an asexual character. 

While the term “asexual” is never actually used in the game, Parvati’s experiences and worries were so obviously born form the real-life experiences of asexual people that I was not the least bit surprised that she had been written by an asexual woman: 

I was, however, properly delighted that Parvati had always been intended to be an asexual character, even before an asexual woman took over as Parvati’s writer; Chris L’Etoile, the original writer, explicitly made the decision to create a warm and loving character, someone who could see the beauty and hope in a failing colony, who could express all the wonder they wanted their players to feel, and then he decided to make her asexual as well. 

The stereotypical ‘link’’ between asexuality and ‘coldness’ is even explicitly referenced by Parvati herself, when she explains her fears about starting a new relationship: “I’m not much interested in… physical stuff. Never have been. Leastways not like other folk seem to be. It’s not that I can’t. I just don’t care for it. It’s been a problem, in the past. The folk who wanted to be with me, back in the Vale? They didn’t - They said I was cold.”

The first response offered to players? “You’re about the warmest person I ever met. To hell with them.” 

Indeed, The Outer Worlds is a game which, over and over again, tells us that Parvati is not cold or unfeeling. This is a young woman who names a robot the moment she fixes it, who worries if the Captain calls the ship’s computer “it”, who checks in with crew members and, in a game with a reputation system (rather than a Mass Effect style morality system), acts as the world’s most adorable conscience. 

And, while Parvati does find her relationship with Junlei complicated, those complications have very little to do with her sexuality and far more to do with her being a young woman, away from home for the first time, and experiencing possibly the first great love of her life. There are miscommunications, a night of drowning sorrows, endless over-analysing of each other’s words and actions, and the need to go to four different worlds just to plan a date. As the player character can say: 

PC: “If you two marry, you’ll be saying, ‘Haha, just kidding. Unless you’re not.’” Parvati: “I resent you saying such, on account of it being uncomfortably likely.”

But once Parvati has worked up the courage to tell Junlei who she is, the relationship works well. Well enough for Parvati to find a new home with Junlei once the fight is over: 

Now, I always expect an Obsidian game to have some awareness of the wider spectrum of human sexuality - Fallout New Vegas included some same-sex relationships, and the player character could be played as straight, gay or bisexual, depending on which perks you picked. But I wasn’t expecting the only great romance subplot in an entire game to include an asexual woman actively pursuing another woman. Were this just one relationship among many, it would still be beautiful, but for it to take centre-stage and not have to share that space with anything else? It’s phenomenal. 

And, just when I think that The Outer Worlds couldn’t get any more lovely, it did this: 

Yep, that’s the option to identify your character explicitly as asexual. There’s even the option just afterwards to clarify your character as aromantic as well, which Parvati takes perfectly in her stride with a nice little nod to the player’s strong relationships with their friends. Either revelation is meant with the same response from Parvati: 

“So we’re… we’re kin-like. That makes me, well - unaccountably happy, Captain. It’s a lonely thing, being different like this.” 

Judging from that reaction, the Captain is likely the first fellow asexual who Parvati has met, and the relief in her voice was such a punch to the gut. Because Parvati’s right - the loneliness of feeling “other” sinks in fast and there’s nothing quite like the relief when you finally feel like maybe you’re not alone after all. 

And the idea that this game and this character might give that moment of relief to someone out there, well, that just makes me unaccountably happy as well.

Happy Valentines Day from Buff!

day 27 - daud, dishonored

happy pride month of 2020!

It’s All A Fucking Joke, Right

In the few months I’ve been modding at fuckyeahasexual and touring ace Tumblr, there’s been a very. Steady. Stream of info that detail horrifically abusive situations and overall poor mental unhealth. Two a week in the inbox if I’m lucky, usually around seven-ten.

And there’s been so many, I can officially categorize all 500+ of these kinds of asks and submissions into an extensive bulletlist of Why Asexual Exclusionary Radicalism Is Incredibly Toxic And Shitty;

Coming Out To Family, Friends, And Employers

“My parents keep telling me that I’m something else, and it’s making me doubt my sense of judgement, not just about my sexual identity, but also about everything in general.”

“My family, friends, and co-workers keep referring to me as an inanimate object in a manner that’s clearly meant to humiliate and devastate me. Nothing I say will get them to stop.”

“My parents vocally/bodily forced me to undergo medical examinations, some of them concerning my sexual organs, many of them concerning blood tests and other trauma-centric procedures.”

“My family is intervening with my private life by changing my schedule to include exercise, socialization, friend influences, and whatever they think can ‘change’ me.”

“My friends/co-workers no longer respect my bodily boundaries when I came out to them, because they no longer see me as someone who should be respected. They regularly touch, fondle, grope, and prod me without permission, and/or verbally harass me, and don’t take my objections seriously.”

“My family, friends, and co-workers no longer just harass me, but also anyone I’m currently dating because they view my significant other as pathetic, underserved, or even being abused.”

First Few Days Of Dating

“My date got irrationally angry and confrontational when I came out to them, in a manner that made me fearful.” (SO many of these.)

“My date immediately lost any respect they had for my boundaries, no longer asked for consent, and {tried to} force themselves upon me.” (A lot of these, too)

“My date tried to verbally circumvent any boundaries and issues I confessed to, and it made me feel like I was in danger.”

“I didn’t come out to my date at first, and when they found out, they radically changed their behavior in an attempt to control and manipulate our new relationship to their benefit.”

Long-Term Relationships

“My partner has forcefully and radically changed our long-term relationship after finding out about my asexuality, and I’m now trapped and controlled in a way that I wasn’t before.”

“My partner broke up with me/is fighting with me because of my asexuality, and trying to make it seem like I’m hurting them. It’s made me doubt myself and my ability to trust my own intentions.”

“My partner is slowly changing from what was once supportive of my asexuality, and I’m wondering when I have the right to be worried and when I’d be overreacting. I’m aware of the worst case scenario, but I also worry that I’m being selfish and childish - which are things I’ve been told all throughout my asexual experience.”

Self-Care And Self Development

“I don’t trust my ability to say either yes or no in sexual situations, and this has extended to my life in general. I don’t feel comfortable in my ability to self-determinate.”

“The lack of authority, definition, and schooling of the concept of asexuality has made me very uncomfortable with what I think I am, and that uncertainty haunts me every waking moment.”

“I think it’s too late/too early to tell if I’m asexual, but the longer I hesitate, the worse my mental health and emotional wellbeing gets. I’m effectively stuck.”

“I see no benefit in coming out, or even identifying as asexual. There’s no positivity, role models, or supportive community for what I consider a big and scary part of my overall identity.”

“I think this was sexual abuse, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”

“I think I was treated badly by my parents/friends/partner, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”

“I want to believe that I’m deserving of equal freedom and human respect paid to other, not asexual people, but people tell me I’m being selfish and childish.”

“No one encourages this part of me. And that makes me feel forgotten and abandoned in general.”

Shut the fuck up about your petty beef with tumblr bloggers and youtubers and Archie comics or whatever. I literally do not care, I can’t care. I see these messages every goddamn day - this post was written and drafted a month ago, and I very easily compiled most of this bulletpoint list from scratch, just by eyeing what I see in the askbox and what comes across my dash. 

‘Ace discourse’ anger is empty and so meaningless. This is what I see by being part of this one 17k follow asexual ask blog for maybe half a year. I am so Done with all the faux rage posts and all the false positivity about how it’s ok to NOT be ace and all the acephobia that falls perfectly in line with the gaslighting typical of acephobia-101 while also having the audacity to claim it not so.

This is what’s real and I want to bleed it into your goddamn eyes.

Hola Dudes and Dudettes, its giveaway time! (Woo! Its been ages!)

Just this week I got in a small heap of slightly misprinted keychains which I’d be uncomfortable selling but still make pretty nice prizes- I’m keeping a few back for conventions and things so even if you don’t win one here you’ll have more chances~ The misprint is that they’ve come out a little greyer and lighter than usual, but they’re still pretty cool.

Rules: 

Comments, Likes and Reblogs all count for a total of 3 entries!

Gotta be following this blog (I mean why would you want my art anyways if you weren’t?)

I’ll ship to anywhere in the world!

Giveaway ends 21st June (1 week)

Prizes!

1st Place: Any of the above badge sets and any keychain!*

2nd Place: Any of the above badge sets and any misprinted keychain!

Runners up (3 people): Any misprinted keychain!

*Subject to availability dudes, if a keychain design sells out in the next week or so I won’t have any more for a while. You can see the badges & keychains in more detail over on my Storenvy.

Keychains: Hannibal, Will Graham, Newton Geiszler, Hermann Gottlieb, Joan Watson, Sherlock Holmes, Daenerys Targaryen, Thranduil, Castiel and Spock.

Misprinted Keychains: Will Graham, Newton Geiszler, Thranduil, Castiel & Spock

Good Luck chaps!

Selfie Tag

Tagged: @jellydishes​​ ⁌ ⁍ (Thank you~ 🤗 🖤)

Tagging: All other interested parties. @ me in your posts if you try it out! 💄✨ 📸

So I was just minding my own business, opening up a new MTG booster pack with my boyfriend when…

W- … Will Graham?!

Gather around, baby aces, and I shall tell you a tale of ye olde days of 2011

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