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happy pride month of 2020!

What White People REALLY Mean When They Talk About Ferguson | Feminspire 

Every 28 hours a black person is killed by a police officer. Yet another unarmed black person, 18 year old Mike Brown, was killed by officer Darren Wilson on August 9th in Ferguson, Missouri. People in Ferguson are taking to the streets, demanding justice and braving excessive and cruel force from local police and the National Guard. Those of us who wish we could be in Ferguson, but can’t be, are protesting, tweeting, writing, donating, screaming, crying, or whatever we can do to process the fact that black people are still subhuman in 21st century America, and to process the fact that white people still don’t understand that the murder of black folks at the hands of law enforcement is a serious problem in the country.

By now I’m sure you’ve seen, heard, or talked with white people who don’t seem to understand that Ferguson is indeed about race, or that the response to protesters is beyond excessive. So I’ve put together this guide to deciphering white proverbs about Ferguson, which should come in handy the next time you’re talking to a white person (or anyone for that matter) who just doesn’t get it.

1. What they say: Stop jumping to conclusions/we don’t know all the facts about the shooting/this isn’t about race.

What they mean:

They deny the centuries-long history of violence committed against black people by the state, police, and the criminal justice system. Or, they believe this violence ended long ago and no longer affects us today.

They believe that black people should delay their reactions until the case is closed, which could take months or even years, and that we are irrational for being angry before then.

They are more concerned with the possibility of a black man doing something that deserved his execution, than the reality that a black man is now lying in a morgue.

They would never say something like this about violence committed by a black person (especially against a white person). White people have a history of jumping to conclusions and arresting or killing black people when suspected of wrongdoing. (Emmett Till never got to explain himself before he was killed in 1955, and more recently, nor did Eric Garner or John Crawford.)

2. What they say: The protesters are violent and looting. They are destroying their own town. They should be peaceful and cooperate with police.

What they mean:

They are prioritizing petty crimes over the killing of a human being.

By conflating the looters with the peaceful protesters, they conflate resistance to racism with violence and destruction, and perpetuate the stereotype that black people are inherently violent.

They ignore protesters who protected stores from looting, and helped store owners clean up.

They excuse excessive police force used against peaceful demonstrators.

They forget about times when white people have rioted, such as Penn State students after Joe Paterno’s firing.

They deny the right of oppressed people to be angry about oppression. Centuries ago, they would have probably been against slave rebellions.

3. What they say: He robbed a convenience store. He was resisting or fighting with the officer. He smoked marijuana. He can’t possibly be a victim because he wasn’t innocent.

What they mean:

Black men deserve to die if they rob a few dollars worth of goods from a store.

Black men deserve to die even if they have their hands up.

Black men deserve to die if they resist arrest or defend themselves.

Black men deserve to die even if the gun they are holding is just a toy.

Black men deserve to die even if they are unarmed and doing normal things that white people do.

Black men deserve to die.

Meanwhile, white folks can proudly stroll through a Target store with assault rifles hanging off their shoulders, knowing that they will not get shot by a police officer. White people who refuse to pay grazing fees in Nevada can defend their assumed right to do so by pointing guns at federal agents without fear of being shot at. White terrorists and white mass murderers get taken away in police cars instead of being shot (not to mention sympathy from the media.) White people even write childrens books about how proud they are to use their white privilege to openly carry a gun without being mistaken for criminals. Must be nice.

4.  What they say: The local police and National Guard are just doing their jobs.

What they mean:

Taking several days to release the name of the officer who killed Brown is acceptable.

The history of racist practices in the Ferguson police department is acceptable.

The police department releasing an unrelated video of a robbery that may or may not have involved Mike Brown, in an attempt to assassinate his character, is acceptable.

Failing to immediately interview witnesses, arrest Darren Wilson, and otherwise conduct a proper investigation, is acceptable.

Leaving a dead body on the street for several hours in the scorching heat, while family and neighbors look on, is acceptable.

Using military-like force, including tear gas, which is illegal to use at wartime, against peaceful protesters, is acceptable.

Intimidating the news media is acceptable.

Police ignoring proper protocol when it comes to black people and black neighborhoods, is acceptable.

Mistreatment of black people at the hands of the police, is acceptable.

5.  What they say: Nothing at all.

What they mean:

They don’t care, and they think this doesn’t affect them.

Or perhaps, they aren’t sure what to do. (In this case, they should read this.)

This is what white people don’t understand about Ferguson: It’s not just about one black kid and one white police officer. This is about our place in this country, and in our country’s history. It’s about our 400 year long struggle to be seen and valued as human beings worthy of dignity and life.

So when someone says any of these things about Ferguson, they are saying that black lives don’t matter, that we don’t have a right to get angry, and that we should not resist oppression.

But we will.

please unmute

fic:

me:

You seem pretty open about this, and I don't know anyone else to ask, but you can ignore this completely if you need to. I think I might be asexual? But I'm not sure. I've never looked and someone and thought sex, and usually sex just sounds meh at best. But I have had it before, and I liked it? Is it possible for me to still be ace, or if not, what am I? Thank you

::puts on Official Asexual hat::

I can’t, despite this fabulous hat, actually make a ruling on your sexual orientation or how you want to identify. But that said: the definition of asexuality, as I understand it, is a sexual orientation that consists of not feeling sexual attraction to anyone. Period. Everything after that is a different question. Your sexual orientation is about who you feel sexually attracted to and if the group of people you feel sexually attracted to is [file not found] then, congratulations, you’re asexual and you are entitled to cake.

I think that a lot of confusion–and especially a lot of the people who basically feel like they want to identify as asexual but don’t qualify–comes from piling two or three different factors onto the identity of asexuality and conflating them, or treating them like the more of those factors you have, the MORE asexual you are, like there is a ~gold star asexual~ class that you only get into if you are attracted to no one, have never had sex, never want to have sex or even think about sex, think sex is totally gross and inexplicable, and never experience sexual urges or sensations. But that’s a whole bunch of other factors getting piled on to a sexual orientation in a way that just demands you fit into a stereotype.

Sexual orientation: What group of people, broadly speaking, do you look at and think: Ooh I want to have sex with you.

If it is people of the opposite gender, heterosexual! Same gender, gay/lesbian/homosexual as applies in your case! Two or more genders, bisexual or pansexual or omnisexual or some other word according to fine gradations of meaning and gender identity and so on! If nobody, ever, asexual! If very few people, very rarely, generally for reasons other than physical/gender characteristics, demisexual or gray-asexual!

Sexual behavior: Do you have sex? Have you ever? Do you masturbate? How?

These are all super prone to be influenced by circumstances! Maybe you’re really young or you have moral/religious/emotional/psychological/etc reasons to refrain from having sex. This doesn’t mean you can’t belong to ANY of the sexual orientations listed above; you can absolutely be gay or straight or bi or pan before you’ve had sex with anybody, or if you’re currently not having sex.

Maybe you are or were in a relationship with somebody, of any gender, who did or didn’t belong to the group of people you find you’re sexually attracted to, and you had sex with them–because they wanted to, because you wanted to for reasons other than sexual attraction, because you thought you would find you liked it once you tried it, because you didn’t really think about reasons and it just seemed like a good idea at the time.

That ALSO doesn’t mean that you automatically belong or don’t belong to any sexual orientation listed above. Gay people experiment or even wind up in lifelong sexual relationships with people of the opposite sex for various reasons; straight people have sex once or many times with people of their own gender; bisexuals do not have to perpetually have sex with people of both genders to still be really bi; asexuals can have sex and still be asexual.

[There is not a good word for this one–Sexual enjoyment, maybe?]: Quite aside from how skilled you or your partner are, do you basically LIKE the sexual behavior you engage in, if any? 

There are a bunch of variations to this–some people just really really like sex even when it doesn’t result in orgasms, some people think sex is gross and unpleasant even when it’s taking place in a loving relationship and technically everything is going great, even when they’re masturbating in exactly the way they prefer. For some people this dislike or discomfort might come from trauma or social conditioning that sex is dirty or wrong, but for lots of people it’s just how they feel! THERE IS NO INNATE REASON WHY THIS SHOULD CORRELATE TO WHO YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO. A person could be attracted to everyone in the world and still think the actual act of sex involving their own actual body is really gross and unpleasant and not desired, or a person could never be attracted to anyone and still find themselves having a rad time when they decide to get it on, and every variation in between. And a person could find sex with other people super DNW but enjoy the hell out of masturbating. We don’t really have a standard word for people who REALLY REALLY ENJOY sex (or not a non-insulting one); people who don’t enjoy sex at all are called sex-repulsed.

Sexual drive: How often do you find yourself wanting to have sex or masturbate? 

For some people, ALL THE TIME, for some people, never. For MOST people, this varies with hormonal shifts/age/psychological and emotional factors, etc. And again this is separate from who you are attracted to, separate from whether you act on those urges (or choose to have sex in the absence of any physical urge), separate from how much you enjoy engaging in sexual activity if/when you do. This is the one that people are thinking of when they ask if your asexuality is being caused by your meds/thyroid/whatever. But again, having zero libido could happen to somebody who’s actively attracted to all kinds of people, and having a constant urge to get busy could happen to someone who’s not attracted to anyone–even to someone who’s not attracted to anyone and is sex-repulsed, etc.

SO IN CONCLUSION: sexual identity is complicated! Sexual behavior is driven by lots of factors! But if you’re not attracted to anyone, the word for that is asexual, and there’s no wrong way to be asexual. You just are if you are.

Reblog if you've formed a meaningful relationship with someone you met online.

Out of curiosity, could you take a moment to reblog this if you believe that demisexuality exists? I’m demisexual, and I feel like demisexuality goes really under the radar, even within the asexual community umbrella. A lot of people don’t believe that it exists, and even within the ace community, demisexuality is still questioned as being legitimate, although we share the same flag. So reblog this is if you believe it exists. 

http://www.museaway.com/post/78555178421/almosthumanfans-almost-human-survey-if-youve

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YOU! ONCE YOU GET THIS, YOU HAVE TO SAY FIVE NICE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF AND SEND IT TO TEN OF YOUR FAVOURITE FOLLOWERS

So, needlesslycryptic and sunderlorn both dropped this one in my inbox—I’m in the polarizing position of being both unspeakably (DOES THIS MEAN THAT I’M A *FAVORITE*?!) flattered and put out that now I’ve got to run my truant self-regard to ground and put it to work. Thank you both. <3

1. At any paid job, I’m uncommonly diligent. I arrive at the timeclock every day just in time to absently stare through it for two minutes, swipe my card with more force than is strictly necessary, and then I’m in. I work singlemindedly every second of my shift, with efficiency, speed, and focus as my watchwords. When I walk I keep my eyes forward, hands clasped behind my back, and never stop to socialize or chatter. When customers or coworkers come to confer with me or ask a question, I don’t stop working to answer. I do both at once. So, um… I’m not well-liked, but my results are. Hooray?

2. I never gossip, spill secrets, or kiss and tell.

3. If you and I ever eat together, I’ll always eat more—so, your powers of restraint will look greater by comparison.

4. The way I ramble in writing you’d probably never guess this, but I have a talent for silence. Like, I can honestly go weeks without saying a word. Comfortably.

5. I’m… not too shabby a gifter, if I do say so myself. In all seriousness, I tend to devote weeks or months before a holiday to obsessively trawling through my memories for every tiny instance in which my prospective giftee has expressed even the most offhand desire, going years back if necessary, until I light on the thing. And I live my life listening for those moments, mentally tucking them away to be brought out again as needed. It’s worth it to me, too—every time my mother, for example, finally breaks through my very deliberately selected giftwrap and tears up when she sees what’s inside, my skull just echoes with vindicated maniacal mental laughter.