I Don’t Fall For Bodies. I Fall For The Way Your Soul Softens When You Speak Of Dreams, For The Cracks

“Kissing a woman feels much more fun.” — Olivia Colman

JENNIFER’S BODY (2009) HIGH FIDELITY (2020-) BLACK SWAN (2010) BUT I’M A CHEERLEADER (1999) ATOMIC BLONDE (2017) PROFESSOR MARSTON AND THE WONDER WOMEN (2017) CRUEL INTENTIONS (1999)

“Hands behind your back.”

The words leave my mouth calm and measured, but there’s no mistaking the edge beneath them.

You hesitate—just for a second. Barely long enough to register. But it’s enough.

Wrong move.

I close the distance in three slow, deliberate steps, the air thick between us. My fingers grip your jaw, firm, tilting your face up so you’re forced to meet my eyes.

“What part of that was unclear, sweetheart?”

Your lips part like you might speak, like you might offer some excuse, but no sound comes. You just stand there, breath caught, waiting.

Then, finally, you move. Reluctant. Obedient.

Your arms slip behind your back, slow as surrender.

I circle behind you, my hands trail down your sides, mapping the lines of your body like a territory I already own. Then I lean in, mouth brushing against the soft skin of your neck, just enough to make you shiver.

“You want to be good for me, don’t you?”

I whisper it low, so close you feel the words more than hear them. You nod. It’s small, unsure. But it’s honest.

“Then be good,” I murmur.

You let out a soft, shaky whimper when the restraints tighten around your wrists—leather pulling snug, final, inescapable. I don’t rush. Every motion is slow and deliberate, to remind you that you’ve given yourself over completely.

And when I lean in again, my mouth at your ear, my breath hot against your skin, and I don’t raise my voice. I don’t need to.

“Stay still,” I whisper, voice like a promise. “And take what I give you.”

so needy i want someone’s fingers to slide into me while they pant out a “fuck” because of how wet i am

Thinking about having her in my arms <3

A quick hug, just because.

A warm embrace to remind her that she’s loved.

Holding her for as long as she needs, minutes or hours. Enveloping her with warmth and safety, and feeling her relax in my arms. Noticing the tension leaving her muscles, offering her comfort when life gets too much.

I want her to be able to let go of everything, just for a moment. To create a space where she’s safe from the worries and the stress. I want to shield her, not just from all the negativity in the world, but from every bad feeling or thought she might have.

Let my arms be the gateway to comfort and safety. Let me make you feel loved and cared for.

“I don’t want to be a burden” you’re more like a relief, a gift, a blessing actually

idk chat an older woman telling me how good i’m doing while she fucks me senseless MIGHT solve all my problems

The little demons of grief came to live with me, in the space between the shadows and the floor.

I can't hear what they're telling me, even though I try.

im 19 :)

i'm a bit new to the whole dom/sub thing- i know id be submissive and all, but i tend to be extremely sarcastic and i struggle taking things seriously and focusing in on stuff. it's not that i don't want to submit, i just tend to struggle with letting myself. and when things do get serious, i tend to panic and make a lot of jokes and quips to try and lighten the mood / get out of the situation. im a bit worried that if i did end up in a dom/sub relationship, that my panic attitude would be mistaken for brattiness or disobedience. i really want to be obedient and be able to submit to someone, i just don't know how to let myself and to be honest im kind of scared.

also- i'm not sure why but sometimes i get these really intense like submissive urges (?) and my thoughts get all foggy. it usually results in me having a mental breakdown and cuddling a stuffy and crying. do you know what that is / why it happens?

- 🦊

Hello, my lovely little fox,

Thank you so much for sharing your age. That fox is all yours now, for as long as you want it.

Now, let me just say how brave and self-aware you are for sharing all of this information about you with me. It takes a tender kind of courage to speak so honestly about the things you’re feeling, especially when they feel big or confusing. I see you, I’m proud of you.

Let’s start with that wonderful, sarcastic streak of yours. I think it’s important to say this right away: submission doesn’t mean becoming someone else. It’s not about shutting off your personality or “performing” submission in one rigid way. Some submissives are quiet and still. Others are cheeky, giggly, sarcastic, or even a little chaotic. All are valid.

What you’re describing; using humor and quips as a way to cope or deflect when things get intense, is something so many people experience, especially if they’re sensitive, neurodivergent, anxious, or have trauma responses. It’s not disobedience. It’s not brattiness. It’s your system saying, “This feels too much, too fast, and I need a way out.” That’s not wrong, that’s information. And the right Dominant will see that.

A good D/s relationship isn’t about forcing obedience. It’s about building trust. Softly. Gently. At your pace. It’s about learning how your mind and body respond, and creating a space where submission feels safe, not scary.

And those foggy, overwhelming moments you mentioned? Where you get hit with a wave of submissive urges and then end up crying with your stuffy?

Sweetheart… that sounds like emotional drop, or possibly even a kind of “sub drop” without the scene. When your body wants to submit, when your need feels so strong and unfulfilled, it can create this buildup of intensity that doesn't know where to go. And when there’s no release, no container, no soft voice to catch you, it crashes inward. That’s not weird or wrong. That’s your heart asking for connection, for safety, for someone to hold all that intensity and tell you, “You’re okay. You’re safe. I’ve got you.”

You’re not broken, little fox. You’re sensitive. And that is a beautiful thing.

You don’t have to “get it right.” You don’t need to be perfectly obedient, serious, or quiet. You just need someone who sees you, sarcasm, panic, soft heart, foggy thoughts, and all, and builds something gentle and real with you.

Submission doesn’t have to be scary. It can be a warm place to land.

And if you ever need someone to remind you that it’s okay to feel things deeply, I’m right here.

xo Jade 

⚠️ Warning Signs of Dangerous and Unethical BDSM Practices

Entering the world of BDSM can be beautiful, empowering, and healing. But stepping into this world also means stepping into vulnerability. And where there is vulnerability, there will unfortunately always be those who seek to exploit it.

I write this not just as someone who knows the rules, but as someone who has seen the consequences when they are broken. I have witnessed red flags ignored, hearts broken, and gentle souls hurt by people who have no place in the BDSM community. I write this for every person I have seen wounded, and for every kind soul out there still searching for their place. I want to protect you by giving you the armor of seeing the warning signs, and the strength and support to walk away when something feels wrong.

Because it's important to know that not everyone who calls themselves a Dominant or Submissive has earned that title. There are those who will misuse these dynamics to excuse abuse, manipulation, and harm, by disguising cruelty as "kink."

If you are exploring, whether for the first time or after carrying the scars of past experiences, hear me now: You deserve to be safe. You deserve to be cherished. You deserve to be protected.

This guide was created not to frighten you, but to arm you, and to remind you: You are never wrong for protecting yourself. You are never wrong for walking away. Recognizing red flags does not make you cold, suspicious, or “too much.” It makes you wise.

So read this post not with fear, but with the strength of knowing you are worth more than those who would misuse your trust.

🚩 Red Flags in Dominants You Should Never Ignore

Refuses to discuss boundaries, safewords, or consent. A healthy Dominant welcomes clear communication about what you want, need, and do not consent to. If someone brushes it off, jokes about it, or tells you that "real" submission means you don't need a safeword, leave.

Removes aftercare or safewords as a form of punishment. A real, ethical Dominant will never take away your safeword or aftercare as punishment. Safewords are your lifeline, they protect your safety, sanity, and autonomy. Aftercare is vital for your emotional and physical well-being after intense scenes. These are non-negotiable rights, not rewards to be given or taken based on behavior. If anyone threatens to remove or deny your safeword or aftercare as a punishment: Walk away. You are not dealing with a Dominant. You are facing an abuser.

Pushes you into dynamics or activities you haven't agreed to. Consent must be enthusiastic and informed, not manipulated, guilted, or assumed.

Tells you that "good" submissives have no limits. You are not "bad" or "less" if you have limits. Limits are normal, healthy, and necessary.

Demands submission before trust is established. True submission is earned, not taken. A Dominant who pressures you to submit early on is not interested in your well-being, only in their control.

Dismisses aftercare as unnecessary. Aftercare is not a luxury; it's a vital part of ethical BDSM. Your emotional, mental, and physical care matters after a scene.

Demands titles (like "Mistress," "Mommy," etc.) immediately without your agreement. Titles should always be discussed, offered and accepted with consent. They are not automatic or owed.

Becomes angry or punishing when you express discomfort, ask questions, or say no. A safe Dominant will never punish you for advocating for yourself.

Is vague about their experience, references, or past partners. A Dominant with integrity will be transparent about their journey, including mistakes they've done and/or learned from.

Romanticizes or encourages unsafe practices like CNC (Consensual Non-Consent) without deep negotiation and a very strong trust foundation. CNC can be beautiful only when it is deeply negotiated and handled with extreme care. Anyone rushing into it or treating it casually is dangerous.

Plays while angry, drunk, or under the influence. Impaired judgment has no place in BDSM. Ever.

Disrespects your existing relationships, commitments, or mental health needs. A caring Dominant honors all parts of your life, not just the parts they want access to.

🚩 Red Flags in a Submissive

No Respect for Their Own Limits. A submissive who says "I have no limits" or refuses to talk about boundaries is unsafe, for themselves and for you. Everyone has limits. A refusal to acknowledge them shows inexperience, misunderstanding, or emotional instability.

Pushes for Instant Intensity. Asking for intense scenes, dangerous play (like CNC, breathplay, or heavy impact) immediately shows a lack of understanding of trust, safety, and connection. A good submissive respects the importance of pacing and building trust.

Disregards Negotiation. If they rush past important conversations about safewords, triggers, expectations, or needs, it’s a sign they may not be ready for BDSM in a healthy way.

No Safeword Agreement. A submissive refusing to use a safeword because they "want to be broken" or "don't want to stop" ignores that BDSM should be mutually safe and consensual.

Manipulation for Attention. Using guilt, self-harm threats, or emotional blackmail to get more dominance, control, or attention is abusive behavior, not submission.

Treats Submission Like a Transaction. "If I do this, you owe me that" thinking is incompatible with healthy dynamics. Submission is a gift, not a bargain for affection or attention.

Disrespecting Your Boundaries as a Dominant. A submissive who begs for things you have clearly said you are not comfortable with (pushing your own limits) is not respecting you. Dominants have limits too, and they matter just as much.

Fetishizing or Dehumanizing Dominants. Seeing Dominants only as fantasy objects ("you're just a tool for my needs") instead of real people with feelings and needs can lead to harmful, one-sided dynamics.

Poor Communication After Scenes. Refusing to give feedback, withdrawing emotionally without warning, or refusing aftercare conversations can damage trust and connection.

🚩 Dangerous Practices

Ignoring safe calls/check-ins: Especially for early meetings, safe calls (someone checking on you) are crucial.

Edgeplay with no prior experience or safety measures: Breathplay, knife play, or psychological edgeplay should only be explored with extensive education, experience, and deep trust.

Isolation tactics: If someone tries to cut you off from friends, family, or community, they are not protecting you, they are trapping you.

Public play without your clear consent: No one has the right to involve you in kink scenes or exposure without your enthusiastic yes.

No aftercare planning: Emotional and physical care after a scene is part of ethical BDSM. Its absence can leave lasting harm.

No emergency knowledge or tools. Lack of basics like safety shears during bondage scenes, or not knowing how to respond to medical emergencies (like fainting, nerve compression, panic attacks) shows dangerous irresponsibility.

Consent to One Thing, Doing Another. If someone agrees to one act but then escalates to something riskier or unrelated without asking, that is violating consent and sexual assault.

What a Healthy, Ethical Dominant Looks Like

Consistently respects your autonomy, boundaries, and voice.

Communicates openly, patiently, and invites your questions.

Treats your consent as sacred, not optional.

Prioritizes your safety, emotional health, and aftercare needs.

Understands that dominance is service, responsibility, and care, not power for power’s sake.

Grows with you. Listens, adapts, and values your humanity first.

What a Healthy, Ethical Submissive Looks Like

Honors their own limits and communicates them regularly.

Engages in thoughtful negotiation instead of rushing into intense scenes without discussion.

Uses safewords and communication tools responsibly.

Respects the Dominant’s boundaries and humanity.

Owns their emotional well-being.

Approaches submission as a gift of trust and growth.

Values ongoing consent and connection.

True BDSM is based on

Informed and respected consent

Trust and mutual care

Respect for limits

Constant communication

Ongoing negotiation

There is no kink so “hardcore” that it should ever ignore safety or consent. Ever.

A Gentle Reminder

You are not "too much" for having boundaries. You are not "too needy" for wanting aftercare. You are not "too difficult" for wanting to feel safe and respected. You are allowed and encouraged to walk away the moment something feels wrong. You deserve a dynamic that lifts you, protects you, and cherishes you.

And if you ever feel unsure or currently in an unsafe dynamic, reach out to trusted friends, help lines, or community spaces where ethical BDSM is practiced and discussed, for help. You are never alone.

Stay safe. Stay empowered. And above all, stay loved. 🤍