But Like, Can I Lay My Head On Your Tummy And Have You Play With My Hair 👉👈

It would just be so terrible to be pinned between two ladies as they call me cute and laugh at how flustered and embarrassed I get. Oh gosh I sure hope they don't kiss their hot mouths against my neck and slip their hands up under my clothes!

subs really do give so much by taking all they can. reminding them and ourselves that they deserve sincere praise for these acts of devotion which develop purely from a genuine connection of trust, reassurance, safety, and established communication is so important. they do it all for us, you know. i’m talking even past the aftercare, to lovingly dote on your sub otherwise is such a privilege. they should feel deeply cared for, empowered by the total control they have over their own treatment, overwhelmingly and undoubtedly loved. to give everything… well they’d deserve that much and more then, wouldn’t they <3

Remember that you must allow people to love you, to be kind to you, to help you. Not everyone is going to be toxic for you, some people just genuinely want to be a part of your life, but you to feel all this love coming your way, you have to believe you deserve it. Let people love you. Let them look out for you, care for you, don't push them away. Let them stay.

Oh, angel.

Your mind has been a mess, and you've approached your breaking point. The tears have come, your legs feel like jelly, and the tens of thousands of bad thoughts won't stop running around in that overwhelmed head of yours. Your aching chest feels heavy, and you can't seem to even catch your own breath.

You poor, sweet thing.

But suddenly, there she is.

Your saviour. Your guiding light in moments of need. Your protector. Your domme.

She'll take your face into her hands, and her thumb will brush those tears away, with a touch feather-light. She'll kiss your head, she'll pull your front against her with your body in her lap, and she'll soothe you more than anything else ever could. Her coo's will calm your busy thoughts and her kisses will slow your racing heart. Oh love, where are your worries now, hm? You're perfect like this.

"It's alright, darling. I've got you. Just fall into me."

And fall you do. With your tears now dried and your face nuzzled into her neck, she'll do all the thinking for you, and you love things this way. So, you'll nuzzle deeper into her when her fingers find their way between your thighs, and follow her words. "Just breathe, my sweet love. Just breathe for me."

Let her thrusts shut your mind down even more. Let her lift your heavy head up and allow her to shut away your anxious words by letting her tongue fill your mouth instead. Let her unravel you, let her break you apart bit by bit, and know that she's enjoying it. You needed her, and here she is.

So you'll thank her. Again and again, you'll thank her. And when it's done, when she's pulled you apart and stitched you back together with her praises and a warm bath, know that she's waiting for you to need her all over again.

"Nobody else will ever get to see you like this, and nobody else will ever get to break you apart. You're mine to ruin, and mine to put back together."

"Always."

Sometimes, I just want the quiet parts. The slow, sweet gratification of aftercare. The chance to touch you without demand, to simply be here, tending to you. Hours where I do nothing but care for you, to bathe you in the dim light of a too-warm shower, kneeling at your feet, kissing each mark, each bruise, each tender place you took so beautifully, so wantonly, so stunningly.

I want to hold you close, feel the tremble of your muscles as I run my hands over your skin, soothing, worshiping, reminding. I want to press my lips to each red streak I left behind, whispering reverence against your flesh, telling you without words how much I cherish every moment you give me.

And when we are done, I will make sure you drink, make sure you eat. Yes, you might fuss, might try to pull away. That happens sometimes. I know that. Sometimes our scenes go too deep, take too much, and the quiet afterward lets shadows creep in. But I won’t let them take you. I will be there, ready. I will battle them one by one, drive them out, keep them from pulling you under.

I will gather you into my arms, tuck you close, press my lips to your temple, then your eyelids, then finally your mouth. That’s how I will hold you, how I will be your shield, your safe place, your certainty. I will make sure you know you can give me anything, any feeling, any word, or nothing at all. If you just need me to be here, I will be here.

I will be whatever you need. Because I worship you. Because I adore you. Because I am just as devoted to you as you are to me.

And with each kiss, each touch, I thank you. Thank you for putting your trust in my hands. Thank you for letting me take you apart, and for trusting me to put you back together. I will never let us leave a scene without solidifying what we are. Without reaffirming this bond.

Because it is sacred.

And so are you.

need a girl who acts tough but gets flustered instantly when i tuck my fingers underneath her chin to make her look at me

⚠️ Warning Signs of Dangerous and Unethical BDSM Practices

Entering the world of BDSM can be beautiful, empowering, and healing. But stepping into this world also means stepping into vulnerability. And where there is vulnerability, there will unfortunately always be those who seek to exploit it.

I write this not just as someone who knows the rules, but as someone who has seen the consequences when they are broken. I have witnessed red flags ignored, hearts broken, and gentle souls hurt by people who have no place in the BDSM community. I write this for every person I have seen wounded, and for every kind soul out there still searching for their place. I want to protect you by giving you the armor of seeing the warning signs, and the strength and support to walk away when something feels wrong.

Because it's important to know that not everyone who calls themselves a Dominant or Submissive has earned that title. There are those who will misuse these dynamics to excuse abuse, manipulation, and harm, by disguising cruelty as "kink."

If you are exploring, whether for the first time or after carrying the scars of past experiences, hear me now: You deserve to be safe. You deserve to be cherished. You deserve to be protected.

This guide was created not to frighten you, but to arm you, and to remind you: You are never wrong for protecting yourself. You are never wrong for walking away. Recognizing red flags does not make you cold, suspicious, or “too much.” It makes you wise.

So read this post not with fear, but with the strength of knowing you are worth more than those who would misuse your trust.

🚩 Red Flags in Dominants You Should Never Ignore

Refuses to discuss boundaries, safewords, or consent. A healthy Dominant welcomes clear communication about what you want, need, and do not consent to. If someone brushes it off, jokes about it, or tells you that "real" submission means you don't need a safeword, leave.

Removes aftercare or safewords as a form of punishment. A real, ethical Dominant will never take away your safeword or aftercare as punishment. Safewords are your lifeline, they protect your safety, sanity, and autonomy. Aftercare is vital for your emotional and physical well-being after intense scenes. These are non-negotiable rights, not rewards to be given or taken based on behavior. If anyone threatens to remove or deny your safeword or aftercare as a punishment: Walk away. You are not dealing with a Dominant. You are facing an abuser.

Pushes you into dynamics or activities you haven't agreed to. Consent must be enthusiastic and informed, not manipulated, guilted, or assumed.

Tells you that "good" submissives have no limits. You are not "bad" or "less" if you have limits. Limits are normal, healthy, and necessary.

Demands submission before trust is established. True submission is earned, not taken. A Dominant who pressures you to submit early on is not interested in your well-being, only in their control.

Dismisses aftercare as unnecessary. Aftercare is not a luxury; it's a vital part of ethical BDSM. Your emotional, mental, and physical care matters after a scene.

Demands titles (like "Mistress," "Mommy," etc.) immediately without your agreement. Titles should always be discussed, offered and accepted with consent. They are not automatic or owed.

Becomes angry or punishing when you express discomfort, ask questions, or say no. A safe Dominant will never punish you for advocating for yourself.

Is vague about their experience, references, or past partners. A Dominant with integrity will be transparent about their journey, including mistakes they've done and/or learned from.

Romanticizes or encourages unsafe practices like CNC (Consensual Non-Consent) without deep negotiation and a very strong trust foundation. CNC can be beautiful only when it is deeply negotiated and handled with extreme care. Anyone rushing into it or treating it casually is dangerous.

Plays while angry, drunk, or under the influence. Impaired judgment has no place in BDSM. Ever.

Disrespects your existing relationships, commitments, or mental health needs. A caring Dominant honors all parts of your life, not just the parts they want access to.

🚩 Red Flags in a Submissive

No Respect for Their Own Limits. A submissive who says "I have no limits" or refuses to talk about boundaries is unsafe, for themselves and for you. Everyone has limits. A refusal to acknowledge them shows inexperience, misunderstanding, or emotional instability.

Pushes for Instant Intensity. Asking for intense scenes, dangerous play (like CNC, breathplay, or heavy impact) immediately shows a lack of understanding of trust, safety, and connection. A good submissive respects the importance of pacing and building trust.

Disregards Negotiation. If they rush past important conversations about safewords, triggers, expectations, or needs, it’s a sign they may not be ready for BDSM in a healthy way.

No Safeword Agreement. A submissive refusing to use a safeword because they "want to be broken" or "don't want to stop" ignores that BDSM should be mutually safe and consensual.

Manipulation for Attention. Using guilt, self-harm threats, or emotional blackmail to get more dominance, control, or attention is abusive behavior, not submission.

Treats Submission Like a Transaction. "If I do this, you owe me that" thinking is incompatible with healthy dynamics. Submission is a gift, not a bargain for affection or attention.

Disrespecting Your Boundaries as a Dominant. A submissive who begs for things you have clearly said you are not comfortable with (pushing your own limits) is not respecting you. Dominants have limits too, and they matter just as much.

Fetishizing or Dehumanizing Dominants. Seeing Dominants only as fantasy objects ("you're just a tool for my needs") instead of real people with feelings and needs can lead to harmful, one-sided dynamics.

Poor Communication After Scenes. Refusing to give feedback, withdrawing emotionally without warning, or refusing aftercare conversations can damage trust and connection.

🚩 Dangerous Practices

Ignoring safe calls/check-ins: Especially for early meetings, safe calls (someone checking on you) are crucial.

Edgeplay with no prior experience or safety measures: Breathplay, knife play, or psychological edgeplay should only be explored with extensive education, experience, and deep trust.

Isolation tactics: If someone tries to cut you off from friends, family, or community, they are not protecting you, they are trapping you.

Public play without your clear consent: No one has the right to involve you in kink scenes or exposure without your enthusiastic yes.

No aftercare planning: Emotional and physical care after a scene is part of ethical BDSM. Its absence can leave lasting harm.

No emergency knowledge or tools. Lack of basics like safety shears during bondage scenes, or not knowing how to respond to medical emergencies (like fainting, nerve compression, panic attacks) shows dangerous irresponsibility.

Consent to One Thing, Doing Another. If someone agrees to one act but then escalates to something riskier or unrelated without asking, that is violating consent and sexual assault.

What a Healthy, Ethical Dominant Looks Like

Consistently respects your autonomy, boundaries, and voice.

Communicates openly, patiently, and invites your questions.

Treats your consent as sacred, not optional.

Prioritizes your safety, emotional health, and aftercare needs.

Understands that dominance is service, responsibility, and care, not power for power’s sake.

Grows with you. Listens, adapts, and values your humanity first.

What a Healthy, Ethical Submissive Looks Like

Honors their own limits and communicates them regularly.

Engages in thoughtful negotiation instead of rushing into intense scenes without discussion.

Uses safewords and communication tools responsibly.

Respects the Dominant’s boundaries and humanity.

Owns their emotional well-being.

Approaches submission as a gift of trust and growth.

Values ongoing consent and connection.

True BDSM is based on

Informed and respected consent

Trust and mutual care

Respect for limits

Constant communication

Ongoing negotiation

There is no kink so “hardcore” that it should ever ignore safety or consent. Ever.

A Gentle Reminder

You are not "too much" for having boundaries. You are not "too needy" for wanting aftercare. You are not "too difficult" for wanting to feel safe and respected. You are allowed and encouraged to walk away the moment something feels wrong. You deserve a dynamic that lifts you, protects you, and cherishes you.

And if you ever feel unsure or currently in an unsafe dynamic, reach out to trusted friends, help lines, or community spaces where ethical BDSM is practiced and discussed, for help. You are never alone.

Stay safe. Stay empowered. And above all, stay loved. 🤍