Tbh I Really Dislike How Aphobia Tends To Be Discussed Whenever There's Some Kind Of Incident That Makes

tbh I really dislike how aphobia tends to be discussed whenever there's some kind of incident that makes it visible to general society. The most common response seems to be some variation of "why would anyone hate asexual/aromantic people, they aren't even doing anything" and it just always sits wrong with me. It paints such a passive picture of our existence and feels like a comment influenced by the level of invisibility that aspec people have in society. Why would you be annoyed by someone who is practically invisible? Just go back to ignoring their existence, it's easy!

But despite the invisibility, aspec people are actually doing quite a lot of things that will piss off queerphobic, right-wing and religious people (and hell, even left-wing people). And the most obvious point is that we are actively not performing heterosexuality the way they want us to. People who's entire world view is "cis men and women should be in monogamous, heterosexual marriage and have (white) babies" are not going to lean back and say "oh but those asexuals and aromantics are fine". They will also hate our guts, and they will come up with all sorts of reasons, including insinuating we're all secretly into bestiality, or mentally ill, or not human, or attention seeking children. It's just plain old queerphobia, and like all queerphobia, there's no inherent logic to it which you can worm your way out of by "not doing anything".

And like, there's a lot more that aspec people do which people hate. Raising awareness about amatonormativity? People feel attacked, they hate it. Asexual people having sex? Or not having sex? People hate it! Aromantic people being in (seemingly) romantic relationships? People fucking hate it! Aromantic people having sex? Ohh people hate that!!

I guess the existence of aphobia can be confusing when you haven't spent much time thinking about asexuality and aromanticism, but in the end, these are identities that aren't heteronormative and they will be hit with the same or similar bigotry as any other queer identity. I just get tired of this response after seeing it recycled for 10 years without ever seeming to go any further.

More Posts from Flowerpetalscout and Others

flowerpetalscout

4 weeks ago

So within two days of each other, Fox News writes an article comparing aromanticism and asexuality to pedophilia, and then Matt Walsh releases a video saying asexuality is a mental illness and asexuals are tricking teenagers into having depression.

Not sure what’s going on right now over in Conservative World, but it’s a hell of wild U-turn for them to suddenly switch from “Oh no! The left is sexualizing our children!” to “Oh no! The left is asexualizing our children!”

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flowerpetalscout

1 month ago

My University has a requirement that, regardless of your degree, you need to take at least one course that centers on the experiences of a marginalized community or communities. I took a course on the psychological trauma of racism. There was a whole week's worth of lectures and conversations sprinkled throughout the course about how racism affects white people.

My second to last assignment for this course is writing about how we will do something for social change. And part of what we've been discussing all this course is how white people need to specifically think about the privileges and the ways racism also affects you negatively. Understanding that is a good way to start discussions with white people about racism, especially as a white person. Which is what's emphasized throughout the course: starting conversations. Starting discussions, whether in your personal life or your career, are a great way to do something for social change.

This was an introductory course with no prerequisites. There was a specific video we watched of a black man talking about how white people don't understand how this system also harms them as well and his frustration that we don't identify that.

Of course we should just care that people are suffering, and that should be enough, but part of the issue is the way people misidentify their suffering to come from people fighting oppressive systems and not the oppressive systems themselves harming them also.

why the emphasis on men suffering? nobody says that white ppl suffer under white supremacy because they don't, it's there to benefit them and only them, same with the patriarchy and any other oppressive state

People do in fact talk about white people suffering under white supremacy. I have seen many different anti-racist thinkers discuss that exact topic.

There is literally no benefit from insisting that oppressive systems are 100% good and healthy for those who benefit from them. It is good when people go "actually this system sucks and makes mine and everyone else's life worse."

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flowerpetalscout

4 weeks ago