Pettiness Is A Dish Always Best Served Hot; Guardian X Crow And Cayde :)

!! ⊹ ࣪Hazard dating hc's⊹ ࣪ ˖ !!

A/N: @yourpalrowan requested this!

 I FINALLYYYY got my grubby little hands on a laptop I’m so sorry this took fucking forever to come out 😭

Warnings: phantom pains, depression(?), struggling with stuff, angst, fluff, swearing(?), the phreaks teasing the hell out of hazard, slight oblivious reader, girl boss pussy queen hazard, gentleman!hazard, mention of taking pills

⚠︎︎ Hazard first met you through Suzie, Suzie and the gang were at the same bar they usually go to, she first met you when she went to go grab something for the gang and after you and her started talking and hanging out you and her immediately clicked, after all the hangouts and bff dates she decided to take you to go meet the rest of the phreaks.

When Suzie first brought you to the Phreak’s place, they were all wary of you thinking you were a spy of sorts, but after Suzie started bringing you back more and more you started a friendship with all of them.

Hazard, however started to develop a huge crush on you, everytime you came he’d look at you with love in his eyes which the Phreaks saw besides you, cue them teasing the fuck out of him and them pushing him to confront you about his feelings, as to which he did :D

⚠︎︎ He first took you out on a date to a punk bar which during that date thought was a bad idea after both of you witnessed a fucking fight so he just took you out to go eat at a local diner 😭 

After the both of you got done it started raining and him being an absolute gentleman used his jacket as an umbrella for the both of you <3

⚠︎︎ after a couple dates you and haz decided to make it official and also decided to tell the Phreaks, after you told them they started fucking CHEERINGGG for you and him (mainly for him), when Revel and Jackdaw were talking to haz Boomslang, Touch-up and Suzie pulled you to the side to congratulate  you which left you confused cuz they’re acting like you and haz got married but still you were grateful for them

⚠︎︎ Hazard likes to play his guitar for you when the 2 of you are alone and you like to sing while he does play, hell even he’ll join you

⚠︎︎ sometimes he gets phantom pains really fucking badly that if there’s a mission they had planned for they need to push it back for him to have a rest day, but after you met him, he begrudgingly agrees for you to help him, but after you help him his ass is in HEAVEN

⚠︎︎ he loves seeing hang out with his friends and with maisie, even if you aren’t a big dog person, you like playing with her, and if you ARE a dog person that’s even better for you and Haz <3

⚠︎︎ on the term of you not being a dog person Hazard will take you out on a date to like a cat cafe or another animal cafe and you and him WILL be having a blast at those cafes, like he’s a sucker for raccoon cafes, otter cafes, cats cafes and dog cafes (you decided to take him out to a dog cafe against even if you don’t like dogs)

⚠︎︎ also on relaxing days with the him you guys like going to small businesses or like the farmers market for funsies, I picture him supporting small businesses in his free time because he likes seeing more art and trinkets made with love instead of the same ideas bigger companies make

⚠︎︎ he has depression, I think we all know that after everything that had happened to him, he takes antidepressants to help but sometimes when somethings wrong he’ll look for you, lay his head on your thighs and take about what's going on with him, and you’ll just listen to him quietly and sometimes you’’ll reassure him otherwise, he’ll also sometimes forget to take his antidepressants so you’ll like text him or tell him “remember to take your pills love <3”

⚠︎︎  have you guys seen that spray of hazard of him curling a weight? Yeah he’s hella strong man, like he everytime he sees you he’ll pick you up and spin you around like you’re a pretty princess :>, you like “helping” him do situps but in reality you just sit on his lap and everytime he sits you kiss him, he really loves it when you do that, if your short he’ll like put you on his shoulders and it doesn’t matter how much you weigh he does NOT give a flying fuck cuz he loves you so much.

⚠︎︎ he looks at you with so much love, like I said it doesn’t matter how much you weigh, or how you looks he loves you all the same

⚠︎︎ either boomslang or Touch-up are his wingwomen and Suzie’s yours.

I just felt like putting that out there

⚠︎︎ he likes it when you express yourself with clothes, art, poetry and more, he likes that you’re yourself without anyone telling you who or what to be, he thinks its so punk

A/N: I  feel SOOO bad about taking 5 thousand years to fucking make this, but I hope you enjoyed and thank you so much for requesting!

Transformers AU headcanon (AKA Humanformers worldbuilding)

What if... Cybertronians are humans?

Autobots are men and women with Marvel-ish superpowers, so their robot-names are just nickname. Example: Optimus Prime is nothing but a codename for Commander Marcus Cullen, a British man (he was born in London) settled in USA; his sons, Alex and Nathan Cullen, are Bumblebee and Smokescreen respectively; etc. etc. They have a normal look, natural hair and eyes color. So Marcus/Optimus' hair - despite of all Human!Optimus fanarts I found on web, are not blue but dark brown, despite this he has naturally azure eyes; his fiancee Eleanor Miles (AKA Elita One) has not pink hair and blue eyes but red hair and green eyes - yes, Black Widow style! And yes, no tragic backstory for Opty (why people loves Human!Optimus as widow/depressed single daddy? Boh... *shuggles*)

Decepticons are superhumans as well, but evil and with a demonic/monstrous look: human/animal hybrids, cyborgs, androids... NOT a mafia organization in suit and tie (Damn, this is Sci-fi, not a realistic drama! 😅)! So, for example, Morgan Lazarevic aka Megatron is a Lucifer/The Fallen's spawn, half demon and half vampire, always wearing... not a bucket helm but a hood and a cape. He's NOT married with Starscream and/or Soundwave but his wife is a Lilith-ish dark lady... and yes, he's Optimus' big bro

More ideas will come in due time. Let me know what do you think... :)

@jessica-cooper Thank you so much for these amazing drawing of my guardians (and their lovers)! They are beautiful, and one of them might be the header for a future chapter of Forbidden!

The Thirteen Prime Zodiac

In my Embers-verse Cybertron has a pretty long history, which I’m still fleshing out, a part of that is a zodiac based on the Thirteen Primes!

By the time that the Cybertronian Autobot-Decepticon War, a.k.a. The Great War, occurs the Thirteen Primes & anything associated with them are largely considered to be myth & legend.

The Thirteen Zodiac is considered to be archaic & is largely disregarded, though there are certain groups who still pay it mind. Amongst these interested groups are scholars, the religious, mystic enthusiasts, & fans of the legends of The Thirteen.

It was once believed that a newspark’s personality and fate could be predicted through the star sign they had been born under. The star signs are as follows:

Prima - The Judge

Vector Prime - The Tempest

Alpha Prime - The Scribe

Solus Prime - The Forgemaster

Micronus Prime - The Loyal

Alchemist Prime - The Wizard

Nexus Prime - The Guardian

Onyx Prime - The Masked

Amalgamous Prime - The Trickster

Quintus Prime - The Traveler

Liege Maximo - The Deceiver

 Megatronus - The Fallen

Thirteen - The Forgotten

Below is a brief description of a few traits associated with each sign. More in depth writing concerning the traits and fates associated with each sign will come soon! As well as information concerning which signs belong to notable Cybertronians!

Continua a leggere

Meditation (Genji x Reader)

//Hello everyone! This is my first actual post on here, hope you all like it~

You’re sitting on a picnic blanket with Genji in the gardens of his estate, enjoying the spring weather. The sakura trees have just begun to blossom, covering the trees in pale pink flowers and filling the air with a faint floral aroma. You lean into Genji and close your eyes, resting your head between his shoulder and his neck. He wraps his arm around you and pulls you closer, making you smile. You sigh happily. It had taken a long time for him to get this comfortable with you, but it was well worth the wait.

“Genji,” you murmur.

He looks down at you and speaks slowly, “What is it…” he pauses and his eyes dart away from yours as his face reddens. He swallows before continuing, “… Honey?” He chuckles at his embarrassment.

Your heart seems to swell in your chest and you grin at him. Genji is still getting used to using pet names—something he had never used seriously before dating you. You told him he didn’t need to use a pet name if he wasn’t comfortable with it, but he insisted that he wanted to.

You sit upright and face him. “Can you teach me how to meditate?”

His eyes gleam and he smiles sincerely. It was the first time anyone wanted to learn something he now loved to do.

He spends the next few minutes “warming you up” by walking you through light stretches to relax your muscles and showing you a comfortable position to meditate in.

Once the two of you are settled, sitting face-to-face, Genji begins talking you through the meditation process. He tells you to close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing and how the breaths flow in and out of your body.

Genji’s voice is so soothing that you immediately feel relaxed. He keeps guiding you through the meditation and the gaps between his spiels become longer and longer. Eventually he falls silent and you’re left listening to the world around you. Birds chatter. Insects drone in the distance. The sound of flowing water enters your ears and you feel at peace with the world.

A few minutes pass and a light breeze blows through the garden, making the sakura branches sway. You’re pulled out of your concentration by mild curiosity. You open your eyes to peek at Genji.

He’s looking at you lovingly. When you open your eyes, he grins. “Sorry. I couldn’t concentrate… I was so happy,” he said and laughed. “And… You look so pretty when you’re relaxed.”

You blush and snuggle up to him. “You’re so unfair. I thought you were meditating too!”

Genji chuckles and runs his fingers through your hair. “I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.” He leans down and plants a kiss on your forehead. Before he pulls away, you wrap your arms loosely around his neck and nuzzle his nose. “We should meditate more often,” you say. He grins and kisses your lips.

“Of course… Honey.”

//Shout-out to @freedomaboveallelse for introducing me to OW and the fandom! I am now OW trash hahaha;;;

Hi! So I'd like to request (if you want too) headcanons of Hazard and reader having a hard-core flirting thing going on. But neither is making a move and everyone's like bro KISS ALREADY-

You can decide who makes the first move!

(Also I love ur writing I need more of this man)

What it would be like to hardcore flirt with Hazard (JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY)

General Dynamic

- Hazard and you are constantly locking eyes in conversations, but instead of looking away, they hold the gaze with a subtle smirk or eyebrow raise. It leaves everyone in the room feeling like a third wheel.

- Their banter is razor-sharp but never truly mean—it's like a game of verbal chicken where both are testing how far they can push before it gets real.

- Leaning too close while explaining something, brushing fingers when handing over items, or Hazard casually putting your hair behind your ear because “it bothered him”.

- Hazard calls Reader things like “sweetheart” and “hotshot” while Reader shoots back with “tough guy” and “Spiked for brains”. The nicknames become progressively flirtier over time.

Group Reactions

- Mutual friends and even the Phreaks are so done with it. Constant comments like, *“Will you two just kiss already?”* or blatant matchmaking attempts at group events.

- Hazard will throw a “don't wait up" as Reader leaves the room just to rile everyone up. Reader, unfazed, winks and says, "You wish."

- The group starts theorizing that the prolonged flirting is some kind of elaborate prank or game they're playing with each other.

Hazard’s Style

- Hazard loves to lean in close when talking, with that trademark smirk, and then back away *just* as it seems like he might actually say something meaningful.

- Occasionally, Hazard lets the guard down—just for a second—saying something like, *“You’re not as bad as I thought you were,”* before immediately covering it up with a laugh.

- Hazard steps in when needed, whether it’s someone hitting on Reader or a dangerous situation, but plays it cool after, with a casual, *“Can’t let anything happen to my favorite rival, can I?”*

Your Moves

- You play the game just as well, but occasionally stumbles over a quip when Hazard’s intensity catches them off guard.

- After you found out that Hazard likes to be praise, you tend to sneak in small praises like “You’re annoyingly good at this, y’know?” which Hazard always catches and turns into a smug grin or if you catch him guard…you’ll just see a freshly made tomato :].

- You LOVE to outdo Hazard just to see that spark of competitive fire in his eyes—whether it’s in training, arguments, casual bets or just to see how much flustered can you get him before he breaks.

- Speaking of breaking first, one night, when the teasing’s gone too far, Hazard corners you, smirks, and plants one hand against the wall beside your head. "Ye’ve been dancin’ ‘round this for long enough” he says, his voice low, laced with that distinct Scottish lilt. You raise an eyebrow, trying to hold your ground despite the way his words send a shiver down your spine. “Oh, do you? Go on, Hazard, enlighten me." His smirk deepens, and he leans in, his breath warm against your ear. "Ye want me tae make the first move. Admit it, lass." You let out a scoff, though your voice wavers slightly. "Big words for someone who’s been as scared to do it as me." Hazard pulls back just enough to meet your eyes, his teasing smirk softening into something sharper, more determined. "If ye think I’m scared, ye dinnae ken me at all." Before you can fire back, he closes the gap, catching your lips in a kiss that's rough and unrestrained, like he’s been holding back for far too long. When he finally pulls away, his breath mingling with yours, he grins, his accent thick and dripping with smugness, "Told ye I’d be the one tae break first." You grab the front of his jacket, pulling him closer, a smirk of their own spreading across their face, "Don’t get cocky, Hazard. This isn’t over yet." And just like that, the tension snaps, the teasing taking on a fiery, new intensity.

             Mass Effect Media Megapost Version 2.0 (V 1.0 here)

It’s been about a year since I put these up so I thought it was about time for a bit of an update. I’ve added the most recent comic from Free Comic Book Day about Joker, put placeholders for the new series Foundation and updated all the links.

First off, none of these files were created by me, they have come from various places and friends when I wanted digital copies of the books and comics in addition to my hard copies. So thank you to all the kind people who have uploaded these over the past few years.

Remember if you do enjoy them please show your support! You can buy all of these in various places such as:

Things From Another World - have all the comics and worldwide shipping.

For fellow Australians - Kings Comics have them most of the comics, and very cheap postage and so do Minotaur.

Dark Horse Digital - digital copies of all comics available.

Book Depository - have the novels (and some comics) for a low price with free postage.

Additionally, most of the comics are now availble in the Library (Volume 1) Collection.

To read the .cbr/.cbz files there are a few options (all free)

ComicRack (also available on the android marketplace)

CDisplay

SimpleComic (Mac)

In timeline order for the most part (all descriptions are from the Mass Effect Wiki)

Mass Effect: Evolution - Set in 2157 during the First Contact War, and the story covers the origins of the Illusive Man and Cerberus.

Issue #1 Issue #2 Issue #3 Issue #4

Mass Effect: Revelation (Novel) - Prequel to Mass Effect, set in the year 2165. Its plot involves David Anderson and Saren Arterius investigating an attack on a human research station.

Mass Effect: He Who Laughs Best - a single-issue comic released on May 4, 2013 for Free Comic Book Day 2013. It delves into how Jeff “Joker" Moreau became the SSV Normandy’s pilot prior to the events of Mass Effect.

Mass Effect: Ascension (Novel) - Set a few months after the events of Mass Effect, and concerns a young biotic prodigy, Gillian Grayson, pursued by Cerberus. 

Mass Effect: Redemption - A prequel to Mass Effect 2, and is set a few months after the opening events of Mass Effect 2. The plot involves Liara T’Soni, Cerberus, and a mission of the utmost urgency.

Issue #1 Issue #2 Issue #3 Issue #4

Mass Effect: Incursion - An eight-page mini-comic that follows Aria T’Loak’s encounter with the Collectors one week prior to the opening events of Mass Effect 2.

Mass Effect: Inquisition - Taking place after Mass Effect 2, the plot revolves around Captain Bailey and his investigation of Executor Pallin and allegations of corruption within C-Sec.

Mass Effect: Paragon Lost - a prequel to Mass Effect 3, follows the early career of Alliance Marine, James Vega as he leads an elite Special Forces squad into battle against a mysterious alien threat known as the Collectors.

BluRay 720p [torrent] - 3.5GB BDRIP [torrent] - 680MB Watch Online

Mass Effect: Retribution (Novel) - Set one year after the events of Mass Effect 2, and concerns Cerberus, and their investigation of Reaper technology by using it on Paul Grayson.

Mass Effect: Conviction - Days after the events of Arrival, David Anderson locates Alliance marine James Vega on Omega and tasks him with guarding an important prisoner.

Mass Effect: Invasion - Invasion focuses on Aria T’Loak’s battle against the human-survivalist organization Cerberus as it attacks Omega.

Issue #1 Issue #2 Issue #3 Issue #4

Mass Effect: Deception (Novel) 

Mass Effect: Homeworlds - a comic series written by Mass Effect 2 and Mass Effect 3 lead writer, Mac Walters in cooperation with character writers for each respective POV character. Each installment will focus on a main character from Mass Effect 3.

Issue #1 - James Vega: Hell on Earth Issue #2 - Tali’Zorah vas Normandy: The Galaxy Betrayed Issue #3 - Garrus Vakarian: A Bullet for Your Sins Issue #4 - Liara T’Soni: Last Hope for the Galaxy!

Blasto: Eternity is Forever - a single-issue comic featuring Blasto, a fictional hanar Spectre featured in several films in the Mass Effect universe.

Mass Effect: Foundation (Upcoming Series)

Issue #1 (July 24th 2013) - Introduces readers to an enigmatic “agent" and revealing the story of her time spent on the violent mining colony of Themis.

Issue #2 - August 28th 2013: Urdnot Wrex-one of the most dangerous mercenaries in the galaxy-crosses paths with a mysterious secret agent in this explosive adventure!

Issue #3 - September 25th 2013 - The loss of the human colony Eden Prime was the first in a series of catastrophes to mark the return of the Reapers-a race of sentient AI that would threaten all life in the galaxy. Now, in her own words, Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams reveals what she saw.

If any links go down just leave a message in my ask and I’ll do my best to fix it ASAP.

ENJOY!

Nice Question. My favorite of all is obviously Beauty and the Beast. 😊

Most Romantic Disney Movie?

Asking for opinions for... REASONS. But what Disney movie (I’m talking original animated) do people think is the most romantic one out there?

Christmas with Cayde-6

- it’s your first Dawning together <3 - wearing very ugly but matching Christmas sweaters - also getting little ugly Christmas sweaters for Colonel and Sundance - snowball fights (╯°□°）╯︵ °o Ooミ＼(≧ﾛ≦＼) - “If you throw that snowball at me you’re declaring war, sweetheart” -  this boy got some good aim and his throws hurt, but he’ll make it up to you ;) - another guardian hitting your face with a snowball and Cayde being the protective boyfriend and beating them up in the parking lot (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง - kiss under the mistletoe bound on his beautiful, beautiful horn ( ͡°з ͡°) - playing in the snow together like little kids on missions - “You. Me. Snowman. Now.” ☃️ - “Let’s make snow angels!” - “Cayde, are you nine?” - “No, 126, I think.” - baking Dawning cookies for him and he’s so excited and happy about it <3333 - “All this… for me? I can’t believe you did this for me.” (／。＼) - baking more cookies and he’s always sneaking in to eat the dough ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) - “CAYDE stop eating the dough or I’m gonna smack you with the spoon!” ò_ó - torturing Cayde with cheesy Christmas carols :)))))) - “I swear if I hear Last Christmas one more time I’m gonna blow something up.” - even more torturing him with Christmas songs :)))))))))) - “If I’ll hear one more Mariah Carey song I’ll kill anyone in the tower and then myself” T_T - Christmas shopping and Cayde absolutely haaaaates it :D - “I’m more than 100 years old. I don’t want to take a picture with Santa Claus.” - 5 minutes later: “Woah I can’t believe we met Santa!” 🎅🏼 - cuddled up in front of the tv watching Home Alone together - “Can we please watch something else? This is the 4th time we watched Home Alone today.” - Cayde running around yelling “IT’S TURBOTIME!” - Cayde hurting himself putting up decorations and getting tangled in lights - “Ho ho ho mother fuc-“ “Cayde, there are kids around” - decorating the christmas tree together 🎄 - him trying to put you on top of the tree because you’re his star ✨ *-* - Cayde putting out ramen instead of milk and cookies for Santa (what a cutie) - Cayde taking you back to the Cosmodrome, you two admiring the snow ❄️ - “Let’s go for a walk. I’m making sure you’re not freezing.” ;)) - he’s giving you his cloak and hugs you when you’re freezing (◕ ˬ ◕) - “You can suck my bells.” ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)  - “Cayde NO” ( ͡°⁄ ⁄ ͜⁄ ⁄ʖ⁄ ⁄ ͡°) - sex in the snow  *✧･ﾟ♡*( ͡˘̴ ͜ ʖ̫ ͡˘̴ )*♡･ﾟ✧*: - visiting Shiro-4 at the Iron Tempel - Cayde’s giving Shiro his burnt Dawning cookies made with love <3 awwwww - hot ramen shop dates to warm up 🍜 - buying each other Christmas gifts 🎁 - “Did you seriously get me a chicken for Christmas, Cayde?” 🐓 - going ice skating for the first time and Cayde clinging to you like his life depends on it ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ - “If I fall, we fall together. it looks less stupid, okay?” ._.” - Cayde getting drunk on eggnog and gluhwein - “How many glasses did you drink?” - “J-jusssst a f-f-eeew… Hey babe. L-listen. S-santa Claus is just a fat guy breaking in houses and leaving p-presents lol” - drunk Cayde singing Christmas carols and Last Christmas - dressing up in a sexy Santa costume for him - “Have you been a good boy this year?” - “Hell no. I’m #1 on the naughty list.”;) - a really cliché but wonderful winter wonderland Christmas proposal ♥

Florence Castle's HEROES OF CYBERTRON - Ep. 01: BLURR

Erano secoli che non porto a compimento un progetto a nome del forum di Autorobot.it, ma finalmente mi son decisa a farlo. Per cui oggi inauguro una specie di pseudo-serie TV in cui vi parlerò delle più grandi icone dei noti robot trasformanti di casa Hasbro. Non so con che cadenza pubblicherò le "puntate", ma vi prometto che "andranno in onda" a brevi intervalli l'una dall'altra. Okkei, dopo questo preambolo, benvenuti a HEROES OF CYBERTRON!

NOTA: Alcune immagini non sono mie, ma vengono dal sito DeviantArt. Articolo scritto da me, con l'approvazione di @jazzluca.

***

PUNTATA 1: BLURR, il Bot vivente più veloce dell’Universo

Sonic the Hedgehog dell’omonima saga videoludica SEGA; il duo a fumetti Flash della DC Comics e Quicksilver della Marvel; l’alieno XLR8 della megaserie animata Ben 10; Beep Beep/Road Runner e il topino Speedy Gonzales dei Looney Tunes... sono solo alcuni dei personaggi fittizi che hanno in comune l’appellativo di “cosa vivente più veloce del mondo”, ma il rappresentante Transformer più famoso di questa categoria non può che essere colui che Gianni Rodari ribattezzerebbe “Freccia Azzurra” in onore del suo omonimo racconto: Blurr!

Conosciuto in Italia negli anni Ottanta col nome di Flash, Blurr è universalmente ricordato per essere uno tra gli Autobot più veloci e per l’altrettanto veloce (e spesso incomprensibile!) parlantina attribuitagli in diverse occasioni, divenuta col tempo marchio di fabbrica del personaggio. Inoltre, in più di trent’anni del brand, Blurr ha avuto almeno otto incarnazioni diverse, divise tra omaggi G1 più o meno brillanti e libere interpretazioni autonome; tra l’altro, il modello G1 è l’“auto fittizia più veloce” secondo il sito Forbes.com, battendo in volata la Mach Five del film Speed Racer (2008) con 500 miglia orarie, contro le appena 258 del secondo classificato. Ma quali sono le origini di questo Usain Bolt dei Transformers?

Blurr fa la sua prima comparsa nel brand nel Film Animato del 1986 come uno dei nuovi Autobot distaccati ad Autobot City sulla Terra, per poi approdare giocoforza nella successiva Stagione 3 G1 spesso e volentieri a fianco del survivalista poeta Wheelie, come si vede nella miniserie-pilota Le Cinque Facce dell’Oscurità: qui il neo Comandante Rodimus Prime gli affida la delicata missione di consegnare l’ingranaggio di trasformazione di Metroplex ad Autobot City prima che cada nelle mani nemiche. In seguito, Blurr si limita a fornire assistenza e copertura ai suoi compagni in diverse occasioni, il che fa a pugni con l’originale ruolo descritto nella Bio del personaggio, ovvero un semplice messaggero. Nel contempo, però, si dimostra un valido guerriero a tal punto da meritarsi un secondo ruolo nella G1, in particolare per la serie Targetmaster e nei fumetti della IDW, nei quali invece viene descritto con sole tre parole: corridore, soldato, barista. Sì, perché il nostro Flash, dopo numerose scorribande, ora si ritrova a gestire una locanda chiamata Maccadam’s Old Oil House e lo vediamo anche nei fumetti di Windblade a ricoprire lo stesso ruolo; ciononostante, è pur sempre un ottimo consigliere e/o intermediario per la protagonista! Tuttavia, la sua genesi risale a uno Spotlight ricalcato sul modello di un film come Cars: Motori Ruggenti, per un pubblico molto giovane e senza pretese.

***

Per quanto riguarda le altre versioni, non bisogna trascurare l’infelice incarnazione nella Trilogia Unicron, perché la sua caratterizzazione in quest’universo appare assai confusa agli occhi dei fan: il personaggio di Blurr, infatti, esordisce in Armada come un tosto veterano, lontano quindi dall’iconografia del G1 semplicemente perché dell’originale velocista ha solo il nome, dato che nella versione giapponese della serie in realtà si chiamava Silverbolt (come lo storico capo degli Aerialbot!). Successivamente, per la serie Cybertron, esce un modellino basato sull’Armada con colori e fattezze che omaggiano il G1, la cui storia è legata al pianeta Velocitron, mentre però nel cartone spesso e volentieri vengono mostrati degli Autobot sulla Terra camuffati col suo stesso altmode.

Il colpo di genio arriva nel 2008, con l’esordio nella fortunata serie Animated, disegnata da Derrick J.Wyatt, coprendo ben sei episodi di fila (o solo tre, considerando la mancata esportazione in Italia della terza stagione). Il personaggio arriva sulla Terra, in altmode, nell’episodio della Stagione 2 I Demoni della Strada sotto il nome di “Blue Racer” – e già questa potrebbe essere una definizione che rivela il nome del personaggio. In questo suo esordio Animated, nonostante la reputazione di chiacchierone, Blurr non dice una sola parola e né viene presentato come “figlio” dell’AllSpark, ma piuttosto come un membro della già nota Guardia d’Élite. Esteticamente questo Blurr, secondo le voci della BotCon dell’epoca, presenta dei lievi omaggi all’ormai defunto TransTech Cheetor, come ad esempio le caratteristiche “ruote vuote” sui piedi; al contempo condivide col G1 non solo l’aspetto seppur stilizzato, ma anche la voce americana, ovvero John Moschitta Jr., sebbene con la tipica parlantina veloce “semplificata” riscontrabile anche dal nostrano Davide Garbolino. Per quanto riguarda l’altmode, per una probabile coincidenza ricorda abbastanza la Mach Five di Speed Racer... oppure una futuristica quattroruote figlia dell’universo fantascientifico di Tron! Con la Stagione 3, inedita in Italia, la musica cambia e il celebre velocista esce sconfitto e ridotto in un cubo. Questo, però, non pone fine alla carriera del personaggio: omaggiando le sventure di Waspinator in Beast Wars, Wyatt ha presentato sul proprio blog un’illustrazione che spiega come la Scintilla di Blurr sia sopravvissuta all’interno del cubo di metallo in cui il corpo è stato compresso; il che spinge gli addetti ai lavori a comporre una storia nella BotCon 2015, intitolata The Return of Blurr, per confermare che è sopravvissuto alla dolorosa tortura subita da Shockwave.

Ovviamente non poteva mancare, in occasione della BotCon 2008, una brillante particina nell’universo speculare Shattered Glass, nel quale veste i panni di un feroce cecchino nero e blu monco di un occhio, ciecamente fedele alla filosofia «Più sono intelligente, più in fretta crepi», giusto per citare il “biglietto da visita” del modellino uscito in edizione limitata in quel periodo.

Ma la vera sorpresa è ritrovare il personaggio addirittura nella Continuity Allineata, macrouniverso creato agli inizi del 2010 allo scopo di “diventare la fusione dei numerosi progetti Transformers per la decade a venire”: l’esordio avviene nei romanzi di Alex Irvine, nello specifico in Exile, come uno dei migliori corridori di Velocitron; quest’ultima caratteristica del personaggio, ereditata dalla defunta versione Cybertron dello stesso, ritorna in Rescue Bots, nei panni questa volta di una giovane recluta finita suo malgrado sulla Terra insieme all’altrettanto sfortunato Autobot Salvage. Seppur con qualche lieve modifica estetica e con una livrea stile G1/Animated, e pur conservando gli “occhiali” del predecessore, lo stesso Blurr ricompare nella serie Robots in Disguise (2015), nella terza stagione intitolata Combiner Force.

L’ultima apparizione nota di Blurr in una serie animata risale al 2018. Si tratta di Cyberverse, che collega diverse trame famose di altre Continuity (non diversamente da quella “Allineata” degli anni ‘10) e le unisce in una nuova storia ispirata ai classici G1 usando personaggi evergreen. Nel caso di Blurr, è un agente e velocista originario di Velocitron (un collegamento con gli omonimi di Cybertron e della Continuity Allineata) nonché amico di Bumblebee, che purtroppo compare solo in una puntata e per di più in un flashback. Un vero peccato, perché possedeva delle caratteristiche interessanti: un look ispirato alla controparte IDW e il fastidioso difetto di parlare troppo velocemente “ereditato” dalla G1 e da Animated, anche se quest’ultimo particolare non viene rappresentato nella serie.

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Come giocattolo, Blurr ha ricevuto poco più di una dozzina di modellini, sette nel solo macrouniverso G1! Prima di tutto, negli anni Ottanta uscirono due versioni del personaggio storico: quello canonico dell’86 e il Targetmaster dell’87, con la differenza che quest’ultimo presentava una livrea più brillante e più vicina possibile al settei originale rispetto al primo. Anche per la Trilogia Unicron abbiamo avuto due modellini: quello Armada del 2002, un Deluxe vecchia scuola il cui altmode assomiglia a una Ferrari F50 (venduto anche in Giappone nel set Street Speed Mini-Con Team); e quello Cybertron del 2005, anch’esso un vecchio Deluxema tarato come mero recolor del modello precedente e modificato ad hoc per contenere la gimmik delle Cyber Key – nel caso di Blurr del pianeta Velocitron. Lo stesso modello lo ritroviamo, come anticipato sopra, come figure esclusiva della BotCon 2008 per la serie Shattered Glass, anche se in realtà conserva la Cyber Key del modellino di Cybertron!

Contemporaneamente esce il Deluxe Blurr per la linea Animated: bello, elegante e longilineo al punto giusto, con un’arma somigliante in tutto e per tutto al G1 – il cofano dell’auto che poteva diventare alla bisogna uno scudo con lama seghettata retrattile. Tre anni dopo, data la sua somiglianza al TransTech Cheetor, la Hasbro non si è risparmiata nel ricavare da questo stampo una figure esclusiva per il cosiddetto “Club dei Collezionisti”, con le fattezze del simpatico Maximal scavezzacollo delle Beast Wars in salsa tutt’altro che animalesca!

Nel frattempo, negli anni Dieci del Duemila, la Hasbro presenta al mondo un tripudio di Blurr, sia classici sia moderni. Per la linea Generations del 2010, per esempio, ecco un Deluxe Blurr come remold del già ottimo modello di Drift, apprezzato soprattutto dai TFan del Belpaese per il look praticamente sputato agli sketch del mostro sacro italico Guido Guidi, successivamente ricolorato per la linea United dell’anno seguente e poi ancora per il gift set Autobot Heroes del 2016 – in tutti e tre i casi Blurr ha la sua tipica livrea G1, ma è armato di fucile da cecchino, come invece si vede nei fumetti IDW. Nello stesso anno, arriva un altro Deluxe, questa volta per la Titan Returns, colorato come il vecchio giocattolo G1 nella versione Hasbro e come nel cartone originale G1 nella versione Takara; inoltre, la sua testa/Titan Master, gimmik chiave di questa linea, omaggia il suo partner Targetmaster fin dal nome, seppur con grafia completamente diversa per motivi tutt’ora sconosciuti (da Haywire a Hyperfire, per intenderci).

Una menzione d’onore va invece alla linea Studio Series, linea di modelli nata come celebrazione degli oltre dieci anni della saga cinematografica Transformers, quasi in parallelo all’uscita del film su Bumblebee. Non solo, essa spezza una lancia persino per il film dell’86, da cui sono tratti alcuni personaggi chiave quali ovviamente Blurr: quest’ultimo si presenta come un Deluxe perfettamente basato sul settei originale, dalla scultura inedita fino alla colorazione, definendolo un ottimo rimpiazzo al precedente TR.

Per la Continuity Allineata, infine, c’è l’imbarazzo della scelta, tra un anonimo modellino della linea kid-friendly Rescue Bots e ben tre figure dalla Robots in Disguise (2015) – un Warrior, un One-Step e un Legion, e solo il primo già sembra fedele alla controparte animata. Tuttavia queste ultime due incarnazioni hanno fatto storcere un po’ di nasi nel fandom: rappresentano davvero lo stesso personaggio? In effetti gli altmode dei due Blurr sono mostruosamente simili, e addirittura secondo gli addetti ai lavori la versione RiD “si trasforma in un’auto sportiva azzurra e bianca scolpita come un incrocio tra una Ferrari FXX Evoluzione e l’altmode G1”. Anche la colorazione è diversa: se nel primo caso è viola e bianco e non ha nulla in comune col G1, come abbiamo accennato sopra, il RiD Blurr invece è classicheggiante e moderno allo stesso tempo, anche se l’altmode mangia in testa a quello dell’Animated perché simile al Rescue Bots. E proprio per mascherare il fatto che ha un design completamente diverso, esiste pure un recolor dello stesso personaggio in formato One-Step per la linea Cyberverse, e in quanto tale non è possibile definirlo un modellino a sé stante.

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CONCLUSIONE

Io mi auguro che si possa recuperare questo personaggio un po’ trascurato ma nemmeno sconosciuto che mi è sempre piaciuto per la velocità e per certe incarnazioni dai look uno più accattivante dell’altro – anche perché correre “da zero a cento in 3,5 secondi” (come cantava Rihanna in Shut Up and Drive) ti spara in corpo un’adrenalina pazzesca e indescrivibile. Per cui, cara Hasbro, riproponi Blurr in un prossimo futuro, e possibilmente che duri molto di più senza doverlo schiacciare in un cubo o spazzarlo via con la Ruggine Cosmica... 😅

Alla prossima puntata! 😘