You knew the empty house in a quiet neighborhood was too good to be true, but you were so desperate to get out of your tiny apartment that you didn't care, and now you find yourself sharing space with something inhuman and immensely powerful. As you struggle to coexist with a ghost whose intentions you're unsure of, you find yourself drawn unwillingly into the upside world of spirits and conjurers, and becoming part of a neighborhood whose existence depends on your house staying exactly as it is, forever. But ghosts can change, just like people can. And as your feelings and your ghost's become more complex and intertwined, everything else begins to crumble. (cross-posted to Ao3)
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Any workday when you don’t go to work and aren’t sick feels strange, but you only got three words into explaining why you wanted the day off before Mr. Yagi excused you. Now you’re running around to every nursery and garden shop in the city, asking which of their plants are invasive, and buying all of them, leaving a trail of environmentalists who hate you in your wake. You’re going to have to go out of town if you ever want to buy plants again, but you’ve got plenty of plants. Enough plants to power up Dabi, Nemuri, and Tomura to a truly ridiculous degree.
“I don’t know if this is a good idea,” Keigo says when he sees you coming with the fifth oversized butterfly bush of the day. “He can’t control his consumption rate the way he used to.”
“Who cares? It’s not like I need to materialize.” Dabi is eyeing the new plant in a way that creeps you out. Four pots with charred-to-death trees are already sitting in Keigo’s front yard. “When my conjurer gets here, I’m going to burn him from the inside out.”
“Not a chance,” Nemuri says from across the street. She’s hanging out on your front porch, barely materialized. “He’s tortured two of my friends. I get to suffocate him.”
“Fuck you both. This is my neighborhood.” Tomura’s not materialized at all, but his voice echoes up and down the street. “He’s mine to kill.”
This has been going on all day. “You’re all pretty,” Keigo says, exasperated, which cracks you up. Your laughter sounds ever so slightly hysterical. “Whoever gets him first can do the honors.”
Keigo hasn’t heard the same legend Spinner has, then – that, or the idea of Dabi getting sucked back into the world between doesn’t bother him very much. As far as potential conjurer assassins go, you think Nemuri’s most likely to do the deed. She’s stronger than Dabi is, and unlike Tomura, she’s free to move around the neighborhood. Likely as not, she’ll deal with the conjurer, and the rest of you won’t have anything to do at all.
At least, that’s what you’re hoping. You believe everyone when they talk about how strong Tomura is. You doubt there are many ghosts who could go up against him and win. But you remember what Mr. Yagi said about conjurers drawing power from the world between through multiple conduits, and you remember what Aizawa said about who usually wins in clashes between ghosts and conjurers of equal or greater power. Tomura could face one ghost. Maybe even ten. But twenty, or fifty, or a hundred? You don’t see how it could work, and you don’t know how many ghosts Garaki has left to draw from.
As terrible as it feels to admit, you’re okay with sacrificing Nemuri. When it comes down to it, you’d sacrifice Dabi, too, although you wouldn’t like upsetting Keigo. It’s Tomura you don’t want to lose. He’s got a lot of strength, but he’s never used it. With that in mind, you find yourself going to Hizashi for help for the second time in the last twenty-four hours.
You find him ransacking your garden shed for makeshift weapons. He doesn’t notice you, and you take the opportunity to scare him for once, something you regret doing the instant you hear the earsplitting shriek he lets out. Inside the house, Phantom howls. “What do you want, human?” Hizashi snaps, red in the face. “Don’t you have more plants to buy?”
“Not right now,” you say. Nemuri told you to stop bringing them. She and Dabi are maxed out, and if you power Tomura up anymore he might blow up the house. “I know you’ve killed a conjurer before. Have you killed a ghost?”
Hizashi raises an eyebrow. “That’s a personal question.”
“Get over it,” you say, ignoring the affronted sound he makes. “Have you killed a ghost?”
Hizashi glances left, then right, like he’s checking for eavesdroppers. Then he nods. “Good,” you say. “I need you to teach Tomura how.”
“I know how,” Tomura says, indignant. You should have known he’d be listening. “They die the same way anything else does.”
“No, they don’t,” Hizashi says, pointedly avoiding your eyes. “If you try draining another ghost, it won’t work. You’ll just keep sucking up power from the world between, and once you exceed your capacity, you’ll blow apart. It’s a stupid way to die, which would be in-character for you.”
For once, Tomura doesn’t rise to the bait. “So I’ll send power to them. That way they’ll blow up instead of me.”
Hizashi looks surprised, but he shouldn’t be. Tomura catches on fast when he wants to. “Right, but it’s a weird feeling. It’s the opposite of what comes naturally to us. It’s not something you want to try for the first time in the middle of a fight.”
“Then I need somebody to practice on,” Tomura decides. He raises his voice. “Hey, idiot –”
“No,” Hizashi says as Dabi shouts back from across the street, calling Tomura something unrepeatable. “Dabi and Nem are both maxed out. You can’t use them.”
“What about Shirakumo?” you suggest. “If we could get rid of the ghost –”
“That ghost is my friend, and separating them like that could kill them both,” Hizashi snaps. He turns away from you and begins to pace back and forth in front of the shed. “If you really want to practice, you gloomy brat – not that you’ll need it, Nem will handle most of this before Garaki clears the top of the street – there’s only one way to do it. And you’re not going to like it.”
Tomura’s influence deepens, so dark and threatening that even you can feel it. “That’s not an option.”
“That’s your only option. You can’t practice on a live ghost, and there’s only one person on the planet you care enough about hurting to make this even slightly safe,” Hizashi says, and it clicks into place for you. “Ghostly energy doesn’t affect them the same as it affects us, and you need to get used to the sensation of discharging power.”
“I’ve done it before. When I fucked up the fence.”
“By accident. You need to do it on purpose.” Hizashi lowers his voice, and you can tell he’s trying to sound reassuring. “You don’t need to use a lot, and even if you overdo it by accident, it won’t hurt her. She’ll glow in the dark until it burns off, but that’s it.”
“No.”
“Yes,” you say. You’re not sure how much you trust Hizashi, but you’re damn sure that Tomura needs to know how to fight properly. “It’s fine. Let’s do it.”
“No!” Tomura’s voice is sharp and angry. “Don’t be stupid. I’ll use his human.”
“You don’t give a shit about my human,” Hizashi snaps. “I don’t trust you with him. To be honest, I don’t trust you with her. I don’t even trust you with that dog. But you need to learn, and if she’s okay with it –”
He breaks off midsentence. For a second you wonder if Tomura’s silenced him somehow, but then you see the way Hizashi’s making eye contact with empty space and realize that he and Tomura are talking. It takes you a second to grasp the implications, and once you do, unease uncoils in the pit of your stomach. Tomura changed the mode of communication. Whatever he and Hizashi are talking about, it’s not something he wants you to hear.
The silent part of the conversation ends when Hizashi shakes his head. “Tough shit,” he says out loud. “If you want to win against whatever’s coming here tonight, this is how it has to be.”
Tomura materializes slower than you’ve ever seen him do it. “Good,” Hizashi says. He looks to you. “Hold your hand out.”
You extend your hand and Tomura takes it. His hand is cold, like always, but it’s shaky in a way that makes you worried. “It’s okay,” you say.
Tomura won’t look at you. “Shut up.”
“It’s time,” Hizashi says. “Take the smallest amount of power you can and deliberately push it out. It’s going to feel unnatural to you, but remember, it’s not going to hurt her.”
Tomura’s eyes are closed, concentrating. You see Hizashi waving his hand in your peripheral vision, and you glance at him in time to see him mouth two words, then raise a finger to his lips. He’s sorry. He’s saying he’s sorry, and shushing you – and then a rush of cold sweeps over you, obliterating every thought and feeling in its path except one. Pain.
Hizashi lied. You know why he lied. You’ve got no idea how he successfully lied to Tomura, or if he lied at all and Tomura decided that learning to fight was worth hurting you. You decided it was, didn’t you? That’s why you volunteered. That’s why you feel like razor-sharp shards of ice are piercing through every last nerve in your body.
But that’s not the only thing you feel. Your own feelings might be gone, but in their place there’s something else – a vast, yawning emptiness, unfathomably deep and dark. Other emotions waver at its edge, confusion and hurt and fear, and slowly but surely they’re being dragged down into the black hole at the center of it all. Loneliness, or hopelessness. In Tomura’s world, they’re one and the same. That’s what this is, what these are. This is Tomura’s power. This is how he feels.
The cold dissipates suddenly, and you hear Hizashi’s voice addressing Tomura. “I’m guessing that’s all the control you’re capable of exerting. How did that feel?”
Tomura’s voice sounds strange. “You’re sure it doesn’t hurt her?”
“Definitely,” Hizashi says. You blink hard, trying to clear your vision. “Ask her. Go ahead.”
Hizashi’s at least a little bit of a sadist. “I’m fine,” you say before Tomura can ask. “Just a little cold.”
“Let’s go again,” Hizashi says, and you revise your assessment from “a little bit of a sadist” to “fully sadistic”. “One time’s a fluke. Let’s see if you can replicate it.”
It’s worse this time, because you know what’s coming. The pain is bad enough, but you’re afraid of seeing what you saw before – that glimpse into Tomura’s feelings rattled your mind more than you want to admit. You keep your eyes open this time, and instead of feeling, you see. You’re not seeing your world through Tomura’s eyes. You’re seeing through Tomura’s eyes, back into the world he came from. The world between.
You can’t grasp it, not all the way. Trying feels like it’s twisting your mind apart. There’s no light, no direction, no up or down or left or right; no landmarks to work from, no wind to push in one direction or the other – but you can feel at the same time that there are features, structures, humming cities that you can perceive but not see. The world between is empty and boiling with life at once, a different kind of life than you can grasp, a different kind than you can understand. If you wanted to understand it. You don’t. All you want is for it to stop.
“Ease off,” you hear Hizashi say, and the world between disappears from your sight. Tomura’s all that’s in your field of vision now. “Was it easier this time?”
Tomura nods, but he’s looking at you. “We can stop now. I know how to do it.”
“One more time,” Hizashi says. He’s getting off on this. He has to be. “Prove to me that you’ve got it.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.” Tomura’s grip on your hand tightens, and it happens again.
You shut your eyes this time. As much as you don’t want to see into Tomura’s head, you’d rather look at anything but the world between. This time, when you’re pulled to the edge of the void, you see that it’s not quite as empty as you first thought. There’s a light flickering somewhere down in the darkness. No, two lights. Two tiny lights, small enough to mean almost nothing. But when the other feelings fall into the void, it’s the lights that swallow them. And the lights grow brighter with every scrap of confusion or fear they consume.
You focus on the lights with all your strength, clenching your jaw against the agonized howl that wants to escape. It’s not much protection from the cold and pain, but it’s enough. Enough that when it fades and you open your eyes again, you can tell Tomura that it doesn’t hurt and make him believe you.
Hizashi, pleased with Tomura’s success, heads across the street to teach Dabi the same lesson. He brings you with him. Ostensibly your job is to convince Keigo to let Dabi practice on him, just like Tomura practiced on you, but you’re pretty sure Hizashi has an ulterior motive, and once you’re over Keigo’s property line, he proves you right. “Personally. I don’t give a damn whether Dabi learns this or not. You can’t go back over there until I’m sure you won’t give the game away.”
“So he didn’t know,” you say. “You lied to him.”
“So did you,” Hizashi points out. “I’m glad someone around here can see the big picture.”
You see the big picture, all right. Hizashi pretends his big picture is protecting the neighborhood, but in reality, he’s just like Tomura – except there are three people he really cares about instead of just one. He’ll do what he has to do to keep them safe, and keep himself safe in the bargain. Keigo may not have heard the story about what happens if a ghost kills their own conjurer, but Aizawa and Hizashi have, and Hizashi wants to make sure the duty of killing Garaki falls to anybody but him. If convincing Tomura to torture you and convincing you to keep quiet about it is what it takes for that to happen, Hizashi will do it.
You don’t realize you’re glaring until Hizashi comments on it. “Don’t look at me like that. You could have said no.”
“And then what? Let you push him into a fight he doesn’t know how to win?” You shake your head. A flash of the world between spins through your vision and you almost throw up. “If I tell him what you did, you’re dead. You know that, right?”
Hizashi doesn’t respond to your threat. “How about I tell you what he and I talked about, hmm? We’ll call it even there.”
You really want to know. Besides, there’s no reason you can’t break your promise to Hizashi later. “Tell me.”
“He’s more aware than you give him credit for,” Hizashi says instead. “Not that much more aware, granted, but enough. Enough to tell that the way you feel about him is a lot different than the way he feels about you.”
Your stomach clenches. “That’s not what I asked.”
“He wanted to know if discharging power into you would let you know what we’ve all known for months,” Hizashi says. “I told him of course not. Human minds can’t comprehend us, we’re too complex, all that jazz. I told him not to worry, because there’s absolutely no way that the human girl could possibly find out how much he feels about her.”
Hizashi scoffs. “He knew I was lying, of course. I asked him why he was so spooked – clearly you’re not opposed to it, or you wouldn’t spend so much time having obnoxiously horny ghost sex with him – and he gets quiet all of a sudden. He’s not very bright, your ghost, but that doesn’t mean he’s stupid. You see him as a – what do humans call it? A friend with benefits. He sees you as the only thing in his entire existence that’s ever made him happy. And he thinks that if you find that out, you’ll leave.”
For a moment, your hatred for Hizashi feels strong enough to wipe him off the map. You swallow it with an effort. “So naturally, the first thing you do is tell me the exact thing he didn’t want me to find out.”
“If he embodies himself permanently, we’re fucked,” Hizashi says flatly. “That won’t happen if you leave.”
“You’re fucked? Your conjurer’s dead after tonight. That just leaves his. We don’t even know if his is coming back.”
“You’re not that naïve. You’ve read the same research as I have,” Hizashi says. “His conjurer’s coming back one of these days. He might be planning to punish Tomura, but he’ll take the rest of us down, too. If we don’t have a ghost to stop him.”
“You think Tomura will keep protecting the neighborhood if I’m gone?”
“We don’t need him to actively protect the neighborhood. He does it just by being here and being a ghost,” Hizashi says. “How he feels about it is irrelevant.”
You fight to keep your temper in check, trying to match Hizashi’s cold calculations with your own. You replay all your interactions with Hizashi, all the times he’s scared you on purpose, all the times he’s deliberately made you uncomfortable, all the times he’s tried to provoke Tomura into acting like the kind of ghost he’s supposed to be. “You’ve wanted me gone since I moved in,” you say. “This is why, isn’t it?”
Hizashi does you the minor courtesy of not lying to you. “When you lasted longer than three weeks in that house, I saw the writing on the wall. Shou said I was being ridiculous, but I know ghosts like yours. I was a ghost like yours. All the power in the world doesn’t matter if there’s nothing you want enough to use it. And once you do, it’s over.”
He looks at you without a hint of remorse in his face. “My family is on the line here, and I’ll do anything to keep them safe. You wouldn’t understand what that means.”
Your stomach lurches. “Shut up.”
“I did some research of my own. Your backstory’s not tragic, it’s just pathetic. Mommy and Daddy didn’t love you enough, and nobody else liked you all that much, so you move in here and act like you belong.” Hizashi laughs, cold and cruel, and you feel your eyes well up. “If you think anyone here will miss you, you’re wrong. We were all happier when that house was empty.”
Some part of you knows Hizashi is lying. Most of you knows it, because if you were in his spot, you’d probably do the same thing – pinpoint the problem and do whatever you had to in order to get rid of it. Most of you knows that somewhere underneath this cruelty, Hizashi’s scared shitless. His conjurer’s gunning for him, he’s lost most of his powers, and his family’s in the line of fire. Knowing all that doesn’t change how it feels to hear him target every last one of your deepest insecurities, every agonizing thought you’ve ever tried to push aside. You’re one wrong move away from bursting into tears on Keigo’s front lawn.
You hold it together. It takes everything you have, but you do. “Did it feel good to get that off your chest?”
“It’s not personal,” Hizashi says, which puts the final nail in the question of whether ghosts are capable of lying. “I’d say good luck out there, but you survived here long enough. You won’t need it.”
Someone calls out to you from across the street, and you look over to find Aizawa on your porch. “We need some plants kept in reserve, in case the ghosts burn through more power than expected. Are there any nurseries you haven’t checked?”
“A few,” you say. Aizawa’s eyesight isn’t great. There’s no way he’ll be able to see the look on your face. “I’ll go right now.”
“We’ll Venmo you,” Hizashi says, patting your shoulder. If you thought you could get away with it, you’d break his hand. “I’ve been doing lots of gardening these days. I know plants aren’t cheap.”
“Thanks.” You force the words out around a smile, hop Keigo’s property line, and head for your car at high speed.
You make it out of the neighborhood. Quite a ways out of the neighborhood. You make it at least halfway to the next nursery on your list before you start crying too hard to drive. You pull over, put your hazard lights on, and double over with your head against the steering wheel. Your head hurts and you’re freezing cold and your stomach turns every time you think about what you saw in Tomura’s head – and worse every time Hizashi’s words sink into your chest. You’ve never felt this sick in your life. You want to die.
Your phone is ringing. You don’t care who it is, but whoever it is keeps calling, and when you pick it up to silence it, you see that it’s Aizawa. You text him, trying not to sound like you’re a) crying yourself to death and b) plotting the murder of his husband. I’m busy.
Tomura wants to talk to you. The phone rings again. This time you pick up. “Hi.”
“What did he do?” Tomura’s voice is full of cold rage, and your heart sinks. “I saw your face and I felt what he’s feeling, so I want to know what he did. That way he’ll know why I’m killing his human when I do it.”
“No,” you say. Your voice sounds awful – not calm and collected like you want to be, but sick and miserable and lonely. Like you got your feelings hurt exactly as much as Tomura thinks you did, which isn’t great when you’re trying to convince Tomura that it’s fine. “Tomura, don’t. Please. It’s not worth it.”
“He wants you to leave me. He made you leave.” Tomura sounds like he’s pacing. You try to pinpoint where he is in the house, but can’t. “I can take away his human, too.”
“Please don’t,” you say again. You just wanted to cry yourself out in peace. Why couldn’t you just do that? You grit your teeth and make a threat you never wanted to make again. “If you hurt Aizawa or the children to punish Hizashi, I am never coming back to that house.”
“He made you leave –”
“He can’t make me do anything.” Your voice wavers when you think about what Hizashi said, but you repeat yourself anyway. “If you hurt Aizawa or the children, I’m never coming home.”
It’s quiet for a moment. “Why do you care so much about them?” Tomura asks. It occurs to you that Tomura’s got Aizawa’s phone, that Aizawa’s probably sitting there listening to you try to talk Tomura out of killing him. “Why don’t you want to pay him back?”
“Because it’s not their fault,” you say. You’re pretty sure Aizawa wasn’t in on Hizashi’s little torture session, and you know for sure the kids weren’t. “They’re good people, Tomura. They’ve been kind to me, and even if they weren’t, they don’t deserve to die because Hizashi mouthed off.”
“He made you cry,” Tomura says. It’s quiet for a second. “I didn’t know you did that.”
You always cry in the shower when you cry at home. You’ve been doing that since you were little, and the memory of Hizashi’s taunt – Mommy and Daddy didn’t love you enough – blasts apart what little composure you’ve gained. You press your hand against your mouth, trying to stifle your tears. Tomura snarls, and you force yourself to speak. “Please don’t do what you’re thinking of doing. It won’t fix anything. It will make me feel worse if you do.”
“Fine.” Tomura’s voice is still icy. You wish you could drive home, drag him into the passenger seat, and drive around until he’s calmed down. You’re scared of what will happen when you hang up, and worse when you hear his voice, speaking to Aizawa. “You’re only alive because that’s what my human wants.”
“Understood.” Aizawa’s voice is steady, and when he speaks again, it’s clear that the phone’s back in his possession. “Go get the plants and come back. Everything here is fine.”
“Um –” You cough into your elbow, make some kind of godawful snuffling sound into your sleeve. “I’m sorry. About Tomura. That’s not okay. He shouldn’t –”
“You have as much control over Tomura’s behavior as I do over Hizashi’s.” Aizawa’s voice takes on a dangerous note, and for a split second you actually feel bad for Hizashi. “Get the plants and come back, quickly. The children’s bus is here, and it’ll be dark soon.”
You cough a few more times. “Right. I’ll hurry,” you say. Something occurs to you. “If he starts acting scary, get out of there. I’ll deal with it when I get back.”
“I’m past the property line. My husband and I need to have a conversation.”
Whatever conversation the two of them are about to have, you don’t want to be anywhere near it. You hang up the phone, blink a few times to clear your vision, and switch your hazard lights off before pulling back onto the road.
You do your best to calm down before you get to the nursery, but you know you look like you’ve been crying your eyes out anyway. There’s nothing you can do about that right now. You browse through the nursery, searching for plants you know are invasive, choosing the largest and healthiest ones, trying to focus on the task at hand. But Hizashi’s words hit home, as much as you didn’t want them to. Even thinking about hitting him with a shovel doesn’t make you feel much better, and the longer you dwell on it, the worse it gets, until you’re sniffling and wiping your eyes again in the middle of the tropical plants aisle.
“Are you all right?”
It’s a man’s voice. You’ve always been a little wary of men who approach crying women in public. “I’m fine,” you say blindly. “Um. Everything’s fine. I just –”
“Here.” The man, whoever he is, pushes a handkerchief into your field of vision, and you seize it, just to avoid wiping your eyes and nose on your sleeve. “You can keep that. I have plenty.”
“Thank you,” you say, and mean it. And then you feel like you’ve got to explain yourself. “I really am fine. I just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”
“That makes everything more difficult,” the man agrees. You peer up at him and discover that he’s around the same age as Mr. Yagi. The same height, too. “I doubt that’s all it is, though. Whoever made you so upset ought to feel ashamed of himself.”
You have a few problems with that statement, mainly with the assumption that you’re upset over a man, even if it’s true. But this man is being kind to you. You’re not immune to kindness. “That’s quite a lot of plants you’ve got there,” the man continues. “Are you a gardener?”
“I’ve got a garden. I don’t know if I can call myself a gardener,” you say. “What about you?”
“Oh, it’s been many years since I was settled enough to have a garden,” the man says, and laughs. “But I’ve planted many trees. It’s always interesting to check back and see what they’ve grown into. Some of them are magnificent. Others need a little – assistance.”
“I’ll remember that if I ever get into planting trees.” You wipe your eyes again, then glance down at the mess you’ve made of the handkerchief. “I really am sorry about this.”
“It’s no trouble. And it’s yours. If we should ever cross paths again, you can return it to me then.” The man inclines his head, then starts off down the aisle, heading for the saplings at the far end. You add one more plant to your wagon and make your way to the cash register.
You feel better after meeting the man. If a stranger thinks you’re worth being kind to, then it’s easier to believe in the kindness of your neighbors, who actually know you. By the time you reach the neighborhood again, the puffiness around your eyes has mostly gone down, and you feel ready to confront Hizashi. You’re not sure what you want to say when you confront him. “Fuck off” feels appropriate, but some part of you also wants to remind him that Tomura’s more than able and more than willing to return whatever insult Hizashi levels at you towards his own family. But that’s shitty. You know it’s shitty. You’ll be better off telling Hizashi the truth: This is your neighborhood, too. And you’re not leaving.
When you get back, though, you realize there’s no need to confront Hizashi at all. Aizawa’s already doing it, or something similar. They’re both on Keigo’s lawn, standing a few feet apart, voices too quiet to hear from your side of the street. Hizashi looks mulish, defensive, sulky – just like Tomura looks sometimes, when he’s accepted that you get to be mad about something but still thinks it’s stupid. If Aizawa looked at you with the same expression he’s aiming at Hizashi, you’d run for your life.
“Hey,” someone hisses as you get out of your car. You look up and find Shinsou staring at you from the other side. He looks alarmed. “What the hell happened? My dads are fighting. I’ve never seen them fight. Dabi’s been texting me updates and he says they’re fighting about you!”
Dabi’s an asshole, and also a liar. You have a feeling that Aizawa’s upset less because of what Hizashi said and more because of Tomura’s reaction to it. But Aizawa’s clearly not worried enough about Tomura’s reaction to keep his kids away from the shelter provided by the house. Shinsou came down to talk to you from the porch. Eri’s still up there, on the swing, and she’s playing a game with somebody. At first you think it’s Nemuri. Then you see Nemuri up the street, talking to Magne, and you realize that Eri’s playing a game with Tomura.
You need to check on that. You need to check on that immediately. You skid around Shinsou and book it up the steps, only to find Eri sitting in the swing and Tomura sitting on the ground, a collection of facedown cards spread out between them. You recognize the cards. In fact, you’re pretty sure this game came from inside your house. It was one of the few things you managed to rescue when your parents downsized while you were in college. “Uh, is that the Rainbow Fish matching game?”
“It’s so pretty,” Eri says, smiling up at you. “Toshi won’t play with me but Tomura said he would.”
Tomura looks sort of like he’s regretting it. “How come it’s still your turn?”
“If you make a match, you get to try again. And you keep trying until you don’t get one.” You study Eri’s pileup of cards. She’s really good at this. “So it’ll be your turn when Eri misses one.”
In talking to you, Eri lost focus. She misses her next match, and Tomura promptly racks up eight matches in a row. You cringe, wishing he’d let Eri win like adults are supposed to do with kids, but Eri’s more pleased with the result than he is. “I knew you’d be good at this,” she crows. “You got the shells and the rainbow fish –”
“That’s not hard. There are ten of them.” Tomura looks sort of pleased with himself, and you wonder at how quickly he’s calmed down. Maybe it wasn’t actually that quick – you were gone for about an hour – but his control over his temper is shaky at best. You’d have expected to find the entire house vibrating with fury, not to find him sitting quietly and playing a kid’s game with the youngest ghost in the neighborhood, who also happens to be the daughter of the ghost who pissed him off in the first place.
He looks up at you. “Are you going to watch?”
“I have to move the plants.”
“I’ll move the plants. Me and Keigo,” Shinsou says hastily. Keigo pops up next to him, looking like he’s been through a war. You don’t even want to know what it’s like inside Keigo’s house right now. “You stay here.”
Shinsou clearly doesn’t trust Tomura’s unusual calmness any more than you do. You nod in thanks and settle down next to Tomura on the porch, only to hop up again to retrieve Phantom when she whines from inside the house. You hold her in your lap so she won’t run through the cards and scatter them, scratching her ears and watching the game. Eri and Tomura are playing with equal amounts of seriousness, which looks unbelievably funny. The two of them look enough alike with their grey-tinted hair and red eyes that they could almost be siblings. Eri’s pleased whenever Tomura gets a match, and after a few rounds of being congratulated every time he finds two of the same card, Tomura congratulates her on a match in response. It’s not much of a congratulations, but Eri beams at him like he’s just handed her a gold star.
Eri wins by one match, and although you’re worried he won’t, Tomura offers her a grudging congratulations. “Nice game.”
“Do you want to play again?” Eri asks eagerly. “I bet you’ll beat me this time.”
“I’ll play with you, Eri,” Himiko calls from outside the fence. “If Tomura lets me in.”
You think Tomura will say no, but it turns out that Tomura’s so desperate to get away from the Rainbow Fish matching game that he’ll say yes to just about anything. “That game is stupid,” he mutters once you’re both inside and out of earshot. “You actually liked that?”
“When I was a kid.” You were good at memory games, and you liked how pretty the cards were. But you’ve got a bigger problem than what Tomura thinks of a card game you played as a kid. “Why are you so calm? On the phone –”
“I don’t mess with other people’s humans. I’m not like him.” Tomura’s voice takes on that icy note again. He’s glaring out the front window. You wonder if he can hear what they’re arguing about. “You said it would make you feel worse if I hurt them. And last night you said you were scared the first time because you didn’t know what I’d do when I got angry. Me getting angry makes you feel worse. So I stopped.”
“Just like that?”
“It wasn’t easy,” Tomura says, insulted. “The kid said she knows how it feels to want to hurt people who make her human sad, so I asked her what she does to not kill everyone who makes her human sad. She said she has to do something else. So we played that stupid game.”
You’ve been searching for the right word to describe the scene you just watched unfold. “It was cute.”
“I thought I was pretty.”
“You are,” you say. “But that – you playing a game with her – was cute.”
Tomura’s nose wrinkles. “What does that mean?”
“It means –” Now that you think about it, cute is hard to define. “It makes you feel nice to look at. Warm. Happy. People react to babies that way a lot. Or dogs.”
“So that’s what it was,” Tomura says. You look questioningly at him. “The thing that happened when I saw you and Phantom. Cute.”
He’s talking about the day you moved in. You didn’t even know you had something in your house, much less what it was, and you thought Tomura was just as indifferent as you were. But what he just said – that means he wasn’t. And that means this all started a lot earlier than you thought it did. Hizashi’s words drift through your head, not his insults but something worse: He sees you as the only thing in his entire existence that’s ever made him happy.
Fine. If that’s how it’s going to be, you’ll take it. This is the only place in your entire life that’s ever felt like home.
“Hey,” you say, and Tomura looks at you. “Do you have enough energy stored up to stay materialized?”
“Yeah. Why?”
He probably thinks you’re angling for a hookup, but that’s not what you want. You step forward, closing the space between the two of you, and wrap your arms around him. The two of you are close in height. Your forehead is level with his chin, so you turn your head to the side, resting it against his shoulder. The same place he rested his head all of last night, until the sun came up and you set off on your mission to buy every invasive plant within twenty miles of here.
You’re expecting Tomura to complain, and you’re ready to fire back that it’s your turn, but he keeps quiet. His arms wrap around you in return, and the two of you stand there, each of you holding tight to something that could vanish easily from your grip, as the sun sinks and the neighborhood drowns in dusk, then sunset, and finally full dark.
There's no such thing as a good night at work when you work in the world's most infamous brothel for monsters, but your night takes a turn for the worse when you find yourself serving drinks to visiting half-vampire Shigaraki Tomura. You don't mean to catch his interest, and you don't mean to start a conversation. You definitely don't mean to get him drunk. (cross-posted to Ao3)
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Life in Asylum continues, and in the endless scroll of days and nights, cleanups in empty rooms and mop-ups in private parties, it’s almost possible to forget about the half-vampire who will be back at the next full moon. Almost, but not quite. Vampires are a rare enough occurrence in Asylum that everyone’s talking about Shigaraki Tomura and his master, and since they’re going to be regulars, Overhaul provides more than a little education for the staff about the one type of inhuman next to no one has experience with.
Most of the workers don’t care, but you pay close attention. Your knowledge of vampires contains next to nothing concrete. You need to learn, if you want to hold your own during your next conversation with Shigaraki Tomura.
Vampirism is spread through a bite – true. Everyone who’s bitten becomes a vampire – false. Apparently, creating a new vampire requires intention on the part of the vampiric sire, which probably helps to keep the population down. The mechanism that causes half-vampirism is unclear, but what’s perfectly clear is that half-vampires are something unusual. They need to consume blood, just like vampires do, but unlike vampires, they also need to eat. They still have heartbeats, still need to breathe, still need to see the sun every so often. Beyond that, though, no one’s able to describe what powers a half-vampire has, or the degree of strength advantage they have over an ordinary human, or whether they can turn into a true vampire – or how they do it. The question of what Shigaraki’s capable of is one you’re not able to answer, and it bothers you. Then again, if Shigaraki had correctly guessed what you are, he’d be equally in the dark as to what you’re able to do.
Most inhuman species have some sort of biological limitations, just like humans do. Werewolves still need to eat and sleep, and while bullets will damage them, silver bullets are the true threat. Liches and demons can’t set foot on holy ground, no matter which faith has consecrated a given spot, and shapeshifters lose their forms if they get too tired. Everybody knows all about vampires and sunlight. Faeries don’t have limitations. Faeries have rules.
Faeries can’t lie. Lying has physical consequences. Faeries have given names and true names, and while the true names are the most dangerous, even knowledge of a title or nickname can grant some degree of power over them. Faeries are vulnerable to iron, but not in the same way werewolves are vulnerable to silver. A gift offered by a faery is never just a gift; either it comes in repayment for an earlier favor, or it comes with strings attached. Nothing your father’s people give is ever given freely.
And that’s where you got yourself in trouble. You did Shigaraki a favor by using your glamour on him. If that particular rule applies to you as a half-fey, you’ve bound Shigaraki to you until he can repay the debt.
All of that would be enough to deal with heading into the next full moon, and you feel like it’s possible to handle. But three nights before the vampires are set to arrive, the itching starts, and things go from manageable to impossible in the space of an hour.
The last time this happened, you took a few days off of work until it was over, but it’s occurring over a much larger area on your body – your entire left arm, shoulder to wrist, and it’s not going to peel away until it’s ready. If you try, you’ll open yourself up to infection, and if that doesn’t kill you, the way it’ll look once it’s healed will probably make you wish you were dead. You can manage not to scratch while you’re on shift, but when you’re off, you’re scratching constantly, and every last one of your coworkers has something to say about it.
“Better not do that where the boss will see,” Nemoto remarks as you’re all eating in the cramped servants’ mess. “He finds fleas disgusting.”
Nemoto knows damn well you don’t have fleas; he just doesn’t like you, because his demonic ability to force confessions doesn’t work on faeries, and that includes you. The maid you’re sitting next to recoils away from you, and across the table, Tengai rolls his eyes. “It’s not fleas,” he says. “Haven’t any of you seen a half-fey molt before?”
“It’s not molting,” you say uselessly. It would only be molting if you did it regularly.
“Of course none of you have seen it,” Chrono says. Usually he eats with Overhaul, but sometimes Overhaul can’t stand being around even his right-hand man. “Half-fey in general are rare, and her variety of half-fey is rarer still.”
Everyone looks at you. You can’t tell if they’re waiting for you to explain or thinking that they’ll figure it out if they just stare hard enough. Either way, your face turns red, and Chrono heaves a dramatic sigh. “For most of you half-breeds, it doesn’t matter which of your parents was the inhuman. It matters for faeries.”
Tabe burps. “Why?”
Why questions are usually safe to ask Chrono – asking Overhaul a why question results in either a flat, irritated look or a two-hour lecture about the minutiae of the topic. “It’s unclear,” Chrono says. “What is clear, however, is that half-fey children take after their fathers in appearance and lifespan, and their mothers in magical ability.”
“Huh?”
Chrono doesn’t have his mask on. This time you can see him roll his eyes. “Children of human fathers and faery mothers resemble humans, and have human lifespans. Despite that, they have significant magical abilities.”
“How strong are they?” Rappa asks through a full mouth. “Stronger than regular human magicians?”
Chrono shrugs. You, meanwhile, think about a conspiracy theory you read in one of Overhaul’s books – that all human magic-users are secretly matrilineal half-fey, whose mothers either abandoned them to their fathers or swapped out the child of an unknowing human couple for one of their own. If that was the case, nobody would ever know. Other than the magic, matrilineal half-fey are indistinguishable from ordinary humans. “Hang on,” Setsuno says. “If half-fey take after their fey parent in how they look, how come she looks so human?”
“She doesn’t,” Chrono says. He looks to you, and you lower your hand from your shoulder. You’ve been using the cover of the conversation to scratch to your heart’s content. “Show them.”
You give him a pleading look, which he ignores, and finally you rise from the table and back away. You’re still wearing your uniform, so you pull up the skirt on your right side, revealing your leg. The table recoils as a group, and you’re pretty sure everybody’s thinking exactly what comes out of Rappa’s mouth. “What the fuck?”
“Patrilineal half-fey inherit their father’s lifespan,” Chrono says, “and their appearance – or some of it. They appear to be completely human until they reach physical maturity, at which point they begin a partial transformation. You can see the patches where fey skin has grown in to replace human skin, creating a patchwork which renders the half-fey unable to conceal their true nature.”
It’s not just your skin. Your ears have begun to change shape, growing pointed at the tips, and the natural color of your eyes has taken on a strange iridescent overlay. You need to blink less than you used to, sometimes – other times, it’s a struggle to keep your eyes open in the light without sticky, pearlescent tears oozing from them. If your father had been one of any of half a dozen varieties of fey, you’d have seen changes with your mouth, with your hands, even with the way you breathe. But while your mother never told you anything concrete about your father, she was at least able to confirm that he didn’t have gills.
Your transformation is mainly cosmetic. That doesn’t make it any less terrible, and cosmetic is a relative term. “Due to their appearances and lack of other gifts, half-fey used to make frequent appearances in human freak shows,” Chrono continues. “Some also theorize that the reason they’re unwelcome in faery society is due to their ugliness.”
“Oh.” Your coworkers are nodding at this, like it makes sense to them. Nemoto’s looking right at you when he responds. “I get it.”
You know you’re not pretty, but that doesn’t mean you like having it hammered home. You drop the right side of your skirt back down and sit again, and spend the rest of the meal picking at your food. Your appetite’s gone, and your shoulder is still itching. Even though you’re exhausted from your shift, you’re going to have a hard time falling asleep.
You’re making a beeline back to your quarters, with the intention of trying to shower off the itch and falling asleep immediately afterwards, when Chrono catches up to you. “Aren’t you going to thank me?”
“Thank you?” Backtalking to your boss is a terrible idea, but you can’t hold onto your skepticism. “For what?”
“I explained your situation, so you wouldn’t have to.” Chrono looks pleased with himself. “I did you a favor.”
“You could have done that without calling me ugly.”
“Should I have lied? It’s not as if you’re unaware,” Chrono says. He reaches out, hooks the neckline of your uniform with one finger, and pulls it aside. “How much skin are you going to lose this time?”
“Everything on my arm,” you say. Chrono looks surprised, and you seize the opportunity to shy away from his hand. “Goodnight, boss.”
“Your arm,” Chrono muses. “That’ll be a sight to see.”
Yes, it will. The juxtaposition of smooth, perfect, oil-slick shimmering faery skin with plain human skin on the same body is enough to make anyone’s skin crawl, yours included. You turn away from Chrono, and you’re almost out of earshot, almost to safety, when you hear him speak again. “You’ll have to show me when it’s done.”
That’s not the first comment like that you’ve heard from Chrono in the past year or two. They’re becoming increasingly frequent, and you know what they mean, just like you know you don’t want anything to do with them. You mumble another goodnight and duck into the female servants’ quarters, shedding your clothes and slipping a faint glamour over yourself as you step into the shower. You’re pretty sure there aren’t scrying mirrors in here, but at the same time, you’re pretty sure that if any guests wanted to pay to watch the maids shower, Overhaul would find a way to make it happen.
The hot water helps dull the itch, for now. You dry off and change into your sleeping clothes, noting every spot on your body where your heritage has surfaced. Your right leg is covered, thigh to calf, wide sashes and ribbons of fey skin interrupting your skin, jagged and gaudy. Your torso is covered, too, but you were smarter with that – when it was time, you peeled your dying skin away in a single piece rather than clawing it to ribbons. There’s some on your lower back that you never tried to peel away at all, and as a result, the fey skin is pitted and scarred. It looks hideous. You look hideous.
You know it’s true, but at the same time, you know you’re lucky. You’ve seen photos of half-fey whose fey skin broke through on their faces, unmistakable and impossible to hide. At least you’ve got a prayer of hiding this. Or you will, once you’ve peeled this next sheet of skin away to reveal what’s beneath. You crawl into bed and close your eyes, hoping that the itching will wake you in the middle of the night, so severe that you’ll have no choice but to peel the skin off right then and there. The waiting is the worst part. You just want it to be over before the full moon.
But it isn’t over before the full moon. It’s the biggest piece of skin you’ve lost – the last big piece you’ll lose, if only half your skin changes – and it’s clinging on for dear life. You beg Overhaul to help you, to employ the magic he uses to reshape the workers’ bodies when they’re injured, but he refuses. “The reaction between your meager magic and mine is too unpredictable,” he says. “I can’t help you.”
“Then let me have the night off,” you plead. He shakes his head. “Please. I won’t be any use if the skin breaks through.”
“You have my full permission to take your break to remove it,” Overhaul says, and you bite back tears. You were barely functional after you excised the skin on your torso. There’s no way you’ll be able to work with your left arm freshly peeled. “Not only is it a full moon, it’s also the autumnal equinox. We’ll need your glamours if any of the half-dozen rituals scheduled to take place here get out of hand.”
The equinoxes are the only nights where ordinary humans are allowed into Asylum, and they’re barely ordinary – they’re cultists, devoted to the worship of specific demons, conducting rituals that would get them thrown in prison in the human world. “And even if that were not the case,” Overhaul says, “there is a certain half-vampire scheduled to arrive with his master, and I doubt anyone else will be able to get him drunk.”
You were already stressed about running into Shigaraki Tomura again, but the idea of seeing him tonight sends you into a near-panic. “Sir –”
“That’s enough,” Overhaul says, and you fall silent in a hurry. “The moon is about to rise in Kiribati, and you aren’t in uniform. Get changed.”
You won’t win this. You know you won’t. You leave Overhaul’s study, hoping that the skin on your arm will hold out for another twenty-four hours – and hoping that Shigaraki Tomura’s master decided to leave him at home.
The autumnal equinox is fairly quiet as far as equinoxes go, but it’s not often that it occurs on a full moon, and from the moment the moon comes up over an even slightly populated area, Asylum devolves into barely-controlled chaos. The casualty count for workers exceeds an average full moon within the first three hours, and for the first time in a while, Overhaul comes out of his study to help repair the bodies rather than expecting them to be brought to him. Chrono equips the workers with alarm sigils, which will trigger a warning if their heart rates drop below a certain threshold. It’s an unusual precaution, but you know better than to think it’s out of any concern for the workers’ health – more that if too many of them die, Asylum won’t be able to serve all the guests who are flooding through the door.
You’re doing some of everything – a little cleaning, a little mopping up, a little belting a demon in the face with a mop when they won’t let go of the badly injured worker you’re trying to take back to Overhaul. You’re busy enough that you can almost forget about the itching, about the faery skin that’s trying to erupt through your skin on your left arm. For the first seven hours of the night, you run yourself ragged, doing whatever Overhaul’s ordered you to do, racing from floor to floor and trying to spot trouble before it begins. You’ve lived in Asylum your entire life. There’s nobody who knows their way around better than you do.
At hour eight, Overhaul summons you to the makeshift infirmary. When you get there, you spot a pile of discarded gloves on his right, a bubbling cauldron on his left, and a newly healed worker sprawled out in front of him. “Get out,” Overhaul orders the worker, and she scrambles upright, falls, and crawls unsteadily towards the exit. The instant she’s gone, Overhaul plunges his hands into whatever’s boiling inside the cauldron.
You don’t want to know what’s in there, and based on the grimace on Overhaul’s face, you don’t even want to go near him. But he summoned you. You step forward. “Sir?”
“The first ritual is about to begin. You’ll be supervising it.”
Your stomach drops. “I can’t,” you say. Overhaul mutters a curse under his breath. “I can’t! I don’t have magic –”
“You think throwing more magic at an out-of-control ritual will solve the problem? Playing stupid won’t get you out of it.” Overhaul lifts his hands from the cauldron and you startle at the sight of them. His fingers have been eaten down nearly to the bone, and in spite of the fact that he’s repairing them before your eyes, you can’t help but feel nauseous. “There are supply kits in my study, with the measures necessary to contain a ritual. All that’s required of you is to deploy them. Go.”
“Sir –”
“I don’t have time for this,” Overhaul snaps at you, and you flinch. You’ve never seen him this stressed before. “Chrono is needed elsewhere. None of the others but you possess a sensitivity to magic, and no one other than me is able to perform the repairs. Succeed at this and you’ll be rewarded appropriately. I don’t need to tell you what will happen if you fail.”
You know exactly what will happen if you fail. You nod mutely. “The supply kits can be found in the furthest cupboard. Hold out your hand,” Overhaul says. When you do, he traces a rune into your right palm. “Use this to unlock them. Go.”
You have more questions – like how to figure out which countermeasure to use first, or how to tell when they’re needed in the first place – but Rappa’s coming through the door carrying another worker, and Overhaul’s attention shifts from you. He’s not going to change his mind, and there’s no one else who can do the job. There’s nothing for you to do but head for Overhaul’s study. Being expected to supervise a ritual is bad enough. Being late to it is probably worse.
The cultists are making final preparations for their ritual in the smallest of Asylum’s three gardens. You’re not sure which cult this is, but they brought their own sacrifice, bound hand and foot in spite of the fact that they’re unconscious. You try not to look too hard at them. You don’t look too hard at the cultists, either. You pry open the supply kit and study the items within. Now that you’re looking at it, they seem pretty straightforward. Salt and consecrated chalk, for sealing the paths leading to the garden off from the rest of Asylum. A set of wardstones to keep anyone from entering once the ritual begins. A sheet of runes to trace in midair, as an extra precaution. None of it requires more than the tiniest amount of magic. Maybe this is doable.
You confirm that all the cultists are in the garden, then get to work, starting with the salt and chalk across each path leading into the garden. Next it’s the wardstones. The cultists are using a pentagram in their rituals, which means you need a hexagram to contain them properly. Wardstones are simple enough to set. You set them spinning with a twist of your fingers and leave them to hover. A few more of these, then a few sigils, and then you’re all set. You can do this.
A single footfall and a shadow falling across yours are the only warnings you get before a familiar voice rings out from behind you. “If you don’t want people to think you’re a witch, you shouldn’t spend so much time casting spells,” Shigaraki Tomura says, and you nearly jump out of your skin. “Did you miss me?”
It takes an effort not to throw the wardstone at him. “I’m not a witch. And this isn’t a spell.”
“It looks like a spell,” Shigaraki says. He looks way too pleased with himself for reasons beyond your understanding. “That’s two spells I’ve seen you do. Your boss is a warlock, so I don’t get why you’d lie about being a witch.”
You were dreading meeting Shigaraki again, in part because you were sure he’d guessed that you were half-fey. Apparently not. “That wasn’t a spell, and neither is this,” you say. “I’ll show you.”
“Huh?”
You motion for him to come forward, and he does, looking way too suspicious. What does he think you’re going to do? You’re not the one who drinks blood. “Hold this,” you say, and push the wardstone into his hand. “Now, do this –”
You show him the proper gesture to activate it, and he tries it – and drops it, just like you did the first time you tried it. Before you can tell him to try again, he picks it up and looks at you. “Show me again.”
You show him the gesture, and this time he copies it much more closely. The wardstone spins out of his hand and hovers in midair, the last piece of the hexagram you’ve been constructing falling into place. Shigaraki looks surprised, then pleased with himself again. You’re less annoyed with it this time, mostly because it’s given you a chance to prove your point. “You can do it, and you have even less magic than I do. It’s not a spell.”
“This one isn’t a spell,” Shigaraki agrees. He’s mimicking the gesture again, even better on the third try. “The other one was.”
A glamour’s not a spell. If it was a spell, it could be replicated by anyone else, but your glamour is an extension of your nature as a half-fey. You won’t be able to convince Shigaraki otherwise without outing yourself, so you keep quiet, and you set back off around the garden, headed for where you left the supply kit. Shigaraki follows you. “I went to the bar. You weren’t there,” he says. “Are you avoiding me or something?”
“I don’t work in the lounge most of the time. That night I was just filling in.” You’re conscious, suddenly, of the fact that you’re in the maid uniform – and that the maid uniform doesn’t come with even the most useless of masks. “To be honest, I didn’t know you were here.”
Shigaraki makes an affronted sound, but you’ve reached the supply kit, and you have runesigns to trace. In the garden, the cultists are moving into position to begin their ritual. You hold the sheet in one hand and begin to trace the sigils in midair. “What do you do most of the time, then?” Shigaraki asks. “If you’re not down there.”
“I clean.” You make the mistake of gesturing at your uniform, and Shigaraki takes the invitation to look you up and down. “And whatever else Overhaul needs me to do.”
“Like this. What is this?”
“There are cult rituals happening tonight. Overhaul and Chrono are both busy, so they asked me to keep an eye on this one.”
“Huh.” Shigaraki looks away from you, into the garden. “My master had a cult for a while.”
You really don’t know what to think of that, except that if it had been relevant, it would have been the first thing Overhaul and Chrono told the staff about. “How old is your master?”
“Old,” Shigaraki says, which tells you absolutely nothing. “What about your boss?”
“Also old.”
Shigaraki snorts. “What about you?” You clam up instantly, and he rolls his eyes. “Come on. Either your name, what you are, or how old you are. Give me at least one.”
Out of those three pieces of information, your age is the one that won’t get you in trouble. That doesn’t mean you won’t make him work for it. “You first.”
“Come on,” Shigaraki complains. You wait, watching as the cultists pick up their unconscious sacrifice and lay him out on the altar they built out of bones they brought from home. “Not that it matters or anything, but I’m twenty-three. Your turn.”
“Twenty-three,” you repeat. You can’t tell if you’re surprised by his age or not, but the fact that he’s still counting it means he’s still mortal. Your age stopped mattering two years ago, but you’ve kept count anyway. “Me, too.”
“Was that so hard?” Shigaraki grins, just a little too widely. The only thing that keeps you from calling it a leer is an instinct that it’s not born out of triumph at getting one over on you. A moment later, you’re proven right. “I knew it.”
Why does it matter to him that you’re the same age? A low hum begins to vibrate through the air, and the sigil hovering just in front of you wavers. The ritual’s beginning, and you need to focus. Unfortunately for you, Shigaraki’s still here. You need to shake him off. “I’m surprised you’re not with your master. Aren’t you here to feed?”
“He’s here to feed. I’m here to learn,” Shigaraki says. Learn what? “This looks more interesting than whatever else is going on around here.”
The hum in the air intensifies. Beneath the sleeve of your uniform, you feel your skin beginning to crawl. “If you’re going to stay, keep quiet. I need to concentrate.”
“Right. Witches need to concentrate when they’re doing magic.”
You’ve decided not to respond to any more witch jokes. The cultists are chanting in one of the demonic languages, drawing in close to surround the altar and obscure the sacrifice. Now that you think about it, you’re not sure what kind of sacrifice this is, and regardless of whether it’s symbolic or literal, you don’t want to watch it. You especially don’t want to watch it with Shigaraki – Shigaraki, who’s standing next to you, head tilted to one side, scratching idly at his neck. Seeing him scratch makes you want to scratch. You peer down into the supply kit instead, wondering which of the objects inside you’re supposed to use first if things get out of hand.
“Is there food here?”
Out of all the things Shigaraki might have said, you weren’t expecting that. “Huh?”
“Food,” Shigaraki says again. “Is there food here?”
It feels like round two of the WiFi conversation, except this time, you’re able to give him the answer he’s hoping for. “Yes. Why?”
“After this. We should get some.”
“Um –”
“You get breaks, right? Even witches have to eat.” Shigaraki’s scratching harder than before, and he’s not looking at you. “I’m hungry.”
He is really skinny, but he’s also a half-vampire. You know half-vampires still need blood, and you focus on that question instead of the other, worse one. “Not thirsty?”
“I have money. I can pay for it,” Shigaraki says, ignoring you. “And you helped me out the last time I was here.”
“I’m the one who got you drunk.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I don’t owe –”
“Stop talking.” You’ve interrupted him, but it’s not enough – he’s already opening his mouth again, and you slap your hand down over it before he can get another word out. “I mean it.”
Shigaraki’s red eyes are wide. You can’t tell if it’s with affront or with shock. His lips move against the palm of your hand, dry and rough, and a weird jolt travels through you, raising the hairs on your arms and the back of your neck. It’s drowned out a second later by a vibration through the air that makes you stagger. The sigil in front of you dissolves, unable to stand in the face of another wave emanating from the site of the ritual.
The wave abates, for a moment, and you think you’re safe – but the next thing you know, you and Shigaraki are both staggering as the vibration travels through the ground in addition to the air. You don’t need anybody to tell you that the ritual’s gotten out of hand, and you dive into the supply kit, searching desperately for something that can counteract a demonic curse. Something whips past you from the opposite direction, slicing your cheek. You don’t look up. You’re busy.
Shigaraki catches Overhaul’s message and pries it open, reads it aloud. “Your boss wants you to play a song. How are you supposed to play a song when phones don’t work in here?”
“Tell me you don’t really think that music only comes out of phones.” You pull a music box out of the bottom of the supply kit, dust it off, and open it. No music comes out – you must have to turn the handle. “Be quiet.”
Music begins to emanate from the box after two turns of the handle – a thin, quiet voice, singing what sounds like a lullaby in a language you don’t speak. You doubt the cultists speak it, either. But it doesn’t matter what the words are, or even that the singer is at least a little tone-deaf. All that matters is the glamour that drips from every note, stronger and heavier than anything you’ve ever called up. It’s a faery’s voice, and it’s already affecting Shigaraki. He sways sideways, falls hard against a column, the curse he mumbles more slurred than his voice was when he was drunk. The glamour is almost overpowering. If you weren’t half-fey, you’d fall prey to it yourself.
It’s strong enough to stagger Shigaraki and disorient you, but it’s not having much of an effect on the ritual itself. The vibrations are still traveling through the air, and worse, you can feel them in the ground beneath your feet. You keep turning the handle of the music box with no change in the strength of the demonic curse emanating from the center of the garden. Why isn’t it working?
The answer occurs to you just as Shigaraki speaks up. “It’s too quiet,” he mumbles. “Witch. Make it louder.”
You can’t. The despair barely has time to settle in before the answer occurs to you. You can’t make the voice from the music box louder, but you can make sure it’s not the only fey voice in the garden. You clear your throat, coat your voice in your glamour, and begin to sing.
It’s nothing – some song you liked when you could walk freely in the human world, the first thing that comes to mind. You make an effort to match the key the music box is singing in, and you project both your voice and your glamour, doing your best to build on what the faint fey voice is already providing. You think it might be working. You’re not sure.
What you do know is that Shigaraki’s figured you out. You can see him out of the corner of your eye, still slumped against the column, staring unabashedly at you as you turn the handle of the music box and sing. You’re able to console yourself with the thought that your uniform hides your patchwork fey skin before you realize what a stupid thing that is to think about – right now, or ever. Your throat is starting to hurt, your vocal cords straining under the weight of the glamour. You aren’t sure how much longer you can keep this up.
The vibrations from the ritual begin to fade just as your voice begins to crack, and it gives you the willpower to hold on a little longer, the notes you sing growing increasingly fractured and hoarse. By the time your voice gives out completely, the demonic energy’s faded to the point where the music box is enough to counter it. Your ears are ringing, so much that you almost miss Chrono’s footsteps as he approaches. He notes Shigaraki, then looks to you. “You should have called for help.”
“From who?” Your voice sounds awful. You cough. “I took care of it.”
“If that demonic energy had gotten into the flux field, it could have destabilized the entire dimension,” Chrono snaps. “Someone as weak as you has no business trying to contain –”
“If she can’t contain it, you shouldn’t have sent her to watch it.” Shigaraki levers himself upright. “Something was off about that ritual. Isn’t it your job to catch things like that? Or are you really okay with a bunch of human cultists sacrificing half-demons in your pocket dimension?”
“Half-demon?” Chrono swears. “They wouldn’t dare.”
“I can smell its blood.” Shigaraki shrugs. “She saved your ass. Give her a bonus or something.”
Chrono handles being told what to do by people other than Overhaul about as well as Rappa handles being told what to do by anybody. His shoulders stiffen, and his hand closes around your upper arm, venting a sharp jolt of magic into you rather than loosing it at Shigaraki. At least, that’s what you think he’s doing. Then the skin on your right arm, itchy and crawling since three days ago, erupts with an itch so sharp and acidic that it almost feels like a burn.
Your arm is on fire. You’ve felt this before, and you know instantly that you can’t leave it a second longer. “I need my break,” you say to Chrono, your voice strained.
He lets you go with a sharp nod. You turn and all but run from the garden, already clawing off your apron.
No time to get back to the servants’ quarters, but Asylum is full of places to hide if you know where to look. And you know where to look. With a master rune like the one you carry, you can open up passageways and closets that even the savviest of guests don’t know exist, and you’ve used them more times than you’d like to admit. You reach the nearest of the passageways and raise the rune to tap against the wall, only for the agonizing itch in your left arm to flare to new heights. Your body contorts in discomfort, and your right hand falls back to your side – and then, so fast that you barely register it, someone slips the rune from around your wrist.
It's Shigaraki, and he’s got enough of a height advantage over you that he can hold the rune out of reach just by extending his arm. You don’t have time for this. You really don’t have time for this. You can feel the fey skin beginning to eat through yours from below. “Give it back!”
“So that was why you wouldn’t let me say I owed you. You’re a faery, not a witch.” Shigaraki’s grinning like he’s figured something out, even though the clue you gave him was a thousand times more obvious than the clue you got a month ago. “Why didn’t you want me to owe you one? My master is powerful. You could have asked me for anything.”
“I don’t want anything from you.”
“Except this.” Shigaraki studies the rune. You reach for it again and he holds out his other hand to forestall you. “You want this, and I want a straight answer. The ritual’s done. Do you want to go get food with me or not?”
The small part of you that’s not panicking, caught in the desperate need to get the rune back, to get away, notices how he’s phrased the question. He knows that faeries can’t lie, and for some bizarre reason, he’s decided to corner you on a question so mundane that you wonder if you’re hallucinating it. Why would he waste a question he thinks you’ll have to answer on something this stupid?
It doesn’t matter, because half-fey can lie as much as they want, and because you’re done playing around. You glamour your left arm, faking a clumsy feint, and when Shigaraki shifts away from it, you snatch the rune from his hand with your right. He’s between you and the wall, so you turn away, pressing the rune against the opposite wall and opening up the passageway there. You dive through it, the relief at being out of the hallway marred only by the fact that Shigaraki followed you in.
The passageway you were aiming for originally had space. This one is a close fit for one person, tight for two, but you’re out of time to be picky. You can’t get your arm out of your dress without unbuttoning it partway. “What are you doing?” Shigaraki asks, clearly startled, as you undo the buttons one-handed and draw your arm from your sleeve. “Are you transforming?”
Even the slightest motion of your arm sets off a wave of pins and needles, and you grit your teeth as you work it free. Bared from wrist to shoulder, your arm looks awful, mottled, bulging in odd places, almost writhing in others – like the fey skin really is trying to claw its way to freedom from the inside out. Seeing what it looks like only hardens your resolve. You dig your fingers into your shoulder, trying to pry up a piece of skin. If you get a good enough grip on the first one, you can peel off the rest in one sheet.
But you can’t get a grip. Your hand is shaking too much, or your nails are too short, or something. You remember too late that the only other time you peeled the skin back, you made the first incision with a pocketknife. Overhaul doesn’t let the staff carry weapons. You don’t have anything on you that’s sharp enough to cut through your skin, and if you can’t – there’s no way you’ll be able to scratch all your skin away before the fey skin eats through. It’ll be agonizing. It’ll take forever. And Shigaraki will be watching you the entire time.
Shigaraki. You turn to him, desperate and hating yourself for it. You know that guests are searched for weapons when they arrive, but maybe – “Do you have anything sharp?”
“Like a knife?” Shigaraki shakes his head. Then his expression shifts, and he raises one hand to his mouth, pressing the pad of his thumb against one of his incisors. You see blood well up where the tooth breaks his skin. “My teeth aren’t as sharp as my master’s –”
If they can draw blood, they’re sharp enough. You beckon him forward. “Please.”
Part of you is expecting him to bargain. Any inhuman would, if they had one of the Fair Folk at their mercy – they’d never get better terms for any deal they wished to make. But Shigaraki steps forward, closing the slight distance between you without asking what you’ll give him in exchange. His hands are dry, his palms rough like before, as they close around your wrist and raise your hand towards his mouth. “Here?”
His breath is hot against your wrist. You shake your head. “My shoulder.”
Some part of you is terrified at the thought of letting a vampire this close to your throat, screaming in terror at the thought of those teeth meeting your skin. Shigaraki edges even closer to you, as close together as you were when you were dragging him drunk down the hall. His mouth brushes against your shoulder, and you freeze in place. What is he waiting for? You don’t need him to peel the skin off for you. You just need him to –
At least one of Shigaraki’s incisors punctures your skin, and you flinch, hiss – less at the pain, and more at the fact that he’s touching you, one hand on your waist and the other around your wrist, keeping your left arm extended and keeping the rest of you close. But you’ve got what you needed from him. You dig your fingers into the breach, get a good grip, and pull.
It hurts when you peel your human skin away from the faery skin that’s grown beneath, but the human skin is already dead. As it breaks contact with your body, it goes ashen, then transparent. There’s next to no blood. The faery skin glistens, slick with serous fluid, as it’s bared to the air for the first time. You mess up a little bit at the end, peeling away a piece of healthy human skin on the back of your hand by accident. It feels like a hangnail, and your entire arm stings. The pain would be worth complaining about if you didn’t know exactly how bad it was before.
Shigaraki’s still way too close to you. You try to sidle away, and he lets go of your waist, but not your arm. He’s peering intently at it, almost fixated. You brace yourself for the kind of comments you’ve heard every time someone’s seen what you really look like. “Wow,” Shigaraki says. “It looks even cooler than I thought.”
You’re not sure you heard him right. “Cool?”
“Don’t fish for compliments. I’m getting to it,” Shigaraki says. He hasn’t looked up from your arm yet. “I thought it would look cool, and I was right. Do you have more of it?”
You’re feeling weirdly lightheaded. You nod, and you can tell Shigaraki’s grinning just by the sound of his voice. “How much more?” he asks. “Can I see?”
That question snaps you out of whatever fog you’ve been floating in. “No,” you say, and pull away from him completely. “You weren’t even supposed to see this.”
“But you’d have been in trouble if I wasn’t here.” Shigaraki’s eyes follow you closely, not just focused on your arm this time. You can feel his gaze roving over you. If you had to guess, you’d say he’s trying to figure out where else you’re hiding fey skin. “I helped.”
He helped you, after you helped him. “We’re even, then,” you say. “Is that why you did it?”
Shigaraki’s not even subtle in how he ducks the question, and before you can press him for an answer, you hear someone or something knocking against the wall outside – a sharp, uneven rattle that startles you both. You start wrestling your arm back into your sleeve. The serous fluid will glue the fabric to the fey skin and removing it will be painful later, but you don’t have a choice. You need to get out there, and you need to beg whoever’s knocking not to tell Overhaul that they found you in the world’s smallest secret passageway with Shigaraki Tomura and your dress unbuttoned.
The knocking intensifies. You miss a button at the collar of your dress and Shigaraki’s hands knock yours aside, undoing it and buttoning it properly again. Is he trying to get you in his debt officially? You decide that’s a problem for later and open the wall again. There’s no one there but one of Overhaul’s paper cranes, battering itself to death against the wall. You grab it clumsily out of the air. Overhaul’s message is blunt and to-the-point – he wants you to assist Chrono in containing the next ritual, which starts in half an hour. Shigaraki is peering over your shoulder. “I can’t read it.”
“That’s because it’s not for you. They can only be read by the person they’re intended for,” you say. Half an hour. That’s not much time. “Look, I have to –”
Another paper crane zips past you, headed for Shigaraki. He whips his head to one side to avoid it, but he read the trajectory wrong. The wing slices into the dry skin on the side of his neck and he swears, clapping his hand over the now-bleeding paper cut. You capture the crane instead and hand it to him. His expression, already annoyed, deepens into frustration and discomfort as he reads. “What does it say?” you ask.
“What does yours say?”
“Mine says I have half an hour before I’m supposed to help with the next ritual,” you say. “What about yours?”
“My master wants me to feed while I’m here.” Shigaraki scowls. “I don’t want to feed. I’m hungry.”
He’s hungry, and he helped you, and he’s a guest – but it’s not any of those things that decides your course of action. It’s something else, something you’d go mute rather than admit to out loud. “I’ve got half an hour,” you say. There’s almost certainly something else you’re supposed to be doing with that half an hour. Overhaul can be angry with you later. “We can go get something to eat.”
Shigaraki looks surprised. “Really?”
“Sure.” You can’t figure out where that surprise is coming from. He’s been bothering you about it since before the ritual went sideways. Was he not expecting you to say yes? “And we should cover that cut on your neck.”
Shigaraki pulls his hand away from it, grimacing. “It’s not that bad. I get worse all the time.”
From scratching? “It’s still not a good idea to walk around bleeding in here. Let’s go.”
You steer clear of the infirmary and make your way instead to one of the supply caches, using your master rune to open it, and then to open an alcove where you can patch up Shigaraki’s injury in peace. Shigaraki complains as you try to clean the wound. “Why does he fold those things so sharp, anyway?”
“So people will snap to it faster,” you explain. “Most of us would rather drop what we’re doing and do what he wants than risk getting a papercut like that.”
“Your boss is an asshole.” Shigaraki tilts his head to the side at your request, then freezes. “What are you doing?”
“I just moved your hair. It was in the way.” You don’t care that he’s uncomfortable. After what happened tonight, after how much of you he saw, you feel like he deserves it. You get a fingertip full of some salve from the supply caches and start daubing it onto the cut, to the tune of a sharp hiss. “Sorry. I’m trying to be gentle.”
Shigaraki doesn’t respond to that. It’s quiet as you fish through the supply kit for a bandage, a quiet that feels awkward but not necessarily tense. Shigaraki doesn’t speak again until after you’ve placed the bandage. “Can you use one of your spells on it? Whatever you did last time,” he says. “If my master finds out –”
“It’s a glamour, not a spell,” you say. “No problem.”
A phantom itch travels along your left arm as you set the glamour, fading before you can scratch it in earnest. You store the supply kit, open another passageway that will lead directly to the kitchens, and start off, counting on Shigaraki to follow you. The awkwardness follows, too, and just like before, Shigaraki speaks first. “I get it now. Why you wouldn’t tell me what you were.”
You find yourself tucking your left arm close to your body, shielding it. Shigaraki keeps talking. “You helped me just now. I owe you a favor again. Ask.”
Earlier tonight, you’d have asked him to leave you alone. Now – “We’re even. Don’t worry about it.”
“You can’t do that,” Shigaraki says. “I know how this works. You can’t just cancel a debt because you don’t want anything from the person who owes it.”
“I’m only half-fey. I don’t know which of the rules applies to me,” you say. “You’re off the hook.”
“What if I don’t want to be off the hook?”
You can’t imagine why he’d want to be on the hook. The Fair Folk are notorious for driving cruel and twisted bargains. Whether it’s due to their morality, which doesn’t map onto human morals particularly well, or due to a desire to hurt others, everyone who’s ever found themselves in debt to a faery has been keen to get out of it as quickly as possible. Why on earth would Shigaraki want to carry around a possible debt to you?
You don’t want to ask that question. You stay quiet. “I guess I’ll have to stick around, then,” Shigaraki muses. “See about paying you back.”
You glance at him and find him smirking, or grinning. You can’t tell which. Your glamour is shimmering at the side of his neck, obvious to you but subtle enough to escape his master’s notice, and his lips, which would have cracked at a smile this wide even an hour ago, look smoother than before. You have a bad feeling about why that is – and at the same time, you aren’t as worried about it as you were before. Now that he knows what you are, interacting with him is significantly less stressful than before. It’s not something you’ll look forward to. But it’s not something you’ll dread.
“I guess you have to,” you say, and his smile brightens. Even that’s not enough to dredge up the ambivalence you felt before. “Let’s get some food.”
YES WANT THE FIC GIVE ME-..pleeaase
I'm writing it. Because I CAN
Before I start, I am writing these headcanons as someone who has been diagnosed with Bipolar Type 1 for almost three years now. I frankly could not care less if people don't think he has Bipolar Disorder, I'm writing this for my comfort and that of others who either have Bipolar disorder or just resonate with the idea that Tomura does.
and I'm also very aware of Bipolar Disorder being stigmatized as something that affects "bad" people. I'm not trying to suggest this, but that Tomura is someone who is neglected of treatment.
Warning: Bipolar disorder as title suggests (Tomura's symptoms relate to type 1 more), talks of depression, mania, psychosis, suicidality, etc, angst?
Tomura has never been given a formal diagnosis and likely has no clue that he has bipolar disorder himself. He doesn't know much about it, either, other then the stereotype that people with general mood swings are "so bipolar."
The doctor knows, AFO does too, but for them, they see it as more ammo for their arsenal to make sure Tomura's life is nothing but agony. He's never been treated with medications or therapy. Nothing.
Because he isn't medicated, his episodes are pretty strong. His manic episodes sort of blend in with his everyday behavior to a lot of people.
It's during this time that he finds himself planning out grand operations against the heroes. Some of his ideas seem unrealistic and not well thought out. They're more just ideas thrown around, and he jumps to gather people and means to carry out his goal before actually having a calculated plan.
He's up all night doing this. But if he's not, he's likely gaming. He huddles up in his room with multiple cans of energy drinks (as if he didn't already have way too much energy).
(semi-canon) will text his comrades at godforsaken hours either asking, demanding, or just rambling about stuff. If he gets an answer, the recipient often finds themself confused because Tomura just talks and talks and talks, and when he's in the heat of some plan or project he doesn't really stop to compose his sentences or even take a damn breath.
He impulsively buys things, like copious amounts of in-game purchases. Or DoorDash. If he's feeling reeeaaal bold he'll go for a whole-ass gaming console if he can, even if his current one is perfectly fine. Or assembling as many thugs as he can and feeling generous enough to overpay them when they definitely don't need the amount of money he's giving them.
You can see how when AFO was arrested, his lifestyle shifted in this regard.
Tomura is already an irritable guy, and so his mania can make it worse. He gets very overstimulated with all of his sensations that little things, like accidentally stubbing his toe, can make him mad as fuck for a good thirty minutes.
He also gets very paranoid about others. When he talks to people, he's already convinced that they are tricking him somehow and he'll read every cue he can to confirm it, even if the proof isn't even there.
Even when he's out in public and by himself, he thinks everyone is mocking, judging, and looking at him. That also comes with being the most wanted villain around, but that's beside the point.
When something finally goes his way, he is HAPPY. Sometimes the League will catch Tomura smiling his face off for no apparent reason (odd for him), and will ask what's up, only for Tomura to CACKLE back with, "ehehAHAH NOTHING!! THAT's just IT!"
They look at each other like, but just let him go about his day. They'll later hear him giggling to himself in his room, and sometimes talking to himself. He'll deny and just tell them he was on chat (his devices are not open and he is standing in the middle of his room).
Because he's not medicated, his mania can trickle into psychotic symptoms. Especially if he's going through more stress than typical. He hears voices that tell him mean things. Sometimes they're the voices of his dead family.
And because he doesn't sleep much, he sees detailed shadows and things moving that aren't. It disturbs him, but he accepts it and tries to just push on. But sometimes if he hears voices more than he'd like, he gets sad and has to grip his head and whisper "shut up shut up shut up" to negate them.
He's delusional, too. AFO's grooming and constant monitoring of his whole life have definitely emphasized his distrust of everything around him. Sometimes he'll think that the people he's gaming with online are secret hero spies trying to get him to reveal himself. He also has a fear that someone is watching him in every location, and he'll think that even the silliest things are cameras or microphones, or that those around him are also spies. Later on, it becomes paranoia that his master is everywhere.
Then comes the doom of depression
For Tomura, he's technically always depressed. But when he goes into a depressive episode, he's pretty lifeless.
He's complacent about his goals. Sometimes he'll get a tiny idea that makes his brain go !, but then he thinks of all the planning behind it and immediately slouches down on any nearby furniture
He'll lay in bed for a long period of time doing nothing. Sometimes he'll try to play a game on his phone but he gets bored quick.
Tends to eat more during this time because it's the only joy he can get. And he gets bored. He is SO BORED
Anhedonia is a bitch
His brain dwells and rambles, yet his thoughts don't make sense to him? He's constantly thinking about how fucked up his life is, how better other villains are, and how much he hates All Might and heroes altogether. He tells himself that if it wasn't for all of that he wouldn't feel this way (relating to the depressive episode).
It overwhelms him and he tries to sleep it off, but he's somehow so depressed that he's UNCOMFORTABLE. His itching gets bad.
He is very suicidal during this time and hurts himself to try and subside it. If you asked him his reason for living, he'd tell you "to see this world crumble." But he's too busy crumbling in his bed.
Psychotic symptoms can occur during his depression, too. Especially if he hasn't slept.
His lack of medication usually causes him to swap back to mania somewhat soon (2 months or so). He definitely has rapid cycles.
Because his condition isn't managed, his brain is sort of in an in-an-out stance when it comes to his literal sanity. He has moments where he can definitely be level-headed (he gets rrly confident when he notices it) but when his anger and stress fuel him more than usual, he spirals and quite literally sees red. Sometimes he can't even tell if he's dreaming or not. Often mistakes the date and day of the week.
:(
I might write a fic of the reader comforting bipolar tomura. I don't think I've ever seen a fic like that for any character.
Narinder asking the lamb for flowers but when he bring them proceding to refuse them because he didn't really expected him to find them(and risk his life while doing so) and because he think it make him "weak" but he secretly love the fact that he did even if he act all angry like a tsundere
I've been doing so many shitposts and doodle comics, I don't remember the last time I painted something for real lmao
anyway Leshy be upon you
Okay okay, this time its less canon but imagine the lamb opening the bar and narinder take a drink but then is posess(idk how to spell it preperly i'm french sorry). The lamb do his best to find him in dongeon and when he finaly find him punish him from drinking whitch of course frustrate Narinder but hey, he couldn't just let his favorite ex god be posses again and have to kill him !
You knew the empty house in a quiet neighborhood was too good to be true, but you were so desperate to get out of your tiny apartment that you didn't care, and now you find yourself sharing space with something inhuman and immensely powerful. As you struggle to coexist with a ghost whose intentions you're unsure of, you find yourself drawn unwillingly into the upside world of spirits and conjurers, and becoming part of a neighborhood whose existence depends on your house staying exactly as it is, forever. But ghosts can change, just like people can. And as your feelings and your ghost's become more complex and intertwined, everything else begins to crumble. (cross-posted to Ao3)
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19
Chapter 20
“Sorry about the clothes,” Spinner says as the two of you walk down the front steps of the hospital. “Himiko picked them out.”
“It’s fine,” you say. As long as you have clothes that aren’t bloodstained and torn to pieces, you don’t care what you look like. You’re just glad to be headed home.
Nobody exited the near-apocalyptic conjurer fight in good shape, but some of you were worse off than the others. Nemuri was almost blasted apart trying to defeat the giant, and although she survived it, collecting the shreds of her essence back together is apparently a slow process. Keigo took a pretty sizeable hit protecting the kids, while Aizawa had to deal with a beastlike Nomu chewing the hell out of his leg before Hizashi blew its head off. But you and Tomura were by far the worse off. You’ve been in the hospital for two days. Tomura will be in for another three at least.
Most ghosts are healthy when they permanently embody themselves, but apparently it’s different for ghosts who use their own conjurers to do it. Tomura is starvation-level thin, with severe contact allergies to almost every type of medical equipment in the hospital, and the injuries he got from the fight and the rescue from the world between were bad enough to land him in the ICU at least temporarily. They had to put him in an induced coma, too. He’s had meltdowns or panic attacks or some kind of fit every time he’s woken up.
“He’ll bounce back quickly,” Mr. Yagi assured you when he came to visit. “I did.”
That was how you learned that Mr. Yagi embodied himself from his conjurer, too – except she gave him permission to do it, when she realized she was going to die of cancer anyway. Mr. Yagi’s permanent embodiment involves chronic issues with his lungs and his stomach, all of which you’re familiar with after working as his assistant for years. Chronic, but manageable. Sometimes over the past two days, it’s seemed like Tomura’s allergic to the entire human world.
Spinner told you that permanent embodiment creates complications, but you didn’t realize just how severe those complications would be. There’s no legal record of Tomura’s existence. He doesn’t have ID or health records or health insurance. There’s no next of kin who’s empowered to make decisions for him while he’s under heavy sedation, dead to the world. Hizashi’s working overtime to forge some kind of documentation for him. The doctors have been hinting that they won’t release him without it. Legally, you don’t have any right to be involved in or updated on Tomura’s medical condition, but he managed to identify you as somebody important before he went under, which means you get a little more information than you would have gotten otherwise. The doctors have been referring to you as his girlfriend. Apparently he called you his human.
Tomura might not have a next of kin, you do, and the doctors called your parents when you were too doped up on painkillers to stop them. You managed to talk them down from coming to visit, mostly by lying and then promising that they can come visit you soon. The last thing you need is for them to come here right now. Things are too chaotic. It’s hard to think that anything normal will ever happen again.
Like today. Jin and Spinner are picking you up from the hospital and driving you home to a house that, for the first time since it was built, doesn’t have a ghost in it.
When you and Spinner make it down the steps, Jin’s idling the van near the curb with Atsuhiro snoozing in the back row. Jin bursts out laughing at the sight of you, ignoring Spinner hissing at him to shut up. “No wonder Himiko wouldn’t let me see what she picked! Ready to get out of here?”
“Yes.” That’s not quite true, though. The sharp pain in your chest as the hospital vanishes around a curve in the highway tells you that you’d rather have stayed until Tomura could come with you.
You’ve been there, the few times they’ve tried waking him up. He’s promptly freaked out each time, and while your presence settles him a bit, the fact that he’s now in a human body, experiencing the world as a human does, is way more than you can calm him down from. Luckily for you and Tomura, the embodied ghosts stepped in to help. Since last night, there’s been one of them stationed in his room at all times, ready to corral him, ready to explain, so nothing else in his hospital room goes up in dust. Tomura lost a lot of his ghostly powers, but he’s still got more than enough left to raise hell.
You don’t want to leave him there. You want to stay there until he wakes up for good, and not leave until you can bring him home. But your health insurance won’t pay for more than the two nights you already spent in the hospital, and you have a bad feeling about who’s going to be on the hook for Tomura’s hospital bill. You have to go home. You’ll be back to visit tomorrow after work, but tonight you have to go home.
“How did he look?” Spinner asks Jin. Spinner came to get you, while Jin brought Magne for her shift in Tomura’s room. “You saw him, right?”
“He looks like hell.”
“He looks like he’s looked the entire time,” Atsuhiro says sleepily from the back row. Then, to you: “They mentioned removing the feeding tube in two days. His body is burning calories rapidly, and if he doesn’t have enough in reserve, he’ll have a heart attack when he starts moving around.”
“Great,” you mumble. “Did he wake up at all?”
“Not perceptibly to the staff,” Atsuhiro says. Ghost stuff. Again. “I was able to tell him that you were being released today.”
You sort of wish Atsuhiro hadn’t done that. Tomura’s going to think you’re leaving him, and based on the conversation you had the day before things went to hell, he didn’t want to embody himself for anything less than a sure thing. You’re a sure thing. About as sure as it gets, given that you were ready to get sucked into the world between along with him rather than let him go. But he’s not going to know that until the two of you talk. And you can’t talk to him while he’s got a feeding tube down his throat.
When you left the neighborhood three nights ago, you left it in the back of an ambulance, so you didn’t get a good look at everything that happened. Now it’s daylight, and what you see isn’t pretty. A weird fog still hovers over everything. Almost every plant on the block is dead, courtesy of being flash-frozen a dozen times over, and the pavement and asphalt on your end of the street is pitted and ruptured and cracked, courtesy of the giant. Nobody’s house escaped getting knocked around a bit, but you know yours took the largest amount of damage – window smashed, porch roof caved in, fence down, yard chewed to bits – so when you get out of the car and make your way closer for a look, you’re expecting the worst.
What you’re not expecting to see is a new fence, in the process of being painted greyish blue. You’re not expecting to see Himiko and a girl you vaguely remember meeting at her birthday party painting it. And you’re definitely not expecting Izuku to pop out of absolutely nowhere, hands smeared with dirt. “Hey, you’re back! Are you okay?”
He waits long enough for you to confirm you’re not about to keel over, then pivots. “Tell me everything that happened.”
“We already told you what happened,” Spinner says. “Don’t bug her.”
“You did tell me! It was great,” Izuku says. He refocuses on you. “But you spent the most time with the conjurer, didn’t you? And you got away from him! How did you do it?”
It occurs to you, sort of suddenly, that you haven’t told anybody exactly what happened. Everybody’s clear on the important details – kidnapped by conjurer, tortured by conjurer with the intent of Nomufication, escaped, rescued by what Jin inexplicably decided to call the Vanguard Action Squad. Nobody’s asked you more until you right now. And you should probably tell somebody, just to get it on the record. “Um, it was –”
“Izuku! Leave her be,” Inko scolds, stepping out onto your front porch. You should have guessed that at least one of Izuku’s parents would be present, but you’re still surprised to see her. “I’m sorry to startle you. We were hoping to be gone by the time you got back so you’d have a quiet house.”
A quiet house. A house without Tomura in it. “It’s okay. Um – why are you here?”
“We’re helping patch things up,” Izuku says. “I’m filling in the footprints in the yard – Toga says there was a huge Nomu here – like, building-sized –”
“Bigger,” Himiko says. She looks over at the other girl, who looks worried. “I didn’t fight that one. I did lots of other fighting.”
“And Toga and Uraraka are fixing the fence,” Izuku continues. You forgot that Himiko picked out a different last name than Jin’s when she embodied herself. You’re not sure why. “Mom was keeping an eye on the guys who came to fix the window and the roof and Dad and Kacchan are in the backyard clearing out your dead plants! There are a lot of them. Sorry.”
“Why are you sorry? You didn’t do it.” You step through the gate, barely avoiding putting your hand in wet paint. “The fence looks really nice, Himiko. You guys didn’t have to do this.”
“The old fence matched Tomura’s new hair. We had to fix it,” Himiko explains. “Now it matches his old hair.”
“He has new hair?” Uraraka asks.
“Yeah, it’s white now. He looks like an anime villain,” Spinner says, and Himiko giggles. “I didn’t know your fence was supposed to match your hair.”
“It’s not. That’s why we’re fixing it.”
“Thank you,” you say to Himiko and her friend. “And – thanks, Izuku. I’ll tell you about all the stuff later.”
He beams at you, then goes back to filling in a massive hole in your yard. You thank Spinner and Jin for the ride home, and Atsuhiro for sitting with Tomura, then make your way into your house. The last time you were here, you could barely walk. You were oozing blood everywhere and you were in agony, but you remember seeing Tomura on the porch and stumbling into his arms and feeling for just a moment like everything would be okay. Everything is okay. But just like Aizawa said of you being turned into a Nomu, this came at a cost – and you weren’t the one to pay.
There are a few bloodstains on the front porch steps. You collect some varnish from your hall closet and come back out to paint them over.
“My dear.” Mr. Yagi’s feet appear in your field of vision and you look up at him. He looks miserable, his mouth trembling. “I’m so sorry.”
You shake your head. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“You were taken from the parking lot. I knew the conjurer could be near. I knew you were in danger. And instead of ensuring your safety I allowed you to –”
“You weren’t responsible for my safety. I was,” you say. You’re pretty sure nothing could have stopped the conjurer. If he hadn’t grabbed you from the parking lot before work, he would have grabbed you when you went outside on your lunch break or when you headed home. “The bracelets you gave me helped me get away from him. I wouldn’t have escaped without them.”
Mr. Yagi looks surprised. “Is that so?”
“When he noticed them, he broke one. It released all this energy and threw him across the room. That’s how I got out. And me and the ghost who helped me escape used the other one to blow up the building we were in.”
“My master must have known he would break them,” Mr. Yagi says. He smiles slightly, sadly. “She was a master tactician. And speaking of her – I suppose it’s no longer relevant, but I brought over the notes Izuku and I took from her journals, if you’d still like to read them.”
“I’d like to.” You’ll need something to do tonight, when you’re here all alone for the first time. “Thank you.”
The two of you sit together on the steps until the varnish dries and the smell of food begins to drift out of the kitchen. You go to investigate and find that Inko’s turned your kitchen into some kind of industrial cooking facility. “This is for tonight,” she says, gesturing to a pot simmering on your stove. “I’ve made things for the next four days also. The list on the counter is a list of common food sensitivities, in case Tomura picked up anything during his embodiment. And if you have any questions about anything, please call me.”
You feel a lump growing in your throat, making it hard to swallow. “I wouldn’t want to bother you.”
“You wouldn’t,” Inko says. She smiles at you. “I would have liked someone to talk to, when it was me.”
You nod a few times, manage to thank her. Then you excuse yourself to the bathroom, so she won’t see you struggling not to cry.
You’re not sure why you’re so miserable, why it’s so hard for you to hold it together as everyone heads home for the evening. The only thing that helps even slightly is when Phantom comes home, brought over by Shinsou and Hizashi, who’ve been keeping an eye on her for you. She’s so happy to see you that she leaps a full three feet off the ground and knocks you over, which hurts. You hug her close even though you can tell she’s dying to zoom ecstatically around the house and look up at Shinsou and Hizashi from the floor. “Thanks for looking out for her. I owe you.”
“That’s the closest I’m gonna get to getting a dog until I move out. It’s great,” Shinsou says. Aizawa and Eri are committed cat people, but Shinsou’s said multiple times that he likes both. “So you got out of the hospital. Are you, like – good?”
“Great,” you say. It’s a good thing you and Shinsou aren’t ghosts, because if you were, you wouldn’t have a prayer of getting away with the lie. “It’s nice to be home.”
Hizashi nods impatiently as you pick yourself up off the ground and Phantom goes tearing off to inspect the house, Shinsou in hot pursuit. He has a folder tucked under one arm, and he holds it out to you. “Here. ID and birth certificate for him. I’m working on the rest.”
The ID is right on top, complete with a photo. “How’d you get a photo of him?”
“Took it in the hospital. Fixing the background and photoshopping his eyes open was a bitch.” Hizashi looks pretty proud of himself anyway. “I made him the same age as you. He looks it at least. The birthday is an approximation of his summoning date. I couldn’t use his embodiment date. I didn’t want the doctors asking too many questions about how he had the worst birthday ever.”
“Thanks.” You inspect everything a little closer, then nearly drop the folder in shock. “Shigaraki Tomura? You gave him his conjurer’s last name?”
“I couldn’t think of anything else,” Hizashi says. “It flows pretty nicely, right?”
You guess it does, except for the part where you’re going to think of the conjurer every time you use Tomura’s new full name. “Thank you,” you say again, uselessly. “I don’t know what I’d do if you hadn’t helped.”
Hizashi looks as uncomfortable being thanked by you as you are doing the thanking. “Don’t worry about it. His shit’s a lot easier to forge than the Nomus’.”
Shinsou and Hizashi stick around for a little longer, checking out the repairs and marveling at all the food Inko cooked, then head home. You shut and lock the door behind them, and all at once you’re home alone. Just you and Phantom, like you thought it would be when you bought this place. Phantom is wandering from room to room, greeting you when she passes by but very much looking for something. Looking for Tomura.
“He’ll be home soon,” you promise her. She knows who you’re talking about. She whines. “I miss him, too.”
You feel aimless, and you feel sick. You should probably eat something. You fill a bowl from the pot Inko left on the stove and settle in on the couch to pick at it, staring at nothing if you’re not looking into the bowl itself. It tastes good, but you’ve got no desire to eat it. You eat it anyway. If you’re going to be miserable no matter what, you might as well do it on a full stomach.
Part of you thinks it’s normal to feel wrecked after everything that’s happened. You were kidnapped and tortured. You watched your ghost die in front of you nineteen times. You almost got force-fed a ghost and almost turned into a Nomu and almost watched your house be destroyed and almost killed somebody and almost lost your ghost to the world between. Only a crazy person wouldn’t be upset. But at the same time, it’s a whole lot of almost. It could have been so much worse. It almost was. What is there for you to be upset about?
Your phone rings and you pick it up just for somebody to talk to. It’s your mom. “When I called the hospital they said you’d been discharged today. Why didn’t you call?”
“It’s been a lot. I just got home.” It’s probably not good that your default is to lie to her. “Everything’s fine.”
“Everything isn’t,” your mom says severely. “I raised you. I know you. Even over the phone, I know that tone in your voice.”
“How do you know me, Mom? We barely talk. We barely talked even when I was a kid.” You shouldn’t say this. Now’s not the right time to say this, but you’ve started, and you can’t stop yourself. “Everything’s not fine, and I don’t want to talk about it. Not with you. Not with anybody! The only person I want to talk to about it is Tomura, and he’s –”
In the hospital, in an induced coma, with a feeding tube down his throat that they won’t remove for two more days. Your own throat closes up, and your mom is silent on her end of the line. You brace yourself for her to blow up at you, to talk about how you never let her in, how the distance between the two of you is your fault. Instead: “You must be really worried about Tomura,” she says. “How is he doing?”
“He’s – they think he’ll be out in three days,” you say haltingly. “It’s – it’s worse for him than it was for me. I was healthier to start with. But they said he’ll be home in three days.”
“Are you going to visit him tomorrow?”
“I want to,” you say. “I have to go back to work, too. My boss said he’d give me as much time as I need, but I need to save it for when Tomura’s home.”
“When he’s home,” your mother repeats. “You live together?”
Oops. “Yeah. For a while now.”
“So it’s serious.”
“As serious as it gets,” you say. For a moment you’re overwhelmed by the memory of clinging to his hand as the world between dragged him in, refusing to let go even if it meant you’d be pulled in, too. “I’m – this is it for me, Mom. He’s it. I’m not leaving him.”
“I would never ask you to leave him,” your mom says, surprised. You shouldn’t have said that, should have known that the weight behind it wouldn’t make sense to her. “I’m looking forward to meeting him, once the two of you have recovered from all of this. You still haven’t told me what happened.”
You haven’t told anyone. “It’s hard to explain,” you say. Your phone begins to beep again, signaling an incoming call, and your stomach lurches when you see Magne’s caller ID. “I’m getting a call from the hospital. I have to go. Sorry –”
“Go,” your mom says immediately. “I’ll call back later. I love you.”
You manage to mumble that you love her too, then end the call and accept Magne’s. “What’s happening? Is he okay?”
You hear Magne speaking to someone else, but you can’t hear what she’s saying, and then her voice is there again, right in your ear. “Tomura’s awake,” she says. “They’re trying to sedate him again, but he’s a little upset. You can imagine.”
You can imagine. “Can I talk to him?”
“That’s why I called you, honey.” Magne puts you on speaker, and you hear her voice from a distance. “You’re right by his ear. Go ahead.”
“Tomura,” you say, and you hear a strangled sound. “It’s okay. Everything’s okay. Nobody there wants to hurt you. They’re just trying to help.”
You imagine him arguing that it hurts anyway. Probably also that it’s not helping, and he still feels like hell. “The sooner you get through this, the sooner you can come home,” you tell him. “That’s where I am right now. Me and Phantom are waiting for you. We’ll be here when you get back. Three days, right?”
“Right,” a doctor confirms from somewhere in the offing. “The wounds are healing well. The nutritional deficiencies are the main concern now.”
“You’ll be home soon,” you promise. “I’ll come visit you tomorrow.”
He’d be protesting if he could talk. Probably saying that he’ll be asleep tomorrow if he lets them sedate him again. “I’ll be there,” you say. “You’re fun to hang out with even when you’re asleep.”
You wonder if he’ll hear what you’re calling back to – all those months ago, when you were trying to keep him out of your bedroom at night. “I love you. I’ll be there tomorrow. Tomura –”
“He’s out,” Magne tells you. She laughs quietly. “We all knew you had him wrapped around your finger, but it’s really something to see in action.”
You close your eyes. “Thanks for sitting with him. It would be harder if you weren’t.”
Magne says something about how it’s not a problem, even though it is, and you thank her again and hang up the phone. You wish you were there with Tomura in the hospital. Even if you can’t talk to him, you can hold his hand. You could get used to the warmth of his skin and the new rhythm of his pulse and the sight of his white hair, before he comes home to you for good. You finish your soup and lift Phantom into your lap. She was with you at the start of all this, before all of this. She’s the only thing right now that feels like home. She lets you hug her and licks your face a few times, and for some stupid reason, that’s when you start to cry.
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The First Taste
Tomura has his first sexual encounter. Poor touch starved baby doesn’t last long, at all. Will reader be forgiving and encouraging and let him try again, is he to embarressed, will he end up lasting or does he release to early again.
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WARNING SMUT 18+ ONLY THERE IS SEX HERE
FLUFF ANGST SOFT SHIGGY
SHIGARAKI X FEMALE READER
WORDS–4615 (This came out twice as long as it was suppose to be😥😳 sorry)
Shigaraki was not good with feelings or how to express them. He also was not good with people and regular everyday interactions. His emotions, which were mainly anger and annoyance, just kinda exploded out of him. He hated pretty much everything and everyone, he just wanted to destroy the society that failed him.
Then you came along. With your beautiful eyes, bright smile and that body of yours. These feelings were new to him. His heart beat faster, his face would heat up, pulse quickened.
Obviously he knew he was attracted to you, well that was an understatement, he had become obsessed. You were always on his mind, your image permanently imprinted in his brain. He found himself constantly thinking about what your lips tasted like. What it would be like to have his arms around your waist, to snuggle his face into the crook of your neck. To have you underneath him as he had his way with you.
Contrary to population belief he knew what sex was, he wasn’t stupid.
He was indeed a regular guy, a very horny one at that. He masturbated on the regular, well more than regular, his mind was on sex a lot. He watched porn daily, this is the only sex education he had, but he had resigned himself to being alone.
The need for physical contact was getting to him a lot lately. He craved it. Wanted it. The thought of your hands on him, around him. He couldn’t even remember what it felt like to be touched.
He longed to caress your soft flawless skin. To feel your fingertips travel across his chest, your arms encircling his waist as you rest your head against him. To lay down next to you and feel your warmth. He would get lost in his fantasies of you. Imagining you cuddling up to him, calling him babe or some other cute nickname as he trailed kisses across your neck. Whispering dirty words in your ear, a promise of all the naughty things to come.
The problem was he didn’t know how to go about it.
Walking back to the hideout Tomura’s mind wandered,picturing what life with you would be like. To come home and have you waiting for him, greeting him with a hug and kiss. He was tired of being lonely, he longed for companionship and love. Each passing day the desire for you grew. His craving for you was consuming him.
Occasionally he would try to start a conversation, but he just was not good at it, and sadly you really didn’t seem interested in him. He was so very awkward, and since you appeared in his life he had become very self conscious about it, hell about everything. Thinking about you stirred up so many emotions, he was not used to caring about someone, little lone wanting them.
As he walked into the hideout he noticed it was empty except for you, sitting alone on the couch, reading some book. His heart beating in his chest like a drum. He was alone with you. Should he try, what if you rejected him, told him to fuck off, called him a creep.
He really didn’t even know how to begin to flirt, but he had to give it a try, he had to know if he had a chance in hell with you. So he decided this was it, this was his chance, so he took a spot next to you, right next to you actually, even though there were plenty of places to sit. Hell he didn’t even sit at the other end of the couch. He literally sat right next to you, his leg rubbing against yours as he nervously bounced it up and down.
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FROM THE INSIDE w shigaraki
post date voyeurism
n_fw. 2114wc. dead dove do not eat. obsession/voyeurism (noncon: reader is unaware), masturbation, porn, spy cameras, murder mentioned. background phrogging/stalking. yn is slightly aware of something being off but hasn’t accepted what yet.
It’s late when he hears your car pull into the driveway, snarling when he glances at his phone and realizes it’s after midnight. Too fucking late.
He slips upstairs, quiet as he listens to the front door open and close before you drop your keys in the dish with the sweetest of giggles. It’s only then that he realizes you’re on the phone, his stomach turning at the thought of one of those annoying little men from your office being on the other end of the line.
You looked extra pretty when you’d left for work this morning, making time to do your makeup and style your hair. You’d even opted for clothes fresh out of your closet instead of the trousers you’d worn to work a few times before and the blouse you both favored.
“Yeah,” he hears you say. “I’m inside. The door is locked. Safe and sound, Kaminari.”
Kaminari Denki. Tomura just barely bites back a scowl as he recognizes the name as one of the sound engineers in the office.
“I had fun, too. I’d love to do it again... Feeding my cat, actually. I haven’t seen him yet but I know he’s hungy….Hahaha. Yeah, of course I’m going to blame you. Mmmm…me too. Ok…Good night.”
He listens, catching sight of you when you pass him on your way to the bathroom. Your hair is a little mused, skin dewy from the long day, and he has to stop himself from reacting because you aren’t quite his. Not yet, at least. But fuck if he doesn’t hate Kaminari for being the one to look you all night.
It doesn’t take long for you to go through your normal routine, heading back down stairs to have a glass of water and take your pills after your shower. He lingers in the bathroom, breathing in the soft, sweet scent of your soap and retracing the heart doodled in the steam on your mirror before he hears you coming back up for bed.
He wonders, just for a moment, what you would do if you knew that he waits up to you. Would you be embarrassed for being with a man when he’s quite literally right here, or would you be surprised to know he’d even taken interest? It works for him either way.
Once he’s sure you’re in bed, he makes his way over to your room, lingering to the side of the doorway.
“Hello?”
He presses his shoulder into your wall, perfectly silent as he waits.
“Mushu? Is that you, baby?”
The cat meows, rubbing against his legs before making his way into your room. “Ah, hello, bb. I wondered where you were. Did you have your dinner? Bleh- ok Mr Tuna Breath, you had it.”
The cat begins to talk to you, meowing whole stories, and Tomura resists the urge to groan in exasperation as he waits a few minutes for Mushu to make his way back out of your room. He considers calling the night, but you don’t let him down.
Your phone unlocks a moment later, loud and obnoxious, and he takes the opportunity to peek in, his eyes zeroing in on your screen to see what you’re into tonight. A smile tugs at his lips when he recognizes the app, his cock already hard in his sweats as he eases his hand into the waistband.
There’s no sound- a blessing and a curse, because it forces him to keep quiet but lets him hear you so perfectly- and it only takes a few seconds to hear you sigh, a soft moan following before he hears you say, “God, that’s so hot…”
Tomura squints, just barely making out what he’s sure is someone getting fisted, and feels his breath catch. His cock goes painful as his eyes shift to you in the dark, throbbing as he smears precum down his length. He licks his lips as he makes you out, watching at your failed attempt to prop your phone up before you abandon the idea in favor of shoving both hands under your covers.
“Haa, fuck,” you breathe, the sound short circuiting his mind.
He wants to touch you. To smell and taste, too, but he settles for what he gets for now, his free hand cupping his balls and squeezing until he can’t take it, choking silently.
“Yes, yes, yes,” he hears you whimper. “Harder, please- haa, fuck-”
He’d kill to know what fantasy is playing out in your mind. To give it to you. Harder, faster- he fucks into his fist, hoping he matches your pace as he measures your breathy whimpers and senseless pleading- he’d give you anything if it meant he could feel your cunt straining around his thick cock. His fist. Even to fuck you senseless with a toy (he’s seen you do it to yourself and still hasn’t gotten the sound of your teary, soaked sobs out of his head- it’s a miracle he hasn’t snapped, if he’s honest with himself).
But he’s patient. If with nothing else, he’s patient with and for you. He bides his time until it’s perfect. Because he wants to give that to you. Needs to, even. At least for a little while, before he ruins you for anyone else just so he can have you to himself.
His eyes finally make you out clear in the dark and he watches, starved for you, as your fuck yourself with your fingers under the cover of your blankets, crying for relief he wants so badly to give you until your jerking unsteadily, cumming hard and fast just before he does.
The slightest of whimpers escape him and he moves quickly as you react slowly. He realizes that he’d eased deeper into your room as he just barely slips out in time. Biting his tongue, he presses himself against the wall before you can make him out in the darkness, his cum hot on his fingers as he waits.
“I-is anyone there? Mushu???”
No. He holds his breath, praying your limbs are too heavy after cumming to get out of bed and is rewarded by the soft sound of you sighing and your bedding rustling as you get comfortable.
Tomura exhales, hand still working over his sensitive cock as the memory of your voice plays in his head. His eyes fall closed, picturing his cock disappearing into the heat of your pussy, your smile as you fuck yourself against him, hair falling into his face as you lean in and take a kiss. As his head falls back against the wall, he brings a hand up to his throat, imagining the way your pretty eyes should go glassy as he squeezes. He imagines that you tremble and jerk in his hold, your body coming hard -harder, better than you do for yourself, because unlike you, he wouldn’t stop- before collapsing into him for comfort.
It’s an amusing thought, because no one in their right mind should look for comfort in him. It isn’t even the last thing he wants people to feel because of him. But you- you’ve always inspired a new part of him. One that he’s wanted to ruin and nurture from the moment you moved in. Since the moment he moved in.
He cums hard, his vision blurry as he chokes back moans and groans of pleasure in favor of a few strained, silent gasps for breath. Fuck…fucking-
His phone vibrates and he shoves his clean into his pocket to grab it before he flips it open, annoyance underlining his silence. It spikes at the sound of Dabi’s laugh, but he strokes the sensitive head of his spent cock in an attempt to hold on just a little longer too you’re shared orgasm as a rough voice comes through the speaker: “I’m outside.”
He listens for a moment, comforted by the familiar sounds of you breathing in your sleep. “Ok,” he licks his hand clean as he retreats to his room for a moment. “2 minutes.”
Tomura makes his way back down the hall, slipping into the alcove you never bother with and climbing the old steps with practiced ease. He shuts your attic door silently, crossing the shared space and exiting into the alcove that leads to his house. But, he doesn’t bother shutting his door as he descends his steps, your sweet sounds still ringing in his ears.
His phone vibrates and he checks the message before changing into jeans: stop jacking off and come the fuck on
He rolls his eyes, pockets his phone, and takes a quick look at your cameras to see that you’ve kicked the bedding away as you lay back, nearly starfished on your bed. Your head tilts, looking at your phone, and he reaches out to slip his headphones on just in time to be rewarded by the sound of you sighing as you reach for it again.
“God,” he hears you murmur once you’ve found another video. “So good…”
This one has sound, and he listens for a moment, watching as you stare wide-eyed at your phone. He wishes he could see what it is you’re watching. But, as it stands, all he can make out as the slick, squishy sounds of what he’s almost certain is the cum lube that cam-girls love so much as someone gets fucked.
The moans aren’t fake, which he knows you appreciate as much as he does, but for as much as wonderful as some girl fucking herself stupid sounds, she isn’t you. And he finds himself annoyed as he leans closer to the screen as though it’ll help him hear you.
It works- marginally. Made better by the fact that the screen illuminates your face, making it easy for him to see your little expressions as your hand slips back into your shorts.
He just barely resists the urge to fist his cock, groaning as his phone begins to vibrate again. You whimper, leaving him rock hard in his jeans as he checks to make sure he’s recording.
“Fuck, please,” he hears you beg as he reaches to tug off his headphones. “Want it too fucking bad…”
“Wait,” he grins, watching a few seconds longer as he sets them back down. Your hips fuck into your hand and he tears his eyes away, knowing he’d stay until your done if he doesn’t.
He slips out of his house silently, glancing back at your house to see Mushu sitting in the window, orange eyes watching him. Just a little longer.
“Took you long enough,” Dabi quips when he gets into the car. “We’re going to miss the fucking raid.”
“Chill,” Tomura sighs, relaxing into the passenger seat. “We’re gonna be right on time, idiot.”
“What took you so long, anyway? Get stuck?”
“No.” He doesn’t elaborate, knowing his friend takes a little too much joy out of the situation. “Would it be acceptable to kill the guy she’s dating?”
Dabi laughs, shaking his head as he lights a Seven Star. Tomura wrinkles his nose, rolling down the window as he angles himself away from the smoke. Your nose is too sensitive for him to smell like anything but you, and the heady tobacco-menthol scent is sure to distract you even after he’s taken another god-forsaken shower.
“Why are you asking me? We both already know you’ve made up your mind.”
He hasn’t, which is why he’s asking. But the last thing he wants is for Dabi to think he values his opinion on anything.
“Maybe leave him a warning instead,” Dabi offers a few minutes later, stubbing out his cigarette. “That’s more fun.”
“Too much work.”
“Lemme help you.”
He cuts his eyes over to Dabi to see the remnants of a smile on his lips, blue eyes flashing over to the passenger seat once he feels Tomura’s gaze on him.
“Com’on, bro. It’ll be fun. I’ll take care of it.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why, huh? You’re my dearest friend” -Tomura scoffs and Dabi snickers because he knows he’s full of shit- “I love that you’re in love. And knowing you aren’t going to die a virgin has me rock fucking hard.”
“Fuck off.”
“Wanna feel?”
“Fine.”
“Oh shit-” Dabi switches hands on the wheel and catches Tomura’s wrist. “My lucky day, hmm?”
He snatches his arm away, shoving Dabi a second later.
“See,” Dabi continues to laugh. “This is your problem. You’re hot and fucking cold.”
“Fine to taking care of it,” Tomura hisses, pressing himself against the door in annoyance over Dabi’s antics. Especially considering the fact that he’s still half fucking hard over the thought of you getting off into you pass out. “Fucking weirdo.”
a part of a larger idea that’ll probably never get completed but god if if doesn’t keep me up at night
Who would win in a fight over you - Dabi or Tomura? And who would be better in bed?
Ooh! Ooh this is an interesting one!
Alright, so if Shigaraki and Dabi both catch feelings for you, you might as well put the High Noon soundtrack on repeat around the hideout because things are about to get a lot more hostile ‘round these parts. Much to everyone’s ire, they’re not exactly shy about this either. Those two don’t get along well on the best of days, so when they’re competing for something they both crave, things are going to get messy.
But let’s start off slow, shall we?
Afficher davantage
18+, minor don't interact with the 18+ contentTomura shigaraki's biggest simpArtist, writter
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