RESTORATION AND 18TH CENTURY LIT. - COLLEGE AU!TOMURA X READER

Haunting for Beginners (Chapter 2) - a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic

Ghosts summoned and bound to the human world have one purpose - haunting - but Tomura's never met a human he could stand long enough to haunt them, and he's pretty sure he never will. When you cross the threshold of his house, you capture his interest, and for the first time, he finds himself with a chance to do what ghosts are meant to do. It's too bad he doesn't know how. Scenes from Love Like Ghosts, as seen through the eyes of the ghost in question. (cross-posted to Ao3)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

It doesn’t take Tomura long to figure out the problem with wanting things: Getting the thing he wants doesn’t make the wanting go away. It works for a little while. Sometimes even long enough to make Tomura think it’s gone for good. But it always comes back, and when it does, it feels just as itchy and awful as before. Worse, maybe, because now Tomura knows what it feels like to have the thing he wants.

He wants you to talk to him, and you do talk to him. At first he doesn’t care what you’re saying. He just – likes – the sound of your voice, and he likes that it’s just for him, that if he wasn’t there you’d be quiet except for talking to the dog. The dog’s name is Phantom. Tomura’s decided that he doesn’t mind sharing your attention with Phantom. Phantom was here first, and it pays attention to Tomura, too – and it can’t talk back. Tomura could. Can. Maybe.

At first he doesn’t care what you’re saying, but soon enough, he starts to. He has to, because sometimes you’re upset about things, and if you’re too upset about things, you might leave. Once he starts paying attention to when you’re upset, he starts to see differences in it. There’s sad-upset, when your voice is quiet and your movements are slow and even Phantom jumping up in your lap doesn’t make you smile. There’s angry-upset, when you’re still quiet, but you’re restless and pacing, every piece of you tense. And then there’s frustrated-upset, when something small has gone wrong, or when there’s something you don’t understand or can’t fix.

Tomura sees frustrated-upset more and more as the days go by. And the realization creeps up on him slowly, the same way everything did when time didn’t matter, that the thing you’re frustrated with is him.

He’s mad that you’re frustrated with him at first. He’s not doing anything except helping you – helping you with the coyote, helping you get rid of the humans who came over when you didn’t invite them, helping you get rid of one of the ghosts and its weird human when they invite themselves over, too. What right do you have to get mad at him? Tomura spends a solid week and a half sulking before he realizes why you’re frustrated with him, at which point he discovers a new feeling. He doesn’t know what to call it, but it’s spiky instead of itchy, and it feels urgent, like he has to do something about it right now. You’re mad at him because he’s shown himself to other people, talked to other people, but not to you. That means you want to see him. Tomura has to figure out how to make it happen.

The spiky feeling is terrible. It won’t let him have a second of peace. It’s always there, poking holes in his essence, prodding him to look for a way to make you see him. Ghosts in movies never let people see them all the way, but the ghosts in the neighborhood must have shown themselves to their humans at some point, or else they wouldn’t have them. How did they do it?

Tomura gets an answer, sort of, when you drop a bag of flour and he steps into the plume of white dust that rises up. If he has enough life-force to make himself even slightly substantial, things like dust or smoke or flour will settle around his form and show the rest of him. You’ve figured it out, too. Tomura was already pretty sure you wanted to see him, but the number of times you turn and spray water at him to reveal him only proves it. You’re weirdly accurate about it, too. You always seem to know where Tomura is, and that makes Tomura feel – something.

He watches you all the time, learning about you. You might not be able to watch him, but you’re learning things about him, too.

Tomura doesn’t want you to learn things about him. You might get it wrong. The only way to make sure you don’t is to find a way to talk to you, and Tomura doesn’t know how to give himself a voice. All he can do is give himself hands. He could write something with his hands. Where? There are pens and paper all over your house, but when Tomura tries writing, his hands are clumsy and useless, smearing letters across the page and covering his hands in ink. Then he has to hide the evidence before you get home. Phantom helps out. When Tomura sweeps the papers off the table in a fit of frustration, it eats them.

Tomura could write with a pen, maybe, if he practiced more. But he’s too impatient for that. You’re frustrated with him. Frustrated means you could leave. He needs a solution now. He spends days thinking about it, then weeks, only for the answer to come to him at the absolute last minute – when you’re in the shower, and the bathroom is full of steam, the mirror fogged until it’s almost opaque.

If Tomura lets the steam show his form, and makes a hand to write on the mirror – you switch off the water in the shower, and Tomura scrambles for something to drain. He’s just barely found a spider, barely trapped it in a coil of his essence, when you step out of the shower wrapped in a towel. Tomura materializes a shadow of himself, more than he’s ever materialized before, standing squarely in your path. You’ve been trying to see him. If he’s going to show himself to you, he’s going to make sure you see everything.

Your eyes are wide as you look at him, but you aren’t screaming or running, and you don’t try to wave him away like you did the first time he showed himself to you. Tomura’s stupid itching starts again, stronger than it’s ever been, and for the first time he tries to scratch it. He scratches it and studies you. Now he gets why you always look so proud when you make him show himself. He’s showing himself, finally, and you’re not mad at him. That’s worth being proud of.

There’s a sensation he hasn’t experienced before, in his face. Tomura has a face right now, and it’s doing something weird. You turn away from him, and he raises the hand that’s not scratching to touch the spot where a mouth would be on a human, where his mouth is. His lips feel dry and rough, and they’re curved upwards. He’s – smiling. Humans smile when they’re proud, sometimes. He’s doing it right.

He can’t see himself in the mirror. He doesn’t have a reflection. You do, even when the mirror’s coated in steam. You aren’t looking at Tomura. You’re looking at the mirror, like you’re waiting for him to write on it, and just as Tomura’s reaching forward to write ‘hello’, you speak up. “You’re my ghost.”

Your ghost. Tomura is your ghost, just like you’re his human – and you talked to him first. The feeling of like multiplies through Tomura’s essence as he materializes one finger to write in the steam on the mirror. Yes.

“Who are you?”

Tomura tilts his head, just like the dog does when it’s confused. He thought you knew. Your ghost.

“Who am I?”

That question makes sense. Tomura knows the answer now. Mine.

“No.” Your bare shoulders stiffen, and Tomura’s itching gets even worse. “What do you mean?”

Mine to haunt, Tomura writes. That one’s easy.

He can’t tell how you feel about the answer, though. Humans in the movies you watch don’t like being haunted. But you still aren’t running away. You ask another question. “What should I call you?”

That one’s not as easy. Tomura feels his expression distort, and you speak up again to explain more. You’re explaining things now. He should have talked to you a long time ago. “Your name.”

That’s easy, too. Tomura writes it out as fast as possible, before you can change your mind. “Tomura,” you say, and the feeling of like and the feeling of want engulf Tomura together. Like what? Want what? “Hi.”

Hi.

Tomura’s said hi. Now it’s your turn to talk. He waits, and you ask him a question. “Tomura, what do you want?”

He likes hearing you say his name. He doesn’t like when he doesn’t know the answer. He wants you to talk to him, and he wants to talk to you. He wants you to see him, like he sees you. And. And there’s something else, something he can’t put his finger on. Putting his finger on. He has fingers now. He can touch things. What if he touches –

The spider he’s been slowly draining in order to materialize goes cold, and all at once, Tomura’s out of time. He reaches desperately for the mirror, trying to write again, but his fingers dematerialize, and all he can do is swipe through the messages, wiping them out. Your eyes widen with unmistakable fear, and you bolt, fleeing from the bathroom to the bedroom. Tomura doesn’t chase you. Tomura’s too busy searching for something to kill, something to drain, so he can keep talking and explain that you shouldn’t be scared of him, that he’s not going to hurt you, just haunt you – not like the ghosts in movies haunt, but the way the ghosts in Tomura’s neighborhood must have haunted their humans, before they stopped being ghosts. You’re his human. Why would he scare you? He doesn’t want you to leave.

But you are leaving. The front door slams, and when Tomura chases after you, he sees your car pull out of the driveway, you in the front seat with wet hair and clothes that don’t match, and the dog in the backseat, curled up tight. You’re leaving. You haven’t left in the car and taken the dog since the night the coyote attacked you. What if you don’t come back?

Tomura tells himself to count minutes – it’ll make a smaller number – but he finds himself counting seconds instead, and they pile up faster than he can track. So do the feelings. Missing, but worse. Wanting, but more intense. Anger, but aimed in the wrong direction – not at you, not at the other ghosts, not at their humans. At himself. He messed this up so badly that you’re leaving him, and without life-force to materialize hands and write, he can’t fix it. The feelings build and build until Tomura’s essence can’t contain them, and he lets them all loose in an anguished howl that breaks window in every house on the street except the one he’s supposed to share with you.

Tomura’s not sorry about it, and he doesn’t care that the other ghosts and their humans are mad at him – but he does feel a little stupid when you come back. You aren’t leaving him. Why would you leave him? You said he was your ghost, so why would you leave? You come back to the house, and better yet, you say his name the instant you’ve crossed the threshold. “Tomura, can we talk?”

You didn’t just come back, you want to see Tomura again. And talk to him. Tomura still doesn’t have an answer to the question you asked him, but he can think of other things to talk about. He comes closer to you, shadowing you as you climb the stairs and step into the bathroom again. You turn the water on hot, standing still as the bathroom fills with steam. Tomura waits, too. The instant the steam is thick enough, he burns the life-force he collected while you were away to materialize an outline of himself.

He knows it’s a mistake the second he does it. If he doesn’t have life-force, he can’t make hands, which means he can’t write – which means the two of you can’t talk. But when you speak up, he realizes that he doesn’t need to write to answer your first question. “Tomura,” you say cautiously, and Tomura’s mouth curves upwards before he can stop himself, “are you mad at me?”

Tomura shakes his head. He wants to do something stronger than shake his head, but he doesn’t want to startle you and make you run away again. But it’s a stupid question. You’re his human, and you came back, and you want to see him and talk to him. What is there for him to be mad at? If Tomura could just say all that, things would be fine, but he used all his energy on making you see him. Your next question tells him that it was an even bigger mistake than he thought. “If you’re not mad at me, why won’t you talk to me?”

Tomura can’t talk to you. If he could, he would, but all he can do is shake his head again. You can see him, sure, but seeing’s not good enough – just like it’s not good enough for Tomura, not now that he knows the two of you could be talking instead. You look upset again. Sad-upset. You don’t leave the bathroom, and neither does Tomura, and the two of you look at each other while the steam slowly dissipates. Tomura waits for you to look away, but you don’t. You keep watching him, just like he watches you, and the itching kicks in again. Tomura wants to scream.

Why is it back now? He got what he wanted. All the things he wanted. You saw him and he talked to you and you came back and you know his name and you said his name – so why won’t the itching go away? What else could Tomura possibly want?

Something. Tomura wants something, and you must know that, or you wouldn’t have asked that question. Even if Tomura had an answer, he doesn’t have any way to tell you. All he can do is burn through the scant remains of his stolen life-force, staying visible to you as long as possible, wondering how he could have gotten everything he wanted and still wind up wanting to claw his essence apart.

Your sad-upset doesn’t go away, and to Tomura’s horror, you start spending less time in his house. Sure, you’re doing it because you’re talking to the other humans, or you’re working on your garden in the backyard, but you’re still avoiding the house. Avoiding him. Tomura’s house is empty more often than it’s been since you moved in. He hates it. He hates the way it makes him feel.

It’s a new feeling – not like wanting, although he’s been itching for weeks over just how badly he wants it to stop. The new feeling isn’t exactly new, either. It’s familiar, but now he has a name for the way he felt before you moved in. He felt that way for a hundred and ten years and it didn’t bother him, but it bothers him now. Maybe it didn’t bother Tomura because he didn’t know any different. Now he knows different, and the stupid new-but-not feeling – lonely – is agonizing. As days tick past, days where he can’t talk to you and you don’t try to talk to him, the need to do something, anything, about it grows.

There’s a hornets’ nest on the back porch, just like there is every summer. Tomura’s aware of it distantly – it’s just another part of his house – but it doesn’t actually capture his attention until he hears a string of curses from the backyard. It’s been so long since Tomura heard you say anything that wasn’t to the dog. He sweeps through the house and onto the back porch to find you sprawled out in the yard, clutching a hand that’s already been stung twice to your chest.

Tomura doesn’t know what pain feels like, but he knows what humans look like when something’s hurt them, and he sees you gritting your teeth, your jaw clenched. You get to your feet. Then you back slowly away from the nest, all the way to the far corner of the yard.

Tomura’s never paid much attention to the nest before, but now he doesn’t have a choice. You’re his human, and they’ve hurt you, just like the coyote would have hurt you if he hadn’t gotten to it first. Tomura should have dealt with this a long time ago. Even as he has the thought, he sees you set off, planning to deal with it on your own. And your plan is – bad.

It’s not just bad. It’s the dumbest plan Tomura’s ever seen. As soon as you’re out of sight, Tomura seizes the hornets’ nest in a dozen threads of essence and drains it for life-force. He has to get rid of them before you get back. There are hundreds of hornets inside the nest, more living things than Tomura’s ever drained before, more life-force than he knows what to do with. What should he do with it? Make hands, probably. With this much, he could make hands and keep them for hours. He could make hands, or –

Tomrua loses focus on the hornets as he pulls his essence together, forming the structure of a body from the hands up. One of them gets away as the rest of the nest crumbles to ash, and Tomura catches it by the wings, holding on as his feet hit the ground for the first time. Having a body is heavy. Tomura weighs something. He has height and width and mass. His chest feels tight, and he follows the impulse it demands of him – draw air inwards, then release it, an action he's seen humans undertake hundreds of millions of times. Something is rattling in his chest, setting up a rhythm of its own. Tomura realizes, with an odd sense of fascination, that it’s his heart.

It’s not really his heart, just like they aren’t really his hands. It’ll all be gone once he dematerializes again. Tomura tells himself that just in time for you to come back around the corner, wearing about five extra layers of clothes and dragging a garbage can.

You look as dumb as Tomura’s ever seen you look, and you look even dumber once you catch a glimpse of him and your eyes widen in shock. Tomura’s heart does something weird, and unlike his hands, it doesn’t stop doing it when he tells it to. “Um,” you start, still staring, as Tomura kills the last hornet and lets its ashes fall, “I was going to get that.”

Tomura knows. That’s why he got it for you. “I haven’t – not been talking to you,” he says. Now he sounds as dumb as you look. But he’s got a voice now. He can talk. That means he can explain. “I can’t influence this world without life-force. And I can’t get it from you or the dog.”

“Why not?”

What kind of question is that? “You’d die,” Tomura says. His body does something weird at the thought – twists, lurches, his chest turning tight. “My house would be empty.”

“And you don’t want it to be empty,” you guess. You’re right, and you must know you’re right, because you don’t wait for Tomura to answer. “Then why do you scare everybody away?”

Because everybody else isn’t you. “You left,” Tomura snaps instead. “You can’t leave.”

“Like hell I can’t,” you say. “I came back, didn’t I? I needed time to think. Your little temper tantrum with the mirror –”

“I couldn’t answer. I ran out of time.” It wasn’t a temper tantrum. Tomura kicks through the pile of ash, scattering it, realizing too late that doing it probably counts as a temper tantrum all on its own. “That spider wasn’t enough. No matter how slow I drained it.”

“So that’s why it was in one piece,” you say. You found it? No wonder you ran away – Tomura knows you hate spiders. “You drained the hornets faster, though. Does that work better?”

“I guess.” Tomura’s itching again. Scratching feels better when he actually has a neck to scratch. “We’ll see how long it lasts.”

You tilt your head, studying him. Then the worst thing Tomura’s ever heard you say comes out of your mouth. “You don’t know how this works, do you?”

“I know how it works,” Tomura snaps. “Shut up.”

No, that’s not right. Tomura doesn’t want you to shut up. He wants to talk to you, and he’s not sure how this is supposed to go, but he’s pretty sure it’s not going well. Something is happening to Tomura’s face. It feels tight and prickly, and when he lifts his hands to touch it, he figures out what that feeling is – it’s heat. “What is this? What’s happening to me?”

“I think you’re embarrassed,” you say. “You’re blushing.”

“No I’m not.” Tomura knows what blushing is. He hates it. He scratches harder, wondering if that will make it go away. “You can’t leave.”

“I can leave if I want to,” you say. “If you don’t want me to leave, you need to respect my rules.”

“Your rules?” Tomura scoffs. There’s no way the other ghosts put up with this stuff from their humans. Forget him not knowing how it works – you don’t know, either. “It’s my house.”

“And I can leave whenever I want to.”

Tomura knows that. He’s seen you do it, and he doesn’t want it so badly that he can feel everything inside his body crumpling around the thought. He wonders if you know you have him backed into a corner. You probably do, because you start in with your rules. “Rule number one: Stay out of the bathroom when I’m in there.”

“It was fine before.”

“It wasn’t. I just didn’t know about it,” you say. “Now that I do, I’m still not fine with it, and I want you to stop. Same with watching me at night.”

Tomura will cave on the bathroom thing. You don’t spend much time in there, anyway. But you spend a lot of time in the bedroom. He’s not giving up all those hours. “You sleep fine.”

“No, I don’t,” you say. “Stop.”

Why are you so stuck on this? Tomura’s not doing anything weird. It’s normal. “What, so it’s fine when he does it but not when I do?”

“What?” You look startled. No, scared. “Has someone else been in here?”

“No,” Tomura says. Maybe that’s why you’re acting so strange. You don’t know how haunting works, either. You don’t know that you’re his human, that he decides what happens to you, that he’s already decided not to hurt you. Not to hurt you, and not to let anything else do it. “Nobody comes in unless I let them.”

“Then who’s he?”

“The one in those movies you watched,” Tomura says. “He hangs out in that person’s bedroom all night and he doesn’t get in trouble.”

Now you look like you understand what he’s talking about. “You mean in Twilight? That’s not good either. She’s just too dumb to know it’s bad.”

Tomura knows that’s not right. Were the two of you even watching the same movie? “No hanging out in my room at night,” you continue. “Or I leave.”

“You’ll leave,” Tomura repeats, and his insides do that crumpling-up thing. He might hate that more than he hates the blushing. “And go where?”

“Anywhere,” you say. “I’m pretty sure you can’t follow me past the fences.”

If Tomura could do that, he would have. If he could do that, it wouldn’t make him – feel – so much when you leave. He can’t let you know that. He doesn’t want you to have that much power. “Who cares about what’s out there? I’ve got this.”

Tomura gestures at his house, his yard – you, since you’re his human. But as his hand crosses his own field of vision, he sees that it’s starting to thin out, going insubstantial. He’s dematerializing. The hornets’ nest wasn’t enough.  “No,” he explodes, not caring that you’ll hear, not caring that you’ll know. “Not yet. Damn it!”

“Hey,” you say quickly. “If you need energy to materialize and talk, I’ve got tons of weeds and mushrooms in the yard that you can kill.”

Tomura’s never heard your voice sound like that before. It’s softer, gentler, in spite of the urgency you’re speaking with. It makes him feel weird. “Or the blackberry bushes out by the fence,” you continue, still in that same tone of voice. “There’s ways for us to talk without you killing me or Phantom.”

Right. Now that Tomura knows how it works, maybe he doesn’t need a body to talk to you. Maybe he can just be a voice, like he’s just a pair of hands sometimes. Having a body is awful, anyway. It feels things and it doesn’t do what he tells it to do. “I have to go,” you say, and what’s left of Tomura’s face twists into a scowl that he doesn’t care at all about hiding. “I have to pick up some stuff to treat the stings I got, but I’ll be back later. We can talk more then.”

“You’ll come back,” Tomura says. He wants to say more, but his lungs and his throat and his vocal cords fall apart before he can.

“I’ll come back,” you promise, and some knot in Tomura’s essence relaxes. “I wouldn’t leave Phantom, and she likes you.”

Tomura knew making friends with the dog was a good idea. Or letting the dog make friends with him. He’s not really sure what happened there. The rest of his body falls away, and once it’s gone, you make your way up onto the porch and into the house. You’re not running. Not scared. You take off most of the extra layers of clothes until you look like you again, give the dog a kiss and a scratch behind its ears, and head out the front door. Phantom always looks happy about getting scratches. Now that Tomura knows what itching feels like in a human body, he wonders if you scratching his neck for him would make the itching go away.

He can’t ask you to scratch his neck. He’s not sure why he can’t, except that he knows somehow that it’s a weird thing to ask, and he’s just barely convinced you not to run away from him. Or has he? You weren’t talking to him like somebody who’s this close to running away from him. You were talking to him like – like –

Tomura doesn’t have a good word for it. He just knows he likes it. If he has to choose between you scratching his neck for him and you talking to him like that, he’d choose the talking in a heartbeat. He knows how long a heartbeat is now. He knows they happen fast.

You’re gone for a long time, long enough for Tomura to miss you, long enough for him to get angry about missing you. You’re gone long enough for the dog to get upset, to cry to be let out, so Tomura kills a few mushrooms and makes hands to open the door for it. You’re upsetting Phantom and Tomura at the same time. You need to come back soon. What’s taking so long?

When you finally come back, you’re carrying a lot of books, and you look tired. You look surprised to see the dog in the yard, but you don’t thank Tomura or say anything about it, and once you get inside, Tomura speaks first. He’s tired of waiting, and after he kills all the mushrooms in the front yard, he has enough life-force to make a body – and a voice. “Where did you go?” he demands. “You were gone for hours.”

“I went to see the neighbors,” you say. “To ask them about you.”

What? “Why didn’t you ask me about me?”

“Because you might life, and I needed the truth.” You look really tired. The stings on your hand are bright red and swollen. “They had a lot to say.”

That’s not good. The other ghosts need Tomura, but they don’t like him. If they liked him, they’d have talked to him, and they haven’t. “What did they say?”

“They said you’re strong,” you say. Tomura manages not to do the stupid blushing thing again. Maybe it only happens when what you’re saying isn’t true. “That’s why they moved here. Because you being so strong hides them from the people who summoned them.”

“It’s their fault they need to hide. They embodied themselves, like idiots.” Tomura wonders why he was worried that they’d lie about him. They can’t lie about him. They need him too much, and if he wanted to drive them out, it would be easy. “They can stay. I don’t care. As long as you stay.”

“I can stay,” you say. “I’ll be a lot more comfortable staying here if you give me some space.”

“Space,” Tomura repeats. “What kind of space?”

“When I’m in the bathroom. Humans like being alone in there,” you say. Tomura already decided to give up on the bathroom thing. He nods. “And at night when I’m sleeping. We like to be alone then, too.”

“Not everybody,” Tomura argues. He’s not caving on this one. “In those movies –”

“I’m not going to watch any more movies if you keep getting dumb ideas from them.” You’re calling Tomura dumb. If you were anybody else – “Life isn’t like movies. I like to be alone when I’m sleeping.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Do you sleep?”

“Sleeping is for humans,” Tomura says. He doesn’t understand why this is a problem, why you’re making it a problem. He cares about what you want. You should care about what he wants, too, because all this wanting is making him itch. Maybe he should explain. “It sounds nice when you sleep. I can’t hear it if I’m not in your room.”

“What sounds nice?” You look sort of alarmed. “What kind of noises am I making? Are they weird?”

“I don’t know,” Tomura snaps. He explained. Why did that make things worse? “I don’t know what noise humans are supposed to make when they’re sleeping. They don’t sound weird to me. They’re just – nice.”

You look like you’re thinking about something. Tomura waits. “I’m not fun to hang out with when I’m sleeping,” you say after a little while. “Why don’t we hang out more when I’m awake and I can talk to you?”

Tomura’s about to argue that he’s plenty entertained when you’re sleeping – and you don’t even have to do anything – before what you’re actually saying lands with him. You don’t just want to see him and talk to him. You want to spend time with him. What does that mean? Tomura could wait and find out, but he doesn’t want to wait and find out. He wants to know right now, because the itching’s even worse and his heart is beating faster and if it goes much longer, you might notice that he’s – what?

You don’t look like you’re noticing anything. “Well?”

“I need more life,” Tomura says, instead of yes, definitely, of course, what took you so long. “I killed all your mushrooms in the front yard. Find me something else and I’ll – hang out with you. You are boring when you sleep.”

“I’ll find something,” you say. Tomura’s body wavers, and when he glances down, he can see the floor through his feet. You notice too. “Thanks for letting Phantom out. I’ll see you soon.”

“Soon,” Tomura says. It had better be really soon. He doesn’t want to wait any longer than he has to.

When you said you’d find something, you must have really meant it, because you take your phone out and start messaging the other humans in the neighborhood, asking them to bring you bugs. You really hate bugs. If you’re asking for them, you must want to talk to Tomura a lot. Maybe as much as Tomura wants to talk to you. Not talk to you. Hang out.

You said hang out, and Tomura hovers over your shoulder, reading the texts and wondering if you’ll explain what “hang out” means. You don’t. Instead a shiver runs through you, one that says he’s gotten too close, that says the heat of your body and the cold of his essence don’t mix. Tomura couldn’t agree more. The few times you’ve walked through him by accident, it’s been gross. Tomura feels weird calling his human gross, but he doesn’t really have another word for it. Or he didn’t.

Now he knows what a human body feels like, and he knows it’s normal, so he doesn’t mind as much. You do. “Don’t,” you say. “I’ll get a chill.”

Tomura will back off when he’s ready, not because you told him to. But then he remembers what you said about space and needing it, and he draws away. You want to hang out with him. That’s better than tracking you when you don’t know he’s there, better than watching you sleep, better than writing on the mirror. Hanging out. Maybe that will be the thing that makes the itching go away for good.

@flamme-furamu

A new life for Tomura part 8

More Virgin!Tomura because I can’t help myself. Never has another character oozed more virgin energy and I genuinely believe even just a crumb of pussy would’ve had him renouncing his evil ways.

Virgin!Tomura x GN reader, description of oral sex and how he behaves during.

Virgin!Tomura getting head for the first time and absolutely losing his mind. He’s not used to loving touch of any kind so when you kiss his neck he whines from the sensation of your soft lips against his rough skin. The further you kiss down his hard stomach the faster his breathing becomes, he squirms away from you the closer your mouth gets to his cock, but only because he isn’t used to these feelings.

When you stroke him he whines even louder, he says “Oh fuck” who knows how many times like he’s in utter disbelief of how good your hand feels. When you kiss his tip he leans back and groans, he wonders if just a kiss felt good, how would your whole mouth feel? When you take his tip into your mouth he almost screams. He grabs your free hand that rests on his thigh and he squeezes it in alternating waves from a light touch to a rough grip. You can tell you’re doing a good job when he squeezes your hand so hard you think he might crush it.

When you deep throat him and look up to see his face you’ll see his eyes have rolled so far back into his head you only see white fluttering behind his half-open lids. The sloppier you suck him the more tense his face becomes, he wants to look at you but when he feels his cock hit the back of your throat his eyes involuntarily roll back. When you ease up on him, he leans forward so he can get a good look at how your tongue licks the cum from his slit, and the way your cheeks suck inward when his dick moves into your mouth. You seem to know his dick so well that you can extend the pleasure and pull back before he cums.

When you look up you see his widened eyes staring down at you like he can’t believe what your mouth is capable of. It’s an amazing discovery to him that the mouth that says such sweet words to him is also capable of sucking his soul out. He stares down at you with his jaw hanging slack, drool drips from his lip and his moans gurgle in his throat because he forgets to swallow. He groans “Fuck yes baby just like that” every time he feels your tongue swirl around his tip, he says “Please don’t stop baby” when you bob your head quickly to fuck him into your mouth.

Both of his hands grip the sides of your head, he tangles his fingers in your hair and grips it to fuck your face deeper onto him. His breathing speeds up and deepens to the point where he’s gasping for breath, and if you weren’t occupied with his dick in your mouth you’d see how cute he looks almost folding in on himself. His toes are curling, his posture bent inward to get a good look at you sucking him off. His hair sticks to a light sweat he’s worked up on his face and his lips are wet with the spit frothing from his mouth.

He chokes out some desperate moans and whines “I-I’m so fucking close baby” so you suck him even harder. The harder you suck his dick the more pathetic his noises become, he’s gasping for air and struggling to moan your name but he can barely get out the sound. He can’t find the words when he’s actually about to cum so you have to rely on the other cues. His hands in your hair grip tighter, his stomach tightens and he hovers closer to you. He grunts loudly and you suddenly feel a hot gush of his cum hit the back of your throat. He groans “Ohhhfuuuuuhhh-“ and twitches intermittently as you finish sucking out the rest of his cum.

Just a few minutes of your mouth on his cock can heal this man more than years of therapy ever could. He’s prepared to admit his love, merge bank accounts, put a ring on your finger, die for you. He won’t hesitate to kiss you shortly after you’ve swallowed his load and he’ll groan in your mouth when he tastes his own cum on your lips. Your mouth can do many things, and now Tomura knows you’re also capable of sucking him so well he forgets his own name.

I truly sacrificed to create this ridiculous mug. biting clay is a bad sensory experience 😔 who would have guessed

I’m tempted not to glaze the bite marks so it looks like it was bitten through the glaze lmao

Shigaraki NSFW Headcanons

Cause he makes me so insatiabley horny

Warning: nsfw obviously

This is the horniest fucker to ever exist, but he is a virgin until you

like it's bad, he's watched so much porn , he genuinely had an addiction

so when you two start getting sexual, expect a couple things

1. he doesn't last very long. however, he does regain his stamina pretty quickly so you can get back at it pretty soon.

2. he has no experience, so he's gonna try and use the weird porn he's watched as a basis - which he realizes very soon does not work

so after a few times of him kinda embarrassing himself, he goes full 180 and becomes a nervous mess

so for a while, you'll have to be in control. maybe not physically unless you want to be, but you'll have to guide him and very much show him exactly what he's supposed to do

consider: he loves you. yes he's a horny fuck, but he's also scared of people coming close to him, he's scared of vulnerability, and this feels very vulnerable. so he trusts you, and he cares about you more than anything. he really wouldn't have sex with someone unless he genuinely cared about them

meaning: he wants to make you happy. he wants you to think he's doing a good job and for you to feel fucking amazing

so he takes everything you say very seriously, and once he gets more comfortable your sex life gets amazingly better

because beyond what youve told him you like, he pays attention to all the little noises and faces and body reactions so he knows what you like exactly and he takes advantage of that in every way

he slowly becomes more and more dominant, if you're dominant you'll probably fight for it often, but if you're submissive he happily takes control

he doesn't like not being in control, but he allowed it because he knew that it'd benefit the both of you, so now he wants to be completely in control to make up for it

his favorite position is probably doggy, but in front of a mirror. Tomura loves ass, he loves seeing your ass and being able to grab at it and spank it (and maybe play with the hole if he's not already in that one) but he also loves to see your face, to see you fall apart as he fucks you, so he'll grab your hair and force you to watch yourself in the mirror

he spends most of his time around the league, which means you do too. you're basically attached to his hip at all times, and tomura likes to show you off. which also means he loves making you scream his name all night so everyone knows what's going on

he'd also be very tempted to fuck you in front of everyone - it probably stems from being told he's ugly and scary looking his whole life but he's fucking someone as hot as you so he has to rub it in everyone's faces

during a meeting, where you know he has a little makeshift throne, he's definitely had his cock buried in you while you sit on his lap, squirming around trying to get any stimulation you can, him lazily thrusting into you every now and then

his ability to regain stamina quick only gets worse once he goes through his whole buff transformation, you're getting railed for literal hours

he loves overstimulating you, he wants you to beg to cum and tell him it's too much and that you're gonna die if he doesnt stop, but keep letting him fuck you

at first, the thought of toys made him kinda insecure, but after impulsively buying you a dildo he loves it. whether it's shoving it in both of your holes, or him fucking your mouth while you fuck yourself with it, he thinks it's so hot

his wallpaper is definitely a nude

he likes superiority kinks, probably not daddy, but being called Master, or Sir, he gets so hard

his dick is long too, like 8 inches, but it's a little thin. he has scrawny man dick syndrome. it does get a little thicker when he gets buffer though

hes a sadist, so he'll put you through as much pain and humiliation as you can handle. he'll spank your ass red, yank your hair so hard you think he'll rip it out, bite you till you bleed, hell he'll even pull your panties over your head while he fucks you just to humiliate you (side note- he definitely has a wedgie kink)

if you're more vanilla (no shame), then he'll respect that. again, he loves you and it's more so about you, so he'd keep his fantasies to himself.

➳ tomura shigaraki x female! reader

╰┈➤ word count; 1423

╰┈➤ drabble; dubious consent, season one shigaraki (not buff lol), cervix fucking, rough sex, dacryphilia kink, creampie, unprotected sex, manhandling, yn has an immune quirk.

shigaraki has your hands pressed to the small of your back.

where your skin is warm, his is so cold.

his quirk does not turn you to dust. no! you are different from all the others. you are special.

maybe too special for your own good because that is the reason you wound up here.

he is panting, sweat lined along his hairline. you are crying so much but he cannot help that it only makes him fuck you harder.

he does not have one bit of restraint.

he does not like that you seem so miserable, he swears he is doing this out of love. he wants to make you feel good. really! he just gets a little rough.

he just gets so caught up in how tight your cunt is, how wet you are, how your gooey walls clamp down on him.

he pounds into your leaking slit until he is bruising you. he does not prep you despite the agonising stretch he subjects your pussy to.

shigaraki is sorry, truly he is!

he hunches over you, his bony chest meeting your back. his balls are squished between your bodies as he presses on the small of your back and ruts into you. it is borderline painful.

he puffs heated breaths, "don't cry s'much." he slurs. he leans down to cover your swollen lips in a messy kiss. he licks into your drool filled mouth, silencing your sobs and a few kisses are all it takes to have you fawning for him again.

you take any and every thing that he is willing to give you.

"don't like it like this." you whine when he pulls away, the strand of saliva sticking to your chin as you mush your face to the sheets.

you say that yet you are pushing your ass back on him. you say that but your cunt is tightly gripping his cock like you need it to survive.

he sneers, nails digging into your flesh, the jagged edges nicking the skin. his cock slips out halfway, covered in slick, so much that it drips between your thighs.

everything is sticky and your eyes squeeze at the feeling. he shoves back in roughly making you jolt.

"but your pussy likes it. your little cunt likes being filled with cock, she's soaking for it." your fingers flex under his hold, you can feel his eyes burning into you, can feel his body against your skin, you wish you could hide.

you cannot at all, not when he is pressing down on your back and has you at his whim. has you in a position where he can fuck you as hard and fast as he wants.

"i want to see your face." you brokenly speak, his spit slick tongue comes out to lave over your cheek, licking up your tears as he pounds his cock into you.

"you are so fucking spoilt." shigaraki's gravelly voice fills you ear, his free hand slips under you, rolling your stilted bundle of nerves.

the pert of his nipples grazes on your back with every sharp movement that has his cock prodding at your cervix. has it dipping deep in your slurping cunt and stretching your hole until it fits perfectly around him.

"fuckkk." he drawls, your body is so soft, so comfortable. you whine, your ass pushing more into him, your body moving with his thrusts. he is putting all his weight onto you, forcing you into the bed completely.

his hand squeezing your neck so tightly you gasp. his jaw hangs, spit trailing down the side of his mouth as his eyes roll back. he is not focused on you, he is focused on how good your slick cunt feels.

how your insides seem to suck him in and grip his cock. it feels like you are milking him dry, like you are squeezing his release out of him and into your pussy.

shigaraki's movements grow sloppy, his strokes are no longer full. his body shakes, humping you shallowly but somehow it hits every spot inside of you.

he is fucking into you with desperation, loud paps and squelches fill the room as your cunt tugs him in.

the swollen walls of your warm insides make it difficult for him to function. he feels like he is short circuiting.

"shouldn't feel this good!" he whimpers. you turn him into a mindless freak who only cares about sticking his cock in your warm, soaking hole.

he hates that you have that power over him.

your ass feels bruised at this point, his pelvic bones colliding with your skin so often you wince.

he is forceful and uncaring, vigorously fucking you with everything in him and his hips stutter before he is releasing heavy drops of his load into you.

you grit your teeth, not able to move with how he forces you down onto the sheets. his hips rock, head leaning back and his lips parted.

it is so hot and thick, it feels like your stomach is bulging from the amount. he is still humping you whilst his cock spurts streams of his load along your walls.

the milky cream coating your cunt and leaking its way into your puckered cervix. he collapses onto your back, your clit rubbed raw although you have not came once.

shigaraki pants, still grinding into the swell of your ass to fuck his seed back into you. the excess spews past the perimeter of his length, making your cunt messier.

he covers you, using all of his weight to keep you pinned to the mattress and only focused on him.

despite your squirming, he is unmoved.

"stop your fucking whining." he pinches your nipple. "your pussy feels good." he says it like it is the most renowned compliment in the world. like it does not reduce you to one thing alone. he nuzzles your cheek like he was not awful just a moment before.

you eyes are still teary, "nothing else?" you mumble. he shakes his head but it is only to get you angry. to see your lips tremble and tears fill your eyes. to see how hard you try not to cry but fail.

he knows you want to move but you cannot in this position.

not when he has you trapped beneath him, your cunt filled to the brim with his cock and his cum.

"get off!" shigaraki does not like when you talk to him like that. his teeth nip at your throat.

"be nice to me." he rasps. you want to but when has he ever been nice to you?

you can still feel his cum dripping inside you while his heavy body is flushed to you. you can barely breathe when he has you secured under him by lean muscle.

you are not sure how long he keeps you in the puddle of his semen before he pulls out.

his cock bobs between your legs as he sits up, you are wincing at the feeling. the slick mess of his cum leaks out of you.

you feel dirty.

he does not bother asking, his rough fingers tug you to face him but you slump further into the sheets.

you hear him huff at your resistance and then he is forcing you unto your back.

he hovers over you, thick strands of hair hanging down and framing his features.

"i thought you wanted to see my face." you did. you wanted to more than anything else. in a way you like to pretend that he is yours as much as he says you are his.

your eyes trail over his pretty red eyes and his blushed skin. his swollen lips and his sunken cheeks. you want him closer.

he should be the last person you find comforting but you cannot help that you do.

your hand strokes his aching cock, thumb massaging the prominent vein on the underside.

he lurches forward his stiffening erection meeting your slit. you mutely cry as he shoves it inside all at once.

he groans lowly, rocking his hips before his lips meet yours. he sloppily kisses you as he fucks his cum back inside of your cunt.

your hands greedily find purchase in his skin, trying to convince yourself that you mean something to him.

he takes and takes with no consideration. perhaps this is your purpose. to give without a care.

to give shigaraki every bit of you.

it only made sense for someone with a quirk like yours.

i rly rly want to write a daddy kink drabble/fic 😣

The # i can't 😭😂😂😂😂✋✋✋✋✨✨✨✨🤌🤌🤌

Haven't read mine ? It's cringe and not good but almost no one saw it UnU

i fear i have sucked the shigaraki x reader tag dry… i cannot find anything i haven’t already read

Request for tomura as a grocery store worker who just stocks the dairy aisle because he scares off the customers and can’t do register…always wears a mask and the hood of his hoodie up and avoids eye contact with everyone…emits such a strong aura of hatred and misanthropy that everyone just naturally avoids him.

Reader can’t get enough of him. You want to crack him open and devour him. He’s such a creep and it turns you on so much buuuuuuuut you can’t stand the fact that he never notices you, so you make an effort to wear shorter and shorter skirts every time, lower cut tops, but he still pays you no attention, even though you flashed your lacy thong while bending down to grab something and brushed your bare thigh against his clothed arm…

Unbeknownst to you Tomura has noticed everything, dreams of fucking you in all sorts of degenerate, disgusting ways…how do you think he’ll finally break and decide to teach reader a lesson? (Literally was thinking with only my p*ssy when writing this ask omg but pls have fun with this!)

A/N: i was literally only thinking w my tdick for this one this is banger bro mwah plz send me more asks from your wrinkle noodle of wisdom...i made reader gyaru/mcbling..also this is tenko, you do meet the shimura fam

WARNINGS: nsfw, creep!Tenko, Groceryworker!Au!tomura x reader, bimbo!reader, masturbation, mon mention! bi!reader, reader has just a liiiitle bit of chub

it was just supposed to be a regular day.

that's what Tenko expected as he stocked the shelves, putting some stuff here and there but he mostly hung around the tech section, seeing all the new goodies the shop had he'd definitely ask father to buy when he gets the chance. he'd atleast make a light effort to help customers but end up making them think that he's about to follow them out the store and mug them. he wears his uniform over his hoodie so people know he's a worker but to no avail. he keeps his long shaggy black hair over his face so people don't get even more scared of him but that usually ends up worsening the situation, so he's made less and less efforts to interact with the customers, their fault for not wanting his help.

he lets out a sigh as he sees the new stock for this month, cheap headphones, cheap everything really. phonecases here and there, nothing of interest really comes around unless he thinks it looks cool enough to buy even though he knows it'll break in like a week max. he hears customers come in and out of the store as the bell dings and he can hear his coworker ring people up, and he heard the sound of heels clacking towards him, god, probably another cubicle working mother here to buy her son or daughter something just to get them to shut up, but when he looked up from the hanging racks, he saw someone he doesn't usually see around this area.

kamino ward is a place where thugs run rampant and crime barely goes unchecked because the criminals pay off the police to keep their lips shut, which is why he thinks all cops are useless. he scratched his neck as he stared at them, letting out a small 'ah', his crimson eyes dilated a bit as he eyed her up and down.

you..were hot, really, really fucking hot. leopard print tights around your legs with a dangerously short skirt that barely hid anything, nails covered in all sorts of accessories as your makeup made you stand out even more. you were looking for some new headphones since your pet chewed up your last pair, and sadly you really liked those.

some other guys were already eyeing you up and down, but you knew the attention you picked up from wearing this fashion style, and you somewhat liked it, however you told yourself you only dress like this for the girls and the girls only. you bent over and checked the rack, looking for a nice pair that you could use for awhile before you order online. you let out a small hum as you saw one with a design you liked, so you looked over for a worker before you saw one, he was an odd looking guy, lanky, a black hoodie with a worker uniform ontop, he certainly stood out to you.

he was staring and somewhat infatuated with you, he doesn't see many pretty girls around this area and spotting you..it made his heart race a little, it kind of reminded him how father and mother were pressuring him to get his life together and find a wife already, aswell as Hana, who was constantly bugging him about finding a girlfriend who she could bond with. it all pissed him off to no end but you made him think a little harder on it. he knew for sure someone like you wouldn't even turn a second glance to him so when you looked over and locked eyes, he was surprised.

what surprised him even more was you walking towards him, holding some girly phonecase and a pack of headphones in your hand as you came up to him, he wasn't looking at your chest, he was looking at your makeup he swears, please don't come over just to berate him for staring..who wouldn't..?

"Hi- uh..are you allowed to open this? I would like to do a soundtest before i purchase these." you would say to him nonchalantly but he somewhat stared at you with wide eyes as he just nodded, it scared you a little bit his lanky build, his haircut, fuck, just his expression made you want to bite your lip and smile, this guy was hot, really, really fucking hot. his voice jumped into his throat without warning and he suddenly couldn't get any words out without looking down at the floor, trying to avoid eye-contact as he tugged on his hood and tried not to stare at your chest instead. "I-it's against store policy, no, you can't." he said gruffly, his raspy and scratchy voice surprised you but you couldn't say you didn't like it.

"Hm, alright, thank you anyway." you would end up saying with a small smile, going over to the counter to check your items out while Tenko blinked, twitching his fingers to make sure he was still awake and in reality, surprisingly though he was. it was a nice fantasy to imagine himself asking you for your number but he knew all too well that you would never say yes to the likes of him. who would really? he had flat greasy hair, a messed up face, a lanky build and pale yellow teeth, he wouldn't exactly call that ideal for a partner someone like you would want.

little did he know that you'd become a regular at this damn grocery shop.

after a few days, he'd see you every few days or so, and it surprised him. you always came to the tech section atleast once to ask him for help or some opinions on things and all those times you did he always seemed dumbfounded, he was a little rude but that didn't scare you off, did it? nor' did it scare you when you wore skirts that practically had your whole ass out, tops that barely covered your chest or left a perfectly wide window for all to see in just to try and get him to look at you with those cute black eyes of his, his faint blush that spread down to his collarbones made you bite your lip whenever you turned around him him and it felt great.

he was upset with you, and himself. whenever you'd come into the store, he'd have a boner straining against his pants but luckily his jeans were big enough that it wasn't visible and his hoodie covered his crotch when he put his hands in the front pocket. he wasn't sure why you got him so hard, he's seen all sorts of girls do all sorts of things on porn sites, so why is it that you get him way harder than any of them? within a few days, he'd notice that he cums harder loads whenever he watches something that had an actress where she shared a similiarity to you. he didn't even know your name for god's sakes and here he was, hands in his front pocket as he tried to keep his cool.

you were wearing a tube top and a short skirt, showing thong that rested on your hips and a belly button piercing dangling on your stomach as you looked over at him, you weren't wearing a bra or whatever as he could directly see your nipples poking against the fabric of your top, it made his breath hitch as he saw you come closer again. "What is it this time?" is his usual reply, but he blush off put his hissy tone. "oh, I'm looking for a new phone case, mind helping me find stuff and scanning it with your little..machine? I'm on a budget!" you'd reply with a small smile, it'd become your daily routine at some point.

he'd lead you around and show you the new stock, but what he didn't expect was to see you bend down, an arched back as you began 'searching' through the catalogue of phonecases as you made light chatter. he could barely reply as all the blood used in his head went straight down to his dick as it painfully strained against his pants. he could see the string between your folds and barely covering your holes, he could see it yet it wasn't enough, he needed to see all of it. the lace barely even covered you. he was snapped out of his trance as he felt you back up and all of a sudden, your plush ass was pressed against his arm, he wishes he rolled up his sleeve but it was too late now. the slight jiggle made him almost cum in his pants as he barely held back.

"uh, your stock is ugly as always, what a shame, i was planning on getting a new phone and wanted a case from here, it's cheap and good quality." you would ramble on about it and even press yourself against him even more before you stood up straight and sighed, he seems so nonchalant and aloof as always, were you ever gonna catch his attention?

it was late and you were parading around with your ass out at night in one of the most dangerous cities no less, so you'd finally decided enough for today as you headed home. Tenko soon followed after and clocked out around an hour or so later. so the moment he got home, he skipped dinner and went straight to his room, ignoring how mother and Hana called for him. with the click of a lock, he plopped himself down onto his bed, palming his half hard erection to get it back up as he let out a quiet groan, closing his eyes and arching his back. pulling his hood off of his body and taking his uniform off as he hurried to get down to just his boxers.

he could feel his cock twitch and ache as he let out a small whimper and wrapped his hand around it, spreading his own precum around his cock as his skinny legs trembled. be bit his lip and tried to swallow a groan but it left his lips anyway as he began stroking himself to the thought of you. he wondered how tight your pussy would be, the kind of things you like in bed.

would you like it from the front? or the back? would you let him fuck you raw? would you let him cum inside of you? if he asked nicely would you get under his desk and suck him off while he played games? what kinds of kinks do you have? is his size okay?

he gripped his dick a little harder as he let out labored breaths, stroking faster as he imagined himself putting it in, he was a virgin but he had a dream. would you watch with him as it slides in or would you be too busy throwing your head back and moaning? would you let him eat you out till you squirt into his mouth? so many questions left him even more erect than before as he humped his fist, gritting his teeth as he kept his eyes closed, trying to picture you and what happened earlier that day.

he tried to imagine the sounds you would make, what kinds of degenerate shit would you let him do to you? would you let him choke you? would you let him slide between your titties? would you let you call him mommy? he was so close to cumming and he knew it. his legs shook a little as he let out another whimper.

his number one fantasy with you is losing his virginity in that tight pussy of yours, he's played it out a million times in his mind, the foreplay, how it would happen, and how he'd cum deep inside of you while you praised him and called him your good boy, the second one that gets him off the most is having you stroke him from behind as you grip his dick through his boxers and place sweet kisses along his scarred neck while gently teasing at his nipples.

but one thing made him cum the fastest, and it was imagining your voice whispering a praise into his ear followed by 'i love you'. he could feel his load bust onto his chest as his cock twitched and leaked cum, he panted softly, opening his eyes to see the mess he made and his softening cock. he closed his eyes again and rested for a bit, trying to recover from that sudden orgasm and the high he got. but poor Tenko never really gets a break.

"Tenko! mom said it's your turn to feed mon, and you should eat dinner, it's really good what mom cooked.."

he wanted to eat something right now but he wasn't exactly thinking about mother's cooking.

"I'll be out soon, Hana."

—Ake 2024