Trying to find new fics and all I see is smut
Stop this madness
If the world was ending, I'd wanna be next to you
Elphaba Thropp x fem!reader x Glinda Upland
Summary: Your heart breaks when you hear the news about Elphaba. It breaks even more when Glinda returns without her to see you.
Word Count: 1,3K
Warning: ANGST, mentions of spells (don't tell me), prejudice.
note: reader is a witch too.
ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.
"I insist that you should come with me." Elphaba's deep, calm voice sounded from beside you, making you turn your head towards her.
You snorted lightly. She had been insisting on this ever since the Wizard's invitation arrived. And you kept refusing, this was her moment. Elphaba deserved this. She deserved the whole world.
"No, Elphaba." you turned on the grass, your body facing hers. "Seriously, it's going to be great. You're going to do amazingly well, as always. And he's going to love you, everyone loves you."
You had dragged Elphaba out to the field after Shiz after school ended, wanting to have a moment alone with her before she left the next day. You would have called Galinda, but she seemed too busy with Fiyero, so you just shrugged.
Your friendship with Elphaba seemed like something that was destined not to happen, since you weren't exactly outgoing and she was very closed off, always on the defensive. You didn't blame her, it was all the prejudice she had suffered throughout her life that was to blame.
"I wish someone important was with me at this... such an important moment." she smiled slightly. "Are you really sure?"
Before answering, you looked at the field around you and bent down to pluck a delicate white flower that was lying near your feet. Holding it, you turned to Elphaba and stared at her for a moment, feeling your heart swell. With a delicate movement, you took her hand and turned it over, placing the flower in her green palm.
Holding her hand gently in yours, you closed your eyes for a moment and then released her.
"Did you make a wish on the flower?" she asked, lifting one corner of her lips, her gaze falling to the small flower in her hand.
"I put my best thoughts and wishes into it." you replied, bringing your hand to her chin to tap it with your index finger. "The flower knows I wish you the best, take it with you and return it to me when you return to Shiz."
Elphaba smiled the big smile that warmed your heart and leaned in, wrapping her arms around you.
At dusk you saw Galinda's small figure open her arms towards you in the middle of Shiz's courtyard and automatically opened yours before running towards her, feeling her lift you off the ground lightly.
"Galinda! I told you not to do that, you'll end up hurting yourself." you scolded as she lowered you again.
"It never gets old for me," she hummed. "I haven't seen you since the classes ended, where was my dearest friend?"
"Your dearest friend?" you giggled and she started walking, pulling your hand.
"Don't let anyone hear." she spoke almost singing again. "I was with Fiyero, and you? Where? And with whom."
She turned to you with big, expectant eyes, squeezing your hands tightly.
"With Elphaba, I wish I had more time to say goodbye." you said simply, shrugging.
"Oh! Elphie. I wish the same, having more time to say goodbye." she said and clung to you dramatically, hiding her face in your shoulder. "My roommate is leaving."
Galinda's dramatic and over-the-top ways had previously driven you away from her, but she ended up becoming your friend when she saw you talking to Elphaba. The arrangement worked out, somehow.
"I just had a magnificent idea!" she suddenly shouted, releasing you.
"What?"
"You can live with me while Elphie is away!" she put both hands on your shoulders. "It'll be perfect! That way we won't suffer so much when she's gone."
"She's not going to die, Galinda." you laughed. "But if it makes you happy, fine, I'll live with you."
You knew it wasn't going to happen. Just like you knew Galinda would get on the train with Elphaba. Your vision was clear this time.
You saw them both walking hand in hand down the emerald green corridor, heard the wizard's voice and then your vision ended. You couldn't interfere, even though you had seen very little.
Hence the flower. A protection spell might not be enough, but it was the most you could do without interfering with future events.
Galinda let out an excited squeal that snapped you out of your thoughts and her heels began to click on the floor as she pulled you up and started running towards your dorm.
The day in Shiz was overcast after the green train had left to Emerald City. You were writing one of your sorcery lessons when your head buzzed, forcing you to groan and squint. The vision was blurry at first, and the voices were muffled, but slowly it began to make sense.
Elphaba's irritated voice rang out, followed shortly by Galinda's calm request for something from her. Her vision blurred for a moment before focusing again, this time clearer. The outlines of Elphaba and Galinda stood in front of a large glass window.
When your head buzzed again, the image that appeared was that of your friend flying in front of a group of people, who were pointing guns at her. Galinda had her back to it, hugging Madame Morrible tightly.
With a groan of pain, you opened your eyes, looking around your dorm desperately, not really looking for anything. It wasn't supposed to be this way, why were they threatening Elphaba with weapons? Why wasn't Galinda helping her? Letting those people point their guns at her?
She managed to cast a spell to fly. In the midst of the whirlwind of negative thoughts, this one at least left a hint of pride in you.
Your despair did not pass with the hours of the day and to make matters worse, Madame Morrible's announcement of Elphaba's capture only made everything worse. Your stomach ached with worry, your head throbbed with agony.
None of it was true. Elphaba was not an enemy, she was not. And there was no evil in her either. You shivered when Madame Morrible's sophisticated voice called your best friend the Wicked Witch.
Some students who were unable to contact their families remained in Shiz until the next day, and you were among them, your eyes heavy with sadness, your chest heavy with a pain you could not explain.
Sitting on one of the fancy benches in the courtyard, you didn’t bother to look up when you heard the familiar click of Galinda’s heels approaching.
"You-you couldn't go home?" her soft voice rang out in the heavy silence present. "You can go to my-"
"Get out of here, Galinda." your voice sounded hoarse, perhaps from the hours you spent crying without knowing what to do.
"Did you know that you're the only one who calls me that now? It's just that I changed my name, now it's Glinda." she tried to sound optimistic, approaching with hesitant steps. "But you can keep calling me Galinda, I don't mind."
At another time, you would have laughed and thought she was silly and funny. But not now, not after what she did.
Encouraged by your silence, she spoke again, now almost standing in front of you.
"I couldn't do anything. I didn't want to anger her. And also Madame Morrible-"
"You already have everything, Galinda!" you snapped, standing up. "You have money, you have beauty, and everyone loves you. What do you lack?! Elphaba means so little that at the first opportunity to have the attention of someone who doesn't care about you, you trade her?"
"Don't yell..." she tried to take your hand, but you pulled it away abruptly. "I don't like seeing you sad."
"How do you want me to feel? What do you think Elphie is feeling right now?" your voice broke as tears began to threaten to spill over. "You're a terrible friend."
This seemed to shock Galinda and she staggered back a few steps, her large eyes widening even further.
"You didn't really mean it." she spoke even more softly.
"I meant." you ran your hands over your face and looked at her. "I don't want you to come near me anymore. Or even speak to me."
"No..." Galinda's broken voice made you sadder, but you started walking quickly away from her anyway.
Under The Influence (of Regret)
Vi x fem!reader
Summary: An already altered discussion has an even worse consequence.
Word Count: 1,2K
Warning: HEAVY ANGST, mentions of alcoholism, canon-typical violence, arguments, screaming, BLOOD.
note: this story takes place after the end of arcane.
ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.
War and grief have the power to change a person. Maybe for a while, or maybe forever, but change is a certainty.
You didn't escape it, neither did Vi.
You were a constant presence at Caitlyn's mansion, at her insistence. She knew that having a friend around would be good for Vi and for herself. And you didn't want to be alone either, after everything you'd witnessed.
With the periods you spent away from your apartment, it was necessary to always have a small suitcase with your things, despite Caitlyn's insistence that you occupy one of the closets in the room you were assigned.
The problem with taking your clothes was that Vi got into the habit of borrowing them, or just taking them out of your suitcase and then showing up wearing one of your shirts.
But you didn't care. Stealing your clothes seemed like a pastime to her, or pestering you to read to her in front of the fireplace. You didn't mind any of that, since you'd rather have her doing those things than drinking whole bottles of booze.
Vi's addiction to alcohol has always worried you, you closely followed the bad period she went through after the fight with Caitlyn.
She scoffed the first time you suggested she try cutting down on her drinking, got angry the second time, and only softened the third time when she saw how upset you were about it..
The first few months after the war were the hardest, as she grieved over Jinx's death. But you tried to make her comfortable, giving her space and staying close when she seemed more open. The following months were easier, even though the pain was still there, she knew you would be there for her.
With a soft knock on the door of the room she shared with Caitlyn, you waited only a few seconds before hearing permission to enter.
Vi smiled softly as you poked your head in the doorway before stepping all the way in. She was sprawled out in one of the fancy chairs near the fireplace.
"Hey, smarty pants." she held out a hand as you approached.
"Hey, what are you doing?" you rubbed your thumb gently over her bruised knuckles. They were already healing.
"Just... nothing. I couldn't find you and Cait is working in her office." she replied, leaning her head against the back of her chair. "What about you?"
"I'm sorry to tell you, but I need my brown jacket." You replied, seeing her look up at you. "I'm going home today."
"Why?" she asked, letting herself sound fragile, something she rarely did.
"I need to wash my clothes and, I don't know, live in my own house? For a while. Before they kick me out." you shrugged.
"There's a washing machine here, I bet you can use it. And Cait already said you can live-"
"Vi." you interrupted her with a warning tone. "I don't want to talk about this again, you can come see me, or I'll come here when I have time, I don't know. Where's my jacket?"
She let go of your hand and frowned cutely, making her look like a kitten.
"In my middle drawer." she nodded towards the large closet that took up almost an entire wall in the room. "On the left side of the closet."
"In the drawer?" you asked, frowning as you walked over to the closet, opening the doors and looking at the drawers she indicated. "You know where you're supposed to hang a jacket, right?"
"Nonsense," she replied, turning her face back to the fire. "I saved it, that's what matters."
"It must be full of mold, yuck." you joked as you opened the drawer, soon spotting the thick lining of your jacket, picking it up and bringing it close to your face.
You were about to close the drawer again when you saw a smooth surface, glass? Against your better judgment of leaving Vi's privacy alone, you opened the drawer wider and moved the few clothes that were covering the small bottle out of the way. Bottle. A small, light bottle of liquor. Someone had drunk more than half of it.
Your stomach sank and you stopped listening to Vi's voice rattling off a response to your earlier taunt. You lifted the bottle and turned to her.
"Vi, what the fuck is this?" you sounded harsher than you intended. "I thought you were done with that."
She turned her face to you, her expression darkening into anger, "Gimme that." she stood up and walked over to you.
"What's this nonsense?" you took the bottle out of her reach as she stepped forward and tried to take it from you.
"You don't have to get involved in this. Give me the bottle." she held out her hand and you stepped back even further.
"Please, you've come so far. Does Cait know? She'd hate to see you drinking again." you could feel your eyes burning with tears that wanted to come out.
"You don't know anything about me and Cait. Give me that." she advanced on you and you felt anger.
"No!" you shouted. "I thought you-"
"I told you to give me that!" she raised her fist in the air and you felt your head being thrown back hard, making you stumble.
You lost your balance and the things you were carrying fell. Your vision blurred slightly and you soon felt blood running down your now sore nose. Bringing your hand up to your face, you panicked slightly when you saw the thick liquid covering it.
You turned your wide eyes to Vi, who was staring at you, transfixed. Getting up from the ground, you quickly walked past her and stomped away.
The large bandage on your nose was uncomfortable and unsightly. Your nose throbbed and every now and then a wave of pain would hit you, making you curl up even more.
But the pain you felt when you remembered Vi's words was greater, she was right, after all. You knew nothing about her and you shouldn't meddle in her life.
The next day came in a blur and you only realized it when you heard a knock on your door. Groaning in discontent, you dragged yourself over and opened the door a crack.
Your expression quickly fell when you saw Vi standing there, your suitcase slung over her shoulder, your brown jacket in her unoccupied hand.
"What are you doing here?" you spat.
"You... you left your things at Cait's house, I just wanted to bring them to you." she said, her gaze roaming over your face, a hint of worry present.
You reached your hand through the door opening, "Okay, give it to me."
"It's heavy, I'll put it in there for you." she lowered her face and continued to look at you, so that her eyes seemed bigger. "Please."
You huffed and opened the door wider, stepping aside for her to come in. She walked past you with cautious steps as you left the door ajar. You crossed your arms, watching her place your suitcase on the coffee table, resting your jacket on top.
Vi turned to you, her gaze lingering on your face. She looked shy, which was not like her.
"I didn't mean to hit-"
"You said you came to bring my things and you already did, you can go." you interrupted, your nose starting to hurt again.
"I would never hurt you on purpose." she took a step towards you, making you step back. "I didn't mean to do it."
"But you did. And you were right, anyway. I don't know anything about you and I'm not going to interfere in your life anymore." you replied, your voice serious. "Go away."
Vi's eyes shone, the shine of tears she didn't want to shed. She shook her head and walked past you.
And would you go ahead and just cry? 1/3
Jinx x fem!reader
Summary: A member of the Kiramman family who became friends with Jinx suffers some consequences.
Word Count: 1,6K
Warnings: HEAVY ANGST, mention of firearms, mention of character death, mention of bombs, mention of attacks, Jinx has a small episode of PTSD.
ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.
next chapter >
You were originally supposed to be a pupil of Mrs. Cassandra Kiramman. An apprentice in politics and society, and a student at the Academy. It was like that, in some parts, but in others not. You didn't call her Mrs. Cassandra Kiramman, you called her mother. You didn't call Tobias Mr. Kiramman, you called him father. And Caitlyn was just Caitlyn. Your sister of heart and soul.
Growing up an orphan in the city of progress wasn't all bad, the orphanages were run by wealthy families and the orphans were taken in by them, becoming pupils and students. Some became great inventors and scientists, making the family that adopted them known for their generosity.
Cassandra took you in when you turned 12 years old, the age considered ideal for the preparation of a promising young student. She always kept a warm smile on her face, placing her hand on your cheek or shoulder, speaking tenderly.
You addressed her as your mentor for the first few weeks, but that didn't last long. Not after Caitlyn had grown so attached to you that she made you sleep in her bed every night, or after Cassandra insisted that you sit at the table with them always, and called you baby and darling, and eventually, daughter. Tobias was equally affectionate, sometimes more so than Cassandra, he would sometimes spend hours with you and Caitlyn, studying documents and drinking tea.
The years passed, the city of progress remained the city of progress, but you couldn't help but look at the city on the other side of the bridge. You always secretly read some records about the Undercity, about the toxic air, the needs of the people there. Although you now belonged to one of the richest families in Piltover, and had the surname Kiramman proudly registered on your documents, you focused your studies and projects on improving the quality of life of the people in need.
Caitlyn had recently been appointed enforcer, and was almost obsessed with an investigation to find the perpetrator of the attacks in Piltover. After she showed up at the mansion with that pink-haired girl, Vi, you decided to follow them to Zaun, in secret, of course.
That's how you met Jinx, your newest friend.
"Jinx!" you called loudly, trying to make your voice go over the loud sound of her speakers. You groaned a little at the weight of the bag you were carrying on your shoulder. You walked over to the speakers and hurriedly turned them off. "Jinx, my beauty."
"Don't you see me here?" she asked cheerfully, turning to face you, her violet eyes covered by goggles.
"I brought some more stuff, I hope it'll be useful." You walked over to her counter and placed the bag on top with a loud thud.
She got up quickly, unzipping the bag in a hurry, putting her nimble hands inside, taking out some objects and bringing them close to her face to look at.
"Well, you're welcome." you rolled your eyes playfully.
"Thank you!" she was on you in seconds, wrapping her arms around your waist, one of her legs passing over yours, as if she wanted to hook herself onto you. She let go of your arms and pushed you down onto her bench, quickly grabbing the equipment she was working on from the desk, straddling your legs with a playful, almost manic look on her face. “You’ll like the new one.”
"What is it?" you look at her expectantly. She arched her eyebrow and smiled even wider, then placed the device at eye level, making you frown. "This?"
"What do you mean 'this'? It's my new bomb, I told you!" she exclaimed happily, rocking on your lap. "It's going to release the butterflies."
"The butterflies that explode?" you asked and saw her nod, then scoffed. "Hm."
"Why are you so down? What kind of friend are you?" she jumped off your lap, placing the object on the table. "I was happy when you said you covered the sewers."
"I didn't cover the sewers, Jinx, I put a physical barrier in the sewers in addition to the fans, so it's safer to breathe." you crossed your arms. "And I also improved the quality of the fans."
"Hm." she imitated you, crossing her arms.
"Hm." you chuckled, pulling her towards you. "I'm kidding, the bomb is cool."
"I know!" she exclaimed loudly, letting out a laugh.
Some time later, you were lying on one of the giant propellers, with your leg hanging over the edge. You took a deep breath, feeling your stomach churn. You turned your face to look at Jinx, who was babbling about something nonstop.
"Jinx."
"Huh?" she stopped talking and looked at you, still smiling.
"I need to tell you something."
You explained, told her everything, your origins, your family, the orphanage. She reacted well up to a certain point, but she became violent when Caitlyn's name was mentioned. Pointing her gun at you.
"And you're just telling me this now?" she says, her voice hoarser than usual. "Traitor. You fooled me so well."
"Jinx, you are... my friend." you speak cautiously, brow furrowed in concern. "You are my only friend, I wasn't trying to deceive you. I didn't mean to make you angry."
"Yeah, but now I'm angry. I'm really angry." she raised her voice, her eyes widening slightly. "Go tell your sister where I am, she's coming after me."
"I'm sorry, I won't say anything. I would never say anything, I would never put you in danger." you took a step closer to her. "I love you."
"Liar." she said, then used her free hand to pull her hair. "Shut up!"
"Jinx..." you called cautiously, knowing about the fits she had sometimes. "It's okay, I'm here."
"Liar..." she said, gasping a little, finally lowering the gun, collapsing to her knees on the floor, her hands still pulling her hair tightly.
You walked over to her, bending down and lightly touching her pale arm. She lifted her tear-stained face, looking desperate.
"I'm sorry..." she sobbed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"
"Don't cry, please." you bring your hands to her face, gently wiping away her tears. "Don't cry, it's okay."
"Don't leave me here, don't leave me." She threw herself at you, squeezing you tightly.
"I won't."
Caitlyn testified at the council, or what was left of it. Jinx. The one responsible for your mother's death.
A day passed. Then another, and another. You spent the days in your room, staring at your mother’s blue and gold pistol, which was now yours. Caitlyn was lost in grief, coming up with a plan to get Jinx. But you knew it couldn’t be Caitlyn, it had to be you.
Breathing hard, with a headache from the tears you were holding back, you walked the path you knew so well and soon arrived. The pink and blue amidst the gray of the giant propellers. The music wasn't playing this time.
You walked closer, your hand aching from the continued grip on the pistol. You spotted the blue braids from afar.
She turned her pink eyes to you and knew. She knew the moment she saw you. She got down from the couch she was curled up on and tried to get closer, her big eyes shining brighter than usual, her brow furrowed in concern.
"I-I didn't know, I was—" she stopped talking when you raised the pistol towards her eyes.
"I don't give a shit," you said through gritted teeth. "Caitlyn said you caused that attack."
She remained silent for a while, her hands hanging at her sides, her breathing shaky.
"That reminds me. Maybe you were still mad at me because of Cait." you said, swallowing hard.
"No, no, I swear." she shook her head repeatedly. "Even though you're the thing I care about most, it wasn't because of you. I didn't mean to hurt you... I'm sorry."
"My sister wants to kill you, she's coming after you. But I knew it couldn't be her, it had to be me." you said, your grip on the gun wavering.
"Alright, it's you." she said, raising her hands in the air. "I won't try anything. I swore not to raise my weapons against you, ever again."
Your hand shook, the headache growing, your heart beating faster. You took a deep breath, tears starting to fall.
"Why did you do this, Jinx? You ruined everything." you sobbed, your brow furrowed in sadness.
"I always ruin everything." she muttered softly, lowering her face, her blue bangs covering her expressions. "I'm sorry."
"My mother was there." you said. "My mother is dead now."
"I wasn't thinking straight." she muttered. "I didn't know, I didn't want to, I was in pain. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
You were both the same now, shaking. Jinx kept her hands in the air, you kept the gun pointed at her. Breathing hard through your tears, you sobbed, your finger on the trigger, threatening to pull.
Breathing harder, you groaned through your tears, tears falling freely. With a loud grunt, you threw the gun to the ground, covering your face with your hands, crying loudly.
"I can't, I can't, not you." you sobbed. "Not you."
You heard Jinx's heavy boots against the metal and soon felt her slender body pressing against you, her arms pulling you towards her. She pulled your hands away from your face and placed kisses on your lips.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she murmured in that desperate tone. "It wasn't supposed to be like this."
You sighed and hugged her back, feeling her press herself closer, the kisses getting stronger. Placing your hand on the side of her face, you caressed it lightly and pulled her in, sinking into a real kiss.
She looked hungry now, sucking hard. You placed one hand on the back of her neck and pulled her face away. Looking into the pink irises, you could see genuine regret.
Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen looking at her children.
Ignorance: part 1/?
Joel Miller x reader
Summary: You confess to Joel and are rejected.
Word Count: 2K
Warnings: ANGST, mention of deaths, typical canon violence, end of the world, Jackson!Joel.
note: this story had already been posted before my blog was deleted and is also available on AO3.
ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.
Ignoring the bad part of things was your favorite thing to do. It made you less sad and gave a false sense of normality in the destroyed and rotten reality you lived in. Not that Jackson was destroyed and rotten, but the world outside the gates was. So that's why you ignored everything, the spores, the cordyceps, the clickers, runners, lurkers, all of them. You did everything to escape being put on patrol, you wouldn't leave Jackson unless it was a matter of life and death. Your tasks in the community were taking care of the gardens, the stables and cleaning the community cafeteria.
It seems like a lot, but it's good for not looking idle and useless, it takes up your entire day and gives you a feeling of work accomplished and satisfaction at the end of the day, when you climb the few old wooden steps to the porch of your house. Those steps really need replacing, actually. If you stood still for more than a few minutes on top of them you ran the risk of falling. But you left that aside, you had something else in mind. In fact, you had one person in mind.
That almost completely gray-haired man, with a grey beard, robust, deep and serious voice, strong Texan accent. Joel Miller. You couldn't stand being around him for more than a few minutes, your heart was beating very quickly and you felt butterflies in your stomach. The man was Ellie's father, a girl a few years younger than you, she was a bit foul-mouthed but nice, you had already spoken to her a few times.
You held your breath from the first time you saw him in the community a year ago, and it's never been the same since. Whenever you passed him on the streets you held an idiotic sigh, you felt like a teenager for acting like that, but you couldn't help it. The man had your heart in his hands and you couldn't do anything to get it back.
Some people in Jackson spoke badly about Joel behind his back, saying he was a surly, violent man who had a lot of mood swings. One of your few friends, Emily, said the same thing when you mentioned Joel to her, but you ignored it. It wasn't like he was that bad, it should just be that the hard years he lived outside the gates were taking a toll on him, but you were sure he was a good person.
You said this to Emily, but she reiterated that Joel was an extremely violent and bad-tempered man who had done terrible things in the outside world. You chuckled and said 'and who hasn't done terrible things out there?'. Emily sighed and the conversation ended there
Holidays in Jackson were celebrated without fail, especially the most famous ones, like Christmas and New Year, but Maria began to innovate and encourage other things, like spring food festivals, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day. It seemed strange to celebrate Valentine's Day at the end of the world, but the young people in the community seemed to get excited, you included, so hearts and pink things were hung on the doors of the houses and some lights were painted pink too, in the community bar.
Oh, one thing that wasn't mentioned: your house was almost opposite Joel's house. A coincidence. You took advantage of the Valentine's Day arrangements and picked up some decorations to hang in your house, a medium pink paper heart was glued, and next to it two small red hearts. You pulled away and smiled widely as you looked at the minimal decorations that gave some life to the almost colorless landscape.
You heard heavy footsteps trampling the snow and turned to see the man himself, shotgun slung over his shoulders, backpack on his back and a tired expression on his face. Joel looked directly at your door, then looked at you and shook his head and turned to enter his own without saying anything.
You let out an excited squeal along with other women whenever someone confessed to their loved one or handed over a hastily made card. The number of these events had been increasing since the community was dressed up for the holiday. You couldn't wait to do the same, you had already planned everything, you had handmade a card for Joel, it wasn't pink or red, he didn't seem to like those things very much. It was a nice card that could be used to decorate his room, or something like that, if he didn't actually have a room.
You wouldn't do that in front of everyone, you knew Joel was an older and reserved man, he didn't seem to like attention. You didn't know his schedule, you only saw him occasionally passing home at dusk, so that's what you did: you sat on your sofa below the window and waited until Joel passed by. As soon as he appeared in your field of vision with the same thick beige jacket, the same shotgun slung over his shoulder, the same worn brown backpack and the same heavy boots you stood up and took a deep breath. She watched until he entered the house and closed the door, then took the card from the coffee table and put on his coat, opened the door and took the few steps it took until he arrived at Joel's house.
The card you had prepared was made of yellow paper, folded in half, it had a bee drawn with your best artistic gifts and right below it there was the phrase 'Bee mine?' in large black letters. You let out a giggle through your nose and walked up the few steps to Joel's house, knocked on the door softly and waited.
You didn't notice, but the window curtain moved to open a tiny crack, where Joel peeked out. A few seconds later the door opened and you caught your breath. There he was, he looked tired and you felt bad for going to talk to him at this time. Shaking your head slightly, you were about to start speaking, but before you could open your mouth, Joel spoke:
"May I help you?" the hoarse voice spoke.
"Oh, good night." you said shyly after a few minutes. "I... I wanted to, uhm–"
"Listen, young lady, I don't mean to be rude, but I just got here and I'm tired." he continued.
You swallowed hard and took the card from behind your back, holding it towards him.
"I-I was hoping to talk, but you're tired, so... here it is, I made it for you." you waved the card but he didn't move to take it. "It's for Valentine's Day."
Your stomach was churning, his expression didn't look very good, he looked very seriously at you, then looked at the card.
"You can take it, it’s for you–” you tried to extend the card to him again.
"I'm sorry, but, did you really think this was a good idea, girl?" the tone of voice was rude now. "Coming over to my house like that and handing me a piece of paper?"
"I– uhm, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you." you swallowed, feeling a lump form in your throat. "I just wanted to give the card I made."
"And why do you want to give me this bullshit so much?"
You had your face lowered but you looked up, slightly wide-eyed at his aggressive sentence, consumed by a wave of angry courage you blurted out:
"I really like you."
"What?" he said mockingly after a few seconds. "Do you really like me?"
"Yes." you answered bravely, still feeling the lump in your throat. "I– I really like you, I mean… I mean I'm in love with you."
Joel stared at your face for a few seconds, as if studying you, then let out a light nasal laugh and said:
"I'm old enough to be your father, girl. Go home and don't bother me again, you seem like the pushy type."
"Listen, please, I've loved you for a long time–"
"What are you talking about, stupid girl?" he looked very angry now, his brow was furrowed and his nostrils were flared. "Love? You don't know what you're talking about."
"If you give me a chance to–"
"Go home, I told you." he said. "There's no chance of that, or anything else, I don't want anything to do with someone like you, understand? Don't bother me anymore."
Then he went back inside and slammed the door in your face.
You knew very early and came home very late to avoid laying eyes on Joel. Maybe she shouldn't have ignored the warnings about him after all, but he was still present in your heart. You shoved the card deep into your dresser, you were embarrassed to look at it now.
Ironically, now that you wanted to be more busy you had less work, winter had arrived and the ground was frozen, so the garden was at a standstill. So you dedicated yourself to the horses and cleaning the mess hall, returning home at almost the same time as always.
You hadn't told Emily what you were going to do and you hadn't told her about the rejection either, she was going to throw it in your face that she had warned you. You felt so stupid now, how could you have thought you had a chance? So much self-esteem.
The days passed quickly and you were thankful for that, but it wasn't like you forgot what happened. Your first interaction with Joel since the incident was when you were cleaning the cafeteria to close, it was already dark and it was practically empty. Mopping the floor repeatedly and sighing every now and then, you didn't see him walk through the large doors.
"Are you guys finishing early?" the thick Texan accent spoke from behind you and you froze momentarily, then turned to him with an effort of blank expression.
"This week, yes, we are down one person." you replied and went back to mopping the floor.
"Okay, thanks." he seemed to hesitate for a moment before walking outside again, and you let out a sharp breath.
The universe seemed to make fun of you and a few days later you had your next interaction with Joel.
Someone covered you in cleaning the cafeteria, so you used the free time to try to fix the rotten steps on your porch. As you repeatedly hammered the nails into place, you felt a poke on your shoulder and stopped your movements, feeling your stomach turn in knots when you saw Joel behind you.
"Can I help you?" you asked, standing up and brushing the snow and dirt off your knees.
"Do you realize it's already night? I need to go out on patrol tomorrow and you're making too much noise." he said rudely.
"Right. I'm sorry." You turned around and started picking up the tools you used, holding them against your chest and seeing the best way to climb without falling.
You had only fixed one of the steps, the one closest to the ground, so you climbed up on it and stretched your leg to try to climb over the others, but the new step wasn't securely fastened and you slipped, letting out a pathetic little scream.
You heard footsteps approaching and his arms lifting you off the ground quickly.
"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Joel's deep voice asked and you glanced at him sideways.
"I'm fine, thank you." you replied and saw him come closer to rest his hand on the small of your back. "Don't touch me." you exclaimed.
"I just wanted to see if you were hurt." he took a few steps back, looking embarrassed.
"I am well, thank you." you responded quickly and walked away from him, picking up the materials you used earlier again.
You balanced yourself and took a little jump to the porch, entered and closed the door.
my troubled wife 🤍🙏
Ambessa x f!reader
Summary: Recently, Piltover has fallen weak ever since the hexcore stopped working, and the scientists who may have been able to fix it (Heimerdinger, Jayce, Viktor) had disappeared, leaving Ambessa frustrated. However, when she heard news of you, an intelligent scientist, possibly having the skills to fix it, she immediately took action. Even if it meant using a hint of sweet manipulation.
The remnants of Piltover smoldered under the weight of its own hubris. The once-bustling City of Progress was a shadow of itself, its streets quieter, its golden spires tarnished. The Hexcore had faltered, leaving the city vulnerable, its famed defenses useless.
In her laboratory perched high above the city, you worked tirelessly. The other brilliant minds—Heimerdinger, Jayce, Viktor—had all disappeared, leaving you to hold the fort. You were the last hope of Piltover, though the burden had grown suffocating. Every attempt to stabilize the Hexcore had failed. You stared at the latest iteration of your work, frustration and exhaustion gnawing at your edges.
The heavy thud of boots startled you from your thoughts. You turned to see soldiers, clad in Noxian red and black, entering your lab. At their helm was her. Ambessa Medarda, the warlord who cast a shadow wherever she walked. She was as commanding as the stories claimed—tall, statuesque, and radiating an aura of power that seemed to fill every inch of your lab.
She appraised you with sharp, calculating eyes, a faint smirk tugging at her lips.
“I’ve been watching you,” she said, her voice as smooth as silk but edged with steel. “Piltover’s lone genius. Working herself into the ground to save this broken city.”
You squared your shoulders, attempting to summon the confidence that exhaustion had stripped away. “If you’ve come to ridicule me, I assure you, I don’t have the time.”
“Oh, I didn’t come to mock you,” she said, stepping closer. Her soldiers fanned out, blocking any potential escape routes. “I came because Piltover’s failures can serve Noxus. You can serve Noxus.”
Your blood chilled. “I don’t serve anyone.”
Ambessa chuckled, low and amused. “Not yet.” She closed the distance between you in a few strides, her imposing figure towering over yours. “But you will.”
Before you could retort, she reached out, her gloved hand brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. The touch was startlingly gentle, disarming. You stiffened, but Ambessa merely tilted her head, her gaze softening, her smile turning warmer.
“You’re exhausted,” she murmured, her tone shifting to something softer, almost tender. “This city doesn’t deserve you. They’ve wrung you dry, haven’t they? And still, no thanks. No progress.”
Her words hit a nerve, and she saw it in the flicker of your expression.
“I—” you began, but her fingers against your jaw silenced you.
“You deserve better,” she said, her voice a near whisper now. Her thumb traced the line of your jaw, her touch featherlight. “A mind like yours shouldn’t be wasted on people who only know how to take. I can offer you more, darling. Resources. Freedom. Respect.”
You swallowed hard, the weight of her gaze pinning you in place. It was intoxicating, the way she looked at you—not with disdain or pity, but with something that felt dangerously like admiration.
“You just want to use me,” you said, though the words came out weaker than intended.
Ambessa smiled, a sly curve of her lips. “Of course, I do. But I’ll give you what Piltover never could. I’ll make you feel like the treasure you are.”
Her hand slid from your jaw to your neck, her thumb brushing over your pulse. You were hyper-aware of her closeness, the warmth radiating from her as she leaned in. Her lips grazed the corner of your mouth, a ghost of a kiss, before trailing along your cheek to your ear.
“Do you feel it?” she murmured, her breath warm against your skin. “The power we could wield together?”
You shivered despite yourself, torn between resistance and the allure of her promises. She was weaving a net around you, each touch, each word drawing you tighter.
Her hand slid down to your shoulder, her fingers kneading gently, soothing the tension that had built from days—no, weeks—of relentless pressure. You hated how easily she read you, how her touch seemed to draw out the ache you’d buried beneath sheer determination.
“I don’t… I can’t just abandon Piltover,” you stammered, though the conviction in your voice wavered.
Ambessa chuckled, a rich, velvety sound that sent a shiver down your spine. She pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, her expression equal parts understanding and predatory.
“Who said anything about abandoning them?” she cooed, tracing her fingers along the edge of your collarbone. “Think of it as… redirecting your efforts. Piltover has taken everything from you. Why not take something back?”
Her lips ghosted over your temple, and you felt a strange, heady mix of indignation and desire. Every instinct screamed to resist, to fight back against her intoxicating manipulation. But her words had rooted themselves in your mind, growing like thorns around your resolve.
She pressed closer, her presence overwhelming as her other hand cupped your cheek. Her thumb brushed over your skin with a tenderness that contradicted the raw power she emanated.
“I see the brilliance in you,” she murmured. “The kind of brilliance that could reshape the world. But brilliance needs the right soil to grow, and Piltover has done nothing but starve you.”
Her lips found your jawline, a soft, lingering kiss that left your heart pounding. You hated how your breath hitched, how her words sank deeper, wrapping themselves around your doubts and frustrations like a vice.
“I could give you everything,” she whispered, her voice dripping with promise. “Imagine a lab equipped with anything you could dream of. Resources, soldiers to protect you, and the freedom to create without petty councils and politics dragging you down.”
You hesitated, your mind a whirlwind. “And what would you demand in return?”
Ambessa leaned back just enough to meet your gaze, her smirk sharp but her eyes still softened with that feigned tenderness. “Only your cooperation. Your brilliance, dedicated to something greater than this dying city.” Her hand slid down your arm, fingers curling gently around your wrist. “And, of course, you—with all your fire and passion. A partner. An ally.”
Her lips found your wrist, pressing a kiss to the delicate skin there. It was such an intimate gesture that it left you reeling.
“You’re lying,” you whispered, though your voice lacked conviction.
Ambessa smiled again, her confidence unshaken. “I never lie, darling. I may manipulate, I may seduce, but I always tell the truth.” She lifted your hand to her lips, brushing another kiss over your knuckles. “You’ll see. The only chains you’ll wear with me are the ones you choose.”
You trembled, torn between the iron will you’d cultivated in solitude and the dangerous allure of her promises. Her every touch, every word, was carefully calculated, but there was a kernel of sincerity in her eyes that was impossible to ignore.
And then, her tone shifted, low and husky, her lips brushing against your ear. “Or you can stay here,” she murmured, her voice laced with a mockery so subtle it felt like silk slipping over a blade. “Alone. Frustrated. Watching this city crumble around you while you waste away in obscurity.”
The weight of her words settled over you like a storm cloud. The enormity of your failure, the futility of your work, pressed down harder than ever.
Ambessa saw the flicker of doubt in your eyes and leaned in, her lips brushing over your cheek again, her hands sliding to your waist. “Don’t think of it as surrender,” she whispered. “Think of it as liberation.”
Her lips finally found yours, soft and coaxing, her hands firm yet tender as they held you in place. For a moment, the world around you faded, leaving only the intoxicating warmth of her touch, the relentless pull of her presence.
When she finally pulled back, her smirk returned, triumphant but still laced with that maddening, feigned care.
“Take your time,” she said, stepping away as if to give you the illusion of choice. “But know this—I won’t wait forever. And neither will Piltover.”
She turned, her soldiers falling into step behind her, and the door shut with an ominous finality, leaving you alone in the silence of your lab.
Your knees buckled as you leaned against the nearest table, your mind spinning. You hated her, hated how easily she unraveled you. But you couldn’t deny the truth in her words.
And deep down, you wondered if the world Ambessa promised might be worth the price of your pride.
The silence of your lab was suffocating in the wake of her departure. You stood there, still trembling, your hand resting against the edge of your desk as if it might hold you together. You could still feel her touch, lingering like a brand on your skin, a reminder of the impossible decision she had presented.
Stay… or go?
You hadn’t realized how much you had needed an escape, how desperately you had longed for someone to see you beyond your failures. Ambessa had touched that part of you with ruthless precision. She had peeled away your pride, exposed the vulnerability that you’d spent so long burying beneath equations and inventions.
And now, you stood at the precipice of something you had once sworn to avoid.
The thought of continuing alone in Piltover, watching everything you had worked for crumble—your research, your hopes—seemed unbearable. The weight of it all crashed down on you like a ton of stone. Ambessa’s words, laced with promises of power, resources, and recognition, were beginning to sound like the only way out.
You closed your eyes, feeling your resolve slip through your fingers like sand.
Her touch had been gentle. Too gentle, and that had terrified you. She was a master at breaking down walls, and the way she had looked at you, with a mixture of admiration and something darker, had set your pulse racing. You had wanted her to touch you.
No, you needed her to touch you.
No more endless days in solitude. No more futile attempts at saving a city that didn’t care.
With a shaky breath, you made your decision.
Later that night, you stood before the door to Ambessa’s private quarters, your hands clammy, heart hammering. You’d walked here with purpose, though the journey had felt like an eternity. Every step had only brought you closer to the inevitable—an alliance forged in the heat of desperation. You knocked once, and the door opened before you could even pull your hand back.
Ambessa stood there, her expression unreadable as her eyes traveled over you.
“You’ve come.” Her voice was steady, but there was a gleam in her eyes that hinted at the satisfaction of a predator about to claim its prize.
You swallowed hard, the weight of the moment pressing down on you, but you refused to let it show. “I’m here,” you said, your voice firmer than you felt, “because I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
Ambessa stepped aside, her lips curling into a smile. “I knew you would come around.”
As you entered, the lavish, dimly lit room seemed almost too luxurious for someone like you, but there was something intoxicating about it. The rich silks, the scent of something sweet and foreign in the air—everything spoke of power and control, the very things you had been so desperate to grasp.
Ambessa closed the door behind you with a soft click, and then she turned to face you, her eyes now intense with anticipation. “Tell me, darling… what is it you truly desire?” she asked, her voice low and coaxing.
You hesitated, but only for a second. Then the truth spilled from your lips. “I want to be… seen.”
Ambessa stepped toward you, a predatory smile playing on her lips. “Oh, I see you,” she purred. “I see you more clearly than anyone ever has.” She reached out, her fingers grazing your cheek with deliberate slowness, as though savoring the moment. “And now, I’ll make sure you’re never unseen again.”
She cupped your face gently, tilting your chin upward, and her gaze softened, as though she were savoring the power of the moment. “You were always meant for something greater than this city. But you needed a catalyst… someone to help you realize your true potential.”
Her touch was almost tender, but the undercurrent of control never left. She leaned in, her lips brushing your forehead with a softness that contrasted the fire in her eyes.
“I can give you everything,” she whispered, her voice filled with honeyed persuasion. “All you have to do is take my hand.”
A heat bloomed in your chest, rising to your cheeks, but it wasn’t embarrassment—it was the burning spark of surrender. Every part of you that had been torn between resistance and the seductive pull of her power now bent toward the inevitable.
You nodded, the words tumbling out in a quiet confession, “I’ll follow you.”
Ambessa’s lips curled into a triumphant, almost possessive smile. “Good.” She leaned in, her mouth capturing yours in a kiss that was both commanding and consuming. It was gentle at first, a slow burn that deepened with every press of her lips, every brush of her tongue. She held you with an intensity that made your knees weak, her hands roaming with practiced care, tracing your sides, your back, pulling you closer until you could feel the heat of her body against yours.
When she pulled back, breathless but satisfied, her fingers trailed down your spine, sending shivers of anticipation through you. “You belong to me now,” she said softly, her voice wrapped in a possessive sweetness. “And I’ll make sure you never regret it.”
You trembled, feeling the weight of her words settle over you, and for the first time in a long while, you realized you didn’t mind. You were hers. Completely.
In her arms, under her gaze, you were no longer the scientist who had failed. You were a tool—her tool—ready to be shaped and molded into something greater, something powerful. You had agreed, out of weakness, yes—but in that weakness, you had found something that felt like freedom.
And as Ambessa’s lips met your skin once more, tracing the delicate curve of your jaw, you wondered if this, this was what it meant to truly be seen.
It's like a fever, I'm burning alive
Rhaenyra Targaryen x fem!reader
Summary: You discover that Rhaenyra went to King's Landing and things don't go well.
Word Count: 1,3K
Warning: ANGST, mentions of war, mentions of deaths, mentions of betrayal, mentions of child deaths, power imbalance, brief sex, nipple sucking, lesbian sex.
note: this story is new and is also available on my AO3.
ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.
You hurriedly walked through the halls, holding the skirt of your simple dress. Your heart was pounding harder and harder and your anxiety didn't lessen when you saw one of the doors to the Queen's chambers in Dragonstone. Giving a nod of complicity to the royal guard, you opened the heavy door and looked around restlessly, looking for any sign of silver hair, but in vain, the place was empty.
Placing your hands over your chest to try and calm the pounding of your heart, you began to pace from side to side, your vision becoming blurred by the tears that began to appear. This couldn't be happening, she couldn't have been so foolish to consider doing something like that.
She went to King's Landing. Accompanied only by a guard.
The information came from Elinda and you still couldn't believe what your Queen had done. She was not the type to take risks without any reason, she made wise and coherent decisions.
You waited for hours, sitting in a place on the floor where you could hardly be seen if the main door to the rooms opened, it got dark and you only realized it when you heard the sound of the door opening. You stood up abruptly to see who it was and sighed in relief when you saw that it was your beloved queen.
Bowing slightly and approached hesitantly, your eyes passing anxiously and desperately over her entire figure, looking for any injuries, the ones she received when Ser Arryk invaded her rooms in a cowardly attack were enough. She looked at you in a mixture of surprise and relief to see you there, as if your presence was a medicine. You frowned when you noticed the septa robes she was wearing.
"Did you really do what I was told you did?" you asked, the knot in your stomach growing with each word that left your mouth. "Did you go see that snake in King's Landing?"
"I needed to talk to Alicent about the latest events, clarify things." She walked across the large room and began taking off her clothes, throwing them on top of one of the dark wooden chairs.
"To clarify?" you asked, the situation sounding unbelievable to your ears. "And what is there to clarify? She took your throne to give to her son."
"Her grandson was murdered in his bed while he slept and she thought I had ordered such a transgression." She was left with just her thin cloth intimate dress, turned to you and held her hands in front of her, twirling her wedding ring nervously. "I couldn't be at peace if–"
"Peace?!" You widen your eyes slightly, in disbelief. "I was there, Rhaenyra, I saw the procession. She was sitting as she was paraded with the corpse of her grandson, do you know what one of the court members said? They called you cruel, a monster, a defiler of the innocent. There is no peace anymore."
She sighed and sat down on the dark lounge chair, turned her face toward the large fireplace and fell silent.
"Her other son murdered your son, Lucerys was a messenger, this is treason." you keep talking. "Don't you understand yet? It's only you who cares, she doesn't care. Aegon doesn't care."
"I made a promise to my father and I intend to keep it, I will not rule with unnecessary killings and deaths." she finally turned to face you again. "Both the Dowager Queen and I have lost loved ones in recent weeks. I thought we could come together in our grief."
You sighed to contain your rising anger. Rhaenyra was too complacent, the greens wouldn't stop until they had her head to govern without her interference and she still didn't see that.
"You could have been killed." you take a few steps and lean on the wooden back of one of the chairs.
"I was careful and took one of the guards with me, no one knew it was me." she kept her purple eyes sharp in your direction.
"You must think you're so smart, but you were just a fool." you found yourself saying. "A fool who clings to the past, a past with a person who was never your friend."
"It is not foolish to seek all ways to peace!" She raises her voice, a few veins poking out slightly on her neck. "Understand me, you know me as well as I know you, don't be gratuitously hostile."
"If you act like a fool then I'll treat you like one!" you raised your voice too, gripping the wood tightly. "The people of King's Landing believe you are a baby killer, they would dismember you if they knew you were there!"
"I'm still your queen, remember that." she spat.
You felt a violent knot in your stomach and took a few steps back, lowering your head, swallowing hard and clasping your hands humbly in front of your body.
"May I go now, Your Grace?" you asked, eyes fixed on the stone floor.
"No." she replied and got up from the lounger, walking in long strides towards you.
She stopped inches from touching your body completely and pulled your hands into hers, they were warm and welcoming, as always. Rhaenyra leans in and rubs the side of her face against yours, her aquiline nose caressing your cheek, you closed your eyes and leaned against her.
"Stand by my side, I have enough people disagreeing with me, all the time." she pulled back and looked at you closely. "I don't want to have arguments with you either."
You looked down at your joined hands, the symbol of your bond with Rhaenyra. You had been by her side for so many years, you didn't want your close relationship to be ruined. You were afraid of losing her in this horrendous war, the constant search for peace could kill her.
"I got scared." You admitted, eyes still fixed on your clasped hands. "I came running as soon as Elinda told me, I was hoping you hadn't done such a thing."
"If I make a decision in the future that is risky, I will have the decency to ask you what you think first." She said and you looked up, locking your eyes with hers.
"No need to do that, Your Grace." you caress her slender fingers. "Seek peace, if that is what torments you, but do not perish along the way."
She nodded slightly and kept her eyes fixed on your face, smiled slightly and tilted her face even closer to yours.
"I miss you so much, you haven't been here often." she says, voice turning velvety.
She didn't need to say anything else, you tilted your face up and pressed your lips against hers, your eager tongue invading your dragon queen's mouth in a hurry, you kissed your lover hungrily until she ran out of air, your desperate hands tracing the slim curves beneath the almost transparent nightgown. Your mouth didn't stop when you pulled away for air, you continued trailing kisses across her face, down to her neck.
You bit and kissed her milky skin neck, and continued moving down until you reached her favorite part, but she pulled away and you looked at her in confusion.
"Not standing, to bed." she said breathlessly and you hurriedly pulled her towards the bed, laid her down and leaned on your elbows on top of her.
Rhaenyra took the straps of her nightgown off her shoulders, exposing her breasts to you. She lay down completely and looked at you expectantly. You let out a soft moan as you saw your beloved queen expose herself to you.
You leaned forward and pulled her right breast into your mouth, then pinched her nipples with your lips, your tongue grazing against the sensitive, hard nipple. She couldn't help but whimper. She put her hands on the back of your head and pulled you into her chest.
You buried your face in her breasts, you could spend your whole life pleasuring your queen.
ARCANE MASTERLIST
And would you go ahead and just cry?
And would you go ahead and just cry?
I hope she never leaves me, please, God, you must believe me
I hope she never leaves me, please, God, you must believe me
Under The Influence (of Regret)
Sharp thoughts part 2
The uncertainty of coexistence