Me, Dragging My Ass Out Of Bed To Let The Cat In From Outside Where She Is Currently Making It Sound

I find it funny that people who live in the lower 48 are all like “bald eagles are so majestic and beautiful, symbols of our nation” whereas up here in Alaska, we talk about them almost like people talk about raccoons or opossums

Like “yeah you can usually see a minimum of 6 or 7 around the dump area because they like to hang out there all day and eat garbage”

Symbols of our nation though they may be, they are still trash-eating birds

Nimona spoilers!!!

Aight listen. I’m aro ace. Not even a little bit attracted to men. Never have been, never will be.

But.

If Ballister Boldheart looked at me like THIS???

I would fold in HALF. I’d cave in SECONDS. I’d give this man the whole fucking WORLD.

And he’s not even *my* boyfriend.

Ambrosius. What the fuck.

What the fuck Ambrosius???

You’re telling me that the LOVE of your LIFE looks at you like THIS

AND YOU REALLY STILL THINK THAT HES A MURDERER???!?!???????

BOY ARE YOU BLIND

Anyway that is all

kinda miss sitting in restaurants with my friends loudly having what is clearly the weirdest conversation the couple two tables over has heard all week and pretending not to notice them chuckle at my jokes but making sure to throw in enough exposition to give them context if they’re still listening

Me finding a Giant Motherfucking Spider™️ in the bathroom and deliberately leaving it alone so that my wuss siblings might find it later and pay me to kill it for them

It’s a beautiful morning, guys, gals, and nb pals, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, the Cheeto is out of office, hallelujah everybody

THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING

This movie can't be fr

I can’t believe people are mad about a 16-year-old girl wanting the earth to get better