The Signs According To My 5 Year Old Cousin

the signs as 2015 memes

aries// - hoe don’t do it - JOHN CENA

taurus// - miss universe - *smudged writing on hand*

gemini// - why you always lyin’ - the dress

cancer// - Pepe the frog - Rickroll meme

leo// - bitch where? - IM ALWAYS A SLUT FOR DORITOS

virgo// - breadsticks - Miranda and Purranda

libra// - what are those? - you’ve heard of x now get ready for y

scorpio// - Netflix and Chill - good shit

sagittarius// - poot lovato - Miley, what’s good?

capricorn// - not ALL men - Taylor Swift copyright

aquarius// - brain: you gotta - i didn’t get no sleep because of y'all

pisces// - left shark - okay… that sounds fake but okay….

too rad to be sad: virgo, aries, sagittarius, aquarius

too glam to give a damn: leo, libra, scorpio, capricorn

too blessed to stress: taurus, cancer, pisces, gemini

the signs working in starbucks

aries: I love my job I get to see so many new people and it's just terrific man you know *accidentally drops drink* gODDAMN F#€@%+€&!!!

taurus: hey guys you ok? looks like you need some extra help? lmao sorry I'm done for the day SMELL YA LATER

gemini: hey sweet cheeks wanna buy me a drink after work I get off at 4 ;) ;) ;)

cancer: hi!! how are you?? that's good!! haha oh right what do you want to order?

leo: adding a shot of caffeine in there you really look like you need it know what I mean lmao

virgo: AIGHT WE GOT FOUTRY THREE SECONDS TO MAKE A VENTI VANILLA LATTE LETS GO TEAM

libra: hey hey hey you want a what? a latte? well imma put an extra shot of syrup because you're SWEET HAHA GET IT

scorpio: can we please serve these people asap so I can go home I'm watching avengers tonight

sagittarius: *the one guy who makes really intense eye contact with all the customers*

capricorn: whoa I really like your shirt!! is that *band*?? omg I LOVE them we should hang out some time hmu man hmu

aquarius: yo the stars say you should get a venti cappuccino today

instead of a small u feel

pisces: uhhhhh wait sorry can you repeat the order please?

FALASTIN NEEDS YOUR HELP!

Hello everyone, Falastin has asked me to make a post for her.

Falastin has been trying to raise funds for her 26 family members for over 6 months but hasn't been able to reach her goal. Her family is trapped in Gaza, one of them has been injured by shrapnel from an explosion. These are people who are desperate for just a little bit of relief.

FALASTIN IS VETTED BY 90-GHOST, El-SHAB-HUSSEIN (#282), AND THE BUTTERFLY PROJECT (957). YOU CAN DONATE TO HER CAMPAIGN HERE.

As of right now, Falastin has raised kr196,548 SEK out of her goal of kr1,000,000 SEK. kr54.66 SEK = $5, kr109.32 SEK = $10. Sharing this fundraiser and donating, no matter the amount, will help Falastin reach her goal and work to keep her family safe. Can you share this post, and donate a bit to save lives?

The signs studying

Aries: Takes breaks a lot but finds it kinda easy to get back to being focused

Taurus: Listens to music while they study 

Gemini: Is either in the zone or just can’t even function 

Cancer: Studies last minute and has to have neat pages

Leo: Studies for a bit then goes on the internet 

Virgo: Has to have a neat environment or they can’t focus 

Libra: Internally stressed out because they think they aren’t going to remember anything 

Scorpio: Has to have really neat handwriting so they can remember their notes

Sagittarius: Studies for like two minutes then says fuck it 

Capricorn: Studies really well when they want to, when they don’t they fuck around into oblivion 

Aquarius: Uses colour coding to make themselves remember things 

Pisces: Has to read over everything a million times because they drift off into something more interesting

ladybug visits the class to talk about city safety and poses for a photo with a couple of lucky students ~ -x

australians: gun control worked here

white american male: source???

australians: we are still alive

The signs as inspirational life mottos

aries: fuck the fucking fuckers before the fucking fuckers fuck you.

taurus: I just don't want to look back and think "I could have eaten that".

gemini: don't do meth, do math. it'll fuck you up twice as much.

cancer: never put off til tomorrow what you can straight up cancel.

leo: don't let anyone with bad eyebrows tell you shit about life.

virgo: why say something in 10 words when you can say it in 1000.

libra: everything happens for a reason. but sometimes the reason is that you're stupid and make bad decisions.

scorpio: why wrestle your demons when you can use them to kill your enemies.

sagittarius: if no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it then how bad of a decision can it really be.

capricorn: sarcasm, because beating the shit out of people is illegal.

aquarius: maturity is like a light switch. you only turn it on when needed.

pisces: today i will live in the moment unless it's unpleasant in which case i will eat a cookie.