Broken Heart

Broken heart

Summary: Reader is heartbroken after Hannah gives him an ultimatum: her or the reader.

Warning: Angst, heartbreak etc

You walked through the bunker quietly not wanting to be noticed. You and Castiel had been together up until Hannah had given him an ultimatum. She forced him to choose between the two of you and to your dismay, he had chosen to be with Hannah. After they had left, you had broken down for the first time and the last time in front of both Winchesters who immediately rushed to comfort you. They were furious at Cas and how he hurt you but there wasn’t much they could do about it. All they could do was be there for you when you were ready.

Castiel still came by occasionally but during these times you would leave the room, not wanting to be anywhere near him. As the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned to months you found yourself slowly changing. You no longer cared about taking care of yourself. That wasn’t to say you didn’t bathe or take care of personal hygiene because you did. But you barely ate, barely talked, dark circles appeared under your eyes from where you weren’t getting enough sleep. Your skin was turning pale. You knew the brothers were worried but you didn’t care. You were too hurt and you didn’t want to talk to them. You made your way to the kitchen and thought of making something to eat but you couldn’t muster up the will to care so you left it and went to lay down on the couch.

Your back was to the door so you failed to notice when Castiel walked into the room. The Angel stopped when he noticed you lying on the couch. He wanted to say something but didn’t have the courage to do so. He was a coward and he knew it. He would rather stay silent than face it head on. He waited to see what you would do. He noticed how you would walk out of the room whenever he showed up or point blank ignored his existence, but you didn’t move from the couch. He wondered how you were doing but wasn’t brave enough to talk to you after he hurt you. He stayed there watching you for a few more moments before leaving to go back to Hannah. You never knew he was there.

The next time he appeared in the same room as you, worry and concern began to fill his vessel. You looked worse than the last time he saw you. He could see you had lost weight simply because you didn’t care anymore. Your hair hung lifelessly down your back and your skin was a horrible sickly colour.  Even the colour of your lips were different, he noted. He missed the smile on your face that somehow managed to light up the whole room. As soon as you noticed him you wordlessly jumped down from the kitchen counter where you and the boys were and walked out of the room. As soon as you left, they turned to Cas with angry expressions on their faces. “What, Cas?”

Castiel sighed. “There are Demons hiding out in a warehouse. They need to be destroyed.”

“Can’t you do it yourself?” Dean asked snarkily. He couldn’t help it. You were like a sister to him and now you were hurting all because of him and another Angel. Castiel sighed again. He could…..but he just wanted to see his friends again. He knew he’d hurt them by hurting you. He knew they were angry with him. A pang of sorrow hit him as he thought of the pain he’d caused you. Ever since he’d chosen Hannah, they had been together. He loved her, of course he did…..didn’t he? So then why did it feel so wrong?  Why did he feel like something was missing? He said nothing as they stared at each other. “Fine,” Dean muttered under his breath. “What warehouse? How many Demons?”

“I’m not sure how many. The warehouse by St. James Street.” They nodded and went to pack their weapons. Castiel watched quietly. “What about Y/N? Is she coming?”

They froze. “No. She’s not,” Dean snapped.

“Dean-” Sam started.

Dean rounded on Sam angrily. “No, are you kidding me? No! He dumps her for some useless fucking Angel and NOW he’s acting like he cares about Y/N?”

Hurt filled Castiel’s eyes. Is that what they really thought of him? Is that what you thought? That he didn’t care about you? He could feel his heart breaking at the thought. They were wrong. So wrong. He DID care about you. “Dean-”

Dean pointed a finger at him and gave him a harsh glare. “Don’t,” he warned. “Just don’t bother. You made your choice and personally, I think she’s better off without you.”

His words cut through Castiel’s heart but he tried not to show it. He shot one last pitiful glance in the direction you had gone before they left.

You left your room just as they came back. At first, Dean had protested against Castiel coming back with them but eventually relented. They all stopped in the doorway and held their breathes as you reached out to pick up an apple. “Y/N?” Sam called out tentively. Your head moved to look in his direction but you didn’t say a word. “Are you hungry? I could make you something to eat?” They didn’t hold much hope so they were both stunned and a little excited when you wordlessly sat down at the table, your gaze on him.

Dean grabbed Sam’s arm and leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Dude, she’s actually willing to eat. Make her something and quick before she changes her mind. I’ll keep her talking.” Sam nodded and made his way to the kitchen while Dean sat at the table across from you. Castiel hesitated but shuffled forward. His heart shattered when you stood up to leave but Dean grabbed you before you could. “No. Sit. Ignore him if you have to but stay here. I miss talking to you and Sam’s making you something to eat.”

You said nothing but did as he asked but refused to even look in Castiel’s direction. Now that he had the opportunity, he observed you carefully. Your eyes were dull and sunken, your skin was a sickly colour making you look like you were ill. You had lost weight and it was showing. There was no smile on your face and you stayed silent. Castiel couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard your voice. He wished you would say something - anything, even if it was to tell him to leave but you didn’t. You just ignored him which made him feel worse. He felt guilty for your pain but didn’t know how to get through to you. You refused to talk to him at all. And it hurt. You two had been together before the ultimatum so he could only imagine how you were feeling. He wanted to reach out to you but didn’t dare.

Sam came back with a small plate of spaghetti and placed it in front of you. You slowly began to eat much to their happiness. When you were done, you rose silently and dumped the plate in the sink. You gave Sam a kiss on his cheek as a thank you and left without a single word.

Castiel’s POV

I appeared beside Dean and Sam and waited as they got ready. According to them, we were hunting Demons. Just as we were about to leave, Y/N walked around the corner. I held my breath and waited for her to leave the room once she caught sight of me and was stunned when she didn’t. I watched as she walked straight up to Dean and pointed to the door. Dean’s eyes darkened and he shook his head at her. “No. You’re not coming with us.” Y/N crossed her arms and held her ground. I wanted to say something but knew that wouldn’t end well. “Damn it, Y/N! You’re not well!”

Y/N shrugged but didn’t back down. Sam turned to Dean regretfully. “Dean, we don’t have time for this. We need to go now. She comes.”

Dean growled and stormed out of the room. “Fine.”

My hands clenched at the thought of Y/N hunting while sick. I didn’t want her to get hurt but I knew I didn’t have the right to protest against it. It wasn’t my place anymore. I lost that when I left her. Still, I couldn’t help but try to make amends and help her when I could, even if she no longer wanted it. I opened the car door for her and let her get in. During the ride, I watched her carefully as she stared out of the window. I felt the urge to pull her back into my arms and never let go again but I couldn’t do that to Hannah.

I just wished Y/N would talk to me.