I’m A Slow Reader, I Feel No Shame In Admitting That. It Takes Time To Appreciate The Words- I Want

practically every character in The Secret History played a role of someone that they were not.

richard and bunny played themselves as rich, when in fact they were poor.

charles and camilla played themselves as pure, when in fact they were weaved with immorality.

francis played himself as cool, when in fact he was an anxious mess.

henry played himself as intellectual, when in fact he was blinded by his own stupidity, wealth, and ego.

julian played himself as a father figure, aiding to the care and minds of the Greek students, when in fact he was conniving and egocentric, swept away by his own gain, unlike a true father.

mrs corcoran played herself as a victim and sorrowful mother of a lost child, when in fact she only cared about her own appearance in front of the camera.

hell, even dr roland played himself as a psychologically-forward man, deep in intellect, when in fact he was nearing dementia and a complete gobble of a man.

i mean, gosh, this theme plays out so grandly. putting up a front and hiding your real self. whether for gain or by self consciousness.

The true blasphemy of literature is the romanticization of romance. They make it beautiful—all soft words, and elegant lines—and enchanting, with magic sparkling in the margins.

And you can feel it in the depths of your soul, an unexplored ocean of laughter and tears and dreams all melded together.

The yearning of a kiss that brushes against the steady and so so warm pulsing beat of life—against the smooth skin of a lovers neck. The desperation to touch another being and feel that they’re alive, right there next to you—right there, and never leaving.

To love and be loved is a jewel among treasures and all that we each seek—all that we each desire.

It burns and it burns and it burns.

“I would know him in death, at the end of the world.”

“Come home and break my heart, if you must.”

“Occasionally, Fate pulls itself together again and Time is always waiting.”

“And perhaps it is the greatest grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone.”

“By you, I am forever undone.”

“One word from you shall silence me forever.”

“A heart’s a heavy burden.”

“My sweet nemesis.”

“If you have to go, you know I will go with you.”

and then?

and then.

The book is over.

And you remember that love like that doesn't exist.

Not in the real world.

And all you can do is cry.

Memory is a funny thing. When I was in the scene I hardly paid it any attention. I never stopped to think of it as something that would make a lasting impression, certainly never imagined that 18 years later I would recall it in such detail. I didn’t give a damn about the scenery that day. I was thinking about myself. I was thinking about the beautiful girl walking next to me. I was thinking about the two of us together, and then about myself again. I was at that age, that time of life when every sight, every feeling, every thought came back, like a boomerang, to me. And worse, I was in love. Love with complications. Scenery was the last thing on my mind.

- Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami

We are captives of what we love, what we desire and what we are

- Mahmoud Darwish

one day you think: I want to die. and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book. and I want to die turns day by day into want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun, I want a cleaner kitchen, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else. I want to live.

- via duckbunny

Most recent obsession: the Qala soundtrack

“It’s literally impossible to be a woman.

You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we're always doing it wrong?

You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you wanna be thin. You have to say you wanna be healthy, but also, you have to BE THIN.

You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.

You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.

You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.

You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time.

You have to be a career woman, but also, always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is INSANE, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining!

You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood, but ALWAYS STAND OUT and ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that but ALSO, always be grateful!

You have to never get old. Never be rude. Never show off. Never be selfish. Never fall down. Never fail. Never show fear. Never get OUT OF LINE. It's too hard! It's too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says 'thank you!' And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also, everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman tie herself into knots, so that people will like us.

And if all of that, is also true for a doll just representing a woman, then I don't even know." -Gloria the barbie movie

this is it. this is exactly it oh my god.

<3

starry nights, enemies to lovers, annotations, graffiti, mixtapes, art galleries, anklets, sunsets, heart-shaped lockets, bonfires, libraries, constellations, love letters, soft lighting, messy hair, ice cream parlours, misted windows, blueberries, full moons, dark clouds, red roses

Sometimes it feels like I've got a war in my mind / I wanna get off, but I keep riding the ride / I never really noticed that I had to decide / To play someone's game, or live my own life / And now I do / I wanna move / Out of the black (out of the black) / Into the blue (into the blue)

- Lana Del Rey

It is in the nature of human that we outgrow something. We outgrow the things or person we cherished the most in our lives. And we start outgrowing things from our childhood and this porcess continues till our death. You may sometimes feel an attachment to that person or thing but not like that.