I Told My Christian Friends About Me And My Qpr And It Didn’t Go Horribly. They Didn’t Even Say It

T-minus two days till hell, sorry I mean exams, start!

4 exams out of four blocks

Somebody will need to come and move my body by the end of the week so that I don’t shut down

The fact that I’m not diagnosed with autism fucking sucks. Like, many people have told me they think I have autism, including my therapist but because my mother will not even put me on the wait list for a diagnosis I won’t know for at least two years if I am autistic (probably more then two years). All because my mom doesn’t believe I’m autistic.

All because she doesn’t understand, I don’t get the support I need. The closest I get to feeing validated is my best friend saying that she is there for me and that she believes me. This is hard.

I need help to function properly but no one will help me. I can’t do so many things that people my age should be able to. I can’t get my license because I’m too scared to drive alone because I zone out a lot and don’t think I could process everything. But my dad keeps pressing me to get it.

I can’t do everything all the time. I am supposed to swim for 2 hours four days a week but I can’t do that. I have to lie to my mom and tell her I’m sick so I can stay home because she doesn’t let me take mental health days ever.

I can’t have a social life because I can’t hang out with anyone for more then 30 minutes except my QPP.

I don’t understand social situations so when I try to understand and make a mistake people get mad at me.

I need help with taking care of myself because it’s to much for me to do alone but my mom isn’t willing to help.

My mom refuses to keep my comfort foods in the house because I “eat them to fast”

No one believes me when I tell them my problems. At school it’s because I have good grades. My mom doesn’t believe me because I “ function well.”

I’m always tired because I have to mask so often around my family so they don’t say I’m faking it

And worst of all is that despite all of that and more, I might not even be autistic. If I’m not autistic what’s wrong with me?

Do any other people LOVE gifs way to much but are WAY to embarrassed to use them. Ever.

Like I love gifs but I am way too scared to use them because I don’t know when it’s ok to!

Any other aromantic people love reading romantic fan fiction but if a novel has romance it better also have something else going for it?

Like I live for fan fiction. I’ll read anything that involves my favourite characters but I will never read a romance novel. It needs to just be a side dish.

Like fantasy with a side of romance

Or dystopian with a small romance

happy Thursday the 20th

Tw: rant

I love people who try to comfort me when I’m dysphoric but saying shit like you’ll be on t soon or at least you are almost able to get top surgery is not very helpful. Or when people say that once I’m on t it will be better.

I have gender dysphoria, lots of the stuff I’m dysphoric about won’t be fixed when I go on t. Being on t won’t change my interest, being on t won’t change that I’m hyper verbal. Being on t won’t change the size of my hands or my feet

Being on t won’t change that all my friends are either gay or women.

Does any of this stuff make sense to make me dysphoric, no, but it does and saying that going on t will solve the problem is wrong.

Me and bestie!?!?

A QPR!!!!!

SO SLAY!!!!

@grey-loves-dragons

I HAVE GROWING PAINS BUT IM NOT FUCKING GROWING

This is a scam

1 rose has a carbon emissions of 1.8. One banana has a carbon emissions of 0.11.

Don’t buy roses, BUY BANANAS!!!!

I actually hate how my aunts talk about autism not because I think they are wrong in any way but just because it makes me feel useless.

My aunt always talks about the “quirky” part of autism (I know that isn’t the right word but I can’t think of anything else)

Like once my aunt was saying her wanting her wedding day on one of a couple days she had in mind was because of autism but in reality she just likes numbers that sound good

Or they are talking about crochet and knitting and how executive dysfunction makes it hard but executive dysfunction means I can’t get out of bed in the morning and can’t eat food at all some days.

It’s so hard knowing that my mom doesn’t believe me and she sees me everyday and I actively don’t mask but she believes that my aunt has autism and only sees her at most once a week and my aunt shows a lot less “signs” then I do at home

I don’t know if this is a shitty thing to post so if it is please tell me