Hopes

[What’s the rush?]

Months spent, years lost

several ages of humankind,

Turned to dust.

Searching the meaning

In meaninglessness

Seeking the purpose

In pointless existence.

In the grand universe

Though a tiny particle

Striving to leave a mark

On the earth's chronicle

That's Its own way

of attaining immortality

Conquering the fear of death

And Converging to eternity

But shortsighted as you are,

Didn't stop to think

That writing on the sand

Could be erased in a blink

Could be that your life,

Is one beautiful accident

You shine for a moment,

You exist, and that is the point.

The cage I live in

I'm tired of holding it together,

All these threads that bind me as whole.

I'm tired of pretending I'm fine,

being an imposter in my own skin,

Smiling when I feel like crying.

While my insides are screaming,

To ask for help? To be left alone?

I don't know....

But I muffle it with the silence.

Not wanting others to know.

When all I want is to let go,

Let it break apart and shatter.

Why must I be trapped in this charade?

Can i be free?

Or is it just the price of being born?

The gift of life as you call it,

Is it a penance I must endure?

What if I can't take it anymore?

Like a volcano before eruptions,

It wobbles my sanity with those tremors,

Threatening to crack the surface.

But how long can I repress it?

One day the surface will break,

Bleeding me with a colourless blood

Flaming me from the inside

Untill what's left is only ash.

I wish it'll come sooner,

freeing me from the cage I live in.

My love,

Come and get me

When I loose myself to my mind

Be my anchor

When the lines of sanity blurs

Listen to the silence

As you're the only one who knows the language

Never let me sink into the void

Colour red

You think you can tame me

Just because this pendent of your name

Is hanging from my neck

You think I wouldn't cross the threshold

Just because the sound of my anklets

Are more loyal to you

You think my identity belongs to you

Just because the bangles I wear

Is marked by your name

You think I would obey you

As the commands of those Gods

Just because you coloured me red.

Alive

I felt each breath seeping into my lungs.

I felt each ray of sunshine that touched my skin.

I felt every gust of wind that blew past me.

I felt all those emotions hidden in my heart.

The sorrows, the love, the dreams and the hope.

I felt the time that ticked by and I didn't care.

I felt my heart beating to it's own rhythm.

I felt the silence telling me something.

Telling me that I'm alive.

And I believed it.

Not Mine❤️

Maybe you weren't the one for me

Maybe we weren't meant to be

But somewhere along the way

You have become a part of me

In those fickle dreams of my teenhood

In the last pages of my notebooks

In the music collection on my first iPod

There still exists a part of you

In that briefest moment of eye contact

And the goofy smile that sped up my heart

In those infinite seconds, you gave me

The simplest form of joy life could impart

I agree, you weren't meant to be mine

But in my soul, you still left an imprint

Those moments when...

I've learned to live alone

And loneliness doesn't get to me anymore,

Except in those moments....

When I wake up in the middle of the night

And find the space on my right

Empty and cold...

When I'm going to work

And on the way pass the abandoned factory

Where we used to sneak up as kids...

When I'm frustrated at the world

Or confused what to do

And my first thought is to call you....

When I'm laughing hysterically

And I suddenly stop the moment

Because you're not here to share it with me...

When people tell me their plans for the night

And I think about my home

And the silence waiting there to greet me....

When I'm lost in my thoughts

And subconsciously call out your name

And no one is there to answer me back.....

When I see a shooting star

And I wonder in silence

If you're still wishing on them

Or have you stopped believing in wishes?

*****

( Hindi alert)

Akele rehna sikh liya maine,

Ab to tanhai se bhi ek rishta sa ban gaya hai.

Shibaye un lamhon main....

Jab adhi raat ko aankh khul jati hai

Aur tumhare jagah suni bistar meelti hai

Jab baton hi baton main tumhari yaad aa jati hai

Aur tumhare na hona ka ehsas chubhne lagta hai

Jab anjane main ye lab tumhare naam le lete hain

Aur jabab main inhen sirf sannata hi milta hai

Jab koi sabal pareshan karta hai

Aur jabab main tumhara naam yaad ata hai

Jab mandir main kabhi dua mangne jati hun

Aur har dua main tumhara hi naam hota hai

Aur jab kabhi bhi asman main

Ek toota hua tara dikhta hai

Main sochti hu,

Dunia ki kisi kone main

Kahin tum bhi ise dekhkar

Mujhe yaad to nahi karte?

Kya tum mujhe yaad karte bhi ho?

Dark magnetic beady eyes

With one gaze, they cage your soul

Cunning smile and a youthful face

Beautiful like the silver moon

She'd look back haughtily

Unduly proud of her beauty

“The moon has scars.”

She'd say, “While I have none.”

I wonder what she thinks now that I've left her scarred with my love.

[a better place]

I like it here

I like the tranquility

The soft glow of moon

And the hidden reality

I like the coolness of

Passing breeze on my skin

And the sound of leaves

Dancing along with it

I like the stars in this world

They don't mock me

Glancing down from their heaven

Here, they watch me

With a knowing smile

As if something good is to happen.

I like this place

I just don't know

How to hold onto it.