Mentally I'm A Little Pink Peg Person In The Game Of Life With My Little Pink Peg Person Wife Sitting

no mom i’m not high my eyes are red because i’m evil

Damien Cray: Hello private assassin of mine, I have an annoying person I’d like to be rid of

Yassen: lol ok no problem boss who is it this time

Damien Cray: This kid called Alex Rider

Yassen: OH NO MY SON

IT'S BACK

i have such good news y’all i’m buzzing with excitement

IT GOT STUCK AGAIN

rb if you are about to lose your shit, have already lost your shit, or support people who lose their shit

You ever just write fanfictions for comfort that you plan on posting but then just- don't?

Just got asked if Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss was some sort of lesbian thing and I think that's enough being alive for today.

Whataburger I hardly know her

“I used to have a crush on another guy who rose from the grave. But Jesus never threw a football like you Max”