Oh You Think You're Soooo Fucking Smart. With Your Fucking Convoluted Pretentious Sentences

maybe somewhere, things were different. maybe their promises of running away wouldn’t fall through.

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You might have thought card sharks and loan sharks were named after the predatory fish, but apparently there’s a decent chance it’s the other way around from an old Dutch word meaning “person that takes unfair advantage of other people”. Before that they were known in English as a haye or dogfish, which means sometime in the ~1400s enough English sailors started saying “don’t get in the water, it’s infested with those jerks”

Drew this during calculus

Elves are cats and Dwarves are dogs.

That's why they hate each other

also consider: LOTR but hobbits have Tapeta Lucidum

Boromir gets the fright of his life their first night on the road

If you were to ask the question

"Who would win if the Dream SMP CC fought their character's?"

The answer is always the character, except in some particular instances:

Wilbur

Schlatt

Jack Manifold

Technoblade

Now, I see some of you looking at that last one, and I've got to say: wait just a second, let me do the others first.

CC!Wilbur Soot is fucking crazy man. He would kill C!Wilbur with no hesitation and it wasn't even supposed to be a fight to the death. Sure C!Wilbur knows how to fight, sure he's a terrorist, but he's also weak as shit man. Fresh from the grave and about ten years older, he has so many problems with his body y'all. I bet he's got a limp. When he breathes it's wet. Sure both Wilbur's bones can snap like twigs, but CC has the advantage of being alive his whole life and wanting his C to suffer. C!Wilbur would hesitate and CC!Wilbur would not, and that makes all the difference.

CC!Schlatt has a gun. C!Schlatt stands no chance. Sorry bro.

Now. Here's the thing. This could actually go either way. C!Jack is easily intimidated, but so is CC!Jack. It all boils down to who can make the other back down first, the most likely outcome is a forfeit. As long as CC!Jack makes C!Jack believe he's a boxer he's won, however if any punches are thrown (though this is unlikely) C!Jack would best him.

CC!Techno would defeat Technoblade with the power of meta. We know for a fact that Technoblade is somewhat aware of the nature of his existence, though to what extent it is unclear. CC!Techno knows all of Technoblade weaknesses for he created them. All CC!Techno has to do is tell Technoblade he created him and without him he wouldn't even be a thought and if Technoblade strikes him down he shall cease to exist in all forms. If this doesn't work he can use his ultimate weapon: Floof.

All of these statements:

"C!Tommy is a badass: has great leadership qualities, is smarter and stronger than he looks, has survived immeasurable trauma and pulled himself out of it, takes initiative in solving problems, seeks to better himself with no prompting from others, etc."

"C!Tommy is soft: just wants peace and safety for him and his loved ones, loves animals and flowers and has an appreciation for things most would find disposable, gives his friends hugs and holds their hands, blames himself too much, has a habit of desperately looking for guidance and purpose, is easily malleable by people he looks up to, etc."

"C!Tommy is troublesome: tends to be reckless and impulsive, gets tunnel vision and is short sighted sometimes, is prone to anger and lashing out, has hurt people in the past, sometimes ignores the reality of a situation when too scared/conflicted to accept it, tends to be annoying and test people's limits, etc."

can and do coexist, and that's why I love him so much!! He's a soft ball of yarn covered in needles, he's a loud chihuahua who'll bite you and claw up your lawn and cuddle up next to you after, he's a menace and a protector and a victim and a fool. He's all of it at once. I don't want to take away any of it, because without his strong will he wouldn't have survived, and without his soft soul he wouldn't have lived, and without his flaws his life wouldn't be meaningful, because it's the flaws that make him feel human. He's an intricate dumbass, and I love him for it <3

“lol but why is this actually good” because i made it in earnest?? because i loved it??? because i love you??? because quality and humor are not mutually exclusive???? hold my hand. it’s okay

Sometimes a family is a magic man, a Greek god, and their shulker son, of whom they share custody.