DP X DC - Uncle Goon, I Mean Bill

Imagine Danny and Hal Jordan meeting one day, Danny revealing that Hal Jordan his is biggest hero for being an Airforce Pilot and the one that kicked started his love for Physics, his dream to becoming an Astronaut. Imagine Hal Jordan just being touched that his kid, ACTUALLY recognized and appreciated him for the planes he flew rather than his Green Lantern duties.

You cannot tell me Hal wouldn’t immediately pull out the adoption papers. And, after all, Barry did say he wanted kids.

Now he’ll have to go through Maddie and Jack.

i’ve seen a lot of really messed up images in my time on the internet, weird fetish shit, even a few IRL gore images but nothing. NOTHING evokes such a deep seated, gut wrenching fear in me like this image of the fucking water slide from Action Park with the loop in it

hey netizens! i'm not sure how many people are aware, but youtube's been slowly rolling out a new anti-adblock policy that can't be bypassed with the usual software like uBlock Origin and Pi-Hole out of the gate

BUT, if you're a uBlock Origin user (or use an adblocker with a similar cosmetics modifier), you can add these commands in the uBlock dashboard (under My Filters) to get rid of it!

youtube.com##+js(set, yt.config_.openPopupConfig.supportedPopups.adBlockMessageViewModel, false) youtube.com##+js(set, Object.prototype.adBlocksFound, 0) youtube.com##+js(set, ytplayer.config.args.raw_player_response.adPlacements, []) youtube.com##+js(set, Object.prototype.hasAllowedInstreamAd, true)

reblog to help keep the internet less annoying and to tell corporations that try shit like this to go fuck themselves <3

woman yelling at cat meme but make it ancient greek red figure pottery

Put That Thing Back Where it Came From or So Help Me-

Constantine was pacing back and forth in the waiting room, hands flying as he went over the rules of dealing with Infinite Realm Nobility for the eighteenth time.

Bruce tried to pay attention, really. But he'd already memorized this speech of the Laughing Magicians, and all there was really left to do was wait for their turn to meet the High King.

A flash of movement caught Bruce's attention, and he found his eyes drawn to a completely human teenager meandering his way from one of the side doors and towards the refrigerator stocked with "mortal friendly snacks".

Bruce kept quiet as he heard the teen muttering to himself about "aw yeah fuck yeah fiji water fuck yes", and let Constantine drone on and on about how they were probably the first mortals the King had ever met.

The teenager behind the ranting man stocked his arms full of Fiji water, chips, and cosmic brownies.

Then the Teen turned and realized Bruce was watching him.

Bruce shook his head minutely.

The teen slowly turned back to the fridge and put everything but the Fiji water back. That and the cosmic brownie.

Cautious blue eyes met his, and the kid raised an eyebrow.

Bruce scowled.

The brownie was quickly replaced with a banana.

Bruce gave a slight nod and looked away.

The teen darted back through the side door.

He didn't know who the kid was, but eating healthy was important. And, okay, maybe his own experience with kids had shoved its way to the front of his brain and taken over.

At least the random teenager in the Land of the Dead would have a healthy snack.

Two more minutes passed before the small entourage was allowed into the antechamber.

A glowing, floating boy was hovering just above the throne. White hair, glowing green eyes, a crown that looked like it was made of shattered pieces of space glittering above his head-and a poorly hidden half empty bottle of Fiji water peeking out at them from behind the throne, kept company by a single banana.

...Huh.

He had either told the Kings servant what to feed the King, or...

"Welcome to the Infinite Realms, I am Phantom, High King. For what reason do you seek an audience?"

Oh. Nope, nevermind on the servant theory. That was the kids voice.

Bruce had directly told the King of an entire dimension what he could and could not eat.

*Breakfast table*

Tim, drinking his coffee: To be honest, I’m quite impressed, Jason. How did you manage to get Dick to rest? He has been onto this case for months now, and getting more and more grumpy.

Jason: Easy, I drugged him.

Tim: You drugged him?!

Jason: Yeh, I went down the cave with a cup of cocoa and be like “hey Dickie how’s work I made you cocoa” he thanked me without even looking at me, so I said “I want to watch you drink it.” Thankfully he’s still semi-sociable in hyperfocus mode, so he looked at me, raised an eyebrow, and downed it.

Tim: Well, I guess that’s efficient. *sips his coffee*

Jason: I’m Alfred’s honorary apprentice after all.

Jason: By the way, Timbo. How long have you been awake?

Tim, chuckles: 45 hours? Close to 50? I’m not entirely sure. What's the date today? Anyway I’m just here to grab the coffee, now Dick’s resting, I’m gonna finish-

Jason: Don’t worry, I’m drugging you too.

Tim: You’re dru- *passes out*

Alfred, enters the kitchen: *high-fives Jason*

Writing Tips

Punctuating Dialogue

✧

➸ “This is a sentence.”

➸ “This is a sentence with a dialogue tag at the end,” she said.

➸ “This,” he said, “is a sentence split by a dialogue tag.”

➸ “This is a sentence,” she said. “This is a new sentence. New sentences are capitalized.”

➸ “This is a sentence followed by an action.” He stood. “They are separate sentences because he did not speak by standing.”

➸ She said, “Use a comma to introduce dialogue. The quote is capitalized when the dialogue tag is at the beginning.”

➸ “Use a comma when a dialogue tag follows a quote,” he said.

“Unless there is a question mark?” she asked.

“Or an exclamation point!” he answered. “The dialogue tag still remains uncapitalized because it’s not truly the end of the sentence.”

➸ “Periods and commas should be inside closing quotations.”

➸ “Hey!” she shouted, “Sometimes exclamation points are inside quotations.”

However, if it’s not dialogue exclamation points can also be “outside”!

➸ “Does this apply to question marks too?” he asked.

If it’s not dialogue, can question marks be “outside”? (Yes, they can.)

➸ “This applies to dashes too. Inside quotations dashes typically express—“

“Interruption” — but there are situations dashes may be outside.

➸ “You’ll notice that exclamation marks, question marks, and dashes do not have a comma after them. Ellipses don’t have a comma after them either…” she said.

➸ “My teacher said, ‘Use single quotation marks when quoting within dialogue.’”

➸ “Use paragraph breaks to indicate a new speaker,” he said.

“The readers will know it’s someone else speaking.”

➸ “If it’s the same speaker but different paragraph, keep the closing quotation off.

“This shows it’s the same character continuing to speak.”

Newborn Army Lives

Victoria and Riley picked people (mostly teenagers) that nobody would miss for their army. They all had been dealt a shitty hand in life. Is it me or is that extremely out of character for the Cullens to brutally murder a bunch of brainwashed kids? And the Volturi’s actions didn’t make any sense either.

Also, we’re never given an exact number but from what I counted on the wiki eighteen newborns were named in The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner so I just added another eighteen.

so…thirty-six bouncing baby vampires!

So here’s what I propose:

The Cullens don’t kill the newborns. They incapacitate them. Yes, there is still the epic battle and the newborns have been ripped apart (which is traumatic and the Cullens feel bad but it was necessary) but they’re not burned.

They don’t dismember Bree

She’ll be used as a witness

The Volturi swoop in and the Cullens present the bodies of Victoria and Riley

Jane interrogates/tortures Bree to get information

Learns that none of them knew anything about the laws

The fact that the newborns are in pieces and not ashes aren’t lost on the Volturi

Jane makes the comment about the Volturi not giving second chances

Which is bullshit because the newborns never even got their first chance

Jane agrees to allow the newborns to live. The caveat being that for one year starting on that battlefield the Cullens are responsible for the newborns

Meaning that if any one of them step one toe out of line they’ll rain down hell upon their heads

Jane didn’t do this out of the goodness of her own heart

She had orders

With Carlisle not only generally well-liked amongst vampires (he has quite a few powerful friends), he also has one of the most powerful vampires in existence in his coven

He was a threat but they couldn’t take him out directly

They half hoped the newborns would do it for them. It’s why they didn’t squash the newborns earlier

But they also knew that skilled vampires with experience will win against the newborns any day

They also, to some degree, know Carlisle and his bleeding heart

So they send Jane along with orders

If the Cullens killed all of the newborns, great! Their job has been done for them

If they spared - kill the spares.

It’ll send a message

If they spare more than five newborns, allow the spared ones to live. With the ultimatum of the Cullens being responsible for them as if they created them

Why?

Well it kills some birds with one stone

If the Cullens fail to control the newborns properly (which the Volturi are sure they will) then the decimation of the Cullens would look justified

They could also say that the Cullens knew what they were agreeing to and accepted the potential consequences

They could get rid of the threat and wouldn’t have to deal with the political implications and backlash of the Volturi killing the Cullens for either no legal reason or a flimsy one

The fact the Cullens spared all the newborns was both unexpected and delightful

Aro also wanted to see how it all played out

So he allows it

Breaking Dawn is the Cullens trying to wrangle the thirty-six feral newborns

Edward gives in and Bella is changed and joins the rest of the newborns in training

The Cullens move to the most remote place you can think of

but they still have a hard time controlling all of them (duh)

So they call their vampy friends and ask them to help them out with their pack of feral vampires

Jacob’s pack - Jacob, Seth, Leah, Embry, and Quil - are there too.

Cue vampire-werewolf solidarity

-Insert hundreds of headcanons about The Year of everyone trying to house train thirty-six buck wild baby vampires but this is already too long-

And The Year draws to an end and they did the impossible. 

now where the f u c k do the fully grown and matured vampires go now

Some newborns are adopted into covens that helped “raise” them

Others go off by themselves and become solitary nomads 

Others form covens among themselves and leave

Some take up the vegetarian diet

others don’t 

During the year Bree Tanner and Diego (he’s alive), and Dean grow close to Rosalie and Emmet

the five create an entirely new coven

With Rosalie as the mother figure and Emmet as the father 

Renesmee’s name is instead Carlie (a nod towards the canonical name but less gross) and she’s a newborn that develops a close relationship with Edward 

They also adopt another newborn, Mason 

Essentially Bella, Edward, Mason, and Carlie form a coven of their own and leave to start a new life 

Alice and Jasper also adopted a newborn, Heather, and go off on their own

Don’t feel too bad for Carlisle and Esme, having to say goodbye to their adopted children

They adopted four newborns

Warren, Logan, Daniella, and May

Plus their older children visit quite often 

Sometimes separately

Sometimes it’s a huge family reunion

Bella’s and Edward’s wedding happens at the very end when they’re all fairly certain she won’t massacre the human guests. Her supernatural beauty is passed off as god tier makeup and contacts 

Oh, and Jacob doesn’t imprint on a baby!

Or on this version of her either

And they all lived happily ever after

Beauty of the future <3

Sci-fi art by Jae Cheol Park.