This Is How You Nip Internalized Self Hatred In The Bud

Seeking apartment takeover

West Houston, Copperfield area 77084

I’m not gonna make December’s rent so I need to be out by November 30. I don’t have 2 months’ rent to avoid a broken lease but I do have one other option: if someone else takes over the lease then we’re all set.

876 sqft 1/1 with a “flex room” (den) that could easily become a second bedroom.

Security deposit has already been paid.

BIG bedroom with huge walk-in closet. Decent closet in flex room.

Garden tub. Single sink & big closet in bathroom with doors to hallway & bedroom.

Oven with electric range, microwave, fridge+freezer, pantry, deep double sink, top & bottom cabinets, great A/C + heat, ceiling lights & fans in each room, cathedral ceiling in living room.

All carpet except laminate entryway, kitchen, & bath.

Valet trash Sun-Thurs.

Gated parking, no assigned spots or fees.

Cable ready with fiber optic (services AT&T, Xfinity, possibly others).

Large-slat wood blinds, not those cheap flimsy metal ones.

Super close to the parking gate.

Management lives on premises. They’re awesome.

There’s an on-site gym for $20/mo; if you want that you’re on your own.

Pet friendly.

Full size W/D hookup in a laundry “room” on covered balcony.

Apartment being leased AS IS. I’ll take care of the cleanup, but it’s not gonna have brand new carpet. Apartment has NOT been smoked in, but (well-tended) cats have lived here, so I don’t recommend this for anyone with a cat allergy.

Website for online rent payment.

Rent is $975/mo.

Current lease is up in April. Renew or bail at that point, it’s up to you.

Here’s the floor plan (my unit is flipped horizontally from this image and there is no door from the hallway to flex room):

Requirements:

$50 application fee.

3 most recent pay stubs proving you GROSS at least 3x rent ($2925/mo, or $18.21/hr assuming 40 hrs/wk).

Ability to move in Dec 1st or ASAP.

As mentioned, no security deposit required!

Joint applications are fine.

Please PM me if you’re interested or know anyone who may be interested.

Saw this on Facebook, but I have greater reach hear

I really, really dislike the narrative that surrounds romantic relationships that if you don’t want to spend 100% of your time together, you’re not in a healthy relationship. And I don’t mean “ugh I can’t stand them right now” or the whole “wimmin, amirite? Can’t live with ‘em, but still expect them to clean up after me” heteronormative, hateful bullshit. I mean the fact that romantic ideals have been elevated to such unhealthy peaks of unrealisticness, that even wanting time and space to yourself is considered abnormal. 

Like some of the things people are describing when it comes to their “ideal” relationship? Honestly just reminds me of the codependency worksheet my therapist made me fill out, and I ought to know because I’m extremely dependant on my partner to stay alive. Granted, my situation is a little different from people who aren’t disabled or chronically ill. But this still doesn’t change who we are as people, even if it has changed the dynamics of our relationship.

But we’re still emotionally very independent people, and like doing things on our own. We always have, even before my health issues, we had our own friends. We loved wandering off and doing stuff on our own pre-Corona. And even now we still like having some downtime apart, even if it just means he’s watching TV in the other room, and I’m on the computer talking to all y’all. That downtime doesn’t mean we’re dysfunctional or dealing with unresolved resentment with each other, it just means we don’t feel the need for constant physical proximity to feel close. We’re still getting our needs met, we’re still happy. And yet some people would say that because we don’t feel the need to do everything together at every minute of the day, we must secretly be unhappy. Why? Why are some of you so dysfunctional you can’t spend any time apart? (See how not nice it is for someone to say something like that?)

And also, while I’m at it, erase the idea that you’re so in love with someone you will never be mad at them because that’s also not healthy or realistic. There will be times your partner will irk you. There may even be times that they outright piss you off or vice versa. What matters is how you handle those moments and work through them together. And if you’re continually framing your relationship in terms of “we’re so in love we’ll never be angry at each other, so I don’t even have to think about it,” you’re not preparing yourself to deal with real and very valid emotions that are part of the human social experience. You can be the most in love, most in tune, best-matched couple ever, and still find yourself annoyed by something. And it’s the people who break up who either don’t know how to deal with this, or just plain won’t because it breaks their internal narrative of True Love™ overcoming all, not realizing that love is both a feeling and a choice, and sometimes you gotta choose to work at it.

 And this applies to queer relationships as well. All too often, I see people saying, “we’re queer, so this will never be an issue” when what you really mean to say is, “we’re queer, so these particular problems that are prevalent in heteronormative relationships will not affect us in that way.”

But that does not mean you will never come across a problem that does put a strain on your relationship. Like, say, a fucking global pandemic that locks most people in their homes for a fourth, fifth month in a row with no other means of socialization or stimulation.

Or one of you getting sick and suddenly requiring constant care… 

And that shit ain’t easy regardless of who you love. Being a caretaker is emotionally and physically draining, and I could write for hours about why there need to be better support systems in place for the caretaker spouses of chronically and terminally ill/disabled partners and how they often become chronically ill themselves. (I was a caretaker myself from the age of 9 onwards. I know this shit isn’t easy. It’s why I made ETD go to therapy when we realized I would need him to take care of me if we wanted to keep me alive.) But that’s another topic for another post. 

Like, honestly, maybe it’s me. Perhaps it’s my experiences and how I view love and relationships, but the whole idea of “I don’t need to take time for myself I’m in a loving relationship!” is just… not good. Everyone needs their own space sometimes and demonizing that as unhealthy is, well, not healthy.

Humans are human, we’re social creatures for the most part. But sometimes you just gotta go off by yourself into the metaphorical woods of the psyche and spend some time being comfortable with yourself. And if you can’t do that without feeling like your relationship is in trouble, well, maybe you ought to evaluate why. 

Urgent US Politics Alert: 09/24/2019

FELLOW USIANS:

You may have heard that a whistleblower put themselves at great risk to inform Congress that Trump has, once again, attempted to get a foreign government to interfere in our elections. The foreign government in question, the Ukraine, was very alarmed by this and notified Congress as well. Trump has also admitted to it. The question is not Did he do it? The question is, What consequences will he face for treason?

For SOME REASON, our congressional leaders have been letting him get away with this bullshit – up to and including yesterday’s announcement that they are violating our free press state by no longer holding White House Press Briefings. We are in a critical moment where our democracy has never been at greater risk or under greater attack. I don’t mean to be alarmist or sensationalist, but you guys, we are well past wondering whether he is a danger to our country. Pelosi has been arguing that his crimes should be addressed via re-election, but his crimes compromise the freedom and integrity of our elections! HE MUST BE IMPEACHED.

The House of Representatives – ie, the body of Congress that has to move to start impeachment hearings – is caucusing THIS AFTERNOON to decide whether (!!!!!!) they will move forward with impeachment. 

PLEASE CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES AND TELL THEM IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS THAT IMPEACHMENT *MUST* BE MOVED ON. If there are no consequences for his actions, then what is even the point of a system that says no one is above the law?

Call  202-224-3121 to be connected to the House switchboard, who will then connect you to your representatives– or Google who your rep is and call them directly. DO IT NOW. TODAY. THIS MINUTE.

ETA: The vote is at 4:00pm Eastern.

Let me teach you something about braids… by the_land on tiktok 

It is the changing of the times! Now is the time to be grateful that we experience the linear flow of time at all, rather than a vortex Otherworld that occasionally dumps seemingly impossible numbers of glass bottles from a terrifyingly believable number of selves-that-could-have-been on our shores. For this, we celebrate. From my island to yours, Happy New Years!

This year, focus not on coveting the impossible fortunes of the Selves You Might Have Been from timelines that are lost to you. Instead, let their triumphs inspire you to turn your attention to some of the Selves You Could Be Still and claim what they have for yourself; it is your birthright.

my least favorite aspect of the “slytherins are oppressed uwu” thing that keeps happening is when people try to say that J.K. Rowling has “anti-slytherin bias” because she shows the school-age slytherins as all being snobbish and 100% deserving of the reputation they have

like you guys know hogwarts is not a real place, right? there isn’t actually any such thing as slytherin. 

Jo Rowling is not a journalist who failed to report the story objectively because she has a personal vendetta against slytherin house borne of pervasive anti-slytherin prejudices in our society

She’s an author who made up slytherin and decided that the majority of them would be exactly as big of dicks as everyone thinks they are. Rowling literally can’t be anything but objective with regards to Harry Potter canon. She’s literally omniscient in the world she created, and if she wrote Slytherin house as being just full of dicks, even the 11-year-olds who are sorted into it (of their own free will, you can’t be officially sorted into a house you don’t want to be in, the first year slytherins wanted to be in slytherin and most of them, even muggleborns, know how much importance slytherin places on elitist snobbery in possible students)

If you think racist, classist, status-obsessed, snobbish slytherins are the exception rather than the rule, the problem isn’t that J.K. has an anti-slytherin bias, it’s that you have a pro-slytherin bias, and a bias in favor of the house that caters to both the privileged and supremacists by design is not a bias you should be proud of having

However, the thesis statement here is this is fake. You’re literally saying that a woman who pretended a whole planet of wizards for your entertainment is somehow wrong about how the world she made up operates. It’s like when the Supernatural writers said they spell Castiel’s nickname “Cass” and the fans said the writers were wrong. I agree that’s a dumb way to spell a shorter version of “Castiel.” Supernatural is a dumb show. However, if you find yourself saying that you, a fan, are more of an authority on canon than the literal writers who make up the canon for your consumption, you have overstepped your bounds as a member of the audience. 

Have headcanons about nice, non-racist slytherins if you insist. Say the books would have been better if Harry’s slytherin classmates had been more three-dimensional, or if the series had explored the idea of students going to slytherin because they expected it to be the “ambitious” house and being mortified to find out they’re actually stuck in the racist house. 

Please, though, put the “Rowling’s anti-slytherin bias” card back in the deck and leave it there forever, it doesn’t make sense and it shows me you think “the person who wrote the story told the series of events they made up inaccurately” makes more sense than “like the omniscient narrator and many of the characters said, there’s a problem is slytherin house.”

tl;dr: harry potter is a good book but it’s made up so why are you trying to spare the feelings of pretend racists

I saw this chart and I thought it might help people navigate what activities they felt safe to do or not go.

great white sharks are able to detect electromagnetic fields emitted by movement of animals, they are so sensitive that they can detect variations up to a billionth of a volt. At close range this allows them to hear heartbeats.

No wonder Meghan Markle wants to leave UK