Sometimes I Wonder How I Didn't Realize I Was Trans Until I Was 21 Years Old And Then I Remember That

I've been terrified of going insane for a long time now, specifically loss of lucidity/memory. When I was in high school, I would occasionally have minor hallucinations when I wasn't getting enough sleep.

The most afraid I've been in my life was once when I lost access to all my memories for about thirty seconds. I couldn't recall any details about my identity or my whereabouts (my apartment).

I think the second most disturbing experience was years ago when I was in the shower and I thought my hair turned into spider legs. It took every fiber of my being not to freak out and start thrashing my limbs all over the place.

The last time I visited my dad, he described two occasions of having hallucinations similar to ones I've had, so I asked if my family has a history of mental illness. He said his grandmother or something like that "went crazy," so that wasn't very helpful or reassuring.

I think overall, the best thing to do is enjoy life now. Worrying about the future will probably just make it hard to deal with. Eventually I should talk to a therapist, but I'm happy where I am.

cw: voice dysphoria

Voice training is great and it has done wonders for me, but I cannot describe to you how much I want that sound that happens when cis women try to make their voice deeper but their range isn't low enough.

Singing in the baritone range feels nice enough for similar reasons to thus, but I would gladly give up that part of my range if I could just have a voice that makes me happy.

Mildly related: I was a tenor in choir back in high school, but it never felt high enough. I found myself getting jealous of countertenors and castratos, all because I couldn't recognize that I was experiencing gender dysphoria.

Get you a girl with too many arms. Get you a girl with an uncommon number of limbs. Get you a girl with uncommon limbs.

Just a reminder that Robots (2005) has two on-screen sexual reassignment surgeries which happen to two different characters.

It's funny that it took me so long to start USING tumblr. I started looking at tumblr posts on Pinterest when I was in 8th grade on my school-issued chromebook. I have been an avid reader of tumblr posts reposted to other websites for roughly eight years now, but I just started making the content.

being a female knight fucking sucks. every squire boy i get turns out to be an adult woman with short hair who's just in it to sensually strap my armor to me. CHOP CHOP bitch the French are trying to sack our castle!

I swear I act identically to the people around me, so why does it feel so uncomfortable?

Is it wrong that when I first heard the Micheal Distortion from TMA being described, I just imagined Dylan Brady with big hands?

My friends probably wouldn't believe this, but I consider posting something in my friend group's groupchat 20 to 30 times before actually posting it unprompted. I'm not sure if this is normal or anxiety.

I am a sucker for literal soul mates. Like people who share a body. I love that shit so much and I want more. I am accepting recommendations.