Miko Is Actually Super Kind, You Can See The Following Conversation On The Inazuma Message Board:

Happy Birthday, Furina!

"Oh? Everyone's here...!?"

I'm not sure if it's okay to ask multiple requests (if so please feel free to ignore!), but I was wondering if I could also request Yae Miko/Beidou/Lisa comforting gn s/o through a bad depressive episode?

Multiple requests are allowed! :) I can't claim to be an expert regarding depression, so, figuring out what exactly is a "bad depressive episode" wasn't really easy... just like I'm not entirely confident with how effective this would be as comfort (besides writing for Beidou and Lisa for the first time). Thank you for the request nevertheless, I hope you like it despite the time it took!

Yae Miko, Beidou and Lisa comforting GN reader going through a bad depressive episode

Warnings: sensitive themes (depression), emotional

Yae Miko

You're no stranger to the fact she greatly enjoys midnight strolls

They help her soothe her mind after an exhaustingly unthrilling day at the shrine, or learning at Yae Publishing House that the competition dared to consume her market territory with their latest shabby release

Going for a walk so late also means that encounters with people are few, most of them are getting sleepy at this point anyway

This results in places being free of people's presence... typically, at least

Ambient music:

"Dear me, it appears we're crossing paths once again, S/O."

Her gaze immediately rests on you, as soon as she spots you, sitting on a rock by the beach beneath Inazuma City.

"Yae, I was... waiting for you, actually."

"Oh? Were you looking for my company, little one?"

You hum as you nod, inviting her at the same time to sit besides you on the rock.

"How considerate of you, I'll keep that in mind."

"It's also... the only pleasant thing I have nowadays, I fear..."

Her eyebrows lower in response, while your glance focuses back on the horizon of the sea, with the sound of the waves being the only ambient sound alongside the cicadas of summer nights.

"I just wonder... why do I even wake up in the morning...?"

Your hands rest flat on your laps, turning now into fists... though it's only a matter of seconds until her hand gently embrace one of your fists, caressing it a little in the process, as a subtle way to invite you to speak up. One of her tails peeks out meanwhile, surrounding your back and side in the next moment.

"Everyday, I just feel so... empty inside, so tired, no matter how long I sleep... or don't..."

"So what you're saying is... the darkness is consuming you from the inside, correct?"

"Yes..."

She exhales briefly, while her tail brings you a little closer from her. From this point on, you can also feel how her arm is wrapping around your shoulder, completing the tail's movement and now making your cheek rest against her shoulder. The two of you look out in the distance and remain silent for a while, simply enjoying each other's presence.

"S/O?"

"... hmm?"

"You might have forgotten the following, so I shall remind you, for good measure. You matter."

"What... are you implying?"

"What I'm implying is, even if you feel down and empty... it doesn't make you any less important, S/O. Besides, you basically admitted to not be fine, right? And acknowledgement... is a step toward recovery."

You slowly glance up at her again, and she welcomes it with her own. She might be more agitated on the inside than she appears to be on the outside, but her confident attitude serves as anchor - and as a lighthouse, even. While it's true she doesn't spare you from being teased from time to time, although within your boundaries of course, you cannot deny that her taking your concerns seriously is something you're grateful for.

"Of course, any recovery will take the time it requires... but you're not alone to make it through this hardship now, are you? Hmm?"

She gently squishes your shoulder with her hand as she speaks that out with a low voice, before beginning to massage it. Her stare remains fixated within your eyes.

"But... won't I be a burden to you...?"

"Not at all. Besides, it will put my mind at ease, to know that you're in good hands. Also, it might have escaped your attention as well, but you're strong. Being vulnerable is no easy feat, even less in the presence of someone. And I would rather not have anyone dare destroy the efforts you're pouring into getting better."

"Yae, I... I..."

Your view turns blurry as tears create in your eyes - tears which she wipes away with her delicate fingers, soon after.

"It's okay, let it out. Some feelings are best led outside than kept inside."

Seeing that your emotions are becoming increasingly present now, Yae Miko simply keeps holding you through without a word, with her comforting presence anchoring you, as you manage your feelings at your own pace, for as long as you need. It's only after you become a little more collected that she dares break the silence.

"The Grand Narukami Shrine has a few guest rooms. If you wouldn't mind, you could reside in one of them for the time being. That way, you would be close to me, should things get... uncomfortable again."

"That... would be much appreciated... Thank you, Yae..."

"No need to thank me, little one. I'm confident in your ability to make it through. You simply need a shoulder to rely on... for when it gets too tough for you to carry alone."

----------

Beidou

The two of you would regularly have a feast together, as a way to celebrate her bountiful returns from sailing around

It never escaped your attention that she has quite the appetite

... just like it didn't escape her attention when yours was, on this day, suspiciously low

Aside from this "detail", everything seemed normal on you, except perhaps your walking pace being slower as the two of you head back from the tavern... and your talkativeness while inside, too

But it would be foolish to believe that Captain Beidou, who has eyes for nothing but the finest treasures, wouldn't have eyes for her treasure

Ambient music:

"Hey, S/O... Something the matter?"

You don't say anything, instead simply stopping and glancing at her, whose steps bring her closer to you.

"I have a feeling there's something off about you tonight. Would you... like to chat about it?"

"Oh... no, no need... I'm fine. Thanks."

"Is that right?"

She sees through your attempt to reassure her with this little forced smile, causing her unpatched eye to narrow its sight on your form - you're anything but fine. Then, with a low sigh, she closes her eyes and uses her proximity from you to rest her hand on your shoulder, with far more delicacy than her feats and physical strength would suggest.

"It's okay if you don't want to talk it out, S/O. I just don't want you to ignore your own needs, that's all."

As your answer to her words consists of silence, and that you keep standing as idle as a tree, she takes the initiative to embrace you and pull you against her chest - though she didn't catch a prey, far from that.

"There, there. Nobody's around here at this time of night. I may not know how tough it must be for you now, but you're allowed to not feel alright. Your feelings matter, S/O. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise, you hear me?"

The proximity of her face to one of your ears allows her to whisper gently into it. Her voice, usually befitting of leading a crew, took now a softer tone that few people get to hear coming from her.

"You're doing good, even if you may not notice it. Every little achievement matters, even those that look mundane... especially these ones."

She now embraces your cheek with her hand, gently wiping a tear away with her thumb.

"Beidou..."

"You're not alone for fighting this. If there's anything you need, just say the word, whatever it may be."

She smiles in return as she notices your lips forming a tiny smile, out of your remaining strength.

"Want me to carry you back home?"

You nod and she proceeds to lift you with ease, through a secure and gentle grip. Then, she begins to walk but at a slower pace than earlier, to ensure that your ride will be comfortable enough.

"I'm proud of you S/O. I believe in you."

Just as a yawn catches up to your face, she began to hum a song to soothe your mind, eventually leading you to fall asleep under the safety of her watch and protection.

----------

Lisa

You both agreed to meet up at Good Hunter tonight, to share a meal together

However, despite waiting for you... you were nowhere to be seen

If this would be with someone else, Lisa's patience would probably have run dry by now, and those who miraculously survived forgetting to return a book in time, know very well about the consequences

But she knows you, and always appreciated your punctuality, so this must mean there's something up... and she's going to find out

First things first, she headed to your home in Mondstadt and knocked on the door a few times... eventually frowning as no reply reached her

That's strange, she thought; she knows for a fact that you're always home at this time of day

She knocks once more but to no avail, and after taking a quick glance around, she took the initiative to try open the door...

... which is unlocked, suspiciously enough; leading her to believe that you're home, after all

"Cutie? Are you in here? It's me, Lisa."

She glances around in the main room of your home, hoping to find you safe and sound. As you don't appear to be there, she then heads toward your bedroom, with worry beginning to raise within her, after each step she does.

The door is half-open. She takes a peek through its opening, and cannot retain a gasp upon finally seeing you - although not exclusively out of relief.

"S/O! What... happened to you?"

You know the situation is truly serious when she doesn't call you cutie or darling, nor is keeping up that perpetual confident smile. As you lay on your bed, consumed on the inside by the darkness, you manage to react to her question... although, with only a mere glance up at her, and just enough strength to weakly breath out her name.

"Lisa..."

She immediately sits on the bed, besides you, and then does a quick check-up of your condition. Her Akademiya knowledge soon kicks in and the realization hits her, as you could guess by her eyes opening wide.

"Here... let me help you."

Ambient music:

As her arms wrap around your form, you are met with what feels like a ray of moonlight piercing through the night. From a laying position on the bed, you have now been switched to being snuggled against her chest, held in place by the loving and gentle embrace of her arms.

"You are doing the best you can, S/O, even now. You're going through a hard time... and it's perfectly okay to not feel okay."

Her voice is low, but calm, and very tender. Her chin rests on your shoulder, cheek against cheek, while one of her hands stroke up and down along your back, providing you with a little bit of much-needed comfort - which you gladly welcome and acknowledge, through leading a little more toward her.

"If you feel the need to talk about it, know that I'm there for you, S/O, you will always have my full attention. And should you decide to remain silent, it's perfectly alright. In any case though, you matter to me, please remember that."

For the next few seconds, only silence fills up the room as she holds you closely, with the utmost motherly-like care possible, as she blesses you with her presence.

"Are you hungry? Thirsty, perhaps? I'll get you something, please wait here for me."

She removes the purple rose from her hair and then places it into your hand while she gets up, as a way to keep her present in your near, even if just a little bit.

"Here, keep this meanwhile. I'll be back in no time."

And she indeed didn't take long, for she returned soon enough with water as well as a handful of sandwiches - something convenient enough to feed you with, after setting you in a better position for this.

"If you don't mind, S/O, I will help you for the rest of your tasks tonight, and I'll come check up on you every day. That's the least I can do for you. I'll even make some potions, to help you get some relief. You won't have to face this burden alone, you have my word."

Thank you for reading! Link to main post

Happy Birthday, Amber!

"If only I could fly with these pigeons! Ah, I think I might've stared at them for too long, Timmie is starting to glare at me..."

(Oh sorry, I didn't notice Beidou and Lisa weren't in the list of characters you write, my bad!)

Just answering for the sake of not having to delete it without a reply, even if I already answered this a while ago by now... Multiple characters allowed, and even if they aren't mentioned in the main post 👀

Hellsing - Masterlist

Fluff = 🤍

Smut = 🖤 No TW = 🎀

Mild TW = 🔪

Moderate TW = ⚔️

Intense TW = ⚰️ Romantic Affection = 🥀

Platonic Affection = 🎨

Not Specified Affection = 🌈 Gender Neutral Reader = 💫

Female Reader = 🩰

Male Reader = 🍂 Headcanons = 📃

One Shot = 📖

Fanfiction = 📚

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alucard

- Relationship Headcanons (⚔️/📃/🤍/🥀/💫)

- Cuddle Headcanons (🎀/📃/🤍/🥀/💫)

- Falling In Love (🔪/📃/🤍/🥀/💫)

- x Playful!Reader (🎀/📃/🤍/🥀/💫)

- x Calm!Reader ( 🔪/📃/🤍/🥀/💫)

- x Carefree!Reader (🔪/📃/🤍/🥀/💫)

Pip

- x Witch!Reader (🎀/📃/🌈 /💫)

- x Military!Reader (🎀/📃/🥀/💫)

Happy Birthday, Yumemizuki Mizuki!

Good afternoon! Going by the look on your face, I suppose you must have had a pleasant dream just now?

It seems the treatment has proven quite effective. Ah, perfect timing. The afternoon snacks are ready too.

This is a special dessert prepared with help from Ya-chan and Te-chan. You won't find a taste this enchanting in any other establishment.

Anyway, please make sure to eat it all up~

hiya, i love ur content!! it brings me a lot of comfort :') this is my first time requesting anything so i apologize if it's a bit awkward!

could you please write aventurine, firefly and/or any other characters you want to add with a reader who's not used to intimacy or gentleness from being conditioned to suppress emotions and therefore always puts on a tough front and reader is also funny and makes jokes out of anything to hide how fragile they actually are? like character is playing with their hair, kissing beauty marks or scars, etc but reader just starts silently crying bc they're not used to it and it feels good?

thank you lots in advance and take your time!! (i once again apologize if it's hard to read or is awkward)

The Weight of a Smile

Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Firefly x Reader, Established Relationship, Vulnerability, Emotional Intimacy, Comfort, Gentle Touch, Trauma Healing, Affection, Slow Burn, Supportive Relationship.

Warnings: Mentions of trauma, Emotional breakdown, Tearjerker, Past abuse or cruelty, Survivor's guilt, Self-suppression of emotions, Vulnerability and emotional discomfort, Emotional manipulation.

A/N: First off, thank you so much for the kind words! That really made my day 🤭💖 There’s no need to apologize at all—I'm really happy you're here and feel comfortable enough to ask something! And don't worry, it wasn't hard or anything!!

Tagslist: @themiddletenmasibling

You were sitting together in his private study, where the usual tension of strategic talk was replaced by an odd quietness between you both. Aventurine leaned back in his chair, a mischievous smile gracing his lips as he watched you attempt to mask your discomfort. You had always been good at keeping up your walls—always joking, always pretending you didn’t need anyone to care for you. But here, in the privacy of his space, something different was unfolding.

Aventurine’s eyes twinkled with amusement, as he toyed with a strand of your hair. He moved it between his fingers with an air of nonchalance, but you could see the subtle attention behind his gaze. It wasn’t unusual for him to make gestures like these—flirtatious, teasing, and unafraid of pushing your boundaries. It was how he played his game, after all.

"You know," he mused, still twirling your hair as though it were a prized card he was inspecting. "This color suits you. Almost like a perfect contrast to my adventurous nature."

You snorted, trying to push the strange wave of discomfort down. “Yeah, well, you’re the one with the roulette-wheel back on your jacket,” you quipped, always opting for humor to cover anything remotely vulnerable. "What is it this time? Risking your life on your fashion choices?"

Aventurine chuckled, clearly unbothered, but the moment he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss near the scar on your wrist—one you had never really discussed with anyone—something inside you shifted. You stiffened, trying to hold onto your usual banter, but it was different this time. He hadn’t just kissed a scar; he had kissed your pain, your history. The raw parts of you that you buried so deep.

His lips were warm against your skin, his usual easy smile slowly fading into something softer. “I’ll never let anything like this mark you again,” he whispered, just loud enough for you to hear, his voice oddly tender.

You felt the sudden rush of emotions you had buried for so long, the weight of his touch and words threatening to break through. You tried to hold it together—tried to make a joke or deflect—but the laughter caught in your throat. Instead, tears welled up silently, and before you could stop them, they began to fall.

Aventurine’s eyes locked onto you with surprise, but there was no judgment, no rush to make it stop. He gently cupped your face with one hand, his thumb brushing away a stray tear as he whispered, "You’ve always been so strong, haven’t you?"

It was the first time you felt seen in a way that was so unexpected, so gentle, that it made everything else—the walls, the jokes, the front you put up—seem irrelevant. His touch, as light as it was, anchored you in a way nothing had before. You wanted to pull away, to laugh it off, but you couldn’t.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, embarrassed by the vulnerability. “I just… It’s a lot to feel. I’m not used to… this.”

Aventurine’s gaze softened further, and in that rare moment, he showed something you hadn’t often seen: sincerity. "You don’t need to apologize for that," he murmured, kissing the top of your head softly, the act far more intimate than you had expected. "You deserve the gentleness, even if you don’t know how to accept it just yet."

And as his arms enveloped you, you finally let yourself feel the warmth of his affection, the touch you hadn’t realized you needed so desperately.

Firefly sat next to you, the two of you resting after another grueling mission. The cool evening air wrapped around you both, and for the first time in a long while, you found solace in the quiet. She had always been a person of few words, but the silence between you felt comfortable—not the heavy silence of avoidance, but one that came with a quiet understanding.

Her hand moved gently to your hair, and you stiffened instinctively. You had never been good at intimacy. Growing up, emotions had been a weakness, and you had conditioned yourself to suppress them. Jokes and sarcasm were your armor, and vulnerability was a battlefield you had no intention of stepping into.

But there she was, her fingers delicately combing through your hair, the simple act of caring something that felt foreign to you. You didn’t know how to respond to such tenderness, and it made you uneasy.

“Your hair is like silver moonlight,” she said softly, her voice laced with the gentle affection she rarely showed. You couldn’t help but chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. “Right. And you’re the moon itself. Always glowing, always distant.”

Firefly’s smile was almost imperceptible, but it was there—just for a moment—before her fingers continued their exploration. But as they grazed your skin, near the small scar just behind your ear, you froze. Her touch was slow, deliberate, and strangely soothing. Something about it made your chest tighten, a feeling that you didn’t know how to process.

"You’ve fought so much, haven’t you?" Firefly’s voice was soft, almost a whisper now. She gently pressed a kiss against the scar. “But not all battles have to be fought alone.”

You immediately felt the familiar urge to make a joke, to crack something clever to push away the feeling of her affection. But her words and the warmth of her touch—combined with the quiet sincerity in her gaze—stopped you from speaking. Instead, a tear slipped down your cheek, unnoticed at first by Firefly.

When she saw it, her expression softened. Without a word, she pulled you closer, wrapping her arms around you in a protective embrace. You weren’t used to being held like this, to being shown tenderness that didn’t come with strings or expectations. Your walls, once so rigid, cracked just slightly in the warmth of her touch.

"I'm not used to this," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper, and for once, the humor in your words faded. "I don’t know how to… handle it."

Firefly’s grip tightened just enough, not in a possessive way, but as if assuring you that it was okay. "You don’t have to handle it alone anymore," she said quietly. "Not with me."

A silence settled between you two, but this time, it wasn’t uncomfortable. You allowed yourself to lean into her, feeling her warmth seep into your bones. And for the first time in a long while, you didn’t feel the need to pretend you had it all together.

The tears you had been holding back flowed freely now, but they didn’t feel like weakness. Not with Firefly there. With her, you felt like it was okay to finally stop pretending.

i love miko's teasing and confidence like you do, but her kindness underneath that really melts my heart :) i see a lot of the fandom calling her cruel and mean, but she's way kinder than people give her credit for- the way she talks to ei in euthymia gets me every time 😭 she's so sweet and loyal, and she offers help to other characters all the time even when she doesn't have to (even though she likes to tease as she does it). i also really like her loneliness that you can see in certain lines (in her story quest when she talks about much paimon cares for the traveller she says "hm, i'm a little jealous. i wish my friends were caring like that" with a sigh). i like to think she has abandonment issues because i have them and i'm dragging all my favourite characters down with me 💪

ooh do you like star rail too?? :0 i just started playing it yesterday, who are your favourites?

also itto's voice actor is so good haha, he makes every line so fun

-🐈‍⬛

Agreed, though I admit I wasn't paying attention to her kindness (nor the concept of loneliness, either) back then, years ago, when I did the Inazuma archon quests... nor did I fully explore every lore piece about her. Not long ago on tumblr, I saw a post that highlighted her kindness, when she personally offered a samurai war veteran to come to the shrine, to soothe his trauma a bit (a conversation they have on a notification board).

Speaking of loneliness... well, her only close friend (Ei) spends 24/7 of her time in her own realm, so... 😶

I did a quick search about abandonment issues and, although she doesn't seem (to me, and with my current knowledge of her) to have them... perhaps she simply doesn't show them. After all, somewhere in the Teyvat Travel Guide, you can basically read that Alice (Klee's mother) once managed to make (at the time, possibly younger) Yae cry (!)... so she probably set up an emotional wall from this point on, teasing people to keep them in check, and to assert dominance, so she wouldn't be in a weak situation again 🤔

(funfact, upon finding out about that, that's when she really began to pique my attention beyond her design... out of relatability for the protective emotional wall, and the ease of teasing/joking around, but to make people smile or laugh, not to make them uneasy or to take advantage of them)

Technically it seems I've been playing it for exactly 1 year and 1 day as of tonight (got an achievement yesterday for 365 days). However, it's only since 5-6 months that I got increasingly more invested into it... The rest of the time, I just did the daily activities to stack up pulling items, but never more than that (I have several hundreds of thousands of Trailblaze points thanks to that, lol).

As for my favourites... I'd say Ruan Mei (even though I didn't like, nor completely dislike her, at first, ironically), Asta, Welt, Black Swan, Tingyun, Misha (or Furino as I nickname him 🤭), eventually Aventurine (not just because of the Topaz & Clara EN VA's simping for him lol), and more recently, Robin (Kamisato Ayaka expy?)... What about yours? 👀

He pretty much makes me grin every time he shows up for an event or cutscene 😁

This is money cat. He only appears every 1,383,986,917,198,001 posts. If you repost this in 30 seconds he will bring u good wealth and fortune.

Ruan Mei: a character study and attempt at understanding her.

Who is Ruan Mei? Why is she the way she is? Why does she do everything she does?

Ruan Mei is a very interesting and complex character who often gets misinterpreted by the fandom and goes under the radar as a "sociopath evil scientist" or "that one that wants to become an Aeon" or who knows what ales. Despite her popularity when it comes to the meta, you don't see people talk about her as often as other characters. That is a shame in my opinion for I think exploring characters who go outside the conventional of a good person so much that people call them "sociopaths" and "crazy" because of the way they do and understand things can be interesting.

So I'm gonna try to challenge myself by trying to understand her.

Note that this dissection of her might not be perfect as I'm coming to and trying to understand her deeper as I write this and I'm always open to being corrected and to further discussions (I'm human and I can be wrong).

Getting all of that aside, let's start getting into her:

Who is Ruan Mei?

Ruan Mei is member #81 of the Genius Society, a genius who specializes in biology/life science and a member in Herta's Simulated Universe project. Her casual research shakes the schools of biology but why does she research? What does her research mean to her? What does she SEEK from it?

To answer such questions, we must go to her roots:

Lil A-Ruan

Despite her not understanding love, she actually grew up in a loving household! Her exposure to science was from her mother, who by the game calling her a scientist in quotes, it is to argue that she might have been more of a passionate person who seeked to acquire knowledge and test knowledge of her interest rather than an actual scientist who contributed to her field. But I digress.

Ruan Mei's mother would take her scientific expeditions and thus showing her daughter the wonders of life, biological life to be specific.

When she took lil Ruan Mei to No Man's Lend, the wonder that she experienced as she saw whatever was in that ice that came undone matched nothing ales. The emotional high and fascination was such a big and exciting emotion for Ruan Mei, that it cultivated her interest in biology science to this day. The discovery of something new that goes beyond her calculations, breaks away the ordinary and norm.

Since her early days of life, the feeling that came with the discovery of something new was presented to her and that's what she sought to chase to this day.

But it wasn't this moment alone that shaped Ruan Mei into being so obsessive to break and bend the rules of biology and create for her own fascination.

Ruan Mei's understanding of love

Since she was a child, her understanding of love was different from the ones in textbooks. Despite growing up in a loving household, where she would get forgiven all the time despite making mistakes, receiving snacks from her aunt and being brought with her mom on expeditions and let in her lab, she doesn't understand love.

But why? This is where I struggle to understand, but I think it just might be how Ruan Mei is.

She grew up with the influence of her mother, a research and thus, along with just who she is at her core, learned to be stubborn and to question. To draw her on conclusions and understanding of things and not take everything in the textbooks at face value and as absolute facts. And so, at a young age, her understanding of love broke away from the one in textbooks.

Specifically the "formulae" in textbooks. Formulae is an interesting word to use, not definition, formulae. Formulae and Formula mean the same thing: it can either be a mathematical relationship or rule expressed in symbols or a list of ingredients with which something is made.

The fact that little Ruan Mei thinks the definitions of love in textbooks are formulas says a lot. Ruan Mei in general sees the behavior of organisms in their logical ways and struggles to understand the more emotional and non-rigid explanations of them.

and her grief: the death of her parents and the broken promise

Because of her struggle to understand love and her exposure to the biology of life, the death of her parents took a huge toll on her.

She didn't cry, for she understood that life and death are inseparable but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. After her funeral, as night fell, we are told she made clones of her parents. (which is insane to me, why are we not talking about this? Ruan Mei WTF!?)

If this happens after the funeral as the text suggests it means she has researched a way to clone her parents in advance for quite some time and years.

And her grandma made a deal with her parents, that this death failed to keep it. (her grandma is also hinted to be alive but absent for some time, maybe even before their deaths even?) A promise Ruan Mei was hoping for them to fulfill. But what was that promise?

We don't know.

But it might have to do something with their mortality. Ruan Mei comes from a planet blessed by the Abundance and that must have affected the way her grandma and mother saw biological life as well as her mothers interested in it that rubbed on Ruan Mei.

Maybe they wanted to find a way to be immortal? Who knows, I'm theories rn so don't take that as gospel please.

But whatever this promise was, her parents death and the inability to fulfill it upset and broke Ruan Mei deeply. That and her inability to protect them, whatever this protecting meant.

"Only science... never lets anyone down"

Her parents mortality and their death was a let-down to her, something like a betrayal. Their death HURT her so much emotionally that she shut down as a result.

Ruan Mei, as much as she seems cold and struggles to understand the department of emotions, feels VERY deeply.

She probably didn't grow up with many friends as it's not mentioned and her family boarded on a research aircraft and explored many worlds which probably didn't give her many chances to socialize with anyone her age. Her family and their love was the only one she had and understood (in her one way and definition) and the only people she had.

Her only having her family must have made her REALLY close and attached to them because without them, who does she have? No one. And they left her, they left her with this pain and loneliness and the realization that:

Life is fleeting, and getting attached to people will only bring the pain of having to face their mortality in the long run. Losing them and having to deal with the painful emotions that it brings. For such is the nature of life.

" "Attachment".... involves the insular cortex, which controls anxiety and pain"

She doesn't want to get attached again so she won't experience that same pain. That's the logical thing to do right? Because the definition of it says this so she must do opposite and logically she won't experience it and be fine...right?

Besides her family she probably never had anyone around, so she is fine with being alone as she doesn't know how it is to not be alone outside her family. Loneliness is the norm for her.

Ruan Mei's research: her addiction to wonder

Ruan Mei's reacher, her discoveries, bring her that excitement and wonder that she felt as A-Ruan for that first time. Besides her family, these discoveries are the only thing that make her happy. But she doesn't have much to discover at this point. She managed to do and find so much that she can only occupy her time with "ik what if" projects like recreating a Propagation Emanator clone.

But Aeons? Oh they are her biggest wonder of them all, the most interesting beings out there to her. So much that maybe by understanding them and what makes them what they are, she might even be able to become one.

And imagine how much she could discover with the power of an Aeon. All the answers hidden to her by the limitations of her mortal understanding of things. Things only Aeons could understand. Maybe she will finally find the answer to when "life" those truly end and maybe what "love" is.

Ruan Mei and her understanding of life

Remember her parents? Yeah she probably brought them back based on the start of her Myriad Celestial Trailer.

Which brings everything to a new perspective as:

1. how much are those clones actually her parents? for Ruan Mei and just speaking logically

2. does Ruan Mei REALLY see them as her parents? Maybe. From the way she wonders "when does "life" truly end?" she might see them as her parents. They got the form and probably(?) maybe(?) at least most important(?) memories so you could say they ARE her parents.

And if life can be recreated and brought back like that, when does it truly end?

Her parents being brought back but the wound of not fulfilling their promise to her grandma. Why do they exist at the same time? Was the promise for them to not d!e? Life is in quotes when she wonders "when does "life" end?" so she might not fully see them as her parents. But another form of life, "life".

"Life" is technically still life so when does it truly end?

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Now that we understand her alone, let's try to understand her interactions with others outside her family based on what we know

Her creations

Something that the fandom often criticizes her for is her relationship with her creations as she abandons them if they don't meet the results she wants or have any academic value.

Which is not something I'm gonna excuse because poor little catcakes :( but with what we know of her it makes sense.

She thinks their love is something inherently biological. She made them so they are gonna want to seek her comfort as she is their creator and mother but she doesn't see the more deepness of those emotions.

To understand Ruan Mei's way of seeing it:

Your mother for example. You love her right?(I'm sorry ppl with mommy issues) Because she is your creator so it's only logical to seek her love, attention and approvel right?

That's where Ruan Mei's understanding of love stops.

But no one loves their mother just because she created you and is natural as her child to seek her love. You love her much more deeply than that. And it's complicated to explain why and who right? But you do.

And that's what Ruan Mei can't understand from her creations, how deep their love goes, how it goes beyond its logical biological explanation.

Her creations should be fine. With time they are gonna grow and stop wanting love from her and be independent, as that is the nature of living things. Right?

Her relationship with other people

Another thing people are upset about in the MC's stead is her dr*gging them with the anti truth serum.

Which is bad and a very drastic measure instead of just telling us "can you not talk about me to others please?" but it also shows how much she distrust others

I'm not justifying, I'm explaining:

Based on all we discussed, the betrayal she experienced with others and her lack of relationships in life outside her family makes her handle human relationship in a uhm...very original way.

She made us forget about her because she thinks it would only bring more trouble than good if the MC remembers her and starting on a new slate and forgetting it again and again is the most efficient way and one that brings the least emotional turmoil when it comes to their relationship in the long run (attachment).

She only dr*geed us because she believed that's the best way for this relationship to be. (now the fact that she makes this decision for the both of us and doesn't tell or late us have a say in it is a whole other thing)

But she can also be kind and considerate.

Asta's voice line about her:

"I asked Miss Ruan Mei where I could buy a charm like the one on her sleeve — but I was surprised to learn she'd hand-embroidered it. I was equally surprised when she gave me my own hand-embroidered charm the next time she came to the space station. Her craftsmanship, like her research papers, is superb."

She took note of her wanting a charm like hers, and proceeded to bring one the next time she came to the space station even though she didn't promise Asta. She did it because she wanted to not out of a need to fulfill a promise made of courtesy at the moment, she didn't even promise. She remembered and did it and gave it to her.

As for her relationship with Herta is Screwllum? She doesn't want to be more than colleges. And she doesn't like having to socialize with them. Though she recognizes Herta for being similar to her on a deeper level, she doesn't want to connect with her.

Ruan Mei is too confused on her research and has too little trust and faith in others to want to form relationships of any kind.

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To finally wrap this up:

Ruan Mei everyone ✨ *falls on the floor*

The silliest pookie ever who is definitely a green flag(trust) and will definitely come home (trust trust)

I hope this post can be of help in understanding her at least a little better and maybe even potentially sparking some discussion and theorizing about her (cause we can never have enough of that when it comes to fictional characters)

Again, this is my understanding of her and maybe I'm wrong on some stuff in here(...or maybe everything here is wrong 😭) so please correct me if so and don't please don't be mean (I genuinely tried, I'm only human)