Actually, Love Tends To Bloom Between People Who Are Not Just At Their Best, But Performing Well Past

Actually, love tends to bloom between people who are not just at their best, but performing well past that level, a hyperbest. The chemicals(basically all of them) that burst into overdrive with infatuation are to ensure pair bonding, so they supe us up to be more charming than we usually are, more funny, more patient and genial, more doting and interested, more carefree, more romantic, and to feel inspired like they haven't been in ages, delerious with the mere thought of the other person. Nothing feels wrong in the world, nothing can bring the person down. This drugged out love psychosis can last six months or more.

So, what sort of person is relating to this quote about being such a mess and the mess pretending all that love walking on by must just not be real, right? Like a little baby fairy tale about unconditional love. Except unconditional is not meant to be bestowed on an adult.

Love between adults is necessarily and deservedly replete with conditions and boundaries and deal breakers. That's something the head shrinkers with all their crazy jargon would label "healthy". Compare that with the girl shopping around, who has an important condition of her own that Prince Charming be sturdy and resilient to her messes while staying unconditionally true and taking care of her.

Be very wary of girls who like this sort of accountability shirking qualification. The fantasy validating the true loved mess is everything because they are always a mess and the mess is a very big problem.

You see a similar sentiment in the spookily common meme that reads , "if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best". This is an extra special red flag. Women who like this idea live in a paradoxical delusion about themselves.

These are women who spend a great deal of time at their worst, and if they have a best, it is like the fine China only for when the Queen is coming. So this girl who is a disregulated hurricane prone harpy has the sort of divergent mind that can cut a swathe of destruction and misery everywhere she goes but still have a diva level delusion of how precious and special she is and that her mythical best that perhaps no one has ever even seen is some extraordinary one-of-a-kind prize worthy of a perfect super human endurance doormat who will perpetually caretake her massive maintenance requiring hysterical mess. It's worth a shot. There are masochistic self loathing broken souls qualified for the job. She just has to nab one.

People express truths about themselves that aren't always apparent up front, but can be glimpsed with the smallest of gestures. The sorts of quotations, slogans and memes that resonates with a person are worth your attention, maybe even the fact that they are drawn to epigrams and aphorism in the first place is a flag. It perhaps suggests a hole in the person, a lost neediness seeking direction and reassurance constantly, not to mention a lazy attitude about fixes.

The ones demanding tolerance of their awfulness or conversely warning you off if you can read it, are a subset of this greater cohort who've earned a now cliché caution, that people who surround themselves with inspirationals are not the inspired or even the meagerly functional, but usually the neurotically depressed.

Those "don't give up right before the miracle arrives" vampires are worse than just an Eyeore. Eyeore is a pathetic creature mired in his mopey pessimism, but a sympathetic one, as well as being possessed of a certain self awareness and delimiting the amount of time he inflicts himself on others. The Inspirationals seeking are starving, voraciously seeking anything soothing, anything to feel momentarily better, or a facimile of whole. They're definitely not seeking personal accountability, it is anathema to them, requiring the impossible of them, like honesty, reflection, effort and acceptance. When they see you amble up, all you are is a big ol' rail of coke to them. To consume.

Heed the warnings, because they can exhude the most charismatic lures just long enough to dig their tendrils in to you. It's too late then. By then you're just a feed trough. For a while. Til you're empty.

eris-bacchanal - Eris' Bachhanal

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4 years ago

There was still such optimism about the future, then.

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4 years ago

Yep. That's about the shape of the roads I tend to find myself on.

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4 years ago

It will continue down this trajectory inexorably for the remaining years.

The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004) Dir. Wes Anderson

The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004) dir. Wes Anderson

4 years ago

The Band Scary Pockets performing a soulful iteration of Radiohead’s 1993 anti-anthem, “Creep” (On Youtube at https://youtu.be/tcNuPheBQgU)

Well that was incredible. The singer was just pouring out a heart rending, soulful rendition of Creep that would make your chest shudder.  Her possessed  driven voice was looking to smash right out of that room, like a gail force from massive unseen pipes.  She could turn from whisper to soaring then back.  

Meanwhile, the backing band  played a giddily infectious and genial vamp, like it just went right over their heads that Creep is a devastatingly sorrowful song–not melancholy, but acute anguish, bereaved loss as a freely gushing wound that doesn’t heal.But no, they carried entire duration  of the song–like it was jauntily amiable, laid back and with the purest kind of no-fucks-to-give, bounce in its gait.  For me, it recalled the sensation and storied feel of Herbie Hancock’s Fat Albert Rotunda, or the lope along good natured Linus and Lucy theme from countless Peanuts animated specials–which only added to the thick warm mallow feeling it stirred in me.  

Her voice railed with loneliness and loss.  It’s sonorous dolor filled the air enveloping the rhythm section, but instead of leaching the vitality out of them, it was like they just absorbed her energy for juice.  It cranked the mood coming off them from dopey laissez-faire to jubilation, the loping feel of the rhythm’s stride shifted subtly, rising in mood to a march. Then up from march to a joyous victory dance  without changing any tempo, dynamic, or orchestration, just like they appropriated the agony energy of her song and transformed it into an aural ecstasy  more suited to a dervish. 

********** 

More info on them, pasted from Youtube:

Subscribe: http://bit.ly/2IwGwQc

Official Website: https://scarypocketsfunk.com

Stories Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UC-yUK_2H... 

Facebook: https://facebook.com/scarypockets

Instagram: https://instagram.com/scarypockets

Twitter: https://twitter.com/scarypockets

Bandcamp: https://scarypockets.bandcamp.com

Musicians Vocals: India Carney Bass: Sam Wilkes Drums: Lemar Carter Guitar: Ryan Lerman Wurlitzer: Jack Conte  (who you might recognise from Pomplamoose) Recording Engineer: Pete Min


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4 years ago

I'm pushing 50. The median age of a Canadian male is 39. We are beginning the decline into an aging society, and yet various inteterests keep stripmining the healthcare system, making it wobblier, less efficient, more expensive. And eventually y, after those interests hobble the system, they say, "see, you've had your socialist experiment and it went as expected"

Reblog if you’re 30 or older

This is an experiment to see if there really are as few of us as people think.You can also use this to freak out your followers who think you’re 25 or something. Yay!


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4 years ago
Have A Nice Day :)

have a nice day :)

4 years ago

It's still a few days til new years. My half ass goal for the next year will be to remain up this side of the soil. Mr. Gaiman, what the bugnuts is the Good Madness?

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art – write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”

— Neil Gaiman (via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)


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4 years ago

prude isnt a label like "dumbass" its a condemnation of any girl who doesnt act in alignment with the standard of beauty. wrap your head around it

no, it's not, you're just oversensitive to any criticism and somehow have been raised to feel you should never be criticized. You don't know how to be an adult and cope with the world, so you just run around making demands and declarations. Do you know who I hear making condemnations? People like you. All day long. If you can't be bothered to learn the language, you shouldn't speak. Prude is not a gendered word, it can be a relevant descriptor for anyone unduly nervous, inhibited and uncomfortable with sexual matters. Beauty, and the supposed standards you allude to are not relevant. See, so what happens is you walk around ranting about how unfair the world is and its oh just so mean, but no one even knows what you are saying because you can't be bothered to use words accurately--its another sick entitled expectation people today have, they think a word means whatever whim crosses their airy heads in that moment, and expect everyone to fall in line--and then they have the temerity to say that it is they who are being oppressed. There has never been a generation in history so coddled, so spoiled, so comforted with special privileges and extra care for your endless feelings about everything, and puritanical rules everywhere so you never have to be uncomfortable and what did it accomplish? Whiny narcissistic baby tyrants who can't be made satisfied, ever, and feel absolute entitlement to dictate to others. It is loathsome and repellant. And it isn't a healthy or productive way to live. It's people like you who are always telling people how they should behave, believe, talk. That's the fucking ideologically driven normative force I see in the world: not your oppressors, but you. A whole generation of personality disordered morality police with zero self accountability of their own. Who the fuck would want to listen to you? Enfant terrible. That's a term too, with a definition. G wrap your whiny head around a fucking dictionary and grow up.

4 years ago
Get It Together - Via Http://ift.tt/1MCkt3S

Get it together - via http://ift.tt/1MCkt3S

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eris-bacchanal - Eris' Bachhanal
Eris' Bachhanal

No one does escape. It doesn't matter one bit. Humility is everything.

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