༻they/he || fagdyke || 20 || nsft༺ chronically ill and disabled, insane fan of stuff and things, kinky pervert, creative/artist
112 posts
Latest Posts by ergodyke - Page 4
Hallig Habel, a farm in northern Germany on the North Sea, an area of low flatlands and mudflats. This photo was taken during an extreme high tide. From Home Work: Handbuilt Shelter
Photo by Hans Joachim Kürtz
Like I’m literally destroying my life… but I’m having fun I guess?
Pros of hyperfixiation:
Happy!
Art ideas
Life is good
Cons of hyperfixiation:
I am going to blow up
All my art is of the same guy
If I don't think about this 24/7 I get violent
fuck you. [breaks you down into your base elements and deletes them one at a time]
inside me there are two lungs. and one liver. one stomach. a few meters of intestine. there's a lot inside me actually
Back on my T4T Hannigram shenanigans
Full version on Patreon <3
Telling Hugh Dancy about trans masc Will and more...
As some of you already know by now, I went to Boston Fanexpo this past weekend for another stop on the unofficial Hannibal 2024 Reunion Tour.
I had planned to do autographs on the Friday before the Hannibal panel and had brought some gifts for Hugh which included a copy of Adapt. Evolve. Become: The Genderqueer Fandom of NBC's Hannibal, which I compiled and edited last year. I also got him to sign my own copy (above).
It all moved quite quickly, but I did have the chance to explain that it's a volume by and about trans, non-binary, and genderqueer Fannibals that includes art, fics, essays, and personal pieces. He seemed intrigued and I said I hope he'd have the chance to read it and that the art isn't explicit/sexual but some of the fics are - he laughed and said he appreciated the warning.
It was all quite the whirlwind, especially after coming all the way from the UK, so I was absolutely mortified when I remembered the next morning that I had talked with a few trans Fannibals who had specifically asked me to let him know that he/Will is a trans icon. So I went back up to see him again on the Saturday morning when it wasn't too busy (and get more stuff signed) and this is what happened:
[I wrote notes down right after so this is as close an account I can get without having filmed it!].
Me: I saw you yesterday Hugh: I remember (smiley-friendly) Me: I gave you a book Hugh: I remember (smiley-friendly) Me: well, I forgot to tell you. A few trans Fannibals reached out to me to tell you that Will is a trans icon to them and we all love you for it. Hugh was surprised (in a nice way) and I was pretty much going to walk away then - job done and feeling like time for me to stop bothering Hugh lol. But before I could walk away he sort of held out his hand to stop me and said something along the lines of - I don't mean this in a disrespectful way, don't take it the wrong way... I'm genuinely curious- I get that it can be about identity- but what is the connection to Will and being trans? Luckily - my essay in the book is exactly about how Will can be read as trans, so I sort of gave him a summary of that. I explained that (obviously) both Will and Hannibal can be read as queer, and that - especially as both characters have dominant masculine and feminine traits, it's also easy to read them both as trans or in some way genderqueer. He was nodding and agreeing, so I further explained that with Hannibal, he is fully formed - he's already whatever he is - which Hugh also agreed with. But that Will is still becoming, still transitioning and therefore can be more relatable to trans fans who see that journey in themselves. So although it's not necessarily the same journey - there is enough to it that it resonates with trans people. I said that in the show there is also the added bonus of Will being seen and accepted for who he is, just as trans people wish to be. He was nodding along and agreeing with me and then he thanked me for explaining that. It was pretty quiet previously but I'd been there a few minutes so the queue was building up a little but he was so focused on me - so genuinely intent on hearing what I had to say and learning more. SO I CARRIED ON. (lols) I explained to him that it goes further than the show, that we have found a community in the fandom and that many trans people have a catalyst in their life that sparks their journey - like Will had in his friendship with Hannibal. For us it might be a person, an event, or even a TV show. I explained how the fandom are so supportive of trans people - that we are SEEN. That I for one wouldn't have been able to afford top surgery without the kind donations of Fannibals back when I was not in a good place (mentally or financially). That we all help each other and for some of us that has been life-saving. He did the hand on heart thing and said "wow" and was clearly moved. I said to him that so much of this is in the book, that I completely understand if he doesn't want to read the fanfic, but I really hope that he will at least read each of the personal pieces - that each of the fics and art also have a little write up from their creator about what the show and/or fandom has meant to them and their gender journey - how important this has been in our lives. He repeated a couple of times that he would definitely read it. I thanked him and he held out his hand and gave me the most genuine hand shake I've had in my life.
I want to really stress here how much this was instigated by Hugh. That he really wanted to know more and understand and didn't even look at the slowly growing queue but was instead intently focused on knowing more about the trans Fannibals and about why this show and the characters mean so much to us.
I then went off and spoke with a few Fannibal friends in the queue before getting around the corner to another Fannibal friend and having a bit of an emotional moment/breakdown. I can't even explain how grateful I am that he gave me the opportunity to explain all this to him. And I was especially glad I got to tell that Will is a trans icon because I'd have felt terrible if I'd have not done that after people had asked!! Thank you for trusting me to pass that message on for you!
💖
I know for many of you Adapt. Evolve. Become: The Genderqueer Fandom of NBC's Hannibal might have gone a little under the radar. So here is some more about that >>
It was compiled last year for Trans Hanni Day, edited by Max Turner of (and in conjunction with) A Coup of Owls Press - and published under Max's ACoO imprint.
It features essays, personal pieces, fanart and fanfic by and about trans, non-binary, genderqueer and otherwise non-cis Fannibals.
IT IS FREE TO DOWNLOAD, however we ask that if you do that, please consider donating to one of the linked trans orgs if you can afford to (or a similar organisation/charity of your choice).
It can be purchased on Amazon, however, as the proceeds go to charity, and Amazon only gives royalties, more is earned/given if bought directly via Max's shop.
Dearest trans Fannibals, please know that YOU ARE SEEN!
Thinking about how Lena really wanted them all to eat the office food & drink on site,
there are multiple cases/archive reports related to growing/‘blooming’ and food,
We know protocol is All About Alchemy
FOOD AND PLANTS ARE INHERENTLY ALCHEMICAL
They keep complaining about the food and drinks tasting bad and how the doughnut holes have been around for ages
‘Alchemical preserved food never tastes exactly the same as fresh food’ (-worldanvil.com)
When Lena leaves everything goes Very Bad very not good very quickly.
WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH THE FOOD LENA
There's something about the tmagp characters' motivations, and who they're willing to sacrifice, and how the people or things they prioritise act towards them, and how it goes for them.
Because
Celia is willing to sacrifice Sam, who loves her and who she genuinely does care about, to stay with Jack. And then there's a moment where she isn't sure she can go through with it, and she loses him anyway without having to act, and she'll probably never know exactly what choice she would have made in the end, even though she's consciously planned this for weeks.
Alice straight up abandons Teddy and Colin, who are both Not Doing Well, when they are explicitly asking her for help, to go and protect Sam, who has told her not to come after him. It's barely a decision for her - she quite clearly stops thinking about anything or anyone else.
Sam finds out that Celia betrayed him and STILL puts himself in danger to protect her. And ends up falling through the gap to another world, which is exactly what she was planning to do to him.
Gwen throws Lena under the bus the moment the opportunity comes up, purely for the sake of her own ambition, which is part of a broader pattern of decisions. And it's immediately obvious when she gets what she wanted that it's only going to go badly for her.
Idk idk it's the love and the need and the want of it all, and the ruthlessness that can come out of it, and the way they make or don't make their choices, and the consequences of it aaaaaa
I propose kiss. Kissing. Now please.
Takes a guy who's obsessed with saving people even if it risks his life and a guy who is literally allergic to asking for help in any situation and puts them in My stew puts them in my fucking stew and stirs it
Calling all monsterfuckers! 🗣️📢
The monsterfucker survey has now launched! It’s completely anonymous and takes about 20 minutes!
**please refrain from commenting until the survey has closed (4/4) to avoid biases and maintain some anonymity—though feel free to reblog. You MUST be a legal adult in your state/province/country to take this survey**
Take Survey!
I’ve been thinking about Howl’s Moving Castle and how Sophie’s curse is a physical symbol of her self belief of being romantically unlovable (especially after growing up with beautiful, sought after women in her family.) How Howl tries to undo the curse the moment she steps into his castle but he *cant* because Sophie doesn’t want it to be broken. How, in the film, Sophie gets so close to breaking the curse in the field, but hearing Howl call her beautiful went against her self views, so she reinforces her sense of self by turning 90 again.
And the way that her love and kindness make her younger again and again. How film Sophie sacrifices her long hair, perhaps what past Sophie would have seen as her only beauty, for Howl but she’s grown so much that she still remains young, perhaps even confident about her grey hair, showing that Sophie no longer links her appearance to her lovability or worth and she learned to accept herself as she is. In this essay I-
getting unzipped has to feel so good for the compressed file
My boy builds coffins
ok what’s your florence + the machine song. mine is rabbit heart (raise it up)<3
How interested would people be if I wrote a lesbian buddie smut fic where Eddie practices rope tying on Buck because she got into trouble with Bobby for bad knot tying and Buck offers so so platonically to help her any way she can …
the enormity of my desire is totally fine and manageable and good for me
Sometimes I’m in a suit, sometimes I’m slutted up…
“i’m straight” the straight:
Tiny creatures tattoo sheet! These (and more) can be claimed as tattoo tickets in my shop, just make sure to read my FAQ before buying C:
When Izzy first walked out I was worried that he would be made into a joke that the crew would laugh at
but then he started singing and the dancing began and I realized that he wasn’t meant to be a joke at all. This is the most open and happy we’ve ever seen Izzy and the show treated it that way. Not mocking him but instead celebrating this moment.
When we talk about queer representation it’s usually just focused on queer relationships, but what I love about this episode is it shows other sides of being queer. That moment where Izzy saw Wee John doing his makeup and had a realization that he wanted that too? That is what being queer means to me. The crew singing along and cheering for him? That is what being apart of the queer community means to me.
What i love about this show is that it shows queer joy, not in a sanitized way, but in away that is messy, beautiful, and without any mockery or shame.