— DERRY GIRLS 2.03 — FLEABAG 2.03

Like I’m literally destroying my life… but I’m having fun I guess?

Pros of hyperfixiation:

Happy!

Art ideas

Life is good

Cons of hyperfixiation:

I am going to blow up

All my art is of the same guy

If I don't think about this 24/7 I get violent

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genuinely though what the fuck was going on in tommy's head. "now that the competition is gone" bitch you're standing in his house. he's in the fucking walls.

Cooking horror game where you play as a cook working in the galley of a ship in the 1800s. There’s some kind of supernatural nautical horror story going on in the background but you barely notice this because you spend all day cooking in the galley.

I’ve been thinking about Howl’s Moving Castle and how Sophie’s curse is a physical symbol of her self belief of being romantically unlovable (especially after growing up with beautiful, sought after women in her family.) How Howl tries to undo the curse the moment she steps into his castle but he *cant* because Sophie doesn’t want it to be broken. How, in the film, Sophie gets so close to breaking the curse in the field, but hearing Howl call her beautiful went against her self views, so she reinforces her sense of self by turning 90 again.

And the way that her love and kindness make her younger again and again. How film Sophie sacrifices her long hair, perhaps what past Sophie would have seen as her only beauty, for Howl but she’s grown so much that she still remains young, perhaps even confident about her grey hair, showing that Sophie no longer links her appearance to her lovability or worth and she learned to accept herself as she is. In this essay I-

Howl’s Moving Castle lava lamp with emo Howl as the lava

Le Monocle, lesbian bar in Paris, circa early 1930s

ROULETTE: BERLIN, Reel Queer, 2009

Hunger Games didn’t really eat holes in my brain the way that it did for some other people but god the opening lines. The opening lines. Katniss wakes up in bed and immediately, instinctively reaches beside her, only to find the bed empty and cold. Before we even know her name – before we know literally anything about her or this world or her place in that world – we know that she loves someone. We know that she is reaching for where Prim should be, sleeping safe and warm beside her, but Prim is not there. She is not there, and her half of the bed is cold and empty. People talk about characters being “doomed by the narrative” when most of the time the character was literally just a well-foreshadowed death, but Prim WAS doomed by the narrative. It’s the very first thing we learned. It’s the most key, integral, important piece of information we’re given about everything that is about to happen: Every single choice Katniss makes is to protect her little sister, and it isn’t enough. In the end, Prim still dies. Prim was dead before the story even started. Katniss, reaching. Prim’s side of the bed was cold and empty. There is no version of this story where Prim could have been saved. Katniss, reaching. The very first thing she does in the series. She wakes, and she reaches, but Prim is already gone. THAT is how you do Doomed By The Narrative. Edit: Also it is key that there was literally nothing Katniss could have done differently. If she had not acted to save Prim, Prim would not have survived the Hunger Games. But by acting to save Prim, Katniss accidentally kicked off an entire rebellion and ultimately massively increased the amount of danger Prim was actually in. The key is that this is irrelevant. If Katniss had done literally anything differently, Prim still would have died. If Katniss had faltered or changed course at any point, Prim still would have died. There was never a point where Katniss could have changed Prim’s fate. There’s no version of this story where Prim lives to see the end of it. She’s dead before the story begins. That’s doomed by the narrative.

thank u earth for leather & fur & sex & pottery & laughter & rain & the lilac bush & hay in a field & cows to eat the hay & thank u earth for a perfect view of the moon