Autumn Finland Comic ♥ I Forgot To Pack My Red Ink So Just Two Colours. But There Is A Lot Of Yellow

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More scary waters, by popular demand!

Since my last post ranking bodies of water really, really blew up, I decided to make a second. Some of these were suggested by people (in which case I’ll credit them), and some were just ones that didn’t quite make the cut for the first list.

I’ll also be doing a third list ranking the most toxic bodies of water in the world, so stay tuned for that.

Also, keep in mind that these aren’t ranked by how dangerous they are. They’re ranked by how scary I, personally, find them. So if the rating seems off, it’s due to which ones inspire a visceral reaction in me and which ones don’t.

Silfra Rift, Iceland

This one is something that I actually find very beautiful rather than scary, but it still seems like something that others might be freaked out by. The Silfra Rift is the point where the Eurasian and North American continental plates are pulling apart, creating a crack in the earth that filled with water. The water here is incredibly clear, and you can see all the way down to the bottom even in the deepest spots (which are almost 200 feet down, by the way). It’s the only place in the world where you can put your hands on two different continents at the same time! I’ve had the privilege of snorkeling here, and although it’s definitely deep, I wasn’t terribly scared due to the fact that the rift is just so beautiful. The only danger to swimmers is the temperature; it stays between 35-39 F year-round, meaning anyone getting into the water needs a full drysuit to avoid getting hypothermia or worse. I give the Silfra Rift a 1/10 fear rating because I thought I would be much more freaked out by it than I was.

Dragon Hole, China

While not as visually striking as the Great Blue Hole in Belize, this sinkhole in China is the deepest “blue hole” in the world. This pit descends 987 feet down. This earns a 2/10 purely because this is just a goddamn hole in the ocean that’s almost 1,000 ft deep and I don’t care for that.

Lake Tanganyika, multiple countries (suggested by @iguessiamhere)

This lake didn’t quite make the cut for the first list because it comes in second to Lake Baikal. It’s the second-oldest, second-deepest, and second-largest (by volume) lake in the world. But someday, Lake Tanganyika may be number 1, because just like Baikal, it’s a Rift Valley. It’s getting bigger every day, and in a few million years when Baikal is an ocean, Tanganyika might be the largest lake by default. Its 4,820 ft depth earns it a 3/10.

Lake Superior, US/Canada (suggested by multiple people)

This is the largest of the Great Lakes, and the third-largest lake in the world. It reaches depths of over 1,000 feet and has a surface area of over 31,700 square miles. Lake Superior is the site of over 350 shipwrecks and contains roughly 10,000 dead bodies. The reason these bodies are never recovered is because the lake is very cold, and very deep. The lake bottom is essentially a sterile environment, where bodies are preserved for eternity instead of floating up as a normal body would. This lake holds onto her dead. 4/10 for sheer danger and alarming amount of dead bodies.

Cenote Angelita, Mexico ( @olive-k wanted a cenote, and this list has two!)

This is a cenote with an underwater river running through it. No, I’m not kidding. Underwater rivers are actually quite common, but they rarely exist in places that humans can see them. Usually they’re caused by a current moving in a different direction than the majority of the water, or a boundary between water with different density (as is the case here). The “river” appearance in Angelita is enhanced by dead trees, giving the appearance of a bank. For the first 100 feet, this cave has regular freshwater. But a little deeper lies a layer of hazy hydrogen sulfate, and beneath that is 100 feet of salt water. This ranks 5/10 because can you imagine descending towards a hazy patch of water and branches that you assume is the bottom, only to pass right through it and see a gaping black expanse beneath? No thanks.

Devil’s Hole, Nevada

As a biologist, this is somewhere that I actually want to visit. This tiny waterhole in the desert is the only place that the endangered Devil’s Hole Pupfish lives. But we’re not here to learn about cute fish, we’re here to read about unsettling waterways. And hooo boy, this one is pretty weird. Because despite its appearance, this isn’t a little rainwater pool. It’s the opening to a huge cave system, which reaches depths of at least 500 feet. We’re not totally sure, though, because the bottom has never been mapped, and several people have died trying to attempt it. 6/10, since it’s very deep, hasn’t been fully mapped, and is apparently haunted.

Eagle’s Nest Sinkhole, Florida

There is literally a sign in front of this sinkhole that reads “STOP. Prevent your death. There is nothing in this cave worth dying for” accompanied by a picture of the Grim Reaper. Need I say more? Probably not, but I will anyway. This sinkhole is the only surface opening to a cave system that stretches several miles and plunges to over 300 feet deep. Miles of twisting, confusing, narrow passages with only one exit make for an extremely dangerous cave system. For some fucking reason, it’s a very popular dive site. At least 11 people have died here since the 80’s, and is referred to as the “Underwater Mt Everest” because of how dangerous it is. 7/10.

Zacatón, Mexico

This cenote was literally considered “bottomless” for a long time, because no one could find the bottom. Multiple expeditions were attempted, including one where a man died after reaching 925 feet without finding the end. It took a multi-million dollar operation funded by NASA to find the bottom of this hole. I’m not kidding. Turns out, it’s 1,099 feet deep, making it the deepest cenote in the world. It disturbs me that it took NASA and a robot designed to map alien moons to locate where this hole ended, so it earns an 8/10.

Saltstraunen, Norway (suggested by anon)

This narrow strait is home to the strongest tidal currents on the planet. Roughly 110 billion gallons of seawater move in and out of this corridor every six hours, creating violent currents. These tidal movements are so strong they create a phenomenon very similar to the whirlpool in Scotland—the Saltstaunen Maelstrom. This vortex is 33 feet across and forms four times a day as the tides go in and out. Although this whirlpool is only 16 feet deep (very shallow compared to Scotland’s) the currents alone would probably destroy you if you ever fell into this strait. 9/10 because damn.

Blue Lake, Russia

Despite having the least creative name of all time, the Blue Lake is anything but boring. Like the Zacatón, this lake had a reputation for being bottomless for a long time. A diver died after descending to 394 feet, and another barely survived after going down to 685 feet. Neither found the bottom. Eventually, the bottom was discovered and it came as a surprise. The lake itself is only 770 ft by 426 ft, but it is 846 ft deep. This lake is deeper than it is long. It is also a constant 48 degrees F, making hypothermia a risk for any swimmers. If that’s not bad enough, it’s also full of hydrogen sulfide, which makes the air around the lake potentially dangerous. However, people do still dive here on occasion (mostly for research purposes) and the lake is surprisingly beautiful beneath the surface. Still, that doesn’t make it any less deep, cold, and poisonous, so this is a 10/10 for me.

Honorable mention: The Mariana’s Trench, because although it’s not really a specific body of water it’s the deepest point in the ocean, at 7 miles below the surface!

Okay. This is what happened. This is canon, there have been unreliable narrators before and no one can prove me wrong. Tolkien estate can eat my entire ass.

Legolas and Gimli are living life in middle earth until Gimil is ready to pass on and Legolas starts building a boat.

This is the first time the redneck backwoods prince has ever had to fabricate something. He's never crafted a functional object in his entire life and Gimli, from an entire race of fanatical craftsman, watches his elf get into a leaky bathtub and nearly drown in 3 feet of water. In a pond.

Gimli goes, yeah, okay, I guess I can take up another hobby and becomes the first, last, and only dwarven shipwright ever. The boat he makes is the world's first, last, and only Ironside, and it looks like a seige engine. Legolas helps and stands around looking pretty and does a lot of explaining when they show up in Valinor to dock with all the pretty elven sloops in the Khazad-dûm II.

Look sometimes I just so much want to write fairytale story involving faded Maglor haunting little remote villages in the East

Like, mortal men at the East seashores had this tale of beautiful sad singing voice near the sea

But this voice was not the evil voices that lured you into danger

This voice guided you to safety

If you swim too far away in the sea and got swiped away by the waves sometimes this voice came to you and suddenly the waves released you and allowed you to go back to the shore

There were fishermen and sailors swore that they only found their way home alive in some heavy storms due to a strange singing voice

Orphans and children left alone at home sometimes heard lullaby on the nights they could not sleep

Occasionally when someone got really sick beyond help people took them to some places near the ocean and sometimes they got better like a miracle. Even in the case they still die they died peacefully with little suffer. They said there was a voice there singing illness and pain away.

There were tales about people being chased by orcs near the ocean, then they heard songs and somehow the orcs could not see them anymore and ran directly into the sea and drowned

There was this village got attacked at night (sometimes armies of orcs took whole villages of people away and nobody knew where they went), and a voice warned people in their dreams, and those who followed the voice was lead away from the orcs, which was supposed to be impossible, they were surrounded from all directions

Sometimes when you walked along the shoreline you could hear songs of a beautiful language you could not recognize. It was so sad and but it was also extremely beautiful. In this East land there was little hope but those who heard the hopeless song somehow had a little bit of hope again. If something so beautiful like this existed, then the dark king of the world might not be all powerful. There were things beyond their reach.

There were people who tried to talk to the voice. “Who are you? Why are you here? What are you singing about? Do you have a home? Why are you so sad?”

But the voice never replied.

Along the ocean people prayed. Yes in many areas they were required to pray to the King of the World, but how can you sincerely worship the Lord of All that sent monsters to take away your children and turn their into monsters? If there were other gods who were good and kind, how could these gods allow their life to be this way? If there were gods they were enslaved by one and abandoned by the others.

But people still pray to things, to the ocean to the land to the sky to the stars above, like a child in dark night cry for a mother even when their mother was dead or taken away.

Some people prayed to the voice too.

Some people prayed for the voice.

—————

(I love the idea of Maglor being dragged back home but I also love the idea of Maglor gradually finding peace in his self-exile and helping people he did not know and somehow kept being adopted by local mortal kids even when he no longer had a body)

(There is just so much peak aesthetic in “beautiful regretful voice lingering by the sea”)

The Jewler

On that note, I'm delighting myself translating the word "friend" in Tolkien as bestie. Lots of fun sentences but none beats the alliteration of "Beren became the bestie of birds and beasts"

I blame my obsession of men with long hair on Lord of the Rings; I don’t think that needs elaborating.

the title of the last song you listened to is the epitaph on your tombstone