“Im Your What?!” Vader Turns To Beru And Owen. “I’m His WHAT?!?”

Luke refuses to have a brain-to-mouth filter for the sheer fact if you try to come at him for his alarmingly high level of weird, dumbass, queer-coded sass, he can straight-up fucking juggle you in front of your peers.

Paz: *demonstrating his complete lack of knowledge on a subject*

Luke: I hope you’re attractive under that helmet because no one is going to marry you for your intelligence

Din, sweet, dearly beloved himbo: That man could roast me into oblivion on our wedding night and for every day after and I would thank him

Tim:… fair, although I hope she doesn’t try to get me to go back with her. I’d hate to have to blow up Damian’s mother. He might actually kill me this time.

*After joker escapes and tries to kill jason again*

Talia appearing out of nowhere*

Bruce: wha-

Talia: i'm ending this, and don't you dare try to stop me!

Tim: you're not going to stop her?

Bruce: would you?

Clark: i wouldn't, she scares me

Din talking to himself as he hauls an unconscious Luke over his shoulder and jiggles a bag of candy for the foundlings to follow him: It's not kidnapping if you're taking the whole family. This isn't breaking intergalactic laws. You're a great Dad and soon to be a great husband once Luke wakes up. You're not breaking any laws.

Din, tucking Luke in as he gets the new foundlings to their amazing rooms and then getting their wedding vows ready: It's just a little bend of the law. We're all good. Just a tiny bump at the start of our marriage--he'll be fine with it. I am gonna be SUCH a good husband.

Favorite Child

Summary:Tim is Bruce’s favorite child. He really, really is. 

Disclaimer: I own nothing. 

Note: Prompt fill for yufei. 

Keep reading

Lmao this is me

Headcanon for the batbros:

Jason: For the record, I know this is somehow bullshit. I am aware that I am being manipulated. I am choosing to go along with it.

Tim: Good for you, now are we doing this or not?

Jason: Yeah, fine.

Sometimes when Dicks just too tired to deal with the batfam’s shit he starts encouraging them.

================================

Surrounded by gang members and caught in the crossfire between two gangs

Jason *pulling out a gun* : I’m gonna fucking obliterate all of them

Nightwing: Go right ahead

Jason: .. you serious? I’m not playing Dick I WILL shoot every single one of them in the head

Nightwing: sure.

Jason:

Nightwing: What you want me to start? Okay.

Jason: .. Dick why the fuck do you have a gun? DICK STOP LOADING THE GUN-

================================

At a stakeout waiting for the proof before intervening

Tim: Why can’t we just force a confession instead of waiting for him to crack?

Stephanie: Ooo or threaten him with blackmail so bad he starts crying!

Duke: Guys *eyes point to Dick sitting in a corner*

Stephanie: Right.. party pooper

Nightwing:

Nightwing: Okay got it.

*heads out*

Duke: No Dick wait! We were joking!

Stephanie: drama queen just needs a minute sunshine- wait is that him approaching the target?

Tim *who’s seen this happen before* *panicking knowing what’s gonna go down* : OH SHIT ABORT-

================================

Being stuck with a very annoying henchmen who won’t stop talking

Damian: .. Can we simply shut him up?

Nightwing: whatever you wanna do

Damian *narrows eyes*: I can’t ruin my katanna for this

Nightwing: *hands him knife*

Damian:

Nightwing: And remember, the most effective place to silence someone without causing them excruciating pain and also temporarily depriving them of air is right here *points to a small area on the neck*

Damian: ..

Nightwing: .? Go on?

Damian *putting it away* : .. no..

================================

It works a 1000 times more effectively just because either all of them are bluffing or they’re scared Dick’s not.

the batkids will deliberately get jason into their favorite pieces of media so he’ll write fanfiction for it.

dick discovered this strategy when he forced jason to watch one of his favorite shows with him. he’d totally forgotten that the show ended on a cliffhanger before it was cancelled, but rewatching it brought back that feeling of dissatisfaction he had the first time around. so dick opens up the ao3 tag for the show and to his surprise, there’s a brand new fic addressing every single loose end, complete with beautiful prose and amazing characterization. dick practically weeps. it’s only when he realizes some of the things in the fic match up with the rants jason had during their watch of the show that he has barbara confirm his suspicions about who the author is.

somehow everybody but jason gets wind of this and they’re taking unashamed advantage of it. the next time they see a movie together, stephanie leans over to jason to whisper about the romantic potential between two characters. she gets like three fics for her ship out of that. when jason goes outside, barbara switches electronic billboards and redirects taxis with ads for her favorite show. and of course, every targeted ad on his phone and computer are for the same show. when he finally gives in and watches it, barbara ends up with plenty of content to get her through the between seasons break.

everybody in jason’s family is subscribed to the ao3 account that he doesn’t know they know he has. one day, they’re all chilling in the library, and at the same time jason publishes his latest fic (for a movie bruce of all people was very insistent he watch), everybody’s email notifications go off. he narrows his eyes suspiciously. “just some wayne enterprises stuff.” “got a package delivered.” “what’s an email?”

it’s fine. he’ll let them get away with it. besides, he does the same thing to damian to get fanart out of him.

Violence isnt the answer… unless it is.

Disaster Lineage vs. Their Padawans in the matter of being insulted

Anakin: Ahsoka, pay no attention to them. The worst you can do to them is act like they don't exist.

Ahsoka, disappointed that she can't bite them: Yes, master.

-

Obi-Wan: Anakin, think. This isn't how Jedi behave.

Anakin, reluctantly relinquishing his grasp on his opponent's jugular: Yes, master.

_

Qui-Gon Jinn: Excuse me- do you think you can say that to MY PADAWAN?

Obi-Wan: Master, no.

-

Dooku, handing Qui a knife: Defend your honour.

Qui-Gon, shaking: I don't think this is how Jedi-

Dooku: I want no excuses.

-

Master Yoda, steadily pushing Dooku forward like he has wheels: MAKE HIM BLEED, YOU WLL

Dooku: MASTER NO

Yoda: A WUSS, A JEDI IS NOT

Sifo-Dyas, scrambling forwards: NO!!

commission art for @drinkysketch

Time to dance all evening and all night!

Me when I g egg back into my Undertale hyper fixation and start writing an entire fucking Multiverse for it because I love Error Ink being friends and not dating.

"back on my bullshit" in reference to recurring hyperinterests dating back to middle school and beyond