DP X TMA

Impulse, stepping into the room: oh, you’ve gotten smarter then.

Everyone else, horrified and confused: what????

Impulse, widening his eyes and tilting his head innocently: what?

One day, for shits and giggles, Bruce asks the JL which of his kids they think has the highest kill count. Naturally everyone assumes it’s Bruces estranged Crime Lord son. Other’s assume it’s his literal ex-assassin child.

Bruce, whips out a PowerPoint with statistics and next to Tim’s name is just a question mark.

“I know it’s Tim,” Bruce finally says, “I just don’t have enough evidence to back it up.”

The JL is ready to defend this kid, because he doesn’t seem the type, but Red tornado, who was a den mother for the young Justice team, and flash, who has a great relationship with his family both nod along with bruce. Which is a relief, because Bruce swears he’s being gaslit by his third youngest. Bruce still loves him, but Tim is crazy(affectionate) and no one else seems to see it.

Totally using this for a story.

In the rewind au does Wukong have Mk on his shoulders/back more often? Mama monkeys have their babies on their backs whenever they’re little, I think it’d be cute if Wukong just mindlessly grabbed Mk and tossed him up on his shoulders when ever the kid was just standing around.

Get baby monkey-ed MK!

Absolutely!

Nothing to say. Just wanna spread this to my followers.

Harbinger of Chaos who??

Sometimes when Dicks just too tired to deal with the batfam’s shit he starts encouraging them.

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Surrounded by gang members and caught in the crossfire between two gangs

Jason *pulling out a gun* : I’m gonna fucking obliterate all of them

Nightwing: Go right ahead

Jason: .. you serious? I’m not playing Dick I WILL shoot every single one of them in the head

Nightwing: sure.

Jason:

Nightwing: What you want me to start? Okay.

Jason: .. Dick why the fuck do you have a gun? DICK STOP LOADING THE GUN-

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At a stakeout waiting for the proof before intervening

Tim: Why can’t we just force a confession instead of waiting for him to crack?

Stephanie: Ooo or threaten him with blackmail so bad he starts crying!

Duke: Guys *eyes point to Dick sitting in a corner*

Stephanie: Right.. party pooper

Nightwing:

Nightwing: Okay got it.

*heads out*

Duke: No Dick wait! We were joking!

Stephanie: drama queen just needs a minute sunshine- wait is that him approaching the target?

Tim *who’s seen this happen before* *panicking knowing what’s gonna go down* : OH SHIT ABORT-

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Being stuck with a very annoying henchmen who won’t stop talking

Damian: .. Can we simply shut him up?

Nightwing: whatever you wanna do

Damian *narrows eyes*: I can’t ruin my katanna for this

Nightwing: *hands him knife*

Damian:

Nightwing: And remember, the most effective place to silence someone without causing them excruciating pain and also temporarily depriving them of air is right here *points to a small area on the neck*

Damian: ..

Nightwing: .? Go on?

Damian *putting it away* : .. no..

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It works a 1000 times more effectively just because either all of them are bluffing or they’re scared Dick’s not.

Absolutely. This man could’ve been POPULAR and he stared at his brother and decided ‘No, I will NOT be doing that. No thanks.’ and made people leave him alone under threat of freshman meanness. Frankly? I wouldn’t wanna be friends with a rude freshman, freshmen are men, I was a freshman last year and we were mean!

Btw if you portray Zane as socially inept or anxious you’re going against his character and should label it OOC because that man’s charisma is off the fucking charts and chooses to be alone. People flock to him he just hates them.

Job Offer

Anakin: [dramatic and villainous] Join me, Master! I’ll give you one last chance! Obi-Wan: …fine.  Anakin: I – [Dramatic John Williams Score cuts out] Wait, what? Obi-Wan: I said all right, then. [puts his cloak back on] Anakin: [mouth agape] Wh– no, Master, you –  Obi-Wan: You offered, didn’t you? I mean if the Jedi Order and Republic are over, as you say, I suppose I’ve got to find employment somewhere.  Anakin: [with gears visibly turning in his head] Well – but – it’s just. I’m talking about the Dark Side, Master, you know that, right? Obi-Wan: Yes. What else could you have possibly been talking about? Anakin: I…right, of course. So…you’re just, fine with becoming a Sith Lord, just like that.  Obi-Wan: [smoothing out his sleeves] Hmm? I mean, I suppose, you know. Whatever you want to do.  Anakin: That…this doesn’t make any sense.  Obi-Wan: See, those were my thoughts exactly!  Anakin: [confused as hell] …yeah, so…why… Obi-Wan: [scrolling on his phone] I, too, thought to myself “goodness! That certainly looks like Anakin pledging his life to a Sith Lord, but that, that makes no sense whatsoever! We were just about to win the war, and at any rate I just saw him only a handful of hours ago. Becoming a Sith, at this moment of all moments, would be possibly the stupidest, least-thought-through decision he’s ever made, even including that time he ate those leftovers that had been in the conservator since before we left for Christophsis.”  Anakin: [makes a face]  Obi-Wan: But then I thought, “well, Obi-Wan, you’ve known Anakin a very long time, surely if he’s doing something this drastic, it must be for a very good reason indeed. A reason that is based on solid facts that he has thought through at length after having gotten many hours of restful sleep. It’s not like he’d turn to the Dark Side because he’s panicked about something and refuses to talk to anyone about it in any actionable detail, and has decided to place all his proverbial eggs in one basket that happens to belong to a Sith Lord who orchestrated this entire war from the start!” Because of course that would be idiotic. And if that were the case, Anakin should probably just shut up and get on the ship and go help his wife before I have to do something I very much wouldn’t like to have to do to him.  Anakin: [opens his mouth] [closes it] [unintelligible mumble] Obi-Wan: So, very well then. Sith Lords it is. Do I need to do anything immediately, or shall we just get on to murdering people?I I must say I don’t own many dark colors, but I’m sure we can stop at a store at some point during our killing spree.  Anakin: W– no, I mean, Obi-Wan, you can’t…like…be that way. That’s not…you’re…you. Obi-Wan: What way is that, Anakin? Did you or did you not ask me to join you? Hmm? I said I accept. I presume you are a man of your word. Whom shall I kill in cold blood? [draws his lightsaber] Anakin: I…you should. I just. [mumbles again] Obi-Wan: What’s that? I couldn’t quite hear you. [leans in slightly] Would it bother you to see me behaving in such a way? Would it disappoint you, or possibly even tear your heart into pieces to watch your Master fall so far and do such terrible things? Would you do anything, forgive anything even though that is objectively insane, in the off chance that I might see reason, because I am behaving so far beyond anything you know of me? Anakin: [looks away and stares] [more mumbling, scuffs his boot on the ground] Obi-Wan: …well?! Anakin: [pouting and picking up his cloak, already walking away] I said I’ll get in the ship! 

Unless he’s watching over Arkham and making DAMN SURE the party isn’t being disturbed?

Duke not being at Damian's 13th birthday party is ooc and I will never stop grudging Truth & Justice for that.

WIP

Someone said Tim and Ra's gave them Morticia and Gomez vibes, which led to me writing this at 4 in the am. Not exactly what I intended but it still vibes y'know? Enjoy I guess.

Ra's is humming in frustration over some paperwork, league reports about recent attacks against his bases further south. He's trying to figure things out but it's late and he's already attended several meetings today. He's stressed, completely worn out.

Tim, dressed in the finest of dark silks gifted to him, comes up behind the older man; eerie blue eyes uncannily unnatural ringed in the thick kohl. His steps are silent but for the soft jingle of ancient gold jewelry and rare gemstones.

At first, his touch is soft and gentle when he reaches out. Then his sharp nails are raking down his newly-wedded husband's richly coloured skin, applying simple pressure and edging that line between feeling good and painful. "Don't torture yourself Dearest, that's my job."

Ra's smiles and turns to him, cupping his porcelain face, thumb tracing a shiny, thin line over his chin. Tim's body reminds him of Kintsugi. "I am only keeping you safe, beloved. These attacks are coming nearer and nearer-"

"You don't need to fear for my safety. I'm just as skilled with a sword as you." Tim cuts off, knocking Ra's' hand away, offended at the meer implication that he couldn't hold his own against a few rival assassins.

"Oh I don't doubt your capabilities, my dear Ghazal. I merely honour you so much that I am willing to fight for for you whilst you rest atop my thrown", Ra's soothes his husband, taking his hand and kissing over his marred knuckles. Acknowledging each scar as a proof of his strength, talent, admirable stubbornness.

Tim grins at that.

"You'd fight for me? You'd have me sit on your throne? Allow me to hold away over all your servants and ninja?" He tests, pulling back his hand from Ra's' grasp and turning to lean against the desk, disturbing some of the documents that lay there.

"Darling I would kill for you", Ra's reminds the younger man. "Do not question the lengths of which I am willing to devote myself to you now that we are one. Everything that is mine, is yours. Whatever you want I will give to you."

"Whatever I want?" Tim bites his lip, considering. Ra's only grins back, wide and promisingly predatory as he bares his teeth.

"Anything you wish for, my beloved".

Tim's got the most dangerous man in the world wrapped around his little pinky finger. He's got Ra's' thinking this was all his own perfectly crafted idea.

Tim smirks.

"Good."

Kon: Tim...remember your principles...

Tim: I don't have principles, Batman has principles, and I follow them because I have daddy issues.

Kon: Then, remember Batman's principles..?

Tim: Man, fuck Batman!

HI SO UM I CAME UP WITH AN AU…..